let's be clear I'll trust no one | @dawnbreaked

[vergeltung]

[ The last few days have been difficult.

Where a night of lost sleep should have been easily made up by her body the following night, she instead finds herself staring into the darkness for hours, twisting and turning as her body struggles to adjust to any sort of temperature, finding it too hot with her blanket over her and too cold without it. The next night is more of the same, and by the third day after the trip she took up Dragonspine, the knowledge has spread throughout most of the Knights that the Captain of the Reconnaissance Company should be avoided at all costs on account of her bear of a mood making her even more frightening than usual.

It isn't helpful that on top of the sleeplessness, Eula is dealing with the constant urge to stop by the Angel's Share or the Dawn Winery. This is of course despite the fact that she knows in her heart how terrible an idea it would be. While it's true that the night she shared with Diluc Ragnvindr on the mountain was nothing short of amazing, she's also afraid stubborn smart enough to recognize that even with the sweetness of his intent and the passion in his actions, they were very much drawn together by the cold itself, by the physical need to keep close; without it, the fire in his eyes has likely faded.

After all, he may not hate her for it, but she's still a Lawrence, still someone whose tainted blood marks her as a traitor to Mondstadt. She's also a Captain of the very company of Knights he left a long time ago, her path driven in opposition to his. There's little about her on which she imagines he would want to spend his time.

(Deep down, though, she wants all these things to be wrong; she wants him to want her despite the lack of force closeness, wonders if he's struggling with sleep as much as she is, asks herself over and over if there's any way possible he could have truly meant any of it beyond convincing himself it was something more than it really was. And perhaps that's why she can't sleep: she's sick with want, with hope, making herself crazy over something she knows she can never have.)

The wall of ice, it seems, has not only rebuilt itself in her absence from him, but bolstered itself into something stronger. Not even Amber seems to be able to get through to her.

Despite everything, though, his promise echoes in her head. If nothing else, she does believe that he'll chase her down— even if it's out of honor. It's the last thing either of them needs, especially when it will draw attention to their correspondence in some way when they've already promised not to tell anyone about anything that happened up on Dragonspine. And so it's for that reason— and that reason only, she tells herself— that she goes to the Angel's Share on the night of the third day, walking in the door a short time before close.

She doesn't look at the patrons— nor does she look at the bartender, not really— but she knows they see her, if only from the way some conversations stop, and others start, and she feels eyes burning into her back.

Eula keeps her head as high as she dares, and orders something strong. ]