sempiternals | Time passed, and the world changed

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Time passed, and the world changed | @silentnarration

After their defeat of Ultimecia, the students of Balamb Garden and their comrades were hailed as heroes. Their world returned to normal, the people rejoiced, and things settled into a relative kind of peace. For a while, they even stayed that way. But as time passed, the world changed again. People on the streets looked at her with doubt, shadows of suspicion clouding their gazes. She wasn't a SeeD like the others, she was a witch. Rinoa was still learning the extent of her magic, but she didn't need it to know what they thought of her. She was different, she was wrong. She was something to be feared.

It didn't help that Squall and the others were so busy working to repair diplomatic relationships in the aftermath of the war. They all had responsibilities to manage, and when she wasn't training with Edea, Rinoa started to feel on the cusp once again. Their world was so big, and sometimes she felt like she had no real place in it. Apart, of course, from her places as the witch, or the daughter of president-elect Caraway.

Neither is something that really wins her much favor in the eyes of the public.

When the battle ended, Cid offered Rinoa and Irvine both honorary titles as SeeDs. He accepted; she did not. It was a matter of pride for Rinoa, a stubborn mental block; if she was going to have yet another title, it was going to be a title she earns, one she can wear with pride. Plus, she didn't want people saying she was given a free ride to the top due to her relationship with the Commander. And so, she convinced the former Headmaster to allow her to enroll as a cadet, a student of Balamb Garden.

The only problem: she isn't a soldier, not really. Rinoa has always had her own way of doing things, and it isn't easy for her to fall in line and salute. Not to mention that, having seen what Guardian Forces had done to the memories of her friends, she refused from the start to utilize them, preferring to rely instead on her natural - but new, and not always perfect - aptitude for magic. She is a force to be reckoned with during training exercises, but never for the right reasons.

Her instructors are patient with her, understanding, but none of that matters on days when the Commander comes down to observe the cadets in action. Days like today. And of course, it is just her luck that the man in question happens to emerge onto the field at the very moment she lands back on the ground, her wings - a telltale sign of her magic use - folding back into the aether.

Whoops...

Suddenly anxious, Rinoa smooths down her hair, her uniform's yellow tie, her skirt, steadying her weapon on her arm as if that will somehow trick him into thinking it was responsible for the blasts of fire and ice that left her opponent dazed and a little singed. And then, awkward and shaky, she joins the rest of the cadets as they greet Squall with a salute.

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It's disturbing how easily he fell into step with his new role at Garden. He never wanted to be Commander but he doesn't know how not to be Commander, or SeeD, or anything else. And as much as he pretends not to be, he feels responsible for everyone within Garden. So once he recovers from the Void - the truth of what happened after he lost consciousness little more than his own guesswork - and the celebratory party was held, he stepped right back into the fray.

And being Commander in the aftermath of a war is something he wishes not to experience again. He threw himself into it of course but it came at a cost of not spending as much time with Rinoa as he wanted. It helps that she had her own matters to attend to - being the presently-known most powerful sorceress in the world - but it nags at him some days. When he has a moment to breathe between all the going-ons of rebuilding Garden's structure, political going-ons (what is he going to do with Xu and Quistis?), and helping where Garden is needed.

It does make the down times more precious, especially the down times he gets to spend with the others and if they're both lucky, only he and Rinoa both.

Still, little of that matters when she's a SeeD cadet who just broke their agreed upon rules of engagement. Rinoa may have been inexperienced then but compared to the new cadets, she has the most combat experience. He really would rather not get another lecture from Kadowaki for record-breaking numbers of injured students.

He's stoic and quiet as he's saluted, nodding in acknowledgement and waving them off with a hand. He actually brought his gunblade with him today - the brilliant blue of Lionheart a stark contrast to his uniform.

"Keep practicing," he says, ignoring the admiring looks he's getting as he turns to Rinoa. "Come with me." All business. Not even a hint of what he might be thinking as he walks towards the far corner away from everyone else (who are probably trying to listen in anyway). Worse yet, he's quiet for a good while once she gets there, watching her expectantly.

Squall may be wearing a mask of business, he may not tell her what he's thinking in this moment, but it's written all over him just like it always is. If the situation was any less serious, she'd definitely be teasing him right about now, but she's in trouble as it is and she really doesn't want to make it any worse. And so she follows obediently, not particularly liking that they're still mostly in earshot of the other cadets... but that's part of all this, isn't it? She's a student, learning among other students, and that means that scoldings are generally public.

Still, that doesn't make it sting any less when it's Squall who's the one doing the scolding, whether she deserves it or not. And it's hard to look at him when he watches her like this; it makes her want to pout, and stomp, childish responses that she's tried hard to put behind her. Her gaze drops, her fingers coming up to toy with the yellow tie of her uniform.

She knows though that he's waiting for her to speak, and she sighs. "I'm sorry," she says, her voice soft, almost placating. "It was an accident."

And it's true. It was an accident. But it was an accident that Rinoa should have known to avoid. Her magic is still new, still unpredictable; she's already been told more than once that until she can handle it better, she should avoid using it in training exercises. Never mind that it feels natural, like whistling for Angelo or waving or even smiling. It's off-limits.

It's frustrating.

"I know I'm not meant to use my powers... but sometimes it just happens." She looks back up at him, a small frown creasing her brows. "I'm really trying, Sq-- Commander."

Edited 2020-01-16 16:17 (UTC)

He levels his stern gaze at her for a moment longer before shutting them with a sigh. He knows. Of course he does. Sometimes he thinks he can feel her frustrations though he's never quite sure if it's their bond. They haven't quite had time to work on that either, have they. What exactly it all entails, especially with Ultimecia proving that knights can be mind controlled to an extent. (Another fun gossip he has to waste time quelling.)

His gaze softens when he looks at her again, hoping he can convey some of that understanding before he slips back into commander mode.

"You know better than the other cadets what accidents mean in real combat. You have to do better." He gestures a hand towards the peanut gallery, shooting them a side gaze. "They look up to you."

It's not a lie. She's smart, talented, beautiful, the commander's girlfriend, savior of the world. A cadet with actual combat experience.

"Set a better example."

He hates that he has to present this front in public. He wouldn't mind doing this to anyone else but this is Rinoa. She's still his girlfriend at the end of the day.

He's never been that hard to read, not even on that first night at the SeeD graduation party, when she dragged him out onto the dance floor while she searched the room for Cid. There were hundreds of other students in the room that night, and yet he'd been the one to capture her attention. They've come so far since then - the deliberate softening of his gaze as he regards her in silence for a moment shows that to be true - but even without it, Rinoa likes to think she would know the truth of his heart.

She does, however, have to fight off the smile that so naturally wants to answer that look of his.

His words take care of that quite quickly, though, the frown deepening as she nods. He's right, of course he is. An accident like the one she just caused... it's one thing in a training session, but on the field? Even a small mistake can divert resources from where they're most needed. It could cost them soldiers. Friends.

Rinoa nods, her gaze lowered a moment more before she looks back to meet his eyes with hers. There's determination burning behind the brown irises, although it's mixed with a tinge of something softer, sadder.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I'll do better."

God, seeing any kind of sadness in her eyes gives him the urge to step close and hug her. It's a bizarre feeling that's not like him at all, or at least, not the him that he tries to present himself to be.

He cares more than he ever wants to let on or admit.

Thankfully the eyes of everyone else on them helps him push the urge back for now, though he does raise his hand to rub at his temple briefly. How is he supposed to date and train his girlfriend at the same time, seriously?

A faint sigh and he lifts his head again, straightening and squaring his shoulders in his typical manner for dismissal.

"Good. I know you can do it." Here, his tone drops from the commander's tone once more. "I'll be joining you and Edea later." They can talk there. Away from prying eyes. Matron has an eye for helping them find some alone time together while she does her best to guide their bond and grow Rinoa's power.

There's that brief crease of his brows, when he rubs his hand at his temple, and Rinoa finds herself hiding a smile behind her hand, because this time she's not able to fight it off. Even if he can't say it - and even if there's some things he doesn't want to say - she understands. And right now, all she wants to do is step forward and hug him, or at the very least take his hands in hers, promise him it's going to be okay. She knows it's stressful for him.

But right now they're Commander and cadet, not boyfriend and girlfriend. (And the other cadets are watching them none-too-subtly.) So instead, she salutes him once more as he squares his shoulders and dismisses her. "Yes, sir.

"I look forward to it," she adds, her own tone lower and softer in reply. Training with Edea is something she enjoys regardless, but when Squall is able to be there too... It's like she has everything she needs, in those moments. It helps that Edea is a wonderful mentor not just for her magic use, but for the two of them together, too.

Her hand falling from the salute, Rinoa moves back to join the other cadets. The mortified embarrassment is gone - for now, at least.

How much he cares is a well known secret at this point at least, particularly among the gang and those who saw them plenty during their adventure. He can't help but smile still, catching on to the tone. Having Edea present has been great. It's embarrassing and weird to have an adult (multiple adults even) want to meddle in his life after being left to his own devices for so long, but it's not... unwanted. Unless it's from a certain president in Esthar.

He watches Rinoa return to her class, then shoots a sharp look at the ones who are still staring. Enough to send them scrambling. He'll probably never get tired of being able to do that.

He turns away to hide his smirk. He has a few hours to kill and a lot of other areas to check in on, but he'll be there on time. He always is even when he cuts it close. Arriving in a more casual outfit (less leather but still a jacket and wearing slightly too many belts).

The rest of the training goes by quickly enough (it usually does when she's got time with Squall to look forward to), and Rinoa thankfully manages to avoid any further mishaps with her powers. (It's kind of unfair, she thinks, how Squall manages to walk in on training just when she messes up, and yet manages to not show up all the times that she gets stuff right!)

A quick shower and a change of clothes later, Rinoa's hurrying out of Garden to the local field where she practices her magic with Edea. Unlike her ever-punctual boyfriend, she's a little late; the shower was just too warm and healing on muscles that ached after training. Going from training to another training is definitely not something that gets easier with practice!

She's halfway down the stairs to the outer gate, an apology already on her lips, when her mind echoes with a message from Edea, and a smile comes unbidden to her lips.

"Edea's going to be a little late," she says a few minutes later, her hand resting on Squall's forearm as she reaches him. "So we have some time."

Sometimes, Rinoa thinks there are powers Edea hasn't taught her about. She always seems to know just when the young couple could use a little extra time alone...

He's sitting cross-legged on the grass, fingers picking idly at the blades while he enjoys the light breeze. Moments like these are few and farther apart now. It feels like so long ago that he always tried to keep away from everyone. Now he can barely find time for himself.

He looks up, already smiling before her words even reaches him. He lifts his arm for her to touch easier while his other comes around to welcome her to join him. It's easier to relax like this, when he doesn't have to put up a front for everyone else. (When did being sour become a front? Or was it always one?)

It's like he can feel her good mood before he knows why. Edea did say that's part of the bond sometimes.

"That explains it. She's usually here early."

Even he can tell matron is trying to give them time alone. His eyes are looking her over for any signs of injury. A habit he doesn't remember when it started.

"Training went well?"

The look-over does not go unnoticed - in fact it brings a fresh smile to her lips. Even now, when he knows she habitually thrashes the other trainees (something for which she genuinely is sorry!), he still looks out for her, still checks to be sure that she's unharmed.

It's not that he's ever not protected her. He's been there for her from the start. It's just that nowadays, he's more open about it. Perhaps... less afraid to show his true feelings. (At least around her, anyway.)

Still smiling, Rinoa sits, tucks herself into Squall's side, quite content to make herself comfortable against him on the grass. Sometimes the moments they get are farther between than Rinoa would like. But when it's like this, just the two of them, she can't bring herself to mind too much. They're busy, but they're working hard to create a better future for everyone, including themselves. That's what's most important. Even if it makes it a little tough sometimes.

"Training went well," she confirms with a nod. "No more magic incidents.

"How's your day been, Squall?"

Someday, Rinoa thinks, she'd like to be able to ask him that question from behind the kitchen stove while she's busy preparing dinner for him. Maybe even...

Her cheeks color at the thought, and she tucks herself in a little closer, rerouting her train of thought back to the conversation. "You seemed like you were under a lot of stress, before."

Edited 2020-05-23 11:41 (UTC)

He reaches for her hand once she's settled next to him and just holds it, relishing the closeness. A moment that still feels surreal and ethereal sometimes, considering everything they went through to get here.

He can't help the little smirk at her confirmation. He's heard about how she trashes the other trainees. It's no surprise. Even untrained, she had kept up with Squall and the others on their journey. She's a veteran, just not in name.

He gets a faint sense of embarrassment from her but doesn't understand why so she just gets a curious look while he ponders the question. Does he burden her with the things he's dealing with? Things he's not so sure he should be qualified to deal with.

He shakes his head slowly.

"Politics. Galbadia wants to send a message to Esthar through us."

It makes Rinoa happy to see just how far Squall has come in the time she's known him. The way he seeks her hand and holds it... it's something he never would have dreamed of doing when they first met. A smile find her lips, her fingers twining through his as she leans into him, enjoying a closeness that they don't have anywhere near enough time to share, nowadays.

The sorceress-knight bond between them is something special - even without looking at him, she feels his pride in her and the curiosity at her slight embarrassment; she's certainly not about to address the latter, though. He might've come a long way, but somehow she thinks the idea of domesticity might still manage to scare him off.

(Rinoa's come a long way too, from the girl who selfishly said what she wanted without thinking about how it might affect him.)

His words make her frown, and she tilts her head up to look at him, trying to get a read on how he feels about it. For once, she can't see through him - and that on its own is concerning. Her fingers tighten around his. "What kind of message?" If it's coming from Galbadia - from that man - it can't be good. Right?

The idea of domesticity would definitely put his brain into hyper-overdrive for the next few weeks if anything. Not that he wouldn't want that sort of thing but 'normal' is still foreign and scary to think about.

He closes his hand firmly over hers, pressing their hands tighter together. He doesn't want to burden her like this. Not when they all have more than enough to worry about, but it's only fair that she knows. It would come back to her eventually.

"They want a team of SeeDs to infiltrate the Sorceress Memorial. By their intel, Esthar is hiding a secret none of us know about. If we accept, a SeeD from Galbadia Garden will also join the team."

It's not a lot to go on but the implications are enough to be alarming. Is Esthar hiding a darker secret about sorceresses? Would this be considered an act of war facilitated through the neutral mercenaries of Balamb? Is this an attempt to weaken the (admittedly rather weak) familial alliance between Laguna and Squall? Or an attempt to get more information on how to capture Rinoa...

He's been cycling through the possibilities since the arrival of the request that it's giving him a headache.

And just like that, all thoughts of domesticity are chased out of her head. A chill running down her spine and a horrible, churning sickness in her stomach take their place. With the way their bond seems to work now, he'll probably be able to read the fear in her eyes as easily and completely as she's always been able to read him. Her fingers tighten in his once more, her knuckles white.

What if there's some kind of secret that makes them want to lock her up again? It's a singular thought that goes through her mind over and over again, no matter how hard she tries to silence it.

"If... if there was some kind of secret..." about me "...Laguna would tell you, wouldn't he?"

A little while ago, she would have really believed that, too. But she's not that same idealistic little girl anymore. Instead, even as she says it, it's said more with desperate hope than actual real belief. If there's anything she's learned, being the girlfriend of the Commander of Balamb Garden, it's that politics are terrifying. Much moreso than she ever realized growing up in the house of that man.

She shakes her head, trying to blink away tears that are trying to form at their corners. "What are your options, Squall?"

He doesn't know what he felt first, her fear through their bond or the look in her eyes. His arm moves on its own accord, around her shoulder to draw her in closer and let her tuck her head against him if she wants.

"Yeah," he reassures. What he doesn't say is he's pretty sure if someone wanted to keep things from Laguna, they could. Laguna had helped placate the other Estharians who were advocating locking Rinoa away once more when their first attempt failed, but it didn't mean they won't be looking to try again. And if they succeeded this time...

He shifts his hand away from her shoulder to clench it into a fist.

No, that's not going to happen. He won't let it.

He sounds a bit tense when he speaks again.

"I refuse and they send their own team." Which could spark another war between Esthar and Galbadia. "Or I accept the mission and deal with whatever we find." And hope nothing there is planted evidence that will make things worse for everyone. There's a pause and a sigh before he continues. "...Or I tell Laguna what's going on."

The last one is the only real option here. For all that Squall still thinks his father an idiot, the man has his moment of brilliance. And as much as he hates the thought of leaving any part of their fate to adults again, political warfare is one he's never going to be better at with his current level of experience.

It's with a tired smile that Rinoa follows the movement, her head finding space easily against his shoulder, her eyes closing as she tries to follow logical thought through the worry and fear. Despite his reassurance, his careful avoidance of his own concerns, the words that follow are on their own enough to fill her in. After all, if Laguna wasn't being somehow kept in the dark, Squall wouldn't have any need to tell him, right?

And from the reluctance in his voice, she can guess it's the option he's already leaning toward, as much as the idea bothers him.

She takes a deep breath to still the welling tears, straightening even though she only just allowed herself to rest on him, meeting his eyes as she nods. "It's the best thing to do, isn't it?" She doesn't clarify, doesn't explain which of the options she's commenting on; she's sure that he'll understand her just as easily as she did him.

The best thing to do. Because the alternative is something she doesn't want to think about. She might be treated well in Balamb and its Garden, but setting foot outside of either is risky. Even in Timber, passersby watch her with suspicion. She was hoping that training as a SeeD would help quell some of the distrust, but if they find something else that vilifies her even further...

She shakes her head out of those thoughts, trying to keep the strength on her face. Squall's already dealing with so much; she doesn't want him to have to worry too much about her on top of that.

It's a tall ask--not worrying about her.

He finds himself resting a hand against the side of her face, nodding.

"Yeah." It's the only option, really. He'll do it. For her. Because he promised. Because he's her knight. Because he loves her.

"It could be nothing, but whatever happens, I'll keep you safe." Just as he's done so many times before. If it's a choice between her and the rest of the world, it's hardly a choice at all.

She smiles, something small and relieved, her head tilting into the touch at the side of her face, her hand drifting to cover Squall's in turn. It's true that she doesn't necessarily want him to worry, and yet it's always nice when he does, when she feels the flare of his protectiveness. He's her boyfriend, her knight; just by being here, he brings comfort and peace.

"I know you will. But..."

Rinoa closes her eyes, leaning a little closer into him.

"I wanna help, too. What can I do?"

It's strange that it can be so simple—just being there was enough to be a comfort. Just like Matron said she found with Cid as her knight.

He can't help but smile at her reply. Of course Rinoa wants to do something. That's what caused them to butt heads to begin with. He's silent as he considers their options.

"Come with me to Esthar."

If something's going to be revealed about sorceresses, it's only right that Rinoa gets to be there to say her piece.

To Esthar. The idea fills her with some anxiety; after all, the last time she was in Esthar, they nearly took her away from him. But after asking him to let her help, she can't exactly just back out, can she? Plus... she really does want to help. If there is something about Sorceresses - about her - she wants to be a part of it.

And so Rinoa nods, her fingers pressing between his.

"Okay. We'll go to Esthar, and figure it out. Together. Right?"

"Together," he echoes, fondly brushing the tips of his finger against her hair.

"I won't let them take you away, Rinoa." Then, quieter. "So just stay close to me."

He remembers her being so excited when he said those words again at the orphanage, even though he doesn't remember the first time he said it to her. He's no where near the romantic boyfriend on the best of days but he's earnest with his attempts sometimes.

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Time passed, and the world changed | @silentnarration

/dusts off post with a tl;dr (hi I'm finally here u_u)

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Please don't worry about this tag if it's been too long. Motivation has been down.

it's totally okay. I hope you're feeling better. ♥

Definitely better! Though I think there's a vampire eating my rp energy :|

I know the feeling. Now it's my turn to be behind...

yeah this sure is a thing... but hello!

hello! it's funny how I'm being the slow one a lot now...

this is a competition no one wins....

Honestly! Although I think I'm finally starting to drag myself back into gear.

welcome back!!

thank you ♥

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revives \o\

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