I can keep the intention of a promise. [ the scribe murmurs, eyes drifting to where kaveh's lips met the skin of his hand. ] Making commitments I can't keep seems disingenuous, when it appears neither of us have been motivated by malice. Even when we talk, we've repeatedly proven that it can just as easily devolve into an argument because of perspective. Emotion.
[ things he's still coming to grips with in their nuance, really. and it's so hard to focus on the conversation when he's torn between feeling like shit warmed up or frustratingly charmed by how beautiful kaveh looks as his lips graze his skin, doing something to stir up the flicker of feeling deep down inside him - but alhaitham is doing his best to put what he considers ephemeral concepts into words, because kaveh's right.
this all needed to be addressed, perhaps even breaking the issues down to their core components so there was absolutely no room for misinterpretation since they both seemed to run a mile with it; because the scribe doesn't want a repeat of the confronting emptiness of the past week. it felt too familiar, that hollow echo of pain just distant enough to be reminiscent of something else.
then the architect says something that makes alhaitham purse his lips in displeasure, the ghost of a frown on his face. ]
Don't say that. [ it comes out more as a demand than he intends, but the taller man had never bothered mincing words. ] It wouldn't be in the spirit of a new start if you took all the blame, when the very definition of a relationship is a fine balance.
[ For a moment, Kaveh almost wants to protest, wants to push the idea of the promise so that Alhaitham will realize how serious and important it is. But, as frustrating as it might be for him, he understands where the other is coming from, understands that the scribe won't make a promise he doesn't know for sure he can keep. And so he doesn't complain— but he is silent for a short while, trying to decide the best way to respond to him as his lips continue their lazy pattern of kisses over the palm of his hand.
The sudden sharpness of the other's voice makes him stop though, look up in mild surprise, and Kaveh can't help but laugh, his expression immediately fond as he shakes his head. ]
Believe it or not, I wasn't blaming myself. [ He lowers Alhaitham's hand back to his leg so that he can twist to face the other, his lithe fingers rising to cup the sharp sides of his face instead. ] We made this mess together— Maybe I should have been clearer. [ Kaveh's forehead rests against Alhaitham's, ruby eyes meeting emerald, that slight smile quirking the corners of his lips. ]
I don't want us to go through this again. Keeping the intention of a promise is fine— you're right, misunderstandings will probably happen anyway. [ When it comes to the two of them, they always do. ] We'll talk, we'll figure it out, we'll do whatever we have to do to make it right. I love you, and I don't want us to screw this up again.
[ And then, because he wouldn't be Kaveh if he wasn't seeking some sort of approval from the other man, his lips quirk a little more, a question in his expression. ] Better?
[ the soft brush of golden hair and cool fingers against his face is a welcome comfort to a difficult conversation and a pounding headache, eyes slipping closed as he simply enjoys. the warmth and proximity he'd been bereft of for a week still felt like a relief, even though they'd already spent the night tangled together; even though they'd been spoiled for touch since their reconciliation.
with a quiet huff that's mostly disbelief at his own sentimentality, long arms wind around kaveh's waist and come to rest at his sides. the way they're seated makes it difficult to reach too far forward, so instead the scribe settles for stroking a thumb slowly, rhythmically against the skin just above the hem of his pants - a soothing gesture more than anything else, but at the same time, alhaitham can't quite help himself from touching.
the morning didn't need to be anything more than this, but he realises he's loathe to let the other go so easily again - a thought that brings his sluggish mind back to one of the catalysts of the night before.
a murmur, with obvious reluctance; ]
If that's the case, there were other things that came up last night we should probably discuss; significant things. [ turquoise eyes open again to fix on kaveh's, if only to demonstrate that he was serious. after all, the plans that the architect had drawn, mentions of a future, much less a family - all things that would probably warrant definition before misunderstanding. ] - but, not right now.
[ Alhaitham's actions are rewarded with a contented sigh; like the other man, Kaveh is simply enjoying this moment they're sharing, the feel of the other's skin under fingers he thought would never get to touch him again, the soft huffing sound on the other's lips as his arms wind around Kaveh's waist. And where that eagerness is still bubbling under the blonde's skin, he smiles broadly when those eyes open to meet his own once more, offering a gentle smile and a nod in response. ]
Later, [ he agrees. ] When your head isn't pounding. And when—
[ And then Kaveh groans, because the realization has just hit him that he's meant to head into the desert tomorrow, having already put his client off by the better part of a week with his supposed sickness. His hands drop from the other's cheeks, shoulders slumping, a typically too-distressed look on his face. ]
I'm meant to go to Aaru Village for a few days, starting tomorrow. [ He doesn't want to go. He wants to stay here and find normal again before he's forced to be apart from Alhaitham once more. ] I've got some plans to go over with a client for a project, and—
[ He sighs. ]
Do you want me to cancel? I'm sure he won't mind if I reschedule...
[ it's a genuine question, because as far as alhaitham's concerned the matter is sorted - it's black and white that kaveh has 'moved back in' as such, and the idea of finding a new normal is completely alien to him when it simply was. and, anyway: they'd lived together far too long already, relationship or no, that the scribe is aware that there were only negative consequences for the architect procrastinating.
longer nights, more stress, darker circles under ruby eyes.
pulling back slightly, the taller man gently drops a hand on the crown of that blonde hair - much like reassuring a puppy, he supposes - and shakes his head. ]
Go and do your project; your head will be much clearer with it out of the way.
[ a pause, and despite his tiredness, a wicked glint in his otherwise level eyes. ]
[ He would cancel, Kaveh wants to say, because sorted or not, they have been apart from one another for a whole week. He's missed him, and the thought of having to leave again so soon after coming together again is just awful. He's stopped in his thoughts though by that glint in Alhaitham's eyes, and in the next his own narrow, a huff on his lips as his hands shove at the other's chest. ]
Archons, you are such a jerk, [ he mutters, but the grumping doesn't reach his eyes, which instead are alight with affection as they meet Alhaitham's own. That wickedness soothes him, gives him the best feeling he's had since a week ago; despite the tiredness the other is feeling, the hangover he's suffering, Alhaitham is cheerful enough to tease him.
It doesn't take long for his smile to come to his mouth, reversing the irritated pout on his lips as his hands move back to their place on the sides of the other's face, holding him as he leans to close the gap between them, lips catching Alhaitham's in a soft kiss, answering the pained longing of the last several days. ]
I know I have to go. [ The confession is murmured with a sigh against the other's mouth. ] But I'll miss you while I'm there.
[ alhaitham retorts evenly, though he lets kaveh push him a little because this, this felt like slipping on a well-worn glove and enjoying the fit of it. the two of them had a peculiar dynamic, but it was inarguably, intrinsically theirs; and he'd gotten so used to it over the past year or so that existence felt unbalanced when it was missing.
the kiss is equally savoured, the taller man lingering perhaps just a second longer than would be appropriate for the context of it - but he's currently indisposed, and therefore feeling rather selfish. kaveh's skin always feels so pleasant against his own, a panacea for the tumult of the past week that does something to wash away the sour taste of solitude.
the house would be quiet again without the blonde around; but this time it'd be a comfortable silence, rather than a foreboding one. plus - at least it'd be a chance for alhaitham to catch up on the sleep he'd missed turning things over in his mind on empty nights the past week. ]
Your absence will be felt, too.
[ he says finally, punctuating the statement with a look so intense it bordered on smouldering - but who can really tell, with the weariness at the creases of his eyes, and the stoic expression. ]
- that said, you should probably pack. You always forget something, so taking your time might avoid that.
Hey! [ he exclaims, offended, as if he has any right to be when the other speaks the truth— more than once has Kaveh had to purchase additional clothing against the cold desert nights, or an extra toothbrush, or something else equally important somehow forgotten in the rush of his packing. This perfectly true fact doesn't stop him from pouting about Alhaitham trying to kick him out of bed, though. ] I'll do it today. Don't rush me right now— I'm enjoying this.
[ And he is. In fact, instead of getting up, Kaveh puts any remaining cups and plates on the side table before bodily pulling Alhaitham back down to the bed with him, arms and legs draped over the other in a silent declaration: right now, he's not going anywhere. Right now, he wants to get as much of this as he can.
He's going to miss Alhaitham this week, but at least it won't be the horrid, hollow pain of the week just past. And when he gets back, they can talk about their future, about plans for dreams so big a single piece of drafting paper can't contain them. ]
Sleep. You need it, to shake off your hangover.
[ For now, Kaveh closes his eyes, a smile on his lips. ]
[ the scribe lets himself get tugged back down towards the bed, putting up zero resistance as long limbs wind their way around him in a way that had grown both comforting and familiar. most mornings they awoke to a similar sort of arrangement as kaveh always seems to gravitate towards him in the night regardless of how they go to sleep - and even though it strongly reminded alhaitham of how a tree monkey would act, it was also extremely endearing.
shocked as he is that he's grown to welcome someone in his personal space, alhaitham will refuse to complain. for once. ]
Decent advice, considering the source.
[ he murmurs, settling back into the soft down of the mattress and snaking one muscled arm around the architect's slim waist. the edges of his words get lost in golden hair as his lips brush against the crown of kaveh's head, leaving the ghost of a kiss so faint you'd wonder if it was even really there - and then the scribe's eyes slip closed.
a few moments pass as alhaitham's breathing begins to even out, signaling that he's on the edge of sleep, but before he does, some quiet words sneak out; ]
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sempiternals2023-02-11 10:39 pm
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[ things he's still coming to grips with in their nuance, really. and it's so hard to focus on the conversation when he's torn between feeling like shit warmed up or frustratingly charmed by how beautiful kaveh looks as his lips graze his skin, doing something to stir up the flicker of feeling deep down inside him - but alhaitham is doing his best to put what he considers ephemeral concepts into words, because kaveh's right.
this all needed to be addressed, perhaps even breaking the issues down to their core components so there was absolutely no room for misinterpretation since they both seemed to run a mile with it; because the scribe doesn't want a repeat of the confronting emptiness of the past week. it felt too familiar, that hollow echo of pain just distant enough to be reminiscent of something else.
then the architect says something that makes alhaitham purse his lips in displeasure, the ghost of a frown on his face. ]
Don't say that. [ it comes out more as a demand than he intends, but the taller man had never bothered mincing words. ] It wouldn't be in the spirit of a new start if you took all the blame, when the very definition of a relationship is a fine balance.
[ he adds as an afterthought; ] - apparently.
no subject
The sudden sharpness of the other's voice makes him stop though, look up in mild surprise, and Kaveh can't help but laugh, his expression immediately fond as he shakes his head. ]
Believe it or not, I wasn't blaming myself. [ He lowers Alhaitham's hand back to his leg so that he can twist to face the other, his lithe fingers rising to cup the sharp sides of his face instead. ] We made this mess together— Maybe I should have been clearer. [ Kaveh's forehead rests against Alhaitham's, ruby eyes meeting emerald, that slight smile quirking the corners of his lips. ]
I don't want us to go through this again. Keeping the intention of a promise is fine— you're right, misunderstandings will probably happen anyway. [ When it comes to the two of them, they always do. ] We'll talk, we'll figure it out, we'll do whatever we have to do to make it right. I love you, and I don't want us to screw this up again.
[ And then, because he wouldn't be Kaveh if he wasn't seeking some sort of approval from the other man, his lips quirk a little more, a question in his expression. ] Better?
no subject
[ the soft brush of golden hair and cool fingers against his face is a welcome comfort to a difficult conversation and a pounding headache, eyes slipping closed as he simply enjoys. the warmth and proximity he'd been bereft of for a week still felt like a relief, even though they'd already spent the night tangled together; even though they'd been spoiled for touch since their reconciliation.
with a quiet huff that's mostly disbelief at his own sentimentality, long arms wind around kaveh's waist and come to rest at his sides. the way they're seated makes it difficult to reach too far forward, so instead the scribe settles for stroking a thumb slowly, rhythmically against the skin just above the hem of his pants - a soothing gesture more than anything else, but at the same time, alhaitham can't quite help himself from touching.
the morning didn't need to be anything more than this, but he realises he's loathe to let the other go so easily again - a thought that brings his sluggish mind back to one of the catalysts of the night before.
a murmur, with obvious reluctance; ]
If that's the case, there were other things that came up last night we should probably discuss; significant things. [ turquoise eyes open again to fix on kaveh's, if only to demonstrate that he was serious. after all, the plans that the architect had drawn, mentions of a future, much less a family - all things that would probably warrant definition before misunderstanding. ] - but, not right now.
Later.
no subject
Later, [ he agrees. ] When your head isn't pounding. And when—
[ And then Kaveh groans, because the realization has just hit him that he's meant to head into the desert tomorrow, having already put his client off by the better part of a week with his supposed sickness. His hands drop from the other's cheeks, shoulders slumping, a typically too-distressed look on his face. ]
I'm meant to go to Aaru Village for a few days, starting tomorrow. [ He doesn't want to go. He wants to stay here and find normal again before he's forced to be apart from Alhaitham once more. ] I've got some plans to go over with a client for a project, and—
[ He sighs. ]
Do you want me to cancel? I'm sure he won't mind if I reschedule...
no subject
[ it's a genuine question, because as far as alhaitham's concerned the matter is sorted - it's black and white that kaveh has 'moved back in' as such, and the idea of finding a new normal is completely alien to him when it simply was. and, anyway: they'd lived together far too long already, relationship or no, that the scribe is aware that there were only negative consequences for the architect procrastinating.
longer nights, more stress, darker circles under ruby eyes.
pulling back slightly, the taller man gently drops a hand on the crown of that blonde hair - much like reassuring a puppy, he supposes - and shakes his head. ]
Go and do your project; your head will be much clearer with it out of the way.
[ a pause, and despite his tiredness, a wicked glint in his otherwise level eyes. ]
- and the house will be much quieter.
no subject
Archons, you are such a jerk, [ he mutters, but the grumping doesn't reach his eyes, which instead are alight with affection as they meet Alhaitham's own. That wickedness soothes him, gives him the best feeling he's had since a week ago; despite the tiredness the other is feeling, the hangover he's suffering, Alhaitham is cheerful enough to tease him.
It doesn't take long for his smile to come to his mouth, reversing the irritated pout on his lips as his hands move back to their place on the sides of the other's face, holding him as he leans to close the gap between them, lips catching Alhaitham's in a soft kiss, answering the pained longing of the last several days. ]
I know I have to go. [ The confession is murmured with a sigh against the other's mouth. ] But I'll miss you while I'm there.
no subject
[ alhaitham retorts evenly, though he lets kaveh push him a little because this, this felt like slipping on a well-worn glove and enjoying the fit of it. the two of them had a peculiar dynamic, but it was inarguably, intrinsically theirs; and he'd gotten so used to it over the past year or so that existence felt unbalanced when it was missing.
the kiss is equally savoured, the taller man lingering perhaps just a second longer than would be appropriate for the context of it - but he's currently indisposed, and therefore feeling rather selfish. kaveh's skin always feels so pleasant against his own, a panacea for the tumult of the past week that does something to wash away the sour taste of solitude.
the house would be quiet again without the blonde around; but this time it'd be a comfortable silence, rather than a foreboding one. plus - at least it'd be a chance for alhaitham to catch up on the sleep he'd missed turning things over in his mind on empty nights the past week. ]
Your absence will be felt, too.
[ he says finally, punctuating the statement with a look so intense it bordered on smouldering - but who can really tell, with the weariness at the creases of his eyes, and the stoic expression. ]
- that said, you should probably pack. You always forget something, so taking your time might avoid that.
no subject
[ And he is. In fact, instead of getting up, Kaveh puts any remaining cups and plates on the side table before bodily pulling Alhaitham back down to the bed with him, arms and legs draped over the other in a silent declaration: right now, he's not going anywhere. Right now, he wants to get as much of this as he can.
He's going to miss Alhaitham this week, but at least it won't be the horrid, hollow pain of the week just past. And when he gets back, they can talk about their future, about plans for dreams so big a single piece of drafting paper can't contain them. ]
Sleep. You need it, to shake off your hangover.
[ For now, Kaveh closes his eyes, a smile on his lips. ]
no subject
shocked as he is that he's grown to welcome someone in his personal space, alhaitham will refuse to complain. for once. ]
Decent advice, considering the source.
[ he murmurs, settling back into the soft down of the mattress and snaking one muscled arm around the architect's slim waist. the edges of his words get lost in golden hair as his lips brush against the crown of kaveh's head, leaving the ghost of a kiss so faint you'd wonder if it was even really there - and then the scribe's eyes slip closed.
a few moments pass as alhaitham's breathing begins to even out, signaling that he's on the edge of sleep, but before he does, some quiet words sneak out; ]
If you snore, I'm waking you up.