[ It's with her head pressed into her hand that it occurs to Kokomi for the first time: the reason she's struggling with this so much is that she hasn't slowed down to examine it from all angles, to understand the situation the way she would in any other case— she is a strategist, after all; why should she not use her skills to choose her best course of action in this as she would in all else?
So she chooses a fresh tome from the collections around her and works against the migraine, drafting out page after page of possibility—
He has feelings for me — My feelings are genuine He has feelings for me — My feelings are not genuine He has feelings for me — I cannot understand my own His feelings are for another — My feelings are genuine His feelings are for another — My feelings are not genuine His feelings are for another — I cannot understand my own
—each with subheadings and entries examining further intricacies of the situation, such as his devotion to her as her General, the difficulties of their having their respective positions, their shared inexperience with relationships, and any others of which she can conceive.
The hours pass, and Kokomi barely even notices, but even at the end of it all she has a collection on the page of problems, all with no solutions. With so many possible outcomes, is she really supposed to take the leap like Ms. Hina suggested? So many of the stratagems on the page seem to result in worse outcomes than if she simply remains silent— but there's also a greater chance of happiness than the choice to remain silent, too.
Her migraine has gotten worse, and with no awareness of the fact that the sun is high above the island now, she deduces that a nap surely will not hurt things. Maybe, as naps often do, it will offer her some clarity for when she awakes once more.
And so she lowers her head onto the table, letting her eyes close and slipping almost immediately into a deep slumber, not stirring when her hand shifts and knocks the notebook onto the ground, open to one of the many pages full of her attempts to strategize emotion. ]
no subject
So she chooses a fresh tome from the collections around her and works against the migraine, drafting out page after page of possibility—
—each with subheadings and entries examining further intricacies of the situation, such as his devotion to her as her General, the difficulties of their having their respective positions, their shared inexperience with relationships, and any others of which she can conceive.
The hours pass, and Kokomi barely even notices, but even at the end of it all she has a collection on the page of problems, all with no solutions. With so many possible outcomes, is she really supposed to take the leap like Ms. Hina suggested? So many of the stratagems on the page seem to result in worse outcomes than if she simply remains silent— but there's also a greater chance of happiness than the choice to remain silent, too.
Her migraine has gotten worse, and with no awareness of the fact that the sun is high above the island now, she deduces that a nap surely will not hurt things. Maybe, as naps often do, it will offer her some clarity for when she awakes once more.
And so she lowers her head onto the table, letting her eyes close and slipping almost immediately into a deep slumber, not stirring when her hand shifts and knocks the notebook onto the ground, open to one of the many pages full of her attempts to strategize emotion. ]