sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

Fuck—

[ Not only does Euler take him deep, but he also curls that finger inside him, easily finding the one place that makes the blonde cry out, a sharp noise on his tongue matched only by the way his hips arch suddenly up.

He should apologize for it, for moving so abruptly when the other's mouth is wrapped around him, but in the sudden haze of pleasure he's not seeing clearly, and his action instead is to lower a hand to his hair again, fingers threading once more through the strands as he pants for breath. ]

I.. if it's a show, Euler, we're doing it. Together.

[He just finds the whole thing adorable. Alhaitham loves that he can't just do anything but clutch onto him, and for once, he drops the punishment and reward, the whole 'scene' they set up unwittingly.

Alhaitham crawls back up, pressing into the middle of Kaveh's legs with a slight shift of his hips, and wraps both of their erections with his fingers, tight and vicious as he kisses him.] Together?

[ When he realizes what he's done, he's half expecting Euler to stop— but he's not expecting the way he crawls back up his body to kiss him instead, long fingers winding around both of their erections in a way that makes Kaveh jolt, a soft curse on his lips.

He stutters a helpless syllable or two into their kiss, trying to find the right words. ]

I— I, yeah. I'm not just putting on a show... if the camera was here right now, everyone would see both of us, not just me. When you kiss me like this, they'd see that.

And yet, there are no cameras here. Only my eyes.

[He grinds into the grasp, creating friction between his fingers and Kaveh's own erection, and it's enough to have him groan. He kisses under his ear, along his neck, raptured by the scent of him, the gasping lilt of his voice.] And you're a spectacle to me.

[ The words make him blush, affecting him just as much as the hand on his erection, just as much as the kisses pressed under his ear and along his neck. There's another stutter of his hips, a tensing in his abdomen and balls that warns him of how close he is, and Kaveh gasps, head tipping back to give Euler all the more access to him. ]

I want...

[ His teeth worry over his lower lip. ]

Bite me, Mister E. Mark me, please. I wanna be yours, I want to have to hide it from everyone else...

[Kaveh, with his low cut shirts, unbuttoned blouses, flowy tops, often silks and flowing fabrics fluttering and trailing behind him every time he rushes through the university's hallways.

Pharos' skimpy, lacey underwear, fancy wigs, beautiful body jewelry that he uses to draw attention to the attributes he prefers.

All made difficult because Euler has bitten him, and he needs to be creative.

The whole mental image he gets is enough to roll a gentle growl out of his throat, and sink his teeth soft, then deep, deeper, onto the soft skin of his neck, near his collarbone. And it's enough to have him grind deeper, a bit harder, squeeze their cocks a bit tighter.]

[ The growl sends a shiver of delight through him, and then he yelps as teeth sink into his neck, head tilting back further as he pants around the mingled pleasure and pain. Euler has chosen a good place, one where it will be quite difficult for him to hide— not just on stream but in his day to day job, too.

He may even need to change up what he wears for a week or so.

He's not sure why, but the idea of them having a secret like this between only the two of them is an insane turn on. Only Euler will know why he's hiding himself from everyone, and... ]

E-Euler, I... gods...

[ Just like this, he's close, fingers tightening in the other's hair, pulling him closer. ]

[And in turn, Alhaitham's fingers tangle into the beautiful gold of Kaveh's hair, his breath hot against his neck, small sounds coming from his lips before he spills them into the streamer's own just a moment before he whispers Pharos' name, his peak almost taking him to a pure, white, mindless sight as he spills over Kaveh's stomach and his fingers.

It's the only thing he stops himself from doing, to stop watching Kaveh come undone before him again.]

[ The feeling of the other losing himself, spilling over him, is enough to take Kaveh that last little bit to the edge. He moans in return, eyes closing as his head tilts back further, fingers tight in Euler's hair as his own orgasm finds him and he spills over himself and their hands. ]

Nn... Euler, I..

[ He's lost for words. His head lifts from the bed, face pressing into the other as he breathes him in, his entire body trembling from the exertion. ]

[Wrapping around him, Alhaitham tugs him close, turns them onto their sides so that they can catch their breath together. Not once, but twice, and Alhaitham kisses the words out of Kaveh's mouth, lest he say something silly in their post-coital bliss. He nuzzles him, soft, pressing small kisses where he can reach.] Shh, I'm here.

[ Alhaitham's wisdom saves them both, because there are some truly, truly foolish words on Kaveh's lips. The kisses distract him, and he curls in closer to Euler, sighing, his heart fluttering in his chest but gradually settling.

In the end, what he says is foolish, but nowhere near as dangerous as what he had been about to say: ]

I wish I could see you more often.

[He's sweet. He's so sweet. Alhaitham feels a bit broken with how darling he is when he's like this. Kaveh would never act this way if he knew who he truly was. Alhaitham himself probably wouldn't act the same way if—

—no, that's a lie. He did. Even if Kaveh barely remembers it.

He reaches to smooth down his hair, sighing deep and fully relaxing with Pharos in his arms.] Was the color system alright? It wasn't too harsh, was it?

[ His eyes widen at the question, and he looks up at Euler, a fond smile on his face. ]

It was more than alright... you weren't too harsh at all.

[ His hand lifts, stroking over the side of the other's face, admiring the depth of his eyes beneath the mask. The smile on his lips turns playful, teasing. ]

You could be a little harsher, if you wanted to be.

[There's always a permanent concern that Kaveh will look into his eyes and recognize him. Maybe in the texture of his dark-dyed hair, or the fact that he didn't really make an effort to change the color of his eyes. Yet, he's smiling so tenderly, Alhaitham sighs, closes his eyes and tilts his head towards his hand, reveling in the touch.]

Do you know your pain threshold? [He picks up that hand and presses a kiss on his palm.] If we use these methodologies, I'd want to ensure I'm not breaching any limits.

[Perhaps they should look into those contracts/lists for this. He'll need to look into it soon.]

[ The question makes him shake his head, even as he continues to smile up at him. ]

I don't. [ If they're going to be doing something like this, after all, he has to be honest. ] I've never trusted anyone enough to do anything like this before. That's why...

[ He pauses slightly, biting his lip and casting his eyes to the side for a moment, color on his cheeks. ]

I trust you to help me figure it out, though. You know I'll tell you if it's too much.

[Euler pins him with a very pointed stare.]

Even if I look like I'm enjoying myself? [He presses a kiss to his wrist, then his forearm, then the fold of his inner elbow, and then his neck as he snuggles closer, muffling his voice on the skin.] We really need to trust each other, no streamer/viewer dynamics involved. I will continue to pay for the private streams if you wish to continue with those, but when it comes to meeting in person, I want you to have all the power, alright?

[ Kaveh's face flushes darker in response to the other's stare, and his head tilts as he considers him. Looking at him as he is, there's something almost familiar about Euler, something he can't place even as he feels like he should be able to.

With that aside, though, what the other is saying makes a lot of sense, and after a moment, he nods. There's a stubborn part of him wanting to argue, to point out that Euler needs power in their interactions as well, but he understands what the other is actually saying, even if his brain wants to be pedantic about it, and so he doesn't say it.

Instead, his fingers come up to thread through the other's hair as he nods again. ]

Okay. When we're meeting like this, then, I'm not a streamer, and you're not my viewer. We're... we're just us.

[ He's silent for a moment or two, thinking about the ramifications of what comes to his mind next; when he speaks again, it's in a soft, thoughtful voice: ]

Do you want to know my name?

[He'll be the death of him.

Alhaitham presses more kisses to his neck, holding him close. They're absolutely filthy, but he doesn't care. He'll tell Pharos to shower before him, lest his hair dye washes off.]

And here I was just getting used to calling you 'baby'. [He nuzzles him with a sated, comfortable sigh. His mind, however, reeling with the repercussions of what that could mean. Alhaitham wouldn't be able to give his real name back, and that in itself disturbs the balance of it all, too.

He draws back to peck at his nose. Playful, lighthearted.] I wouldn't think it's safe for you to give away your identity just yet. Maybe later, if you wish to and we're sure that this works out. But for now, I don't want our relationship to have your privacy as a compromise. Alright?

[ Kaveh laughs softly at the "baby" comment, although for a moment he's not sure if he should be disappointed. Perhaps it was unfair to ask, but he just wants so much, has leapt so wholeheartedly into this that he doesn't know how to stop the freefall— and even if he did know, he couldn't be sure he'd want to.

But then Euler explains himself, tells him he wants to put Pharos's safety first, calls this a relationship—

Kaveh feels his mouth run dry in anticipation, and he tilts his head so that he can catch the other's mouth with his, brief and sweet, not giving even one single thought to how much of a mess they both are right now. ]

A relationship, huh.

[ He knows, of course, that the word can have many different meanings... but it's a loaded choice nonetheless, and he's never known Euler to be anything but careful with how he speaks. ]

Hmm. [Another kiss stolen, his eyes squinting behind his mask, amused more than suspicious. It's somewhat relieving that Kaveh decided to focus on that in particular.] What about it? Doesn't have to be if you don't want to.

[ His head tilts, and he laughs softly at the kiss— then reaches to poke Euler's nose, making a face at him. ]

I want it to be.

[ And yet there's a weird undercurrent of guilt pooling at the base of his spine, cloying and uncomfortable. Why, he doesn't know— it's just there, and he doesn't like it. ]

I... perhaps we should define what that word means for us, though.

[Like a big, lazy cat, he stretches. Physical comfort giving way to the difficult conversation they could be having instead. Alhaitham scrunches his nose, pretends to bite at that finger.]

Hmm, I'm okay with that. [He settles and looks at Kaveh gently.] We don't really have to decide anything just yet, either. We can take it easy there. But I understand if you want to set expectations.

[ Another laugh as teeth snap near his finger, and he reaches out, gently covering the other's mouth with his hand, as if muzzling him for bad behavior. ]

Stop that, don't bite.

[ Scolding or no, it's affectionate, hinting at playful; he removes his hand to replace it with his mouth instead, soft and sweet as he kisses him. ]

I know we don't have to decide anything, but... [ This time, it's his nose that wrinkles, the blonde clearly deep in thought for the next few moments. ] Is it weird that I'd like to talk about it? Just for my peace of mind? We don't have to decide anything right now, but I'd like to at least... discuss it, I guess.

[Alhaitham makes a show to growl and make some more bitey motions, but the enamel doesn't even touch the skin. When Kaveh comes in and kisses him instead, he merely hums and nuzzles after, like a good big beast having been successfully tamed and pleased.]

That's alright with me. [A smooch on that wrinkled nose, hoping to soothe it.] What would a relationship mean to you, and what kind of relationship would you need and want right now?

[ He laughs again at the way Euler plays up the idea of him being some kind of tamed beast. He's not, he's the furthest thing from it, but the idea is a fun one nonetheless— so the nuzzle makes him smile. The smooch on his wrinkled nose only does even more. ]

To me...

[ Ugh. He should have been clever enough to ask first, before Euler could beat him to it. Given how complicated they are, it's...

He bites his lower lip. ]

I want you to know that I'm really tempted to say I wanna be exclusive with you. But.. we still don't know each other's real names, for starters. And to me, being exclusive would mean that I need to stop streaming, and I just can't afford to do that right now.. [ Admittedly, he's come to enjoy it too, although that's in no small part due to Euler, he's sure. ] Plus I don't wanna make you feel like you can't see other people. I'm sure you're really popular, Euler. But I..

[ Kaveh sighs, and makes a face. ]

I don't know how to define what I want.

[ Because he wants something he knows he can't have, and knows he shouldn't ask for besides. ]

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