[ It's a show of courage for sure, to look directly at Alhaitham, what with the overwhelming intensity of presence the other has when his attention is focused in this way. And if it weren't for the arrogant tone in his voice, the smug upward curve at the corners of his lips, Kaveh might struggle to hold his gaze for long. As it is, though, the architect just rolls his eyes again and pulls a face at the scribe. ]
Please save all questions for the end of the lecture. [ In comparison to the face he's pulling, his tone is prim and proper, echoing any number of the Akademiya's teachers. It belies— thankfully— the way his stomach flutters stupidly at the look on the other's face before returning back to the stupid knot of anxiety it's been tied in for the past few weeks, tighter than ever at the way he's so casually spilling all the secrets he's kept close to his chest for too long now.
(Well, as close to his chest as emotional, frustrated outbursts can be... But then, he's never been good at keeping his own confidence, not really, despite his pride and reputation alike practically relying on it.) ]
Anyway, when I kissed you, I was trying to explain myself. I didn't trust my words to do it well enough without telling you everything... and like I said, I was scared that if I told you, you'd kick me out. Say it was too awkward to live with me like this. But you misunderstood, and thought I just wanted something physical. And then that morning with my darshan, I had another dream—
[ He's gotten this far in relative quiet, but it's at this point his voice finally starts to pick up volume in tune with the emotion leeching further into every word he speaks, Kaveh's gaze falling back to the abandoned coffee cup on the bar table, the liquid dregs of almost opaque black in its base. ]
I don't know what I was thinking. I was frustrated, and embarrassed, and I told myself something would be better than nothing, but I just ended up feeling rejected and miserable. So I— [ he chuckles ] I did what you said I do. I threw myself into my work. Tried to ignore it. But it just kept feeling worse and worse, and I never saw you, and... then last night happened.
This time I tried to choose someone a little more like you, you know. But he was all wrong. I know I was loud, but... I wasn't enjoying myself. [ But he knows that last night's arousal speaks to something different, leading him to clarify, cheeks redder than before: ] Not the way I did with you.
[ Kaveh pauses, and takes a single deep breath before looking back up at Alhaitham. ]
[ it's alhaitham's turn to resist rolling his eyes as he's asked to hold his questions until the end of the other's presentation, as if they were back in their classes at the akademiya. sometimes it's odd to remember that they'd known one another for so long, right through their university years and into their careers. despite their journeys diverging significantly after that... disagreement they'd had, they'd still manage to cross their paths again in a way that almost felt like it were fate (if alhaitham believed in such a ridiculous concept).
slouching slightly on the counter, elbow against it and face in his hand, the scribe still manages to listen attentively despite several urges to interject - but he does wait a much longer time than he should once kaveh finally finishes his stream of consciousness, feigning surprise after an awkwardly pregnant pause. in that measured tone of his; ]
- just making sure you didn't have any other details to add.
[ his expression was the one he often wore while in thought, considering a complex written concept or nose deep in a book. even though kaveh's cheeks were a crimson that could rival that of his own eyes right now, alhaitham on the other hand looks completely unbothered, like none of the topics discussed struck him as particularly sensitive.
(apart from, obviously, the second recounting of kaveh's fling, which as usual triggers a dull, jealous pang deep inside him. annoying.) ]
Well, this certainly explains some things, [ his index finger taps the side of his jaw as his mind sorts through the many, many loose threads the blonde had just dumped on the table. ] - though I still stand by my assertion last night that you're an idiot. To think of how much suffering you could've saved yourself if you'd simply started with this.
[ and that's halfway to an actual concern, because alhaitham hadn't seen kaveh so out of sorts as he had the past couple of weeks. it hadn't been pleasant to watch, or be part of, because he'd had the frustrating realisation that seeing the architect genuinely upset made him upset. ]
So, since I was wrong to understand you wanted a no-strings-attached physical arrangement, I suppose the next question is; what do you want?
[ the scribe asks plainly, getting straight to the point. ]
I'll admit, considering our many varied, loud differences and our history on top of that, it'd be naĂŻve not to be skeptical that something between us could work. But - [ he pauses for a moment, eyes flicking off into the distance past kaveh in thought. ] - I'd be open to testing that theory.
[ Ugh, Alhaitham is so frustrating. There's nothing worse than the way he manages to stay so utterly calm as Kaveh talks himself nearly into a frenzy, the way he waits through the awkward silence to make that snide little comment even as his expression remains thoughtful and unbothered, cheeks their usual pale shade where the architect's are practically the same burning red as the cape he wears.
And yes, he thinks, maybe he could have saved himself some grief by speaking up sooner rather than later, but that's something only hindsight can see now that he knows his confession wouldn't actually get him kicked out onto the street the way he so feared, or— perhaps even worse— shot coldly down and told there's no chance in hell of getting what he wants. He's got half a mind to tell Alhaitham that, honestly, but it's the scribe's turn to talk now, and he's continuing on to ask questions, to seek what the architect actually wants from him—
And then he says he's open to testing them out like they're some kind of hypothesis he can solve, and Kaveh's left to roll his eyes all over again. ]
I'm not here to be one of your test subjects, Alhaitham. [ It's tempting to leave it there, but the scribe did ask what he wants, and maybe last night, drunken mess Kaveh turned away from the question, but in the midst of this discussion, asked so bluntly and armed with coffee, hungover mess Kaveh sees no real option other than to face it head-on, even if it makes him horrendously uncomfortable. So he closes his eyes, huffs out a short breath, folds arms over his chest, all in all tries and fails to ground himself from the heady feelings of anxiety that tug at him. And when he continues, he's back to staring at the empty coffee cup. ]
I want to be with you. [ ...No, see? That right there is the sort of ambiguity that led them down a path of confusion last time, isn't it? He sighs, shakes his head. ] I mean, I want to date you. But only if it's what you want too.
[ His eyes drop a little further, this time to his fingers kneading anxiously at the skin of his upper thigh. It's a lot more honest than the request of the night before, but it's also far more vulnerable, opening him up to a much greater rejection. His stomach is knotted and uncomfortable. He needs more coffee. Or to be sick. Or all of the above. ]
I don't want to be a hypothesis. And I don't want to be some charity case you take out because you feel sorry for him, either.
[ quietly, alhaitham wishes he was more than one coffee deep for this conversation - but, alas.
the clarifications are intrinsically met with approval, because the last thing the scribe wanted was for them to careen down another path strewn with misinterpretation, something that would plunge them both right back into another unpleasant however-long-it'd-take to straighten it out again.
actually? there's a faint fondness in alhaitham's green eyes as kaveh does his absolute best to explain himself, all clear words, blush-stained cheeks and deft fingers toying with whatever was near to deflect some of his obvious anxiety.
he hadn't really looked at anyone like that before. well; unless they were a book. ]
Did I say you were any of those things?
[ he sighs, mildly regretting his choice of words (though not entirely, because he'd thought them rather poetic). ]
I don't suggest things mildly. Of course I don't interpret this as some sort of twisted academic endeavour - though I daresay there are enough eligible single in the Akademiya who would leap at such a thought, especially with you.
[ mm. a mild frown appears on his face, because even he knows that he's not wording this particularly well even though the intention was there. it's technically true! kaveh was beautiful, popular, charismatic, and had all but proven he had a steady stream of admirers the past week.
unfortunately, alhaitham is familiar with factual, clinical words, not flowery sonnets or romantic language that'd make a person weak at the knees.
with a quiet huff laced with frustration (at himself); ]
Perhaps my skepticism stems from being unsure I can provide you with what you - [ want? no, come on, ] - deserve.
[ maybe for the first time ever, the scribe looks dimly uncomfortable with such vulnerable language. he doesn't admit fault. he doesn't talk about these sorts of feelings. it's like a sword that's too heavy; a novel that's too short. ]
However - that doesn't mean that I wouldn't rise to the challenge. If what you need to hear is, 'I want to date you', then, I want to date you. That's no guarantee us dating would be conventional, but then, neither of us really are.
[ It's Kaveh's turn to look thoughtful, his eyes drifting little by little back to Alhaitham, the concern tying his stomach in knots thankfully taking a backseat to the momentary concern he feels at the way the scribe seems to be having trouble with his words— perhaps for the very first time in the entire time the architect has known him. Considering the topic of their conversation, it shouldn't be too shocking, but somehow Kaveh finds himself surprised all the same, if only because he's never seen the other man quite like this before.
It helps ease his own discomfort, giving him the wherewithal to pull his gaze fully back to Alhaitham's face just in time to hear words that make his heart skip a metaphorical beat or two, to see the scribe's face shift into something almost reminiscent of uncomfortable. And so his hand reaches out, giving up on pressing fingerprints into his own skin and resting on Alhaitham's knee instead, his smile gentle and reassuring, even if he chooses to eschew words of comfort in favor of the other man's pride. ]
Then date me, [ he says, and where the words divorced from context might appear to be imperative, there's a softness to his lyrical voice that turns them into a request. ] Be my boyfriend.
[ He's smiling, but despite the calmness of his demeanor right now, his heart is hammering loud and fast in his chest, a rhythm singing his anxiety through his veins as if afraid he's going to get himself rejected right at the last possible moment. It makes no logical sense, of course, but what emotion does? ]
If that title turns out to be the only thing conventional about it, I don't mind.
[ And if it doesn't work out, they'll deal with it then. That's the other thing he wants to say. But why speak something like that into reality when they've barely even begun? ]
[ he repeats as kaveh's naturally trying to fill the gaps where he's not quite there, just like he'd always done when they'd been friends in the past. the title feels alien in his mouth, much like the words he'd had to search for before, but that's how it so often feels when one breached their sphere of comfort.
in reality, this wouldn't greatly change their dynamic, alhaitham's aware; kaveh would still find him overly obtuse and arrogant, and alhaitham would still find kaveh overemotional and obnoxious. but, instead of only fighting to highlight one another's more negative traits - this was an opportunity to cancel each other out and embrace the positive ones, ones which were so easy to overlook in the heat of what felt like a year's long argument.
with kaveh smiling at him like that, like a brilliant ray of sunshine that could rival that beating down through the windows, it's difficult not to want to let down his walls ever so slightly. drop his guard for once and ignore the consequences. but that was something for the future - and so, instead, a large hand covers kaveh's slender one, the scribe's touch warm even if his expression would take practice to catch up. ]
I'm not much for titles, but - I suppose that one is as good as any other. Those details seem to be more your wheelhouse, anyway.
[ kaveh had always been the heart of things. absently, his fingers tighten on the architect's, gaze intense. ]
You're the colour, I'm the shade. It seems pretty simple.
[ In the face of the repeated words, Kaveh's calm mask slips a little, revealing for just a moment the fear underneath, the worry that he's somehow pushed it too far already; but then Alhaitham's hand overs his and the sigh on his lips is one of relief, the emotion washing into his expression as the scribe talks, as his hand turns under the other's to loop their fingers together, an almost absent-minded action as he listens to his explanation.
He wonders if he should wind that back, tell the scribe that really, the title doesn't matter so much, that he wants Alhaitham to be comfortable more than anything else in an emotional place where he's very likely not, that what he calls him is secondary or even tertiary in importance when compared to that. But as is so often the case of late, he's stopped in his tracks by what the scribe says next, and if his heart skipped a beat before, this time it misses an entire rhythm, and his hand absently lifts to his chest as his lips part in shock, as a tell-tale sheen of wetness glosses over his eyes.
He stares for a second or two before standing, the movement abrupt, leaning over Alhaitham in the next moment and pressing a brief kiss against his mouth, firm and insistent. And when he pulls away, it's only just, hovering close and shaking his head as if doing so will force the tears to disappear, because really, of all the times to start crying... ]
Either you're secretly a romantic, or all that linguistics training gave you a really unfair advantage, because that was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard you say.
[ oddly enough, his abstract way of phrasing seems to resonate with kaveh in a way alhaitham almost doesn't expect. catching those ruby eyes filling to the brim with tears again, he briefly considers asking what he'd said wrong this time - only to be silenced by the architect drawing himself up from the bar seat and kissing him. chaste, pleasant, just what it needed to be.
then kaveh has to ruin it by trying to compliment him on something he hadn't even realised he'd done, making alhaitham purse his lips and stare almost indignantly back at him. there's no real fire to it, just reminiscent of his normal, somewhat sour attitude: ]
Don't be ridiculous. [ he scolds the blonde, as if he was the romantic out of the two. ] Just how bad is that hangover, if you're going to go spouting such nonsense?
[ but his grumbling seems to have a different context now, even though it's the same voice, the same dynamic, the same them. bare, muscled arms snake around kaveh's bare waist in that protective way he's held the blonde what, twice now in the past two weeks? - and keeps him close, skin to skin. alhaitham doesn't even really think about it, which is unsettling for him.
perhaps it's just instinctual, that he doesn't want to let the other go.
he's warm where alhaitham is cool, all graceful angles and lithe muscle; it just feels satisfying to be like this, like the correct words falling into place on a page. ]
I can't believe you're crying. Again? [ deep voice rumbling with disbelief, a hand leaves the blonde's waist to swipe a thumb at the corner of one of kaveh's crimson eyes, erasing the tears there. ] Sometimes I wonder if it's possible for me to say anything at all without making you weep.
[ - which would be a bit of a churlish thing to say if it wasn't punctuated by a soft kiss in return, gentler than his words. ]
[ It might be a surprise to the scribe, the way the architect so suddenly laughs, a bright and amused sound that perhaps seems contrary to the tears shining in his eyes. He shuffles in closer to the other man, arms slipping around Alhaitham's shoulders in return, and there's a smile on his lips as he shakes his head, a fondness in his eyes behind the sheen of his tears. ]
I'm fine!
[ It's said with another soft laugh, a broadening of his smile as Alhaitham thumbs at the corner of his eye, smudging the tear back into his skin. And after the other kisses him, soft and gentle, he hovers close again, until their noses are practically brushing up against each other. ]
These aren't sad tears. I'm happy, you dork. You said something really nice. And no, [ is the quick interjection before the scribe can get irritated all over again ] it's not just the hangover! Maybe you didn't mean it to be romantic, but it was. So shut up and let me compliment you. Alright?
[ It's a demand emphasized with yet another kiss, a press of his mouth that's firmer this time, still gentle but with a little more fire behind it than those before. This time, he's not so quick to break it, either; his eyes sink shut, one hand lifts to cup the firm line of Alhaitham's jaw, and the slim line of his body molds itself a little more closely into the firm muscles of the other man's. ]
You'll have to forgive me— [ he mumbles against the scribe's mouth ] —but I've been wanting to do this for a really, really long time.
If you start spreading the word I say things that are nice, I'm going to be very disappointed.
[ he murumrs against kaveh's lips, voice perturbed but eyes fond. alhaitham wasn't in the habit of dishing out pleasantries to people, which had become part of his finely crafted persona - but the blonde had managed to become an exception to that rule, demonstrated several times over the past two weeks. again, the architect had managed to drag him out from behind his stoic curtain.
deciding not to think too much on it for once, alhaitham breathes a pleased, low hum into the languid kiss, kaveh's mouth so soft and pleasant while laced with the juxtaposition of the bitter coffee he'd made for him earlier. their arguments were always so draining and difficult, but this, this was so easy, like they were the perfect balance of push and pull, meant to fit together in this satisfying, simple way.
turning his body away from the bar slightly so he could achieve a better angle, the strong arm that was still laced around kaveh's waist tightens slightly so that he could lift the svelte blonde up, pulling him into his lap as if he weighed next to nothing. everything about the other was so airy and carefree, a welcome reprieve to alhaitham's constant stream of analysis and logic, like he was taking in a breath of fresh air for the first time in, well - a long time.
noses brushing against one another, that piercing look is only inches away as the scribe holds kaveh's lithe frame protectively, possesively, and in a deep, hushed voice against his lips, an eyebrow raised; ]
Wanting to do what, Kaveh? You were so forthcoming with details before, it'd be foolish to stop now.
[ The first comment is met with a slight smile in return, a soft laugh at the perturbation in his voice, and Kaveh doesn't shake his head because that would pull him from Alhaitham's mouth, but he does offer a brief reassurance, a mumbled promise against the other's lips: ] Don't worry; there's no way I'm going to tell anyone about it. [ He likes, after all, that it's a side of Alhaitham just for him, that others don't get to see— except for possibly that outlander friend of his, but Kaveh tries not to think about them because he just gets stupidly jealous. ] It's our secret.
[ If he plans to say more, it's forgotten in favor of the surprised yelp that sounds on his lips when he's so effortlessly lifted and pulled into Alhaitham's lap; and then in the intensity of the scribe's gaze on his, the feel of that possessive hold around his waist, the deep cadence of his voice as he asks the question that makes the architect huff and roll his eyes again, because now the other man is just being a brat for the sake of it.
Well, two can play at that game. ]
You know, something about this is a little unfair, don't you think? [ It's a murmur into his mouth, a playful nip of teeth at his lower lip. ] I've made you listen to me so much already, and I've hardly given you a chance to speak. How selfish of me... It's only fair that you get the chance to share what's on your mind too.
[ His eyes are open, the crimson shaded over with something curious and playful, a teasing tilt at the corners of his mouth as his fingers rise further, threading into his hair and drawing patterns into the sensitive skin of his scalp. ]
[ alhaitham states flatly, though the faux-neutral tone was hard to maintain while being distracted by how pleasant kaveh's long fingers felt in his hair. it's hard to resist the urge to shiver at the sensation - no-one ever touches him like this. ]
Bold of you to assume I have a speech as long as yours prepared - perhaps 'what's on my mind' is just more organised.
[ one arm remains around the blonde's waist holding him secure while alhaitham's other hand slowly but purposefully trails up the graceful curve of kaveh's bare back. the atmosphere around them was so oddly relaxed, like a sunny weekend morning should be but never had been before, and the scribe is taking his time simply touching the other. observing, how he reacted; what he liked. perhaps he'd always bring some sort of methodical system to this fragile new thing between them, but the undiscovered territory was too enticing not to.
alhaitham's hand reaches the nape of kaveh's neck and disengages, only for him to then tuck a wayward lock of blonde hair behind the architect's ear, one that had managed to escape from the messy bun on his head. ]
What secrets would you have me spill? That you've driven me to distraction since we were classmates? That I would've been happy to simply settle for a physical relationship because it meant I could still explore you?
[ the scribe punctuates each question with a short, soft kiss, because now that he had him, had the satisfaction of being wanted in return, kaveh was all that much more intoxicating. plus; alhaitham never lied. ]
You'll have to work for the rest, I'm afraid. All in good time.
[ A singular moment passes when Kaveh strongly considers telling Alhaitham to shut up over the jab at the long speech that he gave— apparently always gives— but such a comment would be counterproductive after having just requested the other man share his thoughts, and so the scribe is met with a muttered "asshole" instead. And it's nice, the way he can say it without anger, accented with a chaste kiss and a soft smile, the comfort and ease in the words and the way Alhaitham's hair feels slipping through his fingers as he sketches over his crown, shapes and patterns without rhyme or reason.
The only bad thing about any of this is the ever-present hangover, the nausea and the headache combined doing their best to try and distract him from how good he feels for once.
But they fail, and Kaveh greets the trail of the scribe's hand with closed eyes and a pleased sigh, his head tilting into the touch at his ear at Alhaitham's fingers tuck back a wild lock of hair, and if the other man is indeed tracking his reactions he'll find the problem is that the architect likes everything he does, at least in this moment where he's content to bask in him, to just enjoy the peace that has settled between them at least momentarily in the wake of his confession. Nor does he complain when the scribe's questions are punctuated with kisses; each is returned with one of his own, with a slow smile that only grows, and Kaveh finds that he wants to follow up on all of the things the other has just said, wants answers to all of those questions and more.
As a scholar, he's ever-used to the feeling of curiosity, but it's ever been the airy, tickling feeling of knowledge to be uncovered. This feeling, though, is more like a smoldering ember, ready to burst into flames. ]
Driven to distraction, huh? [ He underscores the sentence with a kiss of his own, one a little slower and deeper, a glide of his tongue and a nip of his teeth the promise of more as his free hand comes to rest on Alhaitham's chest. ] Let's say I'm curious to hear about it...
What kind of work are you thinking of, Alhaitham? How can I convince you to tell me more?
Well - as much as I can be tempted to distraction; I suppose compared to most others I'm far more restrained.
[ because he'll do everything to downplay a potentially vulnerable admission, that usual cocky air taking over his speech again. today had already been a significant step for alhaitham, a man who prided himself on the fact that he appeared to the outside world as a mysterious enigma - and would like to keep it that way, too. sharing things on his mind that weren't off-the-cuff, sardonic remarks or academic material wasn't something he'd been particularly interested in adding to his wheelhouse, but even the scribe could recognise the correct timing and importance of such a thing to the man still wrapped around him in his lap.
kaveh's mouth on his is so pleasant, though, that it distracts from the discomfort of this intimacy of information, the kisses slow and purposeful unlike the fleeting ones they'd shared previous to today - the clipped, fleeting, demanding kisses driven by alcohol and frustration. the occasional graze of the blonde's teeth skillfully stirs something deep inside him that alhaitham knows would be improper to act on considering the sheer state kaveh had been in last night.
honestly, the fact that he'd even gotten up this morning was impressive, considering he'd not even been able to walk properly from one end of the room to another. truly formidable.
but as convincing as the architect can be, alhaitham's reply is the faintest hint of a smirk that plays into the next kiss. ]
It'll take me some time to come up with a reasonable trade, considering the weight of the exchange. You're no stranger to working yourself hard, though, so I imagine you'd have no trouble rising to the challenge.
[ the double entendre is, of course, on purpose coming from a scholar of semiotics, but it doesn't seem like he's trying to goad kaveh any further down this path that they found it so easy to stumble down. ]
But first - you should probably eat something, if there's a stomach left for you to fill after how much you drank last night.
[ As much as Kaveh wants to pout over his information stream being cut off when it's barely even begun, he's emotionally aware enough to understand the significance of what's happening here, that Alhaitham— who keeps his secrets closer than the Akademiya keeps knowledge— is sharing genuine thoughts and feelings with him, that it has to be in some way uncomfortable to do so, the same way it was difficult for him to be honest in the face of his own pride. Difficult enough that he nearly ruined things between the two of them beyond all repair. (And maybe that's a dramatic way of thinking of it, but it's also true.)
Still, in the end he pouts just a little, although the effect is definitely ruined at least in part by the curious quirk of his eyebrow, the hint of a curve at the corners of his lips at the suggestion that he works hard and rises to the challenge, because he knows Alhaitham well enough to know that his wording had to be deliberate.
Just as he knows him well enough to know that "you should probably eat something" is liable to be non-negotiable despite it sounding like a suggestion, despite the fact that he's not sure how much he can eat without his stomach making a noisy— and messy— protest. And most importantly despite him not wanting to move, because he's oddly comfortable like this, wrapped up in Alhaitham's arms, on his lap, on the top of a bar chair.
Yet at the same time, "but first" speaks to a kind of reward for doing those things he needs to do, doesn't it?
And so it's reluctantly that Kaveh withdraws his hands and disentangles himself from Alhaitham— although his movements are slower than they should be, interrupted and punctuated with stolen kisses— setting his bare feet on the floor and padding around to the other side of the bar counter to consider his (limited, on account of his stomach) options. ]
I'll make some toast for us.
[ 'Us' being the operative word, because if there's another thing he knows about Alhaitham, it's that he very likely hasn't had anything this morning other than coffee either. ]
And then... do you have plans for the day?
[ "Or can we lounge around the apartment like this while I kiss you over and over?" goes unsaid— but for once he's confident the scribe will read correctly between the lines. ]
[ practicality is definitely the enemy of sloth. as the blonde untangles himself from around him, alhaitham mildly regrets being a voice of reason as the warmth dissipates. the parting is softened somewhat by the gentle, affectionate kisses that kaveh peppers on him, and even though his face is even as ever - he realises he's in danger of his heart of stone being fractured by the sheer aura of affection radiating off of the architect like the morning sun beating down outside.
otherwise, yes, kaveh is absolutely correct - he hasn't eaten, because alhaitham's not a morning person. most days he rarely consumes anything but one or two cups of coffee after he drags himself out of bed, and normally he'd refuse an offer of food; but today seemed to be set on a trend of breaking conventions, so the scribe doesn't object as kaveh starts pottering around on the other side of the counter.
eyes flicking down to his empty coffee cup - hm, perhaps he should brew some more to balance out his elevated heart rate - they then fixate back on the blonde as he asks about the agenda for the day. obviously, there's a suggestion there because no-one knows his schedule as well as kaveh does; alhaitham treasures his weekends. he worked to the contractual letter of how much he needed to so he could have his evenings and weekends free, and while some interpreted this as malicious compliance (because what could such a cold man possibly want to do with all that free time?), the scribe's general rule was that this time was to simply enjoy the experience of life.
just, the enjoyment he got came from different places others would usually find it, he supposes. ]
You know I don't.
[ alhaitham replies knowingly, limber form leaning forward so he could rest his elbows on the counter and watch. because he's learned he likes to watch kaveh squirm; ]
[ He's pleased that the scribe doesn't reject his offer to make them both something to eat, and it shows in the smile on his lips as he takes a pan from the cupboard and starts heating it over the stovetop. Quite frankly, he doesn't really know how the other gets by on just coffee in the mornings. For his part at least, Kaveh is reasonably sure his brain doesn't start working properly until he's got something solid in his stomach— something that has been a problem for him before during the worst of the hangovers, when he's been too sick to eat but too busy not to.
Thankfully this morning he doesn't seem to be too bad, although he's not sure whether that's because of the water the scribe plied him with, the coffee the scribe plied him with, or just because of the scribe himself.
And as for the man at hand: he does indeed know that Alhaitham's weekends are free more often than not, but it's just proper, isn't it, not to assume that the scribe will drop everything for his benefit, to ask and give him an out if he wants it, because Kaveh knows that he can come on strong, especially now that he's not running from the matter at hand. ]
Mm, I know.
[ Perhaps it will be disappointing to the other man, though, that his words aren't met with a squirming response— for just as he knows Alhaitham's weekend schedule, he knows too that the scribe was able to read the intention of his words, that he knows exactly why Kaveh is asking him if he's free, that he is asking to get a response above all. And so instead, Kaveh rolls his eyes (again) as he pulls out two pieces of bread and lays them out on the quickly-heating pan— and maybe, just maybe, he makes sure to swing his scantily-clad hips a little as he does, because if Alhaitham's going to tease him, he's sure as hell going to tease Alhaitham. ]
I thought it might be nice to just spend the day relaxing like this.
[ Damnit. If he's going to have to be blunt about it, he is going to squirm. ]
[ at least, kaveh is putting on a brave front, but alhaitham had seen him drunk enough times to know how hard a certain amount of alcohol hit him. considering last night (and this morning's) conundrums and subsequent revelations had been largely behind the blonde's spirited drinking efforts, perhaps this new truce - relationship - would give him some true time to recover. one could only escape from their problems in new and self-destructive ways for so long, and alhaitham had discovered he was quite invested in seeing the attractive, mostly naked man in their kitchen stay in one piece.
the smell of toasting bread does something to remind him that his stomach is indeed empty, but it also encourages the scribe to get up lazily from his own seat, padding around the counter in bare feet to sort out refilling the coffee percolator. kaveh probably didn't need a second cup of anything unless it was water, but alhaitham was feeling rather more exhausted than usual, something he'd chalk down to the massive expense of emotional and empathetic energy. something he's very much not used to.
and it's a strangely calm domestic scene between the two of them as they occupy the kitchen together without arguing over minor infractions for once, kaveh cooking toast and alhaitham spooning grounds into the pot.
yes, he needed a second cup of coffee, but also - kaveh's proximity had become strangely magnetic. the scribe is certain that would become exhausting for him in some other way in the near future, but for now? on his private, completely clear weekend?
even he could go where the wind took him every once in a while. ]
What would you say we should do, then? [ his deep voice questions, tightening the lid on the percolator and placing it back on the stove - his body needlessly close to kaveh's as he does so, the bare skin of his chest brushing against kaveh's slim back. ] I just acquired some excellent novels from a sister school of ours in Inazuma, if you'd like some robust academic reading and debate. Otherwise, I'm sure Tighnari would love some unannounced houseguests, if a social engagement is more to your liking.
[ There's certainly something optimistic about the idea of being able to relax with a hangover— at least for the next few hours, anyway— but it's just that kind of a morning, Kaveh feeling good despite his body decidedly not.
...Although quite possibly the bare chest brushing lightly against his back has something to do with that. For his part, once the bread is in the pan, he can't help but lean back into the scribe a little, an extra weight against his chest that only lends more credence to the domesticity of the aura around the two of them. Kaveh's too smart to think that this ceasefire will be something permanent— even dating, Alhaitham is liable to drive him insane from time to time (and, is the begrudging post-script, vice-versa)— but at least for now it's nice.
More than nice.
He finds himself turning around to loop arms around the scribe's neck, the toasting bread temporarily put to the side in his mind— he's got a few minutes before he needs to flip it over anyway— and shaking his head; and he doesn't roll his eyes this time, but the expression on his face indicates his feeling just as well. Alhaitham is pushing, nudging, making suggestions knowing all too well what Kaveh wants from him and ugh. Maybe this isn't as much of a ceasefire as he originally thought.
Either way, his options are: to not say what he wants and likely miss out, because Alhaitham is as stubborn as a sumpter beast; or to suck it up and be honest despite the discomfort in doing so.
So he holds Alhaitham's gaze, another slight shake of his head accompanying his words as he answers: ] No. No debate, no social engagements. Just you and me, like this. [ He already tried "like this", though, didn't he? And that didn't work.
It's harder to say aloud than he would like. Until now, until this, he's never been the type to be backward in coming forward; he knows what he wants, says what he wants, does what he wants. Yet somehow his feelings became a secret as important to hide as his bankruptcy, and now that they're out there they still feel fragile and new and like even the slightest wrong move will send everything tumbling down.
It will take some time. That's all. Time to adjust to the knowledge that the other man isn't standing in front of him like this because he has to, but because he wants to.
Kaveh sighs, and sure enough his eyes start wandering away from Alhaitham's all by themselves. If the scribe wants him to squirm, then he's got his wish. ]
Just. Sit around. Enjoy each other. Make out. Maybe more, once I feel better.
[ the blonde is slightly shorter than him but their difference in height isn't so great, which means kaveh's arms slide easily around his neck when he turns around to face him. alhaitham's not complaining; even though he can't quite explain it, the intense desire to touch the other, have him against him skin-to-skin, be in proximity is quite overwhelming, especially for someone who usually wanted the exact opposite from every other being on the face of teyvat.
kaveh had always had that magnetic attraction about him ever since they were students, constantly surrounded by admirers of his intellect, looks and his charm, the third quality of which most of the akademiya scholars grossly lacked. maybe that's why alhaitham has always been somewhat in the blonde's orbit; but now that he'd forced through that barrier, the pull felt almost inescapable.
raising an eyebrow, a large hand trails down kaveh's left side in response, coming to rest just above the jut of his hip. in an annoyingly smug, measured voice; ]
Oh, that's what you meant? You should've just said so.
[ and he's being a pain in the ass, but that's the other thing he's learning he likes: hearing the architect say he wants him, that he wants to spend time with him, that he wants to be touched by him. there's something about those kinds of phrases that leave kaveh's mouth that twist something deep inside him that had remained long dormant - something the intensity of which alhaitham knows it'll take time to get used to, but intoxicating all the same.
it's endearing the way those crimson eyes can't remain on him, and even though everything about the way alhaitham's carrying himself is still the image of the stoic, cool scribe, a soft kiss still finds its way to the crown of kaveh's head. ]
But, anyway - I suppose I could fit that in. [ a pause, as he looks blankly thoughtful. ] Your door should probably get fixed, too.
You suppose you could fit that in? [ It's said with a huff, and Kaveh's arms unwind from around Alhaitham's neck and push aside the hand resting on his hip because what a jerk— not really, it's because he has to tend to the pan, but if the scribe asks it's definitely because he's a jerk— turning to the stove but staying close, enjoying if nothing else the feel of that firm chest against the line of his back. ]
Don't worry about my door, though~ I can fix it myself. [ While his job technically involves only the theoretical aspects of building, the light of Kshahrewar takes a lot of pride in his designs and isn't exactly a stranger to the concept of getting his hands dirty in order to get something just right. ] I'll just get some stuff from my office after the weekend. It's okay if it's broken until then.
[ (If this had turned out any other way, he probably would have been a little more on edge about his privacy being completely removed by a single kick, but right now? He doesn't mind so much.) ]
I still can't quite believe you kicked it in, you know. [ And maybe two can play at that game— at the teasing— Kaveh thinks, and he does his job, checks the bread briefly before turning back to the other man— he's doing a bad job at staying focused, but he's trying his best. His head is tilted in something akin to curiosity, although the smug little curve of his lips no doubt gives the game away as this time, his fingers reach to skate light across the hard line of the other's jaw. ] You were really jealous, huh?
[ As muddled as the memory is, one thing that shines clearly through is the fury burning behind those emerald eyes, the possessive grip of Alhaitham's hands on his shoulders, the low commanding voice insisting that Kaveh should be his.
[ their workplaces were so different now they were no longer students it was easy to forget that kaveh was for all intents and purposes an engineer - fixing things and building things had always come easy to him, but it wasn't often (if ever) that alhaitham got to observe him in that element. so he shrugs in agreeance, because having the blonde fix it is much cheaper than finding a tradesperson to do it - and then kaveh turns back around to face him, the current chores at hand lapsing in and out of both of their mind's eye. ]
'Kicked it in' is a bit of an exaggeration. [ the scribe replies, some incredulity lining his voice. kaveh's absolutely correct, but he's not about to admit it. ] Perhaps it just wasn't very structurally sound in the first place?
[ and maybe he sounds a bit grumpy, the flicker of a shadow casting across his face as he remembers the man he threw out last night - hopefully not a ranking member of the akademiya or anything, because he'd hate to cautioned by the matra for further 'enforcing' just how unwelcome he was anywhere near kaveh. cyno had very little tolerance for frivolous personal conflicts (which alhaitham strongly concurs with), but the scribe would make an exception... just this once. ]
I was simply taking out the trash.
[ is his dour response, though it's reminiscent of the protective demeanor he'd taken on the previous night and not that he's annoyed at kaveh. his turquoise eyes are unwavering as he watches the architect through them, the soft touch at his jaw welcome but not enough to soften the severity of his voice; ]
It is absolutely not an exaggeration— [ and there's a hint of the usual fire in his voice, because how like Alhaitham to deny it even when the evidence is literally hanging from its hinges in his room right now ] —or do you think I was too drunk to see that you used your Vision? [ Despite the heightened tone, that curve is still playing at the corners of his lips; he's not angry, far from it. How could he be when the scribe's reaction is... actually sort of cute?
(He'll never say that out loud, of course. Alhaitham would kick him out, no doubt, no hesitation.)
Instead, he raises himself on his toes just enough to ghost a soft, slow kiss over the other man's mouth, his free hand lifting now until he's cupping his jaw on both sides with slim fingers. He will, he thinks, probably have to track down the man in question (whatever his name was) and apologize to him at some point— not for Alhaitham's behavior but for his own, for getting him twisted up in that situation in the first place—
But that's for later, when he can't smell the bread starting to brown at his back, feel the cool length of Alhaitham's muscled body along his own suppler form, taste the bitter richness of black coffee on the scribe's lips. And he could tease, could ask Alhaitham if he counts himself as "better", but he can't help but take mercy at that sourness in the other's voice. There's something deep there among that protective energy, a dark possessiveness that makes him tremble, something he wants to dig at and dig at until he uncovers it completely for himself— but there's plenty of time for that. ]
Mm. Could've— [ he murmurs instead, then, not breaking away just yet (there's at least a little more time before he needs to go back to the stove) ] —or already have?
[ artfully dodging the question, because that loss of composure was still surprising even to him. there isn't a time he can recall in recent past that he'd lost his temper so much that it had drawn vision power out of him, a completely uncharacteristic action - and it'd be something he'd have to examine later, how something could've gotten so far under his skin. in general, his vision wasn't something he paid much attention to save for its practical purpose, but in this situation? mm. a minor concern.
but the train of thought is somewhat interrupted by kaveh's gentle lips and his hands on either side of his face, and it's so very difficult to brood when there's such a pleasant distraction right at his feet. huffing quietly at the (actually quite meaningful) murmur from the man pressed against him in front of the stove, alhaitham looks down long lashes as his right hand mirrors his left on kaveh's other hip. his grip is soft but firm, asserting his own answer to the question. ]
I'd be insulted if you suggested I was otherwise.
[ he says curtly, pulling the blonde's form languidly forward into his own. if they were close before, they were flush now, alhaitham's long fingers curling softly into kaveh's hips. their faces are inches apart, lips brushing against one another - and his deep voice rumbles slightly against the blonde's. ]
Really, you've shot yourself in the foot with all this considering you have to sing my praises now. How are you going to get rid of all that pent up energy you use to yell at me all the time?
[ It's not really that artful of a dodge when it's completely obvious to Kaveh what Alhaitham is doing. But at least for now, he lets him have it, although there's still a quiet protest in there— "I know I was drunk, but I still have eyes"— as he lets the scribe tug him closer until their bodies are flush, and Kaveh's smirk becomes a proper smile in response to his words, to the curt tone of his voice and the incongruity of a grip that is both soft and firm.
And maybe he should point out that just because he's admitted to being in love with Alhaitham, it doesn't stop the scribe from annoying him more often than not, and nor will it stop him from complaining stridently about it... but he's a little too busy being enamored, to enjoying the way he feels both warm and cool, content and needy all at once. Besides, there was something latently suggestive in the other man's words, and that's simply not an opportunity he can let pass. ]
I can think of a few ways.
[ It's murmured in time with a broadening smile, a half-step to slide his left leg between Alhaitham's... only for him to stop as a wisp of aroma hits his nostrils from behind, the nice brown of the toasted bread quickly on its way to a less desirable shade. ]
Oh, for fuck's sake, [ Kaveh sighs as he extricates himself from Alhaitham's hold— seriously, why is toast so infernally quick to burn?— turning back to the stove to quickly flip it over in the pan. Honestly, he's less irritated about the slight tinge of burnt around the toast's edges, and more about the fact that he had to step away from the scribe's embrace, and it shows in the way he huffs and pushes the bread around the pan. ] Food is stupid.
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sempiternals2023-02-11 10:39 pm
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Please save all questions for the end of the lecture. [ In comparison to the face he's pulling, his tone is prim and proper, echoing any number of the Akademiya's teachers. It belies— thankfully— the way his stomach flutters stupidly at the look on the other's face before returning back to the stupid knot of anxiety it's been tied in for the past few weeks, tighter than ever at the way he's so casually spilling all the secrets he's kept close to his chest for too long now.
(Well, as close to his chest as emotional, frustrated outbursts can be... But then, he's never been good at keeping his own confidence, not really, despite his pride and reputation alike practically relying on it.) ]
Anyway, when I kissed you, I was trying to explain myself. I didn't trust my words to do it well enough without telling you everything... and like I said, I was scared that if I told you, you'd kick me out. Say it was too awkward to live with me like this. But you misunderstood, and thought I just wanted something physical. And then that morning with my darshan, I had another dream—
[ He's gotten this far in relative quiet, but it's at this point his voice finally starts to pick up volume in tune with the emotion leeching further into every word he speaks, Kaveh's gaze falling back to the abandoned coffee cup on the bar table, the liquid dregs of almost opaque black in its base. ]
I don't know what I was thinking. I was frustrated, and embarrassed, and I told myself something would be better than nothing, but I just ended up feeling rejected and miserable. So I— [ he chuckles ] I did what you said I do. I threw myself into my work. Tried to ignore it. But it just kept feeling worse and worse, and I never saw you, and... then last night happened.
This time I tried to choose someone a little more like you, you know. But he was all wrong. I know I was loud, but... I wasn't enjoying myself. [ But he knows that last night's arousal speaks to something different, leading him to clarify, cheeks redder than before: ] Not the way I did with you.
[ Kaveh pauses, and takes a single deep breath before looking back up at Alhaitham. ]
...Okay. Now I'm done.
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slouching slightly on the counter, elbow against it and face in his hand, the scribe still manages to listen attentively despite several urges to interject - but he does wait a much longer time than he should once kaveh finally finishes his stream of consciousness, feigning surprise after an awkwardly pregnant pause. in that measured tone of his; ]
- just making sure you didn't have any other details to add.
[ his expression was the one he often wore while in thought, considering a complex written concept or nose deep in a book. even though kaveh's cheeks were a crimson that could rival that of his own eyes right now, alhaitham on the other hand looks completely unbothered, like none of the topics discussed struck him as particularly sensitive.
(apart from, obviously, the second recounting of kaveh's fling, which as usual triggers a dull, jealous pang deep inside him. annoying.) ]
Well, this certainly explains some things, [ his index finger taps the side of his jaw as his mind sorts through the many, many loose threads the blonde had just dumped on the table. ] - though I still stand by my assertion last night that you're an idiot. To think of how much suffering you could've saved yourself if you'd simply started with this.
[ and that's halfway to an actual concern, because alhaitham hadn't seen kaveh so out of sorts as he had the past couple of weeks. it hadn't been pleasant to watch, or be part of, because he'd had the frustrating realisation that seeing the architect genuinely upset made him upset. ]
So, since I was wrong to understand you wanted a no-strings-attached physical arrangement, I suppose the next question is; what do you want?
[ the scribe asks plainly, getting straight to the point. ]
I'll admit, considering our many varied, loud differences and our history on top of that, it'd be naĂŻve not to be skeptical that something between us could work. But - [ he pauses for a moment, eyes flicking off into the distance past kaveh in thought. ] - I'd be open to testing that theory.
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And yes, he thinks, maybe he could have saved himself some grief by speaking up sooner rather than later, but that's something only hindsight can see now that he knows his confession wouldn't actually get him kicked out onto the street the way he so feared, or— perhaps even worse— shot coldly down and told there's no chance in hell of getting what he wants. He's got half a mind to tell Alhaitham that, honestly, but it's the scribe's turn to talk now, and he's continuing on to ask questions, to seek what the architect actually wants from him—
And then he says he's open to testing them out like they're some kind of hypothesis he can solve, and Kaveh's left to roll his eyes all over again. ]
I'm not here to be one of your test subjects, Alhaitham. [ It's tempting to leave it there, but the scribe did ask what he wants, and maybe last night, drunken mess Kaveh turned away from the question, but in the midst of this discussion, asked so bluntly and armed with coffee, hungover mess Kaveh sees no real option other than to face it head-on, even if it makes him horrendously uncomfortable. So he closes his eyes, huffs out a short breath, folds arms over his chest, all in all tries and fails to ground himself from the heady feelings of anxiety that tug at him. And when he continues, he's back to staring at the empty coffee cup. ]
I want to be with you. [ ...No, see? That right there is the sort of ambiguity that led them down a path of confusion last time, isn't it? He sighs, shakes his head. ] I mean, I want to date you. But only if it's what you want too.
[ His eyes drop a little further, this time to his fingers kneading anxiously at the skin of his upper thigh. It's a lot more honest than the request of the night before, but it's also far more vulnerable, opening him up to a much greater rejection. His stomach is knotted and uncomfortable. He needs more coffee. Or to be sick. Or all of the above. ]
I don't want to be a hypothesis. And I don't want to be some charity case you take out because you feel sorry for him, either.
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the clarifications are intrinsically met with approval, because the last thing the scribe wanted was for them to careen down another path strewn with misinterpretation, something that would plunge them both right back into another unpleasant however-long-it'd-take to straighten it out again.
actually? there's a faint fondness in alhaitham's green eyes as kaveh does his absolute best to explain himself, all clear words, blush-stained cheeks and deft fingers toying with whatever was near to deflect some of his obvious anxiety.
he hadn't really looked at anyone like that before. well; unless they were a book. ]
Did I say you were any of those things?
[ he sighs, mildly regretting his choice of words (though not entirely, because he'd thought them rather poetic). ]
I don't suggest things mildly. Of course I don't interpret this as some sort of twisted academic endeavour - though I daresay there are enough eligible single in the Akademiya who would leap at such a thought, especially with you.
[ mm. a mild frown appears on his face, because even he knows that he's not wording this particularly well even though the intention was there. it's technically true! kaveh was beautiful, popular, charismatic, and had all but proven he had a steady stream of admirers the past week.
unfortunately, alhaitham is familiar with factual, clinical words, not flowery sonnets or romantic language that'd make a person weak at the knees.
with a quiet huff laced with frustration (at himself); ]
Perhaps my skepticism stems from being unsure I can provide you with what you - [ want? no, come on, ] - deserve.
[ maybe for the first time ever, the scribe looks dimly uncomfortable with such vulnerable language. he doesn't admit fault. he doesn't talk about these sorts of feelings. it's like a sword that's too heavy; a novel that's too short. ]
However - that doesn't mean that I wouldn't rise to the challenge. If what you need to hear is, 'I want to date you', then, I want to date you. That's no guarantee us dating would be conventional, but then, neither of us really are.
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It helps ease his own discomfort, giving him the wherewithal to pull his gaze fully back to Alhaitham's face just in time to hear words that make his heart skip a metaphorical beat or two, to see the scribe's face shift into something almost reminiscent of uncomfortable. And so his hand reaches out, giving up on pressing fingerprints into his own skin and resting on Alhaitham's knee instead, his smile gentle and reassuring, even if he chooses to eschew words of comfort in favor of the other man's pride. ]
Then date me, [ he says, and where the words divorced from context might appear to be imperative, there's a softness to his lyrical voice that turns them into a request. ] Be my boyfriend.
[ He's smiling, but despite the calmness of his demeanor right now, his heart is hammering loud and fast in his chest, a rhythm singing his anxiety through his veins as if afraid he's going to get himself rejected right at the last possible moment. It makes no logical sense, of course, but what emotion does? ]
If that title turns out to be the only thing conventional about it, I don't mind.
[ And if it doesn't work out, they'll deal with it then. That's the other thing he wants to say. But why speak something like that into reality when they've barely even begun? ]
no subject
[ he repeats as kaveh's naturally trying to fill the gaps where he's not quite there, just like he'd always done when they'd been friends in the past. the title feels alien in his mouth, much like the words he'd had to search for before, but that's how it so often feels when one breached their sphere of comfort.
in reality, this wouldn't greatly change their dynamic, alhaitham's aware; kaveh would still find him overly obtuse and arrogant, and alhaitham would still find kaveh overemotional and obnoxious. but, instead of only fighting to highlight one another's more negative traits - this was an opportunity to cancel each other out and embrace the positive ones, ones which were so easy to overlook in the heat of what felt like a year's long argument.
with kaveh smiling at him like that, like a brilliant ray of sunshine that could rival that beating down through the windows, it's difficult not to want to let down his walls ever so slightly. drop his guard for once and ignore the consequences. but that was something for the future - and so, instead, a large hand covers kaveh's slender one, the scribe's touch warm even if his expression would take practice to catch up. ]
I'm not much for titles, but - I suppose that one is as good as any other. Those details seem to be more your wheelhouse, anyway.
[ kaveh had always been the heart of things. absently, his fingers tighten on the architect's, gaze intense. ]
You're the colour, I'm the shade. It seems pretty simple.
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[ In the face of the repeated words, Kaveh's calm mask slips a little, revealing for just a moment the fear underneath, the worry that he's somehow pushed it too far already; but then Alhaitham's hand overs his and the sigh on his lips is one of relief, the emotion washing into his expression as the scribe talks, as his hand turns under the other's to loop their fingers together, an almost absent-minded action as he listens to his explanation.
He wonders if he should wind that back, tell the scribe that really, the title doesn't matter so much, that he wants Alhaitham to be comfortable more than anything else in an emotional place where he's very likely not, that what he calls him is secondary or even tertiary in importance when compared to that. But as is so often the case of late, he's stopped in his tracks by what the scribe says next, and if his heart skipped a beat before, this time it misses an entire rhythm, and his hand absently lifts to his chest as his lips part in shock, as a tell-tale sheen of wetness glosses over his eyes.
He stares for a second or two before standing, the movement abrupt, leaning over Alhaitham in the next moment and pressing a brief kiss against his mouth, firm and insistent. And when he pulls away, it's only just, hovering close and shaking his head as if doing so will force the tears to disappear, because really, of all the times to start crying... ]
Either you're secretly a romantic, or all that linguistics training gave you a really unfair advantage, because that was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard you say.
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then kaveh has to ruin it by trying to compliment him on something he hadn't even realised he'd done, making alhaitham purse his lips and stare almost indignantly back at him. there's no real fire to it, just reminiscent of his normal, somewhat sour attitude: ]
Don't be ridiculous. [ he scolds the blonde, as if he was the romantic out of the two. ] Just how bad is that hangover, if you're going to go spouting such nonsense?
[ but his grumbling seems to have a different context now, even though it's the same voice, the same dynamic, the same them. bare, muscled arms snake around kaveh's bare waist in that protective way he's held the blonde what, twice now in the past two weeks? - and keeps him close, skin to skin. alhaitham doesn't even really think about it, which is unsettling for him.
perhaps it's just instinctual, that he doesn't want to let the other go.
he's warm where alhaitham is cool, all graceful angles and lithe muscle; it just feels satisfying to be like this, like the correct words falling into place on a page. ]
I can't believe you're crying. Again? [ deep voice rumbling with disbelief, a hand leaves the blonde's waist to swipe a thumb at the corner of one of kaveh's crimson eyes, erasing the tears there. ] Sometimes I wonder if it's possible for me to say anything at all without making you weep.
[ - which would be a bit of a churlish thing to say if it wasn't punctuated by a soft kiss in return, gentler than his words. ]
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I'm fine!
[ It's said with another soft laugh, a broadening of his smile as Alhaitham thumbs at the corner of his eye, smudging the tear back into his skin. And after the other kisses him, soft and gentle, he hovers close again, until their noses are practically brushing up against each other. ]
These aren't sad tears. I'm happy, you dork. You said something really nice. And no, [ is the quick interjection before the scribe can get irritated all over again ] it's not just the hangover! Maybe you didn't mean it to be romantic, but it was. So shut up and let me compliment you. Alright?
[ It's a demand emphasized with yet another kiss, a press of his mouth that's firmer this time, still gentle but with a little more fire behind it than those before. This time, he's not so quick to break it, either; his eyes sink shut, one hand lifts to cup the firm line of Alhaitham's jaw, and the slim line of his body molds itself a little more closely into the firm muscles of the other man's. ]
You'll have to forgive me— [ he mumbles against the scribe's mouth ] —but I've been wanting to do this for a really, really long time.
no subject
[ he murumrs against kaveh's lips, voice perturbed but eyes fond. alhaitham wasn't in the habit of dishing out pleasantries to people, which had become part of his finely crafted persona - but the blonde had managed to become an exception to that rule, demonstrated several times over the past two weeks. again, the architect had managed to drag him out from behind his stoic curtain.
deciding not to think too much on it for once, alhaitham breathes a pleased, low hum into the languid kiss, kaveh's mouth so soft and pleasant while laced with the juxtaposition of the bitter coffee he'd made for him earlier. their arguments were always so draining and difficult, but this, this was so easy, like they were the perfect balance of push and pull, meant to fit together in this satisfying, simple way.
turning his body away from the bar slightly so he could achieve a better angle, the strong arm that was still laced around kaveh's waist tightens slightly so that he could lift the svelte blonde up, pulling him into his lap as if he weighed next to nothing. everything about the other was so airy and carefree, a welcome reprieve to alhaitham's constant stream of analysis and logic, like he was taking in a breath of fresh air for the first time in, well - a long time.
noses brushing against one another, that piercing look is only inches away as the scribe holds kaveh's lithe frame protectively, possesively, and in a deep, hushed voice against his lips, an eyebrow raised; ]
Wanting to do what, Kaveh? You were so forthcoming with details before, it'd be foolish to stop now.
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[ If he plans to say more, it's forgotten in favor of the surprised yelp that sounds on his lips when he's so effortlessly lifted and pulled into Alhaitham's lap; and then in the intensity of the scribe's gaze on his, the feel of that possessive hold around his waist, the deep cadence of his voice as he asks the question that makes the architect huff and roll his eyes again, because now the other man is just being a brat for the sake of it.
Well, two can play at that game. ]
You know, something about this is a little unfair, don't you think? [ It's a murmur into his mouth, a playful nip of teeth at his lower lip. ] I've made you listen to me so much already, and I've hardly given you a chance to speak. How selfish of me... It's only fair that you get the chance to share what's on your mind too.
[ His eyes are open, the crimson shaded over with something curious and playful, a teasing tilt at the corners of his mouth as his fingers rise further, threading into his hair and drawing patterns into the sensitive skin of his scalp. ]
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[ alhaitham states flatly, though the faux-neutral tone was hard to maintain while being distracted by how pleasant kaveh's long fingers felt in his hair. it's hard to resist the urge to shiver at the sensation - no-one ever touches him like this. ]
Bold of you to assume I have a speech as long as yours prepared - perhaps 'what's on my mind' is just more organised.
[ one arm remains around the blonde's waist holding him secure while alhaitham's other hand slowly but purposefully trails up the graceful curve of kaveh's bare back. the atmosphere around them was so oddly relaxed, like a sunny weekend morning should be but never had been before, and the scribe is taking his time simply touching the other. observing, how he reacted; what he liked. perhaps he'd always bring some sort of methodical system to this fragile new thing between them, but the undiscovered territory was too enticing not to.
alhaitham's hand reaches the nape of kaveh's neck and disengages, only for him to then tuck a wayward lock of blonde hair behind the architect's ear, one that had managed to escape from the messy bun on his head. ]
What secrets would you have me spill? That you've driven me to distraction since we were classmates? That I would've been happy to simply settle for a physical relationship because it meant I could still explore you?
[ the scribe punctuates each question with a short, soft kiss, because now that he had him, had the satisfaction of being wanted in return, kaveh was all that much more intoxicating. plus; alhaitham never lied. ]
You'll have to work for the rest, I'm afraid. All in good time.
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The only bad thing about any of this is the ever-present hangover, the nausea and the headache combined doing their best to try and distract him from how good he feels for once.
But they fail, and Kaveh greets the trail of the scribe's hand with closed eyes and a pleased sigh, his head tilting into the touch at his ear at Alhaitham's fingers tuck back a wild lock of hair, and if the other man is indeed tracking his reactions he'll find the problem is that the architect likes everything he does, at least in this moment where he's content to bask in him, to just enjoy the peace that has settled between them at least momentarily in the wake of his confession. Nor does he complain when the scribe's questions are punctuated with kisses; each is returned with one of his own, with a slow smile that only grows, and Kaveh finds that he wants to follow up on all of the things the other has just said, wants answers to all of those questions and more.
As a scholar, he's ever-used to the feeling of curiosity, but it's ever been the airy, tickling feeling of knowledge to be uncovered. This feeling, though, is more like a smoldering ember, ready to burst into flames. ]
Driven to distraction, huh? [ He underscores the sentence with a kiss of his own, one a little slower and deeper, a glide of his tongue and a nip of his teeth the promise of more as his free hand comes to rest on Alhaitham's chest. ] Let's say I'm curious to hear about it...
What kind of work are you thinking of, Alhaitham? How can I convince you to tell me more?
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[ because he'll do everything to downplay a potentially vulnerable admission, that usual cocky air taking over his speech again. today had already been a significant step for alhaitham, a man who prided himself on the fact that he appeared to the outside world as a mysterious enigma - and would like to keep it that way, too. sharing things on his mind that weren't off-the-cuff, sardonic remarks or academic material wasn't something he'd been particularly interested in adding to his wheelhouse, but even the scribe could recognise the correct timing and importance of such a thing to the man still wrapped around him in his lap.
kaveh's mouth on his is so pleasant, though, that it distracts from the discomfort of this intimacy of information, the kisses slow and purposeful unlike the fleeting ones they'd shared previous to today - the clipped, fleeting, demanding kisses driven by alcohol and frustration. the occasional graze of the blonde's teeth skillfully stirs something deep inside him that alhaitham knows would be improper to act on considering the sheer state kaveh had been in last night.
honestly, the fact that he'd even gotten up this morning was impressive, considering he'd not even been able to walk properly from one end of the room to another. truly formidable.
but as convincing as the architect can be, alhaitham's reply is the faintest hint of a smirk that plays into the next kiss. ]
It'll take me some time to come up with a reasonable trade, considering the weight of the exchange. You're no stranger to working yourself hard, though, so I imagine you'd have no trouble rising to the challenge.
[ the double entendre is, of course, on purpose coming from a scholar of semiotics, but it doesn't seem like he's trying to goad kaveh any further down this path that they found it so easy to stumble down. ]
But first - you should probably eat something, if there's a stomach left for you to fill after how much you drank last night.
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Still, in the end he pouts just a little, although the effect is definitely ruined at least in part by the curious quirk of his eyebrow, the hint of a curve at the corners of his lips at the suggestion that he works hard and rises to the challenge, because he knows Alhaitham well enough to know that his wording had to be deliberate.
Just as he knows him well enough to know that "you should probably eat something" is liable to be non-negotiable despite it sounding like a suggestion, despite the fact that he's not sure how much he can eat without his stomach making a noisy— and messy— protest. And most importantly despite him not wanting to move, because he's oddly comfortable like this, wrapped up in Alhaitham's arms, on his lap, on the top of a bar chair.
Yet at the same time, "but first" speaks to a kind of reward for doing those things he needs to do, doesn't it?
And so it's reluctantly that Kaveh withdraws his hands and disentangles himself from Alhaitham— although his movements are slower than they should be, interrupted and punctuated with stolen kisses— setting his bare feet on the floor and padding around to the other side of the bar counter to consider his (limited, on account of his stomach) options. ]
I'll make some toast for us.
[ 'Us' being the operative word, because if there's another thing he knows about Alhaitham, it's that he very likely hasn't had anything this morning other than coffee either. ]
And then... do you have plans for the day?
[ "Or can we lounge around the apartment like this while I kiss you over and over?" goes unsaid— but for once he's confident the scribe will read correctly between the lines. ]
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otherwise, yes, kaveh is absolutely correct - he hasn't eaten, because alhaitham's not a morning person. most days he rarely consumes anything but one or two cups of coffee after he drags himself out of bed, and normally he'd refuse an offer of food; but today seemed to be set on a trend of breaking conventions, so the scribe doesn't object as kaveh starts pottering around on the other side of the counter.
eyes flicking down to his empty coffee cup - hm, perhaps he should brew some more to balance out his elevated heart rate - they then fixate back on the blonde as he asks about the agenda for the day. obviously, there's a suggestion there because no-one knows his schedule as well as kaveh does; alhaitham treasures his weekends. he worked to the contractual letter of how much he needed to so he could have his evenings and weekends free, and while some interpreted this as malicious compliance (because what could such a cold man possibly want to do with all that free time?), the scribe's general rule was that this time was to simply enjoy the experience of life.
just, the enjoyment he got came from different places others would usually find it, he supposes. ]
You know I don't.
[ alhaitham replies knowingly, limber form leaning forward so he could rest his elbows on the counter and watch. because he's learned he likes to watch kaveh squirm; ]
Were you going to suggest something?
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Thankfully this morning he doesn't seem to be too bad, although he's not sure whether that's because of the water the scribe plied him with, the coffee the scribe plied him with, or just because of the scribe himself.
And as for the man at hand: he does indeed know that Alhaitham's weekends are free more often than not, but it's just proper, isn't it, not to assume that the scribe will drop everything for his benefit, to ask and give him an out if he wants it, because Kaveh knows that he can come on strong, especially now that he's not running from the matter at hand. ]
Mm, I know.
[ Perhaps it will be disappointing to the other man, though, that his words aren't met with a squirming response— for just as he knows Alhaitham's weekend schedule, he knows too that the scribe was able to read the intention of his words, that he knows exactly why Kaveh is asking him if he's free, that he is asking to get a response above all. And so instead, Kaveh rolls his eyes (again) as he pulls out two pieces of bread and lays them out on the quickly-heating pan— and maybe, just maybe, he makes sure to swing his scantily-clad hips a little as he does, because if Alhaitham's going to tease him, he's sure as hell going to tease Alhaitham. ]
I thought it might be nice to just spend the day relaxing like this.
[ Damnit. If he's going to have to be blunt about it, he is going to squirm. ]
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[ at least, kaveh is putting on a brave front, but alhaitham had seen him drunk enough times to know how hard a certain amount of alcohol hit him. considering last night (and this morning's) conundrums and subsequent revelations had been largely behind the blonde's spirited drinking efforts, perhaps this new truce - relationship - would give him some true time to recover. one could only escape from their problems in new and self-destructive ways for so long, and alhaitham had discovered he was quite invested in seeing the attractive, mostly naked man in their kitchen stay in one piece.
the smell of toasting bread does something to remind him that his stomach is indeed empty, but it also encourages the scribe to get up lazily from his own seat, padding around the counter in bare feet to sort out refilling the coffee percolator. kaveh probably didn't need a second cup of anything unless it was water, but alhaitham was feeling rather more exhausted than usual, something he'd chalk down to the massive expense of emotional and empathetic energy. something he's very much not used to.
and it's a strangely calm domestic scene between the two of them as they occupy the kitchen together without arguing over minor infractions for once, kaveh cooking toast and alhaitham spooning grounds into the pot.
yes, he needed a second cup of coffee, but also - kaveh's proximity had become strangely magnetic. the scribe is certain that would become exhausting for him in some other way in the near future, but for now? on his private, completely clear weekend?
even he could go where the wind took him every once in a while. ]
What would you say we should do, then? [ his deep voice questions, tightening the lid on the percolator and placing it back on the stove - his body needlessly close to kaveh's as he does so, the bare skin of his chest brushing against kaveh's slim back. ] I just acquired some excellent novels from a sister school of ours in Inazuma, if you'd like some robust academic reading and debate. Otherwise, I'm sure Tighnari would love some unannounced houseguests, if a social engagement is more to your liking.
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...Although quite possibly the bare chest brushing lightly against his back has something to do with that. For his part, once the bread is in the pan, he can't help but lean back into the scribe a little, an extra weight against his chest that only lends more credence to the domesticity of the aura around the two of them. Kaveh's too smart to think that this ceasefire will be something permanent— even dating, Alhaitham is liable to drive him insane from time to time (and, is the begrudging post-script, vice-versa)— but at least for now it's nice.
More than nice.
He finds himself turning around to loop arms around the scribe's neck, the toasting bread temporarily put to the side in his mind— he's got a few minutes before he needs to flip it over anyway— and shaking his head; and he doesn't roll his eyes this time, but the expression on his face indicates his feeling just as well. Alhaitham is pushing, nudging, making suggestions knowing all too well what Kaveh wants from him and ugh. Maybe this isn't as much of a ceasefire as he originally thought.
Either way, his options are: to not say what he wants and likely miss out, because Alhaitham is as stubborn as a sumpter beast; or to suck it up and be honest despite the discomfort in doing so.
So he holds Alhaitham's gaze, another slight shake of his head accompanying his words as he answers: ] No. No debate, no social engagements. Just you and me, like this. [ He already tried "like this", though, didn't he? And that didn't work.
It's harder to say aloud than he would like. Until now, until this, he's never been the type to be backward in coming forward; he knows what he wants, says what he wants, does what he wants. Yet somehow his feelings became a secret as important to hide as his bankruptcy, and now that they're out there they still feel fragile and new and like even the slightest wrong move will send everything tumbling down.
It will take some time. That's all. Time to adjust to the knowledge that the other man isn't standing in front of him like this because he has to, but because he wants to.
Kaveh sighs, and sure enough his eyes start wandering away from Alhaitham's all by themselves. If the scribe wants him to squirm, then he's got his wish. ]
Just. Sit around. Enjoy each other. Make out. Maybe more, once I feel better.
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kaveh had always had that magnetic attraction about him ever since they were students, constantly surrounded by admirers of his intellect, looks and his charm, the third quality of which most of the akademiya scholars grossly lacked. maybe that's why alhaitham has always been somewhat in the blonde's orbit; but now that he'd forced through that barrier, the pull felt almost inescapable.
raising an eyebrow, a large hand trails down kaveh's left side in response, coming to rest just above the jut of his hip. in an annoyingly smug, measured voice; ]
Oh, that's what you meant? You should've just said so.
[ and he's being a pain in the ass, but that's the other thing he's learning he likes: hearing the architect say he wants him, that he wants to spend time with him, that he wants to be touched by him. there's something about those kinds of phrases that leave kaveh's mouth that twist something deep inside him that had remained long dormant - something the intensity of which alhaitham knows it'll take time to get used to, but intoxicating all the same.
it's endearing the way those crimson eyes can't remain on him, and even though everything about the way alhaitham's carrying himself is still the image of the stoic, cool scribe, a soft kiss still finds its way to the crown of kaveh's head. ]
But, anyway - I suppose I could fit that in. [ a pause, as he looks blankly thoughtful. ] Your door should probably get fixed, too.
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Don't worry about my door, though~ I can fix it myself. [ While his job technically involves only the theoretical aspects of building, the light of Kshahrewar takes a lot of pride in his designs and isn't exactly a stranger to the concept of getting his hands dirty in order to get something just right. ] I'll just get some stuff from my office after the weekend. It's okay if it's broken until then.
[ (If this had turned out any other way, he probably would have been a little more on edge about his privacy being completely removed by a single kick, but right now? He doesn't mind so much.) ]
I still can't quite believe you kicked it in, you know. [ And maybe two can play at that game— at the teasing— Kaveh thinks, and he does his job, checks the bread briefly before turning back to the other man— he's doing a bad job at staying focused, but he's trying his best. His head is tilted in something akin to curiosity, although the smug little curve of his lips no doubt gives the game away as this time, his fingers reach to skate light across the hard line of the other's jaw. ] You were really jealous, huh?
[ As muddled as the memory is, one thing that shines clearly through is the fury burning behind those emerald eyes, the possessive grip of Alhaitham's hands on his shoulders, the low commanding voice insisting that Kaveh should be his.
The shiver that passes through him is visceral.
Ugh. He needs a better poker face. ]
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[ their workplaces were so different now they were no longer students it was easy to forget that kaveh was for all intents and purposes an engineer - fixing things and building things had always come easy to him, but it wasn't often (if ever) that alhaitham got to observe him in that element. so he shrugs in agreeance, because having the blonde fix it is much cheaper than finding a tradesperson to do it - and then kaveh turns back around to face him, the current chores at hand lapsing in and out of both of their mind's eye. ]
'Kicked it in' is a bit of an exaggeration. [ the scribe replies, some incredulity lining his voice. kaveh's absolutely correct, but he's not about to admit it. ] Perhaps it just wasn't very structurally sound in the first place?
[ and maybe he sounds a bit grumpy, the flicker of a shadow casting across his face as he remembers the man he threw out last night - hopefully not a ranking member of the akademiya or anything, because he'd hate to cautioned by the matra for further 'enforcing' just how unwelcome he was anywhere near kaveh. cyno had very little tolerance for frivolous personal conflicts (which alhaitham strongly concurs with), but the scribe would make an exception... just this once. ]
I was simply taking out the trash.
[ is his dour response, though it's reminiscent of the protective demeanor he'd taken on the previous night and not that he's annoyed at kaveh. his turquoise eyes are unwavering as he watches the architect through them, the soft touch at his jaw welcome but not enough to soften the severity of his voice; ]
You could've done far better, is all.
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(He'll never say that out loud, of course. Alhaitham would kick him out, no doubt, no hesitation.)
Instead, he raises himself on his toes just enough to ghost a soft, slow kiss over the other man's mouth, his free hand lifting now until he's cupping his jaw on both sides with slim fingers. He will, he thinks, probably have to track down the man in question (whatever his name was) and apologize to him at some point— not for Alhaitham's behavior but for his own, for getting him twisted up in that situation in the first place—
But that's for later, when he can't smell the bread starting to brown at his back, feel the cool length of Alhaitham's muscled body along his own suppler form, taste the bitter richness of black coffee on the scribe's lips. And he could tease, could ask Alhaitham if he counts himself as "better", but he can't help but take mercy at that sourness in the other's voice. There's something deep there among that protective energy, a dark possessiveness that makes him tremble, something he wants to dig at and dig at until he uncovers it completely for himself— but there's plenty of time for that. ]
Mm. Could've— [ he murmurs instead, then, not breaking away just yet (there's at least a little more time before he needs to go back to the stove) ] —or already have?
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[ and he shoots a look at kaveh. ]
You couldn't walk. Yeah, you were too drunk.
[ artfully dodging the question, because that loss of composure was still surprising even to him. there isn't a time he can recall in recent past that he'd lost his temper so much that it had drawn vision power out of him, a completely uncharacteristic action - and it'd be something he'd have to examine later, how something could've gotten so far under his skin. in general, his vision wasn't something he paid much attention to save for its practical purpose, but in this situation? mm. a minor concern.
but the train of thought is somewhat interrupted by kaveh's gentle lips and his hands on either side of his face, and it's so very difficult to brood when there's such a pleasant distraction right at his feet. huffing quietly at the (actually quite meaningful) murmur from the man pressed against him in front of the stove, alhaitham looks down long lashes as his right hand mirrors his left on kaveh's other hip. his grip is soft but firm, asserting his own answer to the question. ]
I'd be insulted if you suggested I was otherwise.
[ he says curtly, pulling the blonde's form languidly forward into his own. if they were close before, they were flush now, alhaitham's long fingers curling softly into kaveh's hips. their faces are inches apart, lips brushing against one another - and his deep voice rumbles slightly against the blonde's. ]
Really, you've shot yourself in the foot with all this considering you have to sing my praises now. How are you going to get rid of all that pent up energy you use to yell at me all the time?
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And maybe he should point out that just because he's admitted to being in love with Alhaitham, it doesn't stop the scribe from annoying him more often than not, and nor will it stop him from complaining stridently about it... but he's a little too busy being enamored, to enjoying the way he feels both warm and cool, content and needy all at once. Besides, there was something latently suggestive in the other man's words, and that's simply not an opportunity he can let pass. ]
I can think of a few ways.
[ It's murmured in time with a broadening smile, a half-step to slide his left leg between Alhaitham's... only for him to stop as a wisp of aroma hits his nostrils from behind, the nice brown of the toasted bread quickly on its way to a less desirable shade. ]
Oh, for fuck's sake, [ Kaveh sighs as he extricates himself from Alhaitham's hold— seriously, why is toast so infernally quick to burn?— turning back to the stove to quickly flip it over in the pan. Honestly, he's less irritated about the slight tinge of burnt around the toast's edges, and more about the fact that he had to step away from the scribe's embrace, and it shows in the way he huffs and pushes the bread around the pan. ] Food is stupid.
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