[ It is, perhaps, the most delicate Alhaitham has ever been with his words. Not that he doesn't always choose them carefully, of course, but that in Kaveh's view he doesn't usually consider the emotional impact of what he's saying in the midst of his search for veracity. He'd be lying though if he said he wasn't, in some small way, disappointed— despite the honesty of his own words, that hopeful part of Kaveh's heart allowed itself to wonder how it might feel for Alhaitham to hear his explanation, then return his words—
(and what a fairytale it would have been, for their first time together to end as such)
but he manages a small smile nonetheless, his fingers tightening on the hold around his own, pressing a soft kiss to the long line of that handsome jaw. A fairytale sounds nice in theory, but he would never ask for anything other than Alhaitham's honesty; it takes only a moment therefore for his expression to strengthen.
Truthfully, the fact that the scribe is even thinking about it is more than he could have genuinely hoped for. ]
Always, huh? [ It's an echo, in some small way, of the words spoken between them minutes ago, a question in the throes of their passion that had Kaveh spilling fragmented admissions in response, confessing to things that he barely even knew for himself until just recently. And isn't it funny, that somehow he's become an expert on love when it took him so many years to piece the parts together well enough to even begin to understand? Perhaps what he should have said was something far simpler:
I didn't, until you.
Kaveh takes a breath, closes his eyes, presses his face into the crook of Alhaitham's shoulder to drink in the scent of him, the usual sandalwood of his cologne mixed with the sweat and the headiness of their sex in the air. The act of cleaning is forgotten completely, a long arm snaking around the younger's side to draw them closer together again, choosing to be ignorant of how such an action could potentially be an error in judgement for his still-quickened pulse.
Perhaps, is the vague realization, his apparent weakness for the other comes from the depth of his feeling.
(And in hindsight, it is something almost embarrassing in how obvious it seems.) ]
The only thing I need to know right now, [ he murmurs, voice drowsy with content, yet laced at the edges with active consideration, ] is that it doesn't make you uncomfortable. When I say it. If you feel pressured by it, or it's something you don't want me to say right now, you have to tell me, Alhaitham, okay?
I would've thought that you of all people would know I'd speak my mind if that were the case.
[ alhaitham replies flatly, in that familiar matter-of-fact tone as kaveh's arm slinks around the side of his waist. in response, he instinctually wraps both of his around the blonde's angular form and draws him in closer, eyes slipping closed and an arguably contented sigh escaping him as he does so.
whether or not he could currently honour kaveh's desire to hear a response that he wasn't experienced enough to give, it was a matter that could wait until another day, until the sun rose again and they hadn't just: spent the whole night at a sordid party, gotten into a fist-fight, engaged the matra, drawn the attention of the entire akademiya, and had sex for the first time (actually in that order).
what he has now is more than he's ever had before, after all.
kaveh is warm in all the ways alhaitham isn't. he's familiar, like no-one else he's ever met. the weight of him tucked into the scribe's embrace feels natural, like he's always meant to be there, and how obnoxious that they'd gotten so thoroughly in each other's ways to prevent it. that certainty is comforting, the concrete things that he knows, and it's more that enough as fatigue sets in. the thrum of their afterglow has settled instead into a pleasant, subtle ebb of simple satisfaction, and alhaitham didn't see any reason to ruin such a contented moment with more analytics.
for once. ]
But, no. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. [ he murmurs finally into the crown of kaveh's head, golden hair brushing gently against his lips. ] I encourage you to continue being as unapologetically and brutally honest to me as you always have.
[ - because around each other, they could be their best and worst selves, after all.
perhaps his embrace tightens just a fraction before the scribe drifts off to sleep; perhaps this feels like a more restful reprieve than many of his other nights. but tomorrow existed to seek answers, and as the two drift off to sleep, alhaitham is distantly confident they'd find them. ]
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sempiternals2023-02-11 10:39 pm
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(and what a fairytale it would have been, for their first time together to end as such)
but he manages a small smile nonetheless, his fingers tightening on the hold around his own, pressing a soft kiss to the long line of that handsome jaw. A fairytale sounds nice in theory, but he would never ask for anything other than Alhaitham's honesty; it takes only a moment therefore for his expression to strengthen.
Truthfully, the fact that the scribe is even thinking about it is more than he could have genuinely hoped for. ]
Always, huh? [ It's an echo, in some small way, of the words spoken between them minutes ago, a question in the throes of their passion that had Kaveh spilling fragmented admissions in response, confessing to things that he barely even knew for himself until just recently. And isn't it funny, that somehow he's become an expert on love when it took him so many years to piece the parts together well enough to even begin to understand? Perhaps what he should have said was something far simpler:
I didn't, until you.
Kaveh takes a breath, closes his eyes, presses his face into the crook of Alhaitham's shoulder to drink in the scent of him, the usual sandalwood of his cologne mixed with the sweat and the headiness of their sex in the air. The act of cleaning is forgotten completely, a long arm snaking around the younger's side to draw them closer together again, choosing to be ignorant of how such an action could potentially be an error in judgement for his still-quickened pulse.
Perhaps, is the vague realization, his apparent weakness for the other comes from the depth of his feeling.
(And in hindsight, it is something almost embarrassing in how obvious it seems.) ]
The only thing I need to know right now, [ he murmurs, voice drowsy with content, yet laced at the edges with active consideration, ] is that it doesn't make you uncomfortable. When I say it. If you feel pressured by it, or it's something you don't want me to say right now, you have to tell me, Alhaitham, okay?
no subject
[ alhaitham replies flatly, in that familiar matter-of-fact tone as kaveh's arm slinks around the side of his waist. in response, he instinctually wraps both of his around the blonde's angular form and draws him in closer, eyes slipping closed and an arguably contented sigh escaping him as he does so.
whether or not he could currently honour kaveh's desire to hear a response that he wasn't experienced enough to give, it was a matter that could wait until another day, until the sun rose again and they hadn't just: spent the whole night at a sordid party, gotten into a fist-fight, engaged the matra, drawn the attention of the entire akademiya, and had sex for the first time (actually in that order).
what he has now is more than he's ever had before, after all.
kaveh is warm in all the ways alhaitham isn't. he's familiar, like no-one else he's ever met. the weight of him tucked into the scribe's embrace feels natural, like he's always meant to be there, and how obnoxious that they'd gotten so thoroughly in each other's ways to prevent it. that certainty is comforting, the concrete things that he knows, and it's more that enough as fatigue sets in. the thrum of their afterglow has settled instead into a pleasant, subtle ebb of simple satisfaction, and alhaitham didn't see any reason to ruin such a contented moment with more analytics.
for once. ]
But, no. It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. [ he murmurs finally into the crown of kaveh's head, golden hair brushing gently against his lips. ] I encourage you to continue being as unapologetically and brutally honest to me as you always have.
[ - because around each other, they could be their best and worst selves, after all.
perhaps his embrace tightens just a fraction before the scribe drifts off to sleep; perhaps this feels like a more restful reprieve than many of his other nights. but tomorrow existed to seek answers, and as the two drift off to sleep, alhaitham is distantly confident they'd find them. ]