sempiternals | Through space and time the path unwinds

Tifa's first thought when she wakes up is something about the bedding. Her open eyes show her that she's in the Operation Room of the Highwind, so how is it that she's lying on something soft? Did those guys take it from some Inn they shouldn't have even been in? The last thing they need when the world is falling apart is to start a life of petty crime, and--

Cloud.

The thought strikes her much stronger, much more suddenly than the rest. She sits up, eyes sweeping over the room. There's a sigh of relief on her lips when she sees him, still sleeping, an arm's length away in a bundle of the same bedding. Relief, and something softer too, something that unfurls like it's been waiting for her to find it all along. And so there's a smile on her lips as she reaches for him, fingers finding his arm--

(She wants, she realizes, to tangle them in his hair.)

--and shaking him gently.

That's right. She found him. No... he found himself, really. She was just there to support him in doing so. And she learned things too. About him, about herself. About their past.

She knows that when he wakes up, his eyes will look the same. But will the expression behind them be different?

"Cloud...?"

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Cloud is normally a light sleeper, quick to stir at even the slightest little noise, but after going through such a significant ordeal, he now sleeps so heavily that it takes both her shaking him and calling his name in order to successfully rouse him from his deep slumber.

His eyes slowly blink open and he softly groans, lifting his head from off the pillow and peering blearily around for a few seconds until his finally gaze lands on her. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he looks at her -- really looks at her -- in what feels like the first time since she found him at the train station in Midgar.

"Tifa."

The smile... Oh. She was not expecting to see that. Her fingers pull back, half out of habit and half because if she leaves them close to him, there's a very real possibility that she'll grab him and never let go again.

There's warmth in his gaze that she doesn't think she's seen in years. It's easy to answer him with a smile of her own, an expression warm and joyful and relieved all at once.

"You're awake," she says, her voice soft. She wonders if he'll recognize that she doesn't just mean from his sleep.

(She also wonders if she should tell the others that they're awake, they're okay. That would be the responsible thing to do, after all.

Although right now Tifa's not really sure she's in an entirely responsible mood.)

Her meaning isn't lost on him. His voice is a bit hoarse from disuse and he has to forcibly clear his throat in order to answer her out loud, along with giving a short nod of confirmation. "Yeah."

Another quick glance at their surroundings makes it clear where they are. There's no telling exactly how much time has passed since they fell into the Lifestream together, but it seems their companions had managed to find and bring them back to safety.

Cloud, at least, doesn't hasten to leave the comfort of their makeshift bed. In time, he'll certainly want to see everyone. But for right now, he's content to be selfish and extend this stolen moment alone with just the two of them.

"How do you feel?" There's an undisguised concern in both his gaze and his voice.

Tifa doesn't think she's seen a look this gentle on his face since they were just kids. That night, when he called her out to the water tower, when he was serious with determination but still soft. It's a look so unlike the Cloud she found at the train station that night much more recently, hardened from his experiences and his twisted memories.

She likes this one more.

In response to his question, she shakes her head, that smile not leaving her lips, although there's a hint of amusement to it now. "Me? I'm fine. Anyway, shouldn't I be asking you that question?" After all, they may have both experienced the same thing physically, but the mental experience that Cloud just went through is something entirely different. Tifa hadn't known it ran so deeply. She's glad it's over now.

Reaching out, she lays her hands over his. "So... how are you feeling?"

"Hm? I'm... Good, I think." He's still a little groggy but that's probably to be expected.

In the past, Cloud might have given a similar answer automatically without even thinking about it, undesiring of the scrutiny from others, and certainly unwilling to scratch beneath the surface of his carefully-built up facade. To be able to say that now and truly mean it without any sort of reservation is a new experience.

The brush of her fingers on top of his draws his attention. His hands are completely bare for once, without the usual protective barrier of his gloves. He carefully turns them over beneath hers, so that their palms are lightly touching.

"Thanks to you."

The credit he offers makes Tifa shake her head.

"No, Cloud. Thanks to you."

Her fingers curl, taking a light hold of the hand that has turned under hers. (Is it too far to push? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, it's worth the risk.)

"You did all the hard work yourself, you know." There's no lie in what she says. There would've been nothing she could do if he wasn't ready to face the truth of everything that had happened. It was his trouble to face. Just being able to be there for him was enough for her.

"I was just there to support you while you did it."

And to continue supporting him now. In anything and everything he needs.

From his perspective, she deserves more credit than she's allowing herself to accept but... It's remarkable, how much clarity he has in the moment that he was previously lacking (without even realizing it). How easy he suddenly finds it to just let go of things that, frankly, don't matter all that much in the end.

Besides, there's no need to argue with words when he knows that he can start proving himself by his actions going forward. The first of which is to not flinch away when she lightly curls their fingers together.

Such an intimate touch would have previously sent him reeling but it's a feeling of connection that he now cherishes with every fiber of his being, rather than wanting to pull away and hide from it.

"You've been doing that all along... I guess I never realized how much."

It's a relief when he doesn't pull his hand away. A relief, and just... it's nice, when the last time she remembers him being conscious - how long ago was it? she doesn't remember - she knows he definitely would have pulled away.

And so her fingers tighten slightly on his - she can't help herself - as she shakes her head again, a smile on her lips. Once more, the credit he's giving her is too much, almost to the point of it being embarrassing. For her, it's always been enough just to be with him. Somehow. Even if it hasn't been in the way she's wanted.

She's not quite sure she's ready to put that much of it into words, though.

Instead, she tells him: "I was worried about you."

His gaze lowers a bit, no longer quite meeting hers, a terrible guilt washing over him then. Of course, the strangeness of his behavior, the seeming discrepancies between what he always claimed happened and her true memory of the events, must have all taken a terrible toll on her.

It would be easy for the others to want to blame her for not voicing any of her suspicions about his mental state sooner but Cloud knows that it's not that simple. He wasn't ready to be confronted with the truth before, that much had been evident. It's actually quite a miracle that things happened exactly the way they did. Without the Lifestream swallowing them both up like that, it's more than likely that he would have never been made whole again.

While there's no way that he can make up for anything that happened in the past, Cloud's only hope going forward is that he can relieve as much of that burden as possible going forward.

"I know."

Even with his eyes failing to meet her own, Tifa can see the stricken look behind the shining mako lights. She shakes her head, a soft chuckle on her lips as she lifts her hand just enough to pat his own. His guilt is written all over him, and she doesn't want him to feel that way. There's nothing he could have done.

Sure, maybe in a few days or so, she'll allow herself to feel angry. All those years ago, he was by her side and didn't tell her. He was ashamed, he couldn't face her -- but she'd been waiting for him. From the moment he left town, Tifa's eyes had been on the news, searching for something, anything. Somewhere along the line, she fell in love with the idea of him. And he was so close...

But right now, she's not angry. Right now, she's just relieved. Cloud is back, for real. There's probably still a lot to work on, to figure out... but he's back.

Tifa turns on the bedding so that she can face him more directly, reaching up to take his other hand in hers now too. "Hey. If you ever wanna talk about... you know, why it happened? With your memory? I'm here." She may know what was wrong with him, now, but she's still in the dark as to why it happened in the first place.

Through space and time the path unwinds | @emosey

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