[ Perhaps the worst of it all is that Kaveh knows, logically, that all the things Alhaitham says are true. He wouldn't willingly spend time in the company of someone with whom he did not wish to spend time. He wouldn't bother to hide disdain held for another. He never has before, why would he start now?

But it's a logic answered on the other side of his brain by the memory that his own mother was okay with leaving him behind, by the knowledge that when it comes to the other man, he's often the exception rather than the rule— Alhaitham may be willing to eject anyone else from his life without a second thought, but Kaveh knows it wouldn't be that simple for him, even if the other man was ready to move on. After all, they're inextricably entwined, not so easily parted by something as little as will—

And so how is he able to answer a question such as that?

Kaveh looks up, meeting the fixed squareness of that gaze, and this time it's the elder who finds it hard to maintain the contact between their eyes. ]

Is it really as easy as that? [ His voice is soft, serious despite the sad smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ] This is part of who I am, Alhaitham. It will get easier in time but maybe it will never fully go away—

[ And that's why it's important for them to have this discussion, to learn, to figure out what they can do to make it easier for them in the future, when their insecurities and idiosyncracies try to play them off against one another. ]

Is there anything I could have said before this happened that would have reassured you? I told you I love you, but you still had reason to doubt.

[ There's no blame in his voice. This isn't Alhaitham's fault. Nor is it his. He understands that, logically, even though that dark part of his mind wants to crowd over itself in anger and guilt, hating him for confirming the fears that the other doesn't even want to admit to having. ]