You're just very, very sweet. [He says, chuckling, and Alhaitham means it, soft and tender and really smitten by the things Kaveh says.] If I was there with you I'd kiss you and hold you, right now.
Mm.. I wish we could. It's hard, not getting to see you that often. I get why, but... [ He sighs, curls up a little without thinking about it. ] I miss you all the time. If I had things my way, I'd see you every day.
[ At that, Kaveh sits up and grabs a blanket, wrapping it around him so he can move himself and the camera back over to the desk. It's a pity to get off the bed, but it feels like this is a sitting conversation, not a lounging one. ]
[Pharos' phone will ping with a notification. A PDF attached.]
I was looking into some things, and this showed up. However, I do feel we wouldn't engage in a pure BDSM relationship.
[He gets his own phone, swiping away.] If you scroll to pages 3 to 6, there are hard stops, soft stops, dynamic expectations, and a kink checklist. I think this is the most important part. Safewords, too.
[ He picks up his phone when it pings and downloads the pdf he's been sent, following Euler's instructions and skimming to the pages in question. ]
I agree with you. I don't want this to be only that, but... I do like the idea of involving it, so.. I think this is a good idea, like you said.
[ A hum as he considers some of what the other has said. ]
Safewords, like the traffic light system. And a kink checklist, so we'd fill that out and exchange them with each other, right? Things we want to try? And I guess stops are things that are like... not for us. Is that right? [ A slight frown. ] I don't understand "dynamic expectations" though.
Establishing one general safeword along with the colors system will be good in case any of us needs or wishes to stop right away.
[He hums, nodding.] Things we want to try, things we're not sure, things we don't believe it would be for us. [A pause.] This means individually, not exceptionally because it's you or me. I'll ask you to keep yourself in the first place when filling this out, alright?
[Shifting on his seat, he does the same and gathers his blanket over his lap. The apartment and his room are warm, just right, and he enjoys not having to wear any clothes every now and then.] That's alright, I had to search a bit on that.
'Dynamic expectations' are the agreed-upon aspects that define how the relationship works. They help make sure everyone is on the same page and knows what's expected of them.
[There's the sound of a page being turned.] Like roles and titles—they will answer questions such as: do we only wish to be a top or a bottom, or do we want to switch? Do we need to be dominant or submissive all the time? What do those roles mean? Are there specific ways we need to address each other?
We also can write how often we do check-ins, or how rewards and punishments should be doled out. Of course, we don't necessarily need to know all of this from the beginning, but they are good things to keep in mind and review as we go along.
[ He listens to what the other has to say, nodding thoughtfully as he has it explained to him. A safeword is easy enough to think out, and what Euler says makes sense about the stops as well. As much as there's a part of him that thinks he would do anything the other man wanted to try, putting those limits there is important, and he knows it. It's also, he supposes, why it's important they fill these out separately. ]
I will, I promise.
[ He offers that agreement before falling silent again, listening to the other's explanation of dynamic expectations and how they work. Occasionally he nods, or takes a note of something for himself. Only when Euler is finished does he speak up again. ]
I see. The name makes sense. Dynamic, because they're likely to grow and change as we learn more about ourselves and each other. But at the very least, I think what you said is a good place to start. Roles, titles, check-ins, rewards, punishments...
[ And because apparently he's still feeling a little cheeky, he looks away from the list and back up at the camera, batting his eyelashes. ]
[ He can't help but laugh softly at Euler's reaction. Admittedly, he thought that maybe the other would like that, but it's no skin off his nose that he doesn't. He does though like the idea of calling him something else. His head tilts, and he smiles. ]
Well.. maybe you can think about what you might like me to call you, too.
Mm... when do we want to exchange these? I mean I'll probably go through and do it today, but...
I like it when you call me Mister E, I'll be honest.[He confesses. Probably not a huge secret, considering how well he always reacted to the nickname.] You always sound so fond of it.
But I'll let you know whenever you call me something I like. I promise.
[Another flip of the page, one, two. Like he's actually holding the contract in his hand—he is.] There's a lot to think about, so let's not be rushed about it. Reading this has given me a lot of things that I hadn't even considered, so I'll also need the time. And… [he chuckles.] You were supposed to be unpacking.
Mm. I like calling you that too. But it's not the nickname I'm fond of, Euler, it's you. But.. okay. I'll just tell you when I'm done, and you can tell me when you're done, and we can... go from there, right?
[ After all, he hasn't even taken the time to read through it yet. From the way he can hear Euler flipping through pages, there's probably indeed a lot to consider that he hasn't really thought about. He'll need to take the time, go through it, perhaps even research. Decide how he feels about things...
He's brought out of his thoughts by the other's comment, and he looks around him guiltily. ]
Mm, that makes a lot of sense. Okay. This is a good starting point— I'll fill it out after reading it thoroughly, and I'll be sure to ask you if I have any questions.
[ He smiles at the admission of fault, and shakes his head. ]
Not really. I missed you too. I'm glad we got the chance to do this... it's been too long, what with my moving and everything.
[He's right there. They're missing each other and they're right there, next to each other, under the same roof. Alhaitham is sure poets have written about this.
How silly, that he'd end up in a situation such as this one.]
Has it been going well, then? [He sighs, though he knows he needs to ask for both Euler and Alhaitham's sakes.] I was concerned, considering the relationship you had with your now roommate.
[ Admittedly, he's not quite expecting the question, even though it's something they've talked about at length. He pauses thoughtfully, nose wrinkling slightly, hand moving to his forehead as he thinks about how to answer. He wants to explain everything truthfully and completely without being overly verbose, so... ]
Honestly, it's going really well. And... I have you to thank for that, Euler. I was desperate that day when I got an email from my old landlord, but I think if you hadn't said what you said about him probably just being bad with words, I wouldn't have wanted to try. I had such a negative impression of him just from those two encounters... and I realize now that was unfair. He's.. a bit of an odd guy, yeah, but he's not the jerk I'd made him out to be in my head.
Yesterday, before I could call you, he helped me a lot. And even before he came home and found me in that mess, he'd bought me a keychain as a housewarming gift. I was.. I was worried about his crush, I guess, but he's been really respectful. He was actually the one who encouraged me to message you today. I was hesitant because I didn't want to interrupt your holiday...
[ And just like that, he's managed to ramble too much already. He pauses, biting his lower lip again. ]
Anyway. Yeah. It's been going well so far. Thank you, Euler. For encouraging me.
He can't help it, so he's glad Kaveh can't see him.
While at one point he does not wish to impose any influence on Kaveh's thoughts about himself, it does relieve him that he no longer thinks so aggressively.] I'm glad you had someone to support you when you were having a rough time.
And I'd like it if you reach out to me whenever you feel like it, regardless of whether it's a holiday or not. I gave you my number [a fake, burner number, gotten all rushed at a no good time in the evening] for a reason, right?
I'm glad I do too. I'm lucky that he was patient even after I was so horrible to him. So... thanks again.
[ Kaveh's own smile in response to Euler's statement about reaching out whenever is small and shy, but still genuine. ]
You did. So I'll... do my best to remember that. I always worry about burdening people, or being too much— but I'm doing my best. I'll keep doing my best. It helps.. knowing that you like hearing from me. So I'm glad we talked about it..
I'm glad we met. Not just in person, I mean. At all. I'm really happy you found me, Euler.
[If Kaveh is too much, then others can search for less, is what Alhaitham feels like saying. There's a bunch of lectures that he feels like he could venture into. And yet, he does not, because Kaveh goes and talks so genuinely happy about meeting him in that stream.
He sighs, his voice rasping something raw and tender.] I'm glad I did, too. If anyone were to tell me that we'd end up like this, I'd tell them they're crazy. But… I'm happy we did.
Heh... I think I might have, too. I was doing it for money, I really wasn't expecting that I'd... f— that I'd meet someone like you.
[ Despite Kaveh's near slip-up, and despite his urge to take a nap, the conversation continues for some time after that. It's not until later that they actually hang up, having spoken by that stage for a few hours.
Kaveh finds himself smiling for the rest of the day. ]
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sempiternals2023-10-04 01:27 am
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[He snorts, shakes his head, sighs loud enough to be heard. Alhaitham runs a hand over his face.] You're going to be the death of me.
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I am? Why?
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He does every day from yesterday onwards and that still isn't enough.
Alhaitham smiles gently. He has no room to complain, because he gets to see Kaveh every day and knows it's him.]
I looked into a contract between us. [Best if he changes the subject, he's been meaning to talk about it, anyway.] For our… activities.
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[ At that, Kaveh sits up and grabs a blanket, wrapping it around him so he can move himself and the camera back over to the desk. It's a pity to get off the bed, but it feels like this is a sitting conversation, not a lounging one. ]
What did you find?
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I was looking into some things, and this showed up. However, I do feel we wouldn't engage in a pure BDSM relationship.
[He gets his own phone, swiping away.] If you scroll to pages 3 to 6, there are hard stops, soft stops, dynamic expectations, and a kink checklist. I think this is the most important part. Safewords, too.
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I agree with you. I don't want this to be only that, but... I do like the idea of involving it, so.. I think this is a good idea, like you said.
[ A hum as he considers some of what the other has said. ]
Safewords, like the traffic light system. And a kink checklist, so we'd fill that out and exchange them with each other, right? Things we want to try? And I guess stops are things that are like... not for us. Is that right? [ A slight frown. ] I don't understand "dynamic expectations" though.
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[He hums, nodding.] Things we want to try, things we're not sure, things we don't believe it would be for us. [A pause.] This means individually, not exceptionally because it's you or me. I'll ask you to keep yourself in the first place when filling this out, alright?
[Shifting on his seat, he does the same and gathers his blanket over his lap. The apartment and his room are warm, just right, and he enjoys not having to wear any clothes every now and then.] That's alright, I had to search a bit on that.
'Dynamic expectations' are the agreed-upon aspects that define how the relationship works. They help make sure everyone is on the same page and knows what's expected of them.
[There's the sound of a page being turned.] Like roles and titles—they will answer questions such as: do we only wish to be a top or a bottom, or do we want to switch? Do we need to be dominant or submissive all the time? What do those roles mean? Are there specific ways we need to address each other?
We also can write how often we do check-ins, or how rewards and punishments should be doled out. Of course, we don't necessarily need to know all of this from the beginning, but they are good things to keep in mind and review as we go along.
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I will, I promise.
[ He offers that agreement before falling silent again, listening to the other's explanation of dynamic expectations and how they work. Occasionally he nods, or takes a note of something for himself. Only when Euler is finished does he speak up again. ]
I see. The name makes sense. Dynamic, because they're likely to grow and change as we learn more about ourselves and each other. But at the very least, I think what you said is a good place to start. Roles, titles, check-ins, rewards, punishments...
[ And because apparently he's still feeling a little cheeky, he looks away from the list and back up at the camera, batting his eyelashes. ]
Should I call you 'sir'~?
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[He scoffs, chuckling.] I...'d rather you didn't.
Though… [a hum as he thinks.] If I get to call you 'baby', I suppose you can call me something in return.
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Well.. maybe you can think about what you might like me to call you, too.
Mm... when do we want to exchange these? I mean I'll probably go through and do it today, but...
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But I'll let you know whenever you call me something I like. I promise.
[Another flip of the page, one, two. Like he's actually holding the contract in his hand—he is.] There's a lot to think about, so let's not be rushed about it. Reading this has given me a lot of things that I hadn't even considered, so I'll also need the time. And… [he chuckles.] You were supposed to be unpacking.
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[ After all, he hasn't even taken the time to read through it yet. From the way he can hear Euler flipping through pages, there's probably indeed a lot to consider that he hasn't really thought about. He'll need to take the time, go through it, perhaps even research. Decide how he feels about things...
He's brought out of his thoughts by the other's comment, and he looks around him guiltily. ]
I was... I guess we kind of got distracted, huh.
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[He's amused, though, even if he's sort of pleased that he was successful:] It was my fault. I missed you.
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[ He smiles at the admission of fault, and shakes his head. ]
Not really. I missed you too. I'm glad we got the chance to do this... it's been too long, what with my moving and everything.
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How silly, that he'd end up in a situation such as this one.]
Has it been going well, then? [He sighs, though he knows he needs to ask for both Euler and Alhaitham's sakes.] I was concerned, considering the relationship you had with your now roommate.
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Honestly, it's going really well. And... I have you to thank for that, Euler. I was desperate that day when I got an email from my old landlord, but I think if you hadn't said what you said about him probably just being bad with words, I wouldn't have wanted to try. I had such a negative impression of him just from those two encounters... and I realize now that was unfair. He's.. a bit of an odd guy, yeah, but he's not the jerk I'd made him out to be in my head.
Yesterday, before I could call you, he helped me a lot. And even before he came home and found me in that mess, he'd bought me a keychain as a housewarming gift. I was.. I was worried about his crush, I guess, but he's been really respectful. He was actually the one who encouraged me to message you today. I was hesitant because I didn't want to interrupt your holiday...
[ And just like that, he's managed to ramble too much already. He pauses, biting his lower lip again. ]
Anyway. Yeah. It's been going well so far. Thank you, Euler. For encouraging me.
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He can't help it, so he's glad Kaveh can't see him.
While at one point he does not wish to impose any influence on Kaveh's thoughts about himself, it does relieve him that he no longer thinks so aggressively.] I'm glad you had someone to support you when you were having a rough time.
And I'd like it if you reach out to me whenever you feel like it, regardless of whether it's a holiday or not. I gave you my number [a fake, burner number, gotten all rushed at a no good time in the evening] for a reason, right?
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[ Kaveh's own smile in response to Euler's statement about reaching out whenever is small and shy, but still genuine. ]
You did. So I'll... do my best to remember that. I always worry about burdening people, or being too much— but I'm doing my best. I'll keep doing my best. It helps.. knowing that you like hearing from me. So I'm glad we talked about it..
I'm glad we met. Not just in person, I mean. At all. I'm really happy you found me, Euler.
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He sighs, his voice rasping something raw and tender.] I'm glad I did, too. If anyone were to tell me that we'd end up like this, I'd tell them they're crazy. But… I'm happy we did.
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[ Despite Kaveh's near slip-up, and despite his urge to take a nap, the conversation continues for some time after that. It's not until later that they actually hang up, having spoken by that stage for a few hours.
Kaveh finds himself smiling for the rest of the day. ]