vergeltung: (013)
𝐄𝐮𝐥𝐚 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ([personal profile] vergeltung) wrote in [community profile] sempiternals2023-01-07 10:13 pm

softer than rain, harder than pain | @dawnbreaked

[ Trusting him was a mistake.

It was easier when she was a free agent, not having to worry about anyone else, focusing only on what she needed, what her company needed, working on a professional and not personal level, keeping her distance from others and letting them keep their distance from her.

It was lonely, but it was easier.

As a free agent, for example, she never would have been pacing the kitchen of the Dawn Winery with clenched fists and burning eyes, trying not to just snap and break something while Diluc's staff tend to him behind closed doors, caring for him through an unconsciousness going on at least a few hours now. She wouldn't be trembling with the cold horror of her Vision's resonance, nor dealing with tears she's unable to hide, sparkling as they are like diamonds frosted to her eyelashes. It wouldn't have been her for whom Kaeya came running, grave anxiety written over his face, tears of his own evident in the redness of his eyes and cheeks despite his attempts to hide them; she wouldn't have even known this was happening—

Somehow the thought does nothing to ease her churning, angry stomach. Eula closes her eyes and cups a hand over her mouth, convinced for a moment she's going to vomit. The free hand waves away whatever staff member it is who's trying to comfort her— she doesn't know these people, not enough for this— before coming to rest on the counter in front of her. She can feel the anxiety trembling through her skin where it contacts the furniture.

I swear, Ragnvindr, she thinks, a tight hold on the counter as if that will somehow make it better, if you get through this I'm going to kill you myself.

...

He'd better get through this. ]
dawnbreaked: (pic#16033642)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-04 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
... I think so.

(Burning, he's burning and he can feel it eating at him more, more and more as the feeling of his body aches in a desire to burn them both into pieces. Burn away everything, their thoughts, their bodies, their hearts with him trying so very hard to not bend in the fact he needs so desperately her. Her touch, her lips, their bodies melting after this long wait that they both had to suffer through whenever he wanted more of her to the point he considers it a feat he didn't break earlier.

With the way he spoke it's far too late for them to stop. His need and his desperate want of the person who almost feels as if she completes him more than he would have once known before is so strong. Even if he can't reheat the food with it retaining it's flavor he'll consider it enough of a success that she enjoyed it down to the Samosa's since he did want to show off for a change.

Before they broke apart like this into pieces since he's withholding just a little longer, he's so very close to her and the alcohol making him looser isn't helping much either with the urge he has to just lean in and break apart the remaining wall.

That is until he gives up on holding back with the intensity of his need hitting strongly enough that aching fire in him that needed her grew so loud that he could no longer find his restraint as capable of holding himself back. In that moment he cracks, he leans in and kisses her, hard at that yet so filled with fire it's likely going to be a wonder he's not breathing it.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16062168)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-05 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
... could we even make it to my bed? (Good question is something that is hitting him, really he didn't care where they were as much as he had thoughts of taking her in his lap like this. Her pulling him close like this isn't helping either with his thoughts, through a mutual feeling of how much he missed her, had in fact needed her so badly that it was destroying him. If she says they couldn't then his option B is going to be the chair like this or against the wall on the way there.

Archons, even against his bedroom door is fine by him as long as it's her. The alcohol on her lips gives him a further sensation of feeling inebriated too. He's already against her in all the right ways by now and knows good and well she can feel how ready he is. The food comment can wait more though he knows she can easily drag him by his tie wherever she pleases given there's not a single complaint about it on his mind.

Just an urge to have her and to give her wordlessly those feelings again that were so strongly burning.

Even that didn't feel like enough, it never would feel like enough whether it be by words or their bodies. It's enough to make him wonder if this was how his father once felt with his mother but that's not a thought for this moment, he didn't need to be thinking more of that when she needs him most. That's something for when their want, their need is sated.)


I don't think I care much... where we wind up at. (Murmuring the words into their kiss, her lips aside, he found it best to voice that while he still could knowing he's so close to breaking still.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-05 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
(It's the thought that counts. Since not even he was wanting to use a kitchen chair knowing that he's at a point that if they wound up breaking it and on the floor he'd have rather them not there. So trying to reach the bed and winding up against the wall, door, wherever? That's fine as a trade off once he gets pulled into following her though the heat leaving him is worsening with each step; that craving he has growing and his eyes darkening further with his own hunger.

Barely restrained heat, intense want and need that's flaring so badly once she takes hold of his tie, his dress shirt again and dragging him up against her. Their hips were rocking together now, his arousal throbbing at this point with an ache he didn't think possible. That heat he felt was at a point the fire in him finds itself seeking her so desperately once he kisses her hard again, so very hard and fire filled.

He didn't know where to start, it already felt as if his hips were mindlessly following her rhythm knowing how much he's wanted this with her. It's hard to think, hard to pull away, hard to get his hands to do anything but taking hold of her thighs to get his belt undone and trousers down just enough for this. Gods he can't believe he's lost himself this much already.)


Can't... stop... (The words though breathlessly gasped out in between kisses were husky, raw, wanting and hungry even. He'll try to move after like she suggested, right now this is overloading his senses already.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039638)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-05 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
(As hazed as his mind is, he does find himself in that time apart looking curiously about what she wore this time once he spots the black thong she had on beneath the dress. His hips rutting did pause enough to make this easier but gods that was harder than he'd like to admit to do.) ... thong this time? (He can get out that much after some thought. Compliments might be a little too far-fetched but he can try that maybe a little even if his arousal is making this harder. It being freed just adds on to it given the ache is much more noticeable.

Diluc himself is by no means amazing at 'dirty talk', as he's realized before that's more Kaeya's show. Yet it isn't as if he can't help the imagery in his mind of her in them. Honestly that flame that's been ignited seems pleased at the thought by how his eyes look since he doesn't have the mental capacity to speak out everything as much as he'd like.

Maybe he even would tried but the thought goes back out the window once her mouth is back on his, thinking going out the window with his own lips back at it hard with hers once one of his hands finds it's way on the leg she coils around him. With their hips rutting together, almost mindlessly, he shouldn't keep her waiting too long anyway.

Length in his other hand, he soon enough lines up with her core and pushes onward, to the hilt and deep. There's almost a sigh of relief in their kiss from his part from how much he needed her in that time frame, even with his mind being in a haze to a degree he manages to mutter against her lips:)
... I really did miss you. (Not just the physical part, but in general is what's unsaid there knowing words are hard.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16035740)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-07 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
(The sweltering heat from his body is strong, strong enough that were he not careful they'd both be leaving with this with more burn marks than marks left out of the unspoken emotions that the two of them have felt together. For now he's stopping it, fighting it down so that it didn't dare to interrupt them by making it harder once Diluc finds himself drawn in closer after noticing the way she even felt relieved by their reunion in a sense.

This isn't something he wants to let go of even now with his heart pounding, it felt all too similar to his first with her. Diluc rarely trusts, trust was something one had to work hard to obtain and yet he finds himself unable to help the emotions, the thoughts, and the feelings that were rising from this. He knew by now what this was he felt but it only drives it home further for him.

He's in love with her and it's so maddeningly deep that he swears she could ask him to do anything and he'd do it for her. All within some manner of reason once he finds himself at hearing her reply, melt, their bodies were close enough she'd feel the heat easing in a sense from being near positively boiling them.

All from this love he has for her.

He won't tell a soul but her those words whenever he could finally say them to their face; this silence is more than enough with their bodies saying it and answering it for them instead. After the pause, it's soon enough his work starts in earnest with his thrusts beginning again.

It's taking everything he has and more to give her all of him now without that blame searing them both into a shared hell due to it. Something that Diluc would give her time and time again regardless of his vision being an issue to some thanks to the sheer heat from his body.)
Edited (I went to double check after waking up) 2023-02-07 21:05 (UTC)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16057883)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-09 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
(Ironically that makes two of them, with how long it's been, causing him to wonder if he should slow down to savor it more. Maybe, since the thought of it being slow isn't all bad... it just would make it a lot different than simply sex as Kaeya describes it often times much to his rather large annoyance. However his mind would much rather not think about that whenever he's drawn in so closely; like neither of them wished to let go which he's almost certain is true enough given their track record.

More, more, and more. The feeling has yet to fade, to seek more of her in everything she wants to give him from their bodies to moments they both long since told themselves they shouldn't dream about to begin with. It's only now that he for the time being eases into something slower with his rhythm, the fire still there, but something more different than the heated passion that they've had.

A slow burning passion even if his heat is dizzying for the two of them; as if to greet her with something more 'appropriate' than just the heat intensely taking everything at the start from them. This time to him it feels as if he's made a return home and only seeks to take something of these moments with her slow before it consumes them further.

Whether it works or not, he's not going to be sure though the feeling of it is something else he's welcoming immensely.

He can speed up again if she wants him to, since Diluc knows he'll always want to at any time she needs.)


I'm not, tell me if it's too slow... (Because he didn't want her to think he'd stay at that pace either if she finds it too fast or slow for her liking.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16051465)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-10 07:50 am (UTC)(link)
(Slow burning passion, something that feels romantic in it's slowness even if prolonging it can be frustrating on both sides. He's close to her by now enough that emotion in his eyes he knows is love seems to peer out enough though wordlessly. The fast pace as nice as it was isn't something he wants her to think he's only after, the intimacy of this with his slow and deep rhythm is enough to make him melt more by now.

It's perfect she says, then he'll have to remember this for if they find themselves ignoring dinner to simply just lose themselves in what is their hearts singing in a way out to one another. Begging for their partner in their dance to respond though he knew how much he did need her, will always need her as this realization sinks in further.

His grunts are soft, the brief moment of air he gets from her parting soon taken away.

He can see something is in her eyes but the desperation of this kiss makes him wonder if she was trying to say more than she knew for now. Who knows, but, he does know that he can't help the way he meets her desperation with his own. His own love and desperation as his intrusive thoughts are quelled to silence. A much welcomed surprise, a much needed one. She knows his answer after all. He loves her, more than he ever would have thought.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039635)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-11 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
... that... makes two of us. (Gods. He's been teetering between it this whole time, not enough yet enough, wanting and needing yet aching in it once he finds himself speeding up just enough to not lose the more tender feeling of this pace he took up. He's so very close to the edge and not wanting to let go of her nor for her to let go of him once his heat builds into an intensity it's a wonder his clothes aren't on fire.

That can be something he worries about later, the fire in him wants out, wants out so desperately in the way he's staring at her. In the way he's up against her right as he doesn't notice how disheveled his ponytail has become, the way it's draping over them just enough with the sweat coming off his body in such a way others would be concerned at the sight.

He'll need water after this before they carry on, is his only thought, that way she didn't worry completely about him knowing his vision can raise his heat to some rather... interesting levels. Especially whenever it comes to them being joined together like this.)


... hold on to me... just like this...

(There's a tenderness in the way he says it, the way he's breathless and wanting. She'd likely want to see more of this from him is his last coherent thought on the matter, before his head goes empty with nothing more than her, only her, in how she drives him insane, how she causes him to melt away into something he thought long gone.

Something he deems will always be meant for her.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-11 07:39 am (UTC)(link)
(There's a moment of silence as his own release follows, tense muscles easing with him taking care to hold her knowing that she likely won't be anywhere near capable of moving. Then again he's not any better, having to support himself with her like this knowing that he did over do it a little with how the start went. He's quiet and breathing, catching his breath from how his panting sounds near ragged whenever she speaks at first.

There's nothing said yet but he is looking at her, wondering what it is she might wish to say before the realization creeps in. Eyes soon widening at hearing those words but not out of fear or anything in the way his cheeks soon heat up similarly to his scarlet locks; did she just... no, he knows he heard it right, here and now then? That's the surprise of it.

At first he contemplates how to answer, if he should knowing she was out of it. Not giving her an answer is worse knowing there's no running away from any of this once he kisses her, preemptively, to help first with any frightened thoughts she might get about it knowing how it just came out.

The answer she deserves, he'll meet it then:)


I love you too, Eula...

(That isn't said through the alcohol either, nor their inability to hold back from being physical, but truly something he wants to say. Wanted to tell her even.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16062165)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-11 11:00 am (UTC)(link)
Eula.

(For once he looks seriously at her, almost as if mulling over where to start with this at. First would be reminding her that he understands plans don't always stay the same given he knows his back injury is the best example of that. Feelings are a different thing even as he makes sure that she stays still instead of attempting to run again if the thought crosses her mind.

Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's not but there's something he can't deny. Not now or ever when she speaks those words. Her honesty is a rarity which is why at this point he knows better than anyone else to brush it off.)
I hate to use my injury as an example but plans can go differently with these things, feelings don't follow a blueprint so to speak which is why I'm telling you I'm not upset. It can be said once in a blue moon and I'd understand why. You don't say these things easily and I'm not going to force you despite it coming out now. (Since that's not how Diluc is as a person. He's not forceful by any means with emotions such as this and with her in general knowing that there's much more she's not use to.)

We're similar yes, but, that doesn't mean that I hold it against you. Say it whenever you wish to I said, I'd answer back with my own heart. So yes, I'll remind you of that as I said before... you don't have to speak it unless you yourself wish to, even if it did come out now. (Because he didn't want her to think that he's going to abandon her. Just for speaking it now, just for being unable to deny the feelings that they both kept quiet for her sake. After spending this long near burning himself into his death with the way he kept pressing onward; of course he's not going to run away or scold her for this.)

I won't say it again unless you wish for me to. If you want to hear me say it, then I'll answer you truthfully no matter how much you're not use to it. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone else other than Kaeya. (He can only hope these words do manage to help. Obviously he stands by not forcing her in addition to him only wanting her to know just how far it goes for him; she may have thought originally he was too bold but it's now that makes him realize he was right in two regards. He was in love with her and he always would be.

That part will of course remain quiet because she's already at a point she's dealing with anxiety flaring. It's best to not overload her with all of it for her sake. For now he finds himself wondering if he might have to calm her down more given that his priority is letting her calm down instead of them carrying on first. She does need a chance to gather herself back together.)
Edited 2023-02-11 11:01 (UTC)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039638)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-11 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
(To say it until she wants to stop running, her pleading and the way she looks at him makes him soften. Telling her until his lungs give out, until he can't say a word anymore or beyond that once he presses forehead to forehead with her at the feeling of her hands cupping his cheeks. There's a sleekness to his skin from how much he was perspiring earlier but that's nothing they mind once he decides he'll give her that answer no matter what; how could he not at seeing her pleas and the way she sounds as if it's not ever enough?)

... I love you. (All spoken before a kiss, murmured again and again between them, all given slowly yet filled with that fire he's long since been giving her. This is all so new to him but he's not backing down from telling her even now with the way he keeps kissing her, speaking it into it, holding her against him knowing they haven't parted yet.

Unless she asks him to stop, he'll keep saying it throughout the night at this rate knowing that he's loved her. Giving her every part of him is something he's long since decided on and this is just something that they both desperately need to say, to remind themselves with even now. His heart burns, but it feels at ease with her ice around it as if a reminder of its own about her feelings.

He needs her so much more than he ever has anyone before, he wants her to the point a lot of his own personal rules have been falling apart into pieces, he aches for her almost as if it'd destroy him more if they for whatever reason became separated or worse.

His lungs burn with all the confessions he makes into her lips, all the slow heated kisses he's giving with a sense of urgency and desperation to the point he didn't wish to part from her. Not for long, not now or ever.

She's the only one who could see him and make him like this.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16057884)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-13 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
(Her legs trembling despite how she arches her hips gives him enough reason to remember he should likely move with her instead of allowing her to almost fall from this. It's why his kisses pause for now, idly thinking over how to lift her up so that she didn't have to worry about stumbling the short distance to his bed, might be best to just carry her a specific way then.

After his thought given, he reaches, if she allows it, to take her into a bridal carry first knowing it'd give her the perfect angle to still be close to him while also enabling her to not worry much about falling. He'll carry her like this to his bed... or should he start saying at this rate their bed? Whatever the case, Diluc fully intends to not tell Kaeya about how their night went.

Tonight stays between them as it should now and forever with all the time they'll have; this much is certain of him once he makes his way into the bedroom with her in his arms. His heats still there, still strong, partially from arousal from everything he's giving her but more from his feelings toward her even now.)


Didn't want you to get hurt before I keep saying it...

(That thoughtfulness of his as usual once he moves to set her down on the mattress after closing the door behind him. The room looked exactly as it did that night they came there together, that night where he gave her all of him and told her truly he only wanted her.

Something which still applies now too once he slips his dress shoes off before crawling in back over Eula, for now anyway unless she wanted to take control with a murmur against her lips again:)
I love you... (All sealed with another kiss, another slow burning kiss filled to the brim with his emotions. His heart toward her even now.

He won't let go of her heart, which he hopes she realizes.)

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