a week had gone by since kaveh had left the house with the sort of finality that demanded no doors between them be re-opened, and with that, everything in the world had gone more than slightly off-kilter. frustrating, annoying, aggravating even, that alhaitham had once been someone who'd prided himself on being so independent, so self-sufficient that he'd never need to rely on the presence or comfort of others to live his life, and his former partnerboyfriendroom-mate colleague had come along and ruined all that.
no, since he'd left, a house he'd once been content to have empty and silent before kaveh had moved in felt too big, so cavernous that his thoughts seemed to echo in reverb off the walls and back into his head as he sulked in there on his own. words on the pages of his books seemed to muddle together, blend into nonsense and fall off the paper, like even stories had lost their luster without that constant peripheral presence around to read in silence with. texts that told tales of epic adventure that wove a fairytale ending were even worse, and those books had ended up haphazardly around the floor once he'd gotten far enough through the plot to realise where it was going.
luckily, he'd made being scarce at the akademiya somewhat of a talent, one that'd he'd been leveraging far more the past few days as the quiet he once relished instead ate away at him. visual triggers around the house he'd even started to hide, things that evoked memories of the past two months and of the awful, dull ache of loss that alhaitham thought he'd gone to great lengths to close himself off to ever experiencing again.
none of it had worked, though, and even one of the akademiya's brightest couldn't devise an avoidance or coping method strong enough for the long rolls of paper he'd come across when moving all of kaveh's things back to his old room, mostly so he wouldn't have to look at them, be reminded of them. their shared study was full of the things, large architectural drafts for a wide range of structures that the blonde had worked on over the years he'd lived there - old drafts for former clients, more mundane requests for the local municipality or outer sumeru settlements, odd projects for buildings only someone with the imagination and technical prowess that a master engineer could dream up.
in the midst of carrying a large stack of them through the house, one had rolled off the top of the pile and the elastic holding it together snapped as it hit the floor, the grid paper unrolling itself as it was freed from its confines. a muttered swear of an old language under his breath, the scribe had (more carefully than he felt like) put the rest in the old bedroom before returning to pick up the errant plan.
alhaitham's not quite sure why he stopped to look at this one in particular, not after he'd set such strict rules for himself to compartmentalise all these things that weren't his, that seemed to burn him each time he laid eyes on them - but he does, and fuck, he wishes he'd listened to himself.
that's why it's currently what, five in the evening and not even the end of a normal workday and he's somehow found himself lounging on the wooden floor on the lounge, devoid of about half the things usually in it and still not quite numb enough for how much araq he'd drank over the past few hours. definitely trying, though, judging by the half full bottle in his hand and the empty one on the coffee table.
the house is unlit and it only distantly registers that someone has entered when a too-familiar voice speaks his name. briefly, alhaitham wonders if he has drunk too much if he's beginning to hallucinate, head cocking to the side from where he was resting it against the edge of the sofa only to see - well.
no subject
a week had gone by since kaveh had left the house with the sort of finality that demanded no doors between them be re-opened, and with that, everything in the world had gone more than slightly off-kilter. frustrating, annoying, aggravating even, that alhaitham had once been someone who'd prided himself on being so independent, so self-sufficient that he'd never need to rely on the presence or comfort of others to live his life, and his former
partnerboyfriendroom-matecolleague had come along and ruined all that.no, since he'd left, a house he'd once been content to have empty and silent before kaveh had moved in felt too big, so cavernous that his thoughts seemed to echo in reverb off the walls and back into his head as he sulked in there on his own. words on the pages of his books seemed to muddle together, blend into nonsense and fall off the paper, like even stories had lost their luster without that constant peripheral presence around to read in silence with. texts that told tales of epic adventure that wove a fairytale ending were even worse, and those books had ended up haphazardly around the floor once he'd gotten far enough through the plot to realise where it was going.
luckily, he'd made being scarce at the akademiya somewhat of a talent, one that'd he'd been leveraging far more the past few days as the quiet he once relished instead ate away at him. visual triggers around the house he'd even started to hide, things that evoked memories of the past two months and of the awful, dull ache of loss that alhaitham thought he'd gone to great lengths to close himself off to ever experiencing again.
none of it had worked, though, and even one of the akademiya's brightest couldn't devise an avoidance or coping method strong enough for the long rolls of paper he'd come across when moving all of kaveh's things back to his old room, mostly so he wouldn't have to look at them, be reminded of them. their shared study was full of the things, large architectural drafts for a wide range of structures that the blonde had worked on over the years he'd lived there - old drafts for former clients, more mundane requests for the local municipality or outer sumeru settlements, odd projects for buildings only someone with the imagination and technical prowess that a master engineer could dream up.
in the midst of carrying a large stack of them through the house, one had rolled off the top of the pile and the elastic holding it together snapped as it hit the floor, the grid paper unrolling itself as it was freed from its confines. a muttered swear of an old language under his breath, the scribe had (more carefully than he felt like) put the rest in the old bedroom before returning to pick up the errant plan.
alhaitham's not quite sure why he stopped to look at this one in particular, not after he'd set such strict rules for himself to compartmentalise all these things that weren't his, that seemed to burn him each time he laid eyes on them - but he does, and fuck, he wishes he'd listened to himself.
that's why it's currently what, five in the evening and not even the end of a normal workday and he's somehow found himself lounging on the wooden floor on the lounge, devoid of about half the things usually in it and still not quite numb enough for how much araq he'd drank over the past few hours. definitely trying, though, judging by the half full bottle in his hand and the empty one on the coffee table.
the house is unlit and it only distantly registers that someone has entered when a too-familiar voice speaks his name. briefly, alhaitham wonders if he has drunk too much if he's beginning to hallucinate, head cocking to the side from where he was resting it against the edge of the sofa only to see - well.
of course that was who it was. ]
What're you doing here?