[ Kaveh nods quietly as he processes the words. Two hours seems about right from how he feels— refreshed, if not for the strangeness of the dream that caused him to stir. He untangles his hands, offers the older man a small, embarrassed smile, and reaches up to dash away the wetness from the corners of his eyes. ]
Yeah, I'm alright. Just dreams. Like always. It's hard to explain, I guess, but—
[ Well, actually, he doesn't know anything, does he? When it comes to what he does and doesn't know about Wriothesley, the second column is still far larger, and something they've never talked about is family...
And usually, Kaveh would tell himself not to pry, but he's still more asleep than he is awake, and so the question comes out before he even really gives it proper thought: ]
Do you think about your family often, Wriothesley?
( He dabs a thumb over his cheekbone where the tear had just crossed, shifting himself higher on the bed so properly hold Kaveh more comfortably. )
Nightmares, I see.
( Did he not fuck him hard enough to wipe his mind clear? He offers a soft smile, one that wipes off immediately as soon as his family is mentioned— he has been keeping a lot from Kaveh, even the basics.
Though it would be pointless to hold up his guard anymore, especially when they will spend more time together. Although he seems reluctant, it doesn’t have to do with actually giving out the information— but more so Kaveh’s reaction to it. )
Ah, sometimes. I was an orphan. I doubt I’d ever get to meet my real family.
I was taken in by foster parents and I had a decent upbringing with a lot of siblings.
( He twists his finger around a golden lock. )
Have you heard any rumors about how I ended up a prisoner here?
[ When Wriothesley moves higher on the bed, Kaveh shifts in so that he can also rest more comfortably, smiling softly as he looks up at the Duke— although his expression fades a little in tune with the other's, into something softer and perhaps even worried. The finger curling around his hair is lovely, but what concerns him is—
...Mm, maybe there are a few things that concern him. ]
I'm sorry. I... can't imagine how that must feel.
[ In answer to Wriothesley's question, Kaveh shakes his head. The truth is, people have tried to speak to him of the rumors surrounding the Duke many times; despite his desire to know as much about the other as he can, he's gently rebuffed the speakers each and every time it's come up. If he's going to learn about the important things like that, he wants to learn from the man himself, not from the rumor mill.
He tilts his head into the other's touch, eyes fluttering closed. ]
( He appreciates the courtesy from Kaveh. Most people do pry and they do make up wild rumors that have some foundation from the time the previous warden was overthrown. He keeps looking at him for a moment before his eyes avert to the notepad and he wraps his arm around Kaveh's shoulders to keep him close. )
I can't miss something I never had to begin with, but it doesn't mean I don't wish for it at times. That's time I will never get to live again.
( In hindsight, he'd take all of Kaveh's suffering and pile it on his shoulders if it meant living a truly happy childhood. Even if it's a few years. )
My foster parents built this glass paradise for me and my siblings, it was a system deeply rooted in nobility and the wealthy. Once we were old enough, they'd send us to better families.
I was still a kid when I found out every waking second of this perfect life was nothing but a lie. They weren't giving these kids a second chance but a dead end. I learned they were only raising us to be sold off for sex. Those who made it, who knows what became of them, but those who were not obedient were, to put it lightly, erased from this world.
So I ran away for a few years and took up labor jobs while living off the streets. When I was strong enough, I came back and killed them. There was no other type of justice that would have saved those kids. They would have paid someone to frame, or get rid of evidence. I know how pigs like that work.
Then I pleaded guilty and I've been living here ever since. I don't regret it.
[ Every sentence of Wriothesley's story carries the weight of its next: as eloquently as he speaks, Kaveh knows there is more to come. Though of course, it's likely that knowledge comes only from the fact that there's nothing within the story that paints the Duke as someone requiring incarceration. For a moment, he wonders— even as he can start to see in his heart where the conclusion of the story will sit— if the warden was framed, placed here due to his own resistance of a horrifying system. But that's not to be, either. He killed them, he says, with no remorse, with no regret, and Kaveh feels vaguely like he's going to throw up.
What Wriothesley's foster parents were doing— what those monsters were doing, he thinks— was nothing short of awful. But killing them is still... murder is still...
Kaveh doesn't even notice that his hand has drifted to splay across his neck, stretching over the space where the crook of the other's arm cinched tight earlier, stealing from him the ability to breathe, and he remembers thinking that something about the other's actions felt more serious than he would have imagined, and— ]
I—
[ So what does this make the other man? A hero, for saving all those other kids? A villain, for taking two lives because he decided on his own there was no other way? As far as he knows, the warden has faith in Fontaine's justice system now, so what about it changed? And those hands...
those hands that have touched him so gently, hands that have brought him screaming over the edge of pleasure,
covered in blood. ]
I— I'm sorry, I'm not really... I don't quite— I'm not sure how to process— I need a minute.
[ But he doesn't pull away; nor does he free himself of the arms wound around his shoulders. ]
( The silence could break Fortress walls, extraordinarily minute to the point he begins hearing his heart beating loudly. His hold on Kaveh loosens to give him the space and the option to escape now while he can. Pain is inevitable but if he leaves now it would carve a smaller wound, and Wriothesley can move on from the moments they shared or Kaveh's allure. This wasn't meant to be.
He glances over at him, seeing him trace the ghostly pressure on his neck he had once applied in the bathroom. His parents didn't die as a result of choking, no. Inexperienced and frantic, Wriothesley punched and punched and punched until their bodies were bloodied and they didn't move anymore. He suffered many cuts as a result of them defending their pitiful, wasteful lives and they almost dragged Wriothesley into hell with them. )
I'm not going anywhere. I don't want you to go anywhere either.
[ If Kaveh sounds irritable, it's not on purpose. He just doesn't know how to properly manage his feelings right now, caught somewhere between understanding, fear, and some other distant emotion he can't quite place. Something that feels like anger, but isn't. Something that wants him to judge the other even when he can't bring himself to do so, even when he knows in his heart it's not his place.
Wriothesley, he thinks, should have told him sooner— but he understands why he didn't. Just as he thinks he understands why the other made the choices he did, even though his heart would condemn them.
(But then again, how many times has he been told he's too naĂŻve? How many times has a friend warned him that if he's not careful, he'll see the sharp end of an Eremite blade after choosing only to knock a would-be robber out and walking away? When he really stops to think about it... how many of his friends have hands similarly stained?)
Archons, he's going to be sick.
Despite his words just a moment ago, Kaveh finds himself pushing free, staggering out of the bed. Something falls from his lips, some promise that he's not leaving, that he just needs a moment, but he's not sure it makes any real sense; he makes it to the toilet just in time to throw himself over it, eyes closing as he heaves up the contents of his stomach.
And, as tears prick at the corners of his eyes, the old-fashioned guilt sets in amidst the shock. Wriothesley surely struggled with the decision to tell him this, horrible as it may be... and instead of standing his ground and offering his support to the man he loves for the awful, unwinnable situation in which he found himself, he's hunched over in the bathroom, the bitter taste of bile on his lips. ]
( The underlying betrayal of keeping to himself comes back to prove his secrecy wrong. Telling Kaveh sooner than later should have been in the books, he should have repelled him from the get-go rather than pull on every one of his heartstrings until this point. At least he knows now the true nature of Kaveh's soul and all the kindness in his life. He wouldn't be having this reaction, silent and staggered if he weren't sound of morals. For that, Wriothesley is satisfied, but at what cost?
Seeing him rush out of bed and his arms to the bathroom, where his sickened sounds echo louder than ever? He can't blame him but his chest still throbs. He gets out of bed to follow just to stop by his closet so he can dress himself fully. Listening to Kaveh from there gradually convinces him that leaving is in fact, for the best.
A note awaits Kaveh in bed, reading: I'll be back soon. )
[ It's close to five minutes before Kaveh emerges from the bathroom, face pale and eyes even redder than normal, chest aching from the physical strain as well as the emotional pain of what has transpired between them, of the knowledge now held in his heart.
The room is empty— he can see that from a room away, and thus never gets close enough to spy the note— and he feels like he's going to be sick all over again.
Fuck. He fucked up. The guilt sits like lead, reminding him of how he took the other's trust and turned it into his own pain, wallowing in an ache that wasn't his instead of allowing himself to be someone the other could rely on. He knows now what he has to say, but surely it's too late for him to make it up, to fix the wall he's just put down between the two of them.
By the time the other man does get back, he'll find the blonde pacing back and forth in his room, tears on his cheeks and body trembling. Especially after being sick, and with his body still healing, he's not in much of a state to be constantly moving back and forth— but he can't bring himself to stop. ]
( "Thanks, Sigewinne," he says on the other side of the Fortress, pipes and systems, rooms and walls away from Kaveh. Yet even here, he feels the ache in his heart knowing Kaveh is sick because of him. He can patch him up countless times, he can stitch him back together and at the end of the day, Kaveh will still break. It is as if he's once again a prisoner of his actions, held to a degree far more destructive than that of Neuvillette's trial.
A sentence implies of a light at the end of a tunnel, but with Kaveh, every turn is pitch darkness and as much as he tries following Kaveh through it they still end up lost.
He comes back with more materials to change the bandages on his chest, painkillers and something for the episode Kaveh just suffered. As soon as he enters his room he's left frozen at the door. )
[ He looks up when the door opens; he doesn't even really register what Wriothesley is holding or what that means for where he's been, just charges across the floor even as the other speaks to launch himself into him, his arms winding tight around the other's waist as he presses in close. ]
No, [ he murmurs, and he hopes he's audible; his voice is a little broken up from all the vomiting and the crying, making him sound a little more like he's whispering. His eyes close, spilling fresh tears onto the other man's shirt. ]
You did the right thing by telling me. You should have told me sooner. I'm sorry I reacted so badly.
[ There's more to say, obviously. An apology for his reaction isn't enough; he has to address the cause of it, has to talk about what it means, but— but for now, he needs to at least make this part clear. ]
( He drops the bag of assortments the moment Kaveh's weight is pushed onto him, gripping his arms around him. A roll of gauze makes its way to the middle of the room as they stand, Wriothesley holds onto him back. He closes his eyes to bury his face to his neck, breathing in regret despite Kaveh quelling the tension in his heart. )
You reacted as a normal person should.
( He leaves his temple with a strong, silent kiss so he can veer away to face him. So at least Kaveh isn't leaving because of it, but something still feels unsettling. )
[ He shakes his head when the other man tells him that he reacted as he should. He disagrees with the statement, and it's no doubt obvious even in the way his eyes shine as he pulls back to look up at the other man. ]
No. [ Another shake of his head. ] I told you already that I'm in love with you. That means I... I should be prepared to support you, and to— I should have heard you out properly before just... freaking out.
[ He sighs softly, and blinks against the fresh onslaught of tears welling at the corners of his eyes. ]
I... I don't agree with what you did. I want to believe that there's always another way, no matter what. But— but I understand that you didn't have many options open to you. And how much pain you were in, and...
No. That's not something you should feel compelled to support. ( Because there's more skeletons in his closet. He's not so morally deranged as the act itself, perhaps Kaveh means something along the lines of accepting him for his past. He would never want Kaveh to carry this weight in his heart, or the blood on his hands.
Wriothesley's features seem to soften as soon as Kaveh disagrees with his actions. As he should. )
Look at these tears. That's the real tragedy.
( He wipes his thumb over his cheekbone, scooping up a runaway but the humor ends there. Kaveh's confessions, his I love yous roll faster off of his lips. He's not sure what they are now, but he knows they're not exactly just friends. )
[ He shoots Wriothesley a Look, half prepared to start scolding the other for making jokes at a time like this, but then the older man says something softer, more vulnerable, and Kaveh's heart trembles in his chest. ]
Is that why you waited for so long to tell me?
[ He leans up, arms anchoring tight around the other man's shoulders as he presses a soft, sweet kiss into his mouth. ]
You're not gonna lose me. [ His fingers run up and over the other's jaw, his cheek, into his hair, threading across the scalp. ] I... thank you. For trusting me to tell me the truth.
Possibly. ( He says in another light tone, trying to steer away from the heaviness in the air. He leaves his arms around Kaveh's waist, loosening as the tension fades and relief begins to settle. He'd listen to Kaveh scold him any time of the day if it meant keeping him around. That's the paradox dwelling in his chest, tugging at his points of contention. One burns with the need to spare Kaveh of this life, and the other will stop at nothing to have him.
The affection has him tamed once again, eyes shutting as Kaveh's hands lose themselves through his hair. That's how he somehow gets reminded: )
I brought you some things. I didn't think you'd be in the mood to eat after all that.
[ But the other man keeps talking, bringing Kaveh's attention back to those things he was holding when he walked into the room, to the gauze that rolled across the floor. With a soft sigh, the blonde pulls back; the other man has already told him something huge today, he's not going to try to force more out of him when it's clear he's trying to draw them away from it. Sure, there's probably still a lot for them to discuss, but... Wriothesley's not a kid anymore. He's a Duke, the administrator of the Fortress of Meropide, a leader in his own right. He's not the same person he was when he took his parents' justice into his own hands.
They can let it rest, for now. ]
Right now, my stomach feels gross. I guess I'll be hungry later but... yeah. Not right now. [ He tucks himself back into the other's embrace, eyes drifting closed. ] I saw the gauze. What else did you bring for me?
( The Duke, self-made Administrator of the Fortress can break or make any rules he wishes. If one should die, he will see that it that it happens. The previous Administrator must have known his fate upon their duel, fleeing the depths to never be seen or heard of again - barely escaping his fate to die at Wriothesley's hands.
After a few moments of Kaveh leaning back against his arms and holding him, he leans away to glance down at him. )
Just some painkillers, antiseptic cream for your chest, and some more lube.
( He walks past him so he can gather back the things into the bag and sets it all on his desk. He had taken the time to text Navia. I told him about my parents. . . And I've been fucking him. )
[ When he gets a chance to look at his phone next, Wriothesley will find a text in response: ] I was going to write back and say "yay" but that doesn't feel like enough for the first part of your message. Am I reading it correctly? That's a really big decision. How did he take it? How do you feel?
I'm proud of you.
[ His expression is soft with tenderness as Wriothesley explains the rest of what he got— but then Kaveh laughs, an amused brightness in his eyes as the other man moves past him to gather everything and put it on the desk. He moves to follow, arms creeping around the taller man's waist from behind, head resting against the line of his backbone. ]
Lube too, huh? I see you weren't that worried about losing me.
[ It's a joke, spoken in a tone light-hearted and silly, but Kaveh makes sure to press a kiss to his clothed back anyway. ]
( He would be lying if he didn't confess the weight off his shoulders having admitted his past to Kaveh. Surely, there are more questions left for him to pick up after the initial reaction, considering it was the abrupt end to their conversation. However, perhaps they shouldn't delve into it again. The fact is already out in the open. )
Heh.
( He lifts an arm over as he twists himself around to drape his arms over Kaveh's shoulders. The rims of his eyes still seem reddened by his episode. He's glad to meet the same warmth in his eyes, though. )
[ It seems at first perhaps like a non-committal answer, but there's a smile on Kaveh's face, something content and warm in his gaze as he presses a kiss to the corner of Wriothesley's lips.
How is he feeling..? ]
Tired. [ He admits it with a soft laugh. He'd only had a nap before the revelation, but the immediate trauma his body went through apparently has something to say about how tired he is. But also... ] My stomach still feels a little strange. Other than that, I'm alright.
[ But really, is it even about how he's feeling? What about— ]
How are you feeling? That... can't have been easy.
( Besides, he's not going to fault Kaveh for vomiting his feelings upon learning the truth. He catches Kaveh's lips for a quick kiss before leading him back to the bed by his hands. )
I feel like weight has been taken off my shoulders, at least, knowing you won't be turning away because of it.
[ Another hum of content surfaces on Kaveh's lips as he's drawn back to the bed, his fingers tight in Wriothesley's; the moment he settles into the covers, he curls himself into the other, delivering small, soft kisses to his cheek and jaw, brushing up against the corner of his lips.
The other's words pull him back to reality a little though, and his fingers knit tighter, shifting so that he can kiss him properly, a firm catch of his lips on the warden's, as if he were sealing a promise. ]
I'm not going anywhere. [ He says it again. ] You're stuck with me.
( Being in bed with Kaveh again feels nothing short of surreal. The chance of losing him so quick after telling him about his feelings, or after divulging his past could have been a true risk. He turns on his side to face him and to properly take a hold of his face with one hand, puckering him like a fish. )
Stuck with you? I suppose I can make other people do my errands, huh?
( He kisses said fish lips and leaves them with a smirk. )
I also got you some essential oils. Sigewinne produces some of the best stuff around here. Want a massage?
[ Fish lips or not, the sound Kaveh makes in protest is more of a squawk, although he finds himself laughing at the way the other leans in to kiss him, despite how much of a brat he's being.
(Brat: a terminology kind of weird when describing Wriothesley, he thinks, even if it fits in this moment in particular.) ]
Good. Do it. And I'll make someone do my job too and we can just stay in bed all day.
[ Another laugh, although the sound trails off to leave him with wide, curious eyes in response to the other's offer. ]
A massage? ...Yeah, I'd. I've never had one before. I'd really like that. If you don't mind.
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sempiternals2023-11-16 11:24 pm
no subject
Yeah, I'm alright. Just dreams. Like always. It's hard to explain, I guess, but—
[ Well, actually, he doesn't know anything, does he? When it comes to what he does and doesn't know about Wriothesley, the second column is still far larger, and something they've never talked about is family...
And usually, Kaveh would tell himself not to pry, but he's still more asleep than he is awake, and so the question comes out before he even really gives it proper thought: ]
Do you think about your family often, Wriothesley?
no subject
Nightmares, I see.
( Did he not fuck him hard enough to wipe his mind clear?
He offers a soft smile, one that wipes off immediately as soon as his family is mentioned— he has been keeping a lot from Kaveh, even the basics.
Though it would be pointless to hold up his guard anymore, especially when they will spend more time together. Although he seems reluctant, it doesn’t have to do with actually giving out the information— but more so Kaveh’s reaction to it. )
Ah, sometimes. I was an orphan. I doubt I’d ever get to meet my real family.
I was taken in by foster parents and I had a decent upbringing with a lot of siblings.
( He twists his finger around a golden lock. )
Have you heard any rumors about how I ended up a prisoner here?
no subject
...Mm, maybe there are a few things that concern him. ]
I'm sorry. I... can't imagine how that must feel.
[ In answer to Wriothesley's question, Kaveh shakes his head. The truth is, people have tried to speak to him of the rumors surrounding the Duke many times; despite his desire to know as much about the other as he can, he's gently rebuffed the speakers each and every time it's come up. If he's going to learn about the important things like that, he wants to learn from the man himself, not from the rumor mill.
He tilts his head into the other's touch, eyes fluttering closed. ]
Will you tell me about it?
no subject
I can't miss something I never had to begin with, but it doesn't mean I don't wish for it at times. That's time I will never get to live again.
( In hindsight, he'd take all of Kaveh's suffering and pile it on his shoulders if it meant living a truly happy childhood. Even if it's a few years. )
My foster parents built this glass paradise for me and my siblings, it was a system deeply rooted in nobility and the wealthy. Once we were old enough, they'd send us to better families.
I was still a kid when I found out every waking second of this perfect life was nothing but a lie. They weren't giving these kids a second chance but a dead end. I learned they were only raising us to be sold off for sex. Those who made it, who knows what became of them, but those who were not obedient were, to put it lightly, erased from this world.
So I ran away for a few years and took up labor jobs while living off the streets. When I was strong enough, I came back and killed them. There was no other type of justice that would have saved those kids. They would have paid someone to frame, or get rid of evidence. I know how pigs like that work.
Then I pleaded guilty and I've been living here ever since. I don't regret it.
no subject
What Wriothesley's foster parents were doing— what those monsters were doing, he thinks— was nothing short of awful. But killing them is still... murder is still...
Kaveh doesn't even notice that his hand has drifted to splay across his neck, stretching over the space where the crook of the other's arm cinched tight earlier, stealing from him the ability to breathe, and he remembers thinking that something about the other's actions felt more serious than he would have imagined, and— ]
I—
[ So what does this make the other man? A hero, for saving all those other kids? A villain, for taking two lives because he decided on his own there was no other way? As far as he knows, the warden has faith in Fontaine's justice system now, so what about it changed? And those hands...
those hands that have touched him so gently,
hands that have brought him screaming over the edge of pleasure,
covered in blood. ]
I— I'm sorry, I'm not really... I don't quite— I'm not sure how to process— I need a minute.
[ But he doesn't pull away; nor does he free himself of the arms wound around his shoulders. ]
no subject
He glances over at him, seeing him trace the ghostly pressure on his neck he had once applied in the bathroom. His parents didn't die as a result of choking, no. Inexperienced and frantic, Wriothesley punched and punched and punched until their bodies were bloodied and they didn't move anymore. He suffered many cuts as a result of them defending their pitiful, wasteful lives and they almost dragged Wriothesley into hell with them. )
I can step out if you need me to.
no subject
[ If Kaveh sounds irritable, it's not on purpose. He just doesn't know how to properly manage his feelings right now, caught somewhere between understanding, fear, and some other distant emotion he can't quite place. Something that feels like anger, but isn't. Something that wants him to judge the other even when he can't bring himself to do so, even when he knows in his heart it's not his place.
Wriothesley, he thinks, should have told him sooner— but he understands why he didn't. Just as he thinks he understands why the other made the choices he did, even though his heart would condemn them.
(But then again, how many times has he been told he's too naĂŻve? How many times has a friend warned him that if he's not careful, he'll see the sharp end of an Eremite blade after choosing only to knock a would-be robber out and walking away? When he really stops to think about it... how many of his friends have hands similarly stained?)
Archons, he's going to be sick.
Despite his words just a moment ago, Kaveh finds himself pushing free, staggering out of the bed. Something falls from his lips, some promise that he's not leaving, that he just needs a moment, but he's not sure it makes any real sense; he makes it to the toilet just in time to throw himself over it, eyes closing as he heaves up the contents of his stomach.
And, as tears prick at the corners of his eyes, the old-fashioned guilt sets in amidst the shock. Wriothesley surely struggled with the decision to tell him this, horrible as it may be... and instead of standing his ground and offering his support to the man he loves for the awful, unwinnable situation in which he found himself, he's hunched over in the bathroom, the bitter taste of bile on his lips. ]
...Fuck.
no subject
( The underlying betrayal of keeping to himself comes back to prove his secrecy wrong. Telling Kaveh sooner than later should have been in the books, he should have repelled him from the get-go rather than pull on every one of his heartstrings until this point. At least he knows now the true nature of Kaveh's soul and all the kindness in his life. He wouldn't be having this reaction, silent and staggered if he weren't sound of morals. For that, Wriothesley is satisfied, but at what cost?
Seeing him rush out of bed and his arms to the bathroom, where his sickened sounds echo louder than ever? He can't blame him but his chest still throbs. He gets out of bed to follow just to stop by his closet so he can dress himself fully. Listening to Kaveh from there gradually convinces him that leaving is in fact, for the best.
A note awaits Kaveh in bed, reading: I'll be back soon. )
no subject
The room is empty— he can see that from a room away, and thus never gets close enough to spy the note— and he feels like he's going to be sick all over again.
Fuck. He fucked up. The guilt sits like lead, reminding him of how he took the other's trust and turned it into his own pain, wallowing in an ache that wasn't his instead of allowing himself to be someone the other could rely on. He knows now what he has to say, but surely it's too late for him to make it up, to fix the wall he's just put down between the two of them.
By the time the other man does get back, he'll find the blonde pacing back and forth in his room, tears on his cheeks and body trembling. Especially after being sick, and with his body still healing, he's not in much of a state to be constantly moving back and forth— but he can't bring himself to stop. ]
no subject
A sentence implies of a light at the end of a tunnel, but with Kaveh, every turn is pitch darkness and as much as he tries following Kaveh through it they still end up lost.
He comes back with more materials to change the bandages on his chest, painkillers and something for the episode Kaveh just suffered. As soon as he enters his room he's left frozen at the door. )
Kaveh...
I shouldn't have told you.
no subject
No, [ he murmurs, and he hopes he's audible; his voice is a little broken up from all the vomiting and the crying, making him sound a little more like he's whispering. His eyes close, spilling fresh tears onto the other man's shirt. ]
You did the right thing by telling me. You should have told me sooner. I'm sorry I reacted so badly.
[ There's more to say, obviously. An apology for his reaction isn't enough; he has to address the cause of it, has to talk about what it means, but— but for now, he needs to at least make this part clear. ]
no subject
You reacted as a normal person should.
( He leaves his temple with a strong, silent kiss so he can veer away to face him. So at least Kaveh isn't leaving because of it, but something still feels unsettling. )
Don't apologize for that.
no subject
No. [ Another shake of his head. ] I told you already that I'm in love with you. That means I... I should be prepared to support you, and to— I should have heard you out properly before just... freaking out.
[ He sighs softly, and blinks against the fresh onslaught of tears welling at the corners of his eyes. ]
I... I don't agree with what you did. I want to believe that there's always another way, no matter what. But— but I understand that you didn't have many options open to you. And how much pain you were in, and...
[ Kaveh breathes out another soft, shaky sigh. ]
I'm always gonna be on your side, Wriothesley.
no subject
( Because there's more skeletons in his closet. He's not so morally deranged as the act itself, perhaps Kaveh means something along the lines of accepting him for his past. He would never want Kaveh to carry this weight in his heart, or the blood on his hands.
Wriothesley's features seem to soften as soon as Kaveh disagrees with his actions. As he should. )
Look at these tears. That's the real tragedy.
( He wipes his thumb over his cheekbone, scooping up a runaway but the humor ends there. Kaveh's confessions, his I love yous roll faster off of his lips. He's not sure what they are now, but he knows they're not exactly just friends. )
I thought I'd lose you.
no subject
Is that why you waited for so long to tell me?
[ He leans up, arms anchoring tight around the other man's shoulders as he presses a soft, sweet kiss into his mouth. ]
You're not gonna lose me. [ His fingers run up and over the other's jaw, his cheek, into his hair, threading across the scalp. ] I... thank you. For trusting me to tell me the truth.
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( He says in another light tone, trying to steer away from the heaviness in the air. He leaves his arms around Kaveh's waist, loosening as the tension fades and relief begins to settle. He'd listen to Kaveh scold him any time of the day if it meant keeping him around. That's the paradox dwelling in his chest, tugging at his points of contention. One burns with the need to spare Kaveh of this life, and the other will stop at nothing to have him.
The affection has him tamed once again, eyes shutting as Kaveh's hands lose themselves through his hair. That's how he somehow gets reminded: )
I brought you some things. I didn't think you'd be in the mood to eat after all that.
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[ But the other man keeps talking, bringing Kaveh's attention back to those things he was holding when he walked into the room, to the gauze that rolled across the floor. With a soft sigh, the blonde pulls back; the other man has already told him something huge today, he's not going to try to force more out of him when it's clear he's trying to draw them away from it. Sure, there's probably still a lot for them to discuss, but... Wriothesley's not a kid anymore. He's a Duke, the administrator of the Fortress of Meropide, a leader in his own right. He's not the same person he was when he took his parents' justice into his own hands.
They can let it rest, for now. ]
Right now, my stomach feels gross. I guess I'll be hungry later but... yeah. Not right now. [ He tucks himself back into the other's embrace, eyes drifting closed. ] I saw the gauze. What else did you bring for me?
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After a few moments of Kaveh leaning back against his arms and holding him, he leans away to glance down at him. )
Just some painkillers, antiseptic cream for your chest, and some more lube.
( He walks past him so he can gather back the things into the bag and sets it all on his desk. He had taken the time to text Navia. I told him about my parents. . . And I've been fucking him. )
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How do you feel?
I'm proud of you.
[ His expression is soft with tenderness as Wriothesley explains the rest of what he got— but then Kaveh laughs, an amused brightness in his eyes as the other man moves past him to gather everything and put it on the desk. He moves to follow, arms creeping around the taller man's waist from behind, head resting against the line of his backbone. ]
Lube too, huh? I see you weren't that worried about losing me.
[ It's a joke, spoken in a tone light-hearted and silly, but Kaveh makes sure to press a kiss to his clothed back anyway. ]
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Heh.
( He lifts an arm over as he twists himself around to drape his arms over Kaveh's shoulders. The rims of his eyes still seem reddened by his episode. He's glad to meet the same warmth in his eyes, though. )
How are you feeling?
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[ It seems at first perhaps like a non-committal answer, but there's a smile on Kaveh's face, something content and warm in his gaze as he presses a kiss to the corner of Wriothesley's lips.
How is he feeling..? ]
Tired. [ He admits it with a soft laugh. He'd only had a nap before the revelation, but the immediate trauma his body went through apparently has something to say about how tired he is. But also... ] My stomach still feels a little strange. Other than that, I'm alright.
[ But really, is it even about how he's feeling? What about— ]
How are you feeling? That... can't have been easy.
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( Besides, he's not going to fault Kaveh for vomiting his feelings upon learning the truth. He catches Kaveh's lips for a quick kiss before leading him back to the bed by his hands. )
I feel like weight has been taken off my shoulders, at least, knowing you won't be turning away because of it.
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The other's words pull him back to reality a little though, and his fingers knit tighter, shifting so that he can kiss him properly, a firm catch of his lips on the warden's, as if he were sealing a promise. ]
I'm not going anywhere. [ He says it again. ] You're stuck with me.
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Stuck with you? I suppose I can make other people do my errands, huh?
( He kisses said fish lips and leaves them with a smirk. )
I also got you some essential oils. Sigewinne produces some of the best stuff around here. Want a massage?
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(Brat: a terminology kind of weird when describing Wriothesley, he thinks, even if it fits in this moment in particular.) ]
Good. Do it. And I'll make someone do my job too and we can just stay in bed all day.
[ Another laugh, although the sound trails off to leave him with wide, curious eyes in response to the other's offer. ]
A massage? ...Yeah, I'd. I've never had one before. I'd really like that. If you don't mind.
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