dawnbreaked: (pic#16035737)
π’Ÿπ’Ύπ“π“Šπ’Έ ℛ𝒢𝑔𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓇 ([personal profile] dawnbreaked) wrote in [community profile] sempiternals 2023-01-14 04:13 pm (UTC)

(There is something that he thinks he can come to the conclusion of involving his thoughts attempting to deter him from further following what would make him human again. What would make him be a person instead of the broken shell of a man pretending that he's fine, that he'll survive, and that he'll quite truthfully be capable of living even as his body gets further destroyed the more he pushes. The more he found himself driving his heart away with each passing day before. Diluc survived recklessly until this moment where he told her the small truth of his thoughts. Something he's certain many would be shocked by, really that many would be horrified by that someone like him sought to near destroy himself in such ways yet now it's not the case.

Maybe something underlying his feelings that went beyond like, something deeper, something he wants to say so badly but finds the words failing him on this tongue just as he idly wonders how to tell her eventually. A thing that even he can find scary but is choosing to hold strong for her sake due to not wanting her afraid more than she may perhaps be.

The conclusion he came to near makes him wonder what the Archons are doing more to him. If it's beyond like, beyond something like hate, there's only one thing. Love. He's in love. With heartstrings plucked about the feeling as if daring to believe he can deserve such a notion, logic would say he stops this before it develops further but that is far too late for him. No. Stopping this was impossible from the start is what he thinks now, what Diluc believes whenever he gathers his thoughts enough to direct away from his inner voices telling him to not give her his heart.)


... maybe if this was like one of Jean's romance novels this would be the part I confess something deeper. Though I'd hate to be that clichΓ© telling you. (Maybe he can admit that much despite throwing his childhood friend under the bus with her like of such tales though unintentionally. As well as unintentionally giving her ammo against the Acting Grandmaster without thinking about it briefly.) Though I could if you want me to. At least about some of the things I realized. (Maybe a hint to the conclusion he came to but he won't fully tell her that he thinks perhaps he fell in love with her until she's ready.

She deserves a chance for it to be more appropriate, a time for it to be where they're both able to be simply themselves instead of what they make themselves into. A time where she's not emotionally wanting to fall apart as he lays there holding strong for her heart to not crumble more with her kisses against the space between his nape and shoulder.)


I also don't doubt that... as part of what I said I realized, I wanted to see you. (This isn't easy to say, by his tone, shaky but firm even as he looks at her but it's the biggest part of what he wanted to say.)

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