sempiternals | softer than rain, harder than pain

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softer than rain, harder than pain | @dawnbreaked

[ Trusting him was a mistake.

It was easier when she was a free agent, not having to worry about anyone else, focusing only on what she needed, what her company needed, working on a professional and not personal level, keeping her distance from others and letting them keep their distance from her.

It was lonely, but it was easier.

As a free agent, for example, she never would have been pacing the kitchen of the Dawn Winery with clenched fists and burning eyes, trying not to just snap and break something while Diluc's staff tend to him behind closed doors, caring for him through an unconsciousness going on at least a few hours now. She wouldn't be trembling with the cold horror of her Vision's resonance, nor dealing with tears she's unable to hide, sparkling as they are like diamonds frosted to her eyelashes. It wouldn't have been her for whom Kaeya came running, grave anxiety written over his face, tears of his own evident in the redness of his eyes and cheeks despite his attempts to hide them; she wouldn't have even known this was happening—

Somehow the thought does nothing to ease her churning, angry stomach. Eula closes her eyes and cups a hand over her mouth, convinced for a moment she's going to vomit. The free hand waves away whatever staff member it is who's trying to comfort her— she doesn't know these people, not enough for this— before coming to rest on the counter in front of her. She can feel the anxiety trembling through her skin where it contacts the furniture.

I swear, Ragnvindr, she thinks, a tight hold on the counter as if that will somehow make it better, if you get through this I'm going to kill you myself.

...

He'd better get through this. ]

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(Another flare up.

It's evident that he's just barely holding himself back but with the way that smoldering flame seems to be near igniting, fingers clenching tightly with him noticing his heat is at a level beyond his usual with this. Likely from the weeks of frustration but taking his eyes off her near feels impossible with him attempting to not act just yet being tested not only by the way she just made a show of licking her lips, but her words given in response.

His imagination flaring is making this worse too knowing that he's quite literally feeling as if he's on fire. All she has to do is push one more time by the look in his eyes and he'll break apart so easily from the frustration, from how much he wants her even as he tries to remind himself that they should finish eating in futility. There's not a chance they will at this rate.

Not with the way he's looking at her, having to completely concentrate instead of talking since he can't rip his eyes away long enough for anything else now in the way he's close to putting her against the table like this nearly or close to dragging her into his lap. His mind hasn't made a decision yet there but it's likely going to be his lap.)

... gods. (Though he says it more to himself, his tone betrays him in his hunger, his fire filled hunger that so badly wants to flood him through the restraint he's just barely holding against her. He's going to wind up doing something that dangerous knowing that with his heat the way it is, that it will be a miracle if he doesn't burn her.

... even if he doubts she'd mind that.)

[ ...They're not going to finish their dinner, are they.

It's a realization that strikes her the moment she sees the way his eyes hone in on her, the way she feels his heat spike despite the distance between them, and Eula swallows against the dryness in her mouth, such contrast to the wet heat between her legs. The single word murmured under his breath does little to help her, a shudder dancing down her spine at the thought that even her awkwardly honest words could affect him in such a way. It's a visceral thing, visible in the way her fingers shake once more, this time enough to drop her fork she's holding, the clatter of metal against ceramic echoing loudly in the too-quiet room.

She played too close to the flame this time.

Eula takes a breath, her eyes closing for a moment— as if somehow she can steady herself against the tide of her desire. And this time, the brush of her tongue over her lip is absent at best, far from the deliberate display of just moments ago. Where she was teasing, she's now too caught up in it, struggling to focus on anything that isn't him... ]

The food... [ It's a helpless murmur as her eyes open again, a desperate grasp toward the internal promise she made herself even before she knocked at his door. They're meant to finish eating before they fall into each other— ] You worked so hard on it, Diluc.

[ As if it will somehow help the situation— liquid resilience, perhaps?— Eula reaches for her wine glass and tips the rest of the liquid into her mouth. ]

(Controlling himself is so difficult, so much more harder knowing that they were both wanting. She didn't just play too close to his flame but she managed to make it grow more with how much longer he himself had to abstain from touching her as much as he wanted to. This thought was driving him insane too, that aching want that wants to surround the two of them with him knowing she can just as easily reach over to grab his tie once he absentmindedly pops another Samosa into his mouth since his own part of the meal wasn't too far from finished.

He's trying to wait so that she can finish if anything.

It's obvious that's what he's trying to do knowing were he to wait any longer than that his patience is going to run out before he can remotely get anywhere near done on anything else with her. He can do that much knowing his struggle, knowing that between the two of them it's so very apparent that they're not going to get through the rest of the meal.

Knowing that if he drinks the rest of his wine, he'd be unable to stop himself from cracking entirely, he's abstaining from that too with how much the alcohol is pushing him toward caving as well. It seems this taught him another thing ironically. That he's prone to being hormonal like her by far more than his usual while under the influence, or rather, it's something she gets personally whereas others don't get to see it.

Others would only get to see him clingy and sleepy in contrast, she gets despite his best efforts from that torturous three weeks hormonal and clingy instead. Maybe it's a good thing he refuses to drink in public then.)

... I know. (Her words barely register, trying to keep himself together a little longer right as his eyes settle on her lips. The desires still there to take and to let this flame consume them but he has to force it down for now.)

[ His restraint is good— better than hers at least, and perhaps that's visible in the way Eula writhes on the chair when he places another samosa between his lips, rubs her thighs together because gods damn it, she's in trouble when even the thought of him chewing his food is enough to send fresh sparkles of pleasure between her legs. His eyes are on her mouth, and this time it's not even out of teasing but necessity that she wets her lips with a dart of her tongue, her shaking fingers going back to the fork she let clatter to the table just moments before.

Archons, she wants him, she wants him to show her what he can do with that mouth, wants him to take her in his lap or against the table or against the wall or anywhere, wants him to take her to pieces with his flame before putting her back again... and then burning her down once more. She wants so desperately that it's hard to focus, that the need of it is growing louder than the single thought reminding her that he made this food for her, that she should enjoy it properly—

—oh but isn't he just as eager as she? She can see it in the burn of his eyes, how hard it is for him to wait, how much he needs her.

Eula's fingers falter over the silverware, letting it fall back to the tabletop, although she stops short of grabbing him by the tie again; instead, her eyes lift to meet his, breath ghosting short over her own lips. ]

...Can it be reheated without losing too much of its flavor?

... I think so.

(Burning, he's burning and he can feel it eating at him more, more and more as the feeling of his body aches in a desire to burn them both into pieces. Burn away everything, their thoughts, their bodies, their hearts with him trying so very hard to not bend in the fact he needs so desperately her. Her touch, her lips, their bodies melting after this long wait that they both had to suffer through whenever he wanted more of her to the point he considers it a feat he didn't break earlier.

With the way he spoke it's far too late for them to stop. His need and his desperate want of the person who almost feels as if she completes him more than he would have once known before is so strong. Even if he can't reheat the food with it retaining it's flavor he'll consider it enough of a success that she enjoyed it down to the Samosa's since he did want to show off for a change.

Before they broke apart like this into pieces since he's withholding just a little longer, he's so very close to her and the alcohol making him looser isn't helping much either with the urge he has to just lean in and break apart the remaining wall.

That is until he gives up on holding back with the intensity of his need hitting strongly enough that aching fire in him that needed her grew so loud that he could no longer find his restraint as capable of holding himself back. In that moment he cracks, he leans in and kisses her, hard at that yet so filled with fire it's likely going to be a wonder he's not breathing it.)

[ He thinks so. That's enough, as far as she's concerned, for her to make a move, to enjoy him now and think about eating again later, and it's with that decision that Eula pushes the silverware aside, abandoning it completely in favor of turning fully into him— Only to find her mouth captured by his, the weight of his body leaning in against hers, a sudden flame writing itself over her lips and everywhere else he touches.

(She must remember later to tell him once more how delicious the food is, that turning away from it isn't a commentary on its taste but more how desperate she is for him—)

Eula's reaction is instantaneous: she makes a soft sound of pleasure as her eyes sink shut, lips parting as she returns the kiss; and her fingers coil, one around his tie and the other into his dress shirt, tugging him closer as she shifts until she's half-off her chair. She can taste the alcohol on his lips, feel the beat of his heart under his chest, hammering in a rhythm similar to hers. And she wants to talk, tell him that she's missed him, needed him, but her mouth is too occupied with showing him, with answering the ache coursing through both of their bodies. ]

Where?

[ In the end, this single word is the most she can handle, gasped out between his mouth and hers, even as her fingers tighten into the fabric of his clothing.c ]

... could we even make it to my bed? (Good question is something that is hitting him, really he didn't care where they were as much as he had thoughts of taking her in his lap like this. Her pulling him close like this isn't helping either with his thoughts, through a mutual feeling of how much he missed her, had in fact needed her so badly that it was destroying him. If she says they couldn't then his option B is going to be the chair like this or against the wall on the way there.

Archons, even against his bedroom door is fine by him as long as it's her. The alcohol on her lips gives him a further sensation of feeling inebriated too. He's already against her in all the right ways by now and knows good and well she can feel how ready he is. The food comment can wait more though he knows she can easily drag him by his tie wherever she pleases given there's not a single complaint about it on his mind.

Just an urge to have her and to give her wordlessly those feelings again that were so strongly burning.

Even that didn't feel like enough, it never would feel like enough whether it be by words or their bodies. It's enough to make him wonder if this was how his father once felt with his mother but that's not a thought for this moment, he didn't need to be thinking more of that when she needs him most. That's something for when their want, their need is sated.)

I don't think I care much... where we wind up at. (Murmuring the words into their kiss, her lips aside, he found it best to voice that while he still could knowing he's so close to breaking still.)

...Probably not. [ It's about all she can manage, that acknowledgement... but at the same time she doesn't want their first time in three weeks to be in a kitchen chair of all places, regardless of how well-built it might be. And so she tears herself away from his lips, taking advantage of her body being halfway between two chairs in order to stand up and pulling him with her, her eyes dark and her body already trembling with her desire. ] But we can try.

[ Her fingers untangle, a hand finding his instead to pull him with her in a somewhat less-aggressive manner; she knows the way already to the bedroom, so that's no problem, but actually getting there might be, with every step feeling more and more difficult given the burning heat just barely behind her, wanting her as much as she wants him.

She makes it as far as the bedroom door— a valiant effort but not good enough— before turning back to him and grabbing his shirt and tie again to pull him bodily into her, backing herself into the wall next to the door and gasping aloud when his body collides with hers. Of course, she had no idea he himself was considering the wall, but right now it seems like a good enough place, especially as she rocks her hips up against him, knowing by touch alone how ready he is for her. ]

Here. [ It's gasped against his lips, her body arching up against his once more and her breath hot and panted into his mouth. ] We can.. mm, we can move after.

(It's the thought that counts. Since not even he was wanting to use a kitchen chair knowing that he's at a point that if they wound up breaking it and on the floor he'd have rather them not there. So trying to reach the bed and winding up against the wall, door, wherever? That's fine as a trade off once he gets pulled into following her though the heat leaving him is worsening with each step; that craving he has growing and his eyes darkening further with his own hunger.

Barely restrained heat, intense want and need that's flaring so badly once she takes hold of his tie, his dress shirt again and dragging him up against her. Their hips were rocking together now, his arousal throbbing at this point with an ache he didn't think possible. That heat he felt was at a point the fire in him finds itself seeking her so desperately once he kisses her hard again, so very hard and fire filled.

He didn't know where to start, it already felt as if his hips were mindlessly following her rhythm knowing how much he's wanted this with her. It's hard to think, hard to pull away, hard to get his hands to do anything but taking hold of her thighs to get his belt undone and trousers down just enough for this. Gods he can't believe he's lost himself this much already.)

Can't... stop... (The words though breathlessly gasped out in between kisses were husky, raw, wanting and hungry even. He'll try to move after like she suggested, right now this is overloading his senses already.)

[ This... oh gods, this is going to go somewhere faster than either of them is ready if they're not careful; with the way he's grabbing at her thighs to pull her closer, their hips rutting together as they kiss, with the way he gasps out that he can't bring himself to stop, it's only a matter of time before one or both of them tips over the edge— and they're still fully clothed, in nice clothes at that, and...

She tears herself from the kiss as well as she can with her back to the wall, needing some space to get clarity for her mind, and it's all she can do to unwind her fingers from his shirt and tie, dropping her hands between them instead. If he can't make himself stop, then it's up to her to keep her head enough to make this work, at least until she doesn't have to anymore. So she works quickly, fingers nimble as they unbuckle his belt and push his pants and underwear off his hips, then move to her own, hiking her gown up and her underwear— a sheer black thong— down.

It all happens in an instant, and only then do her hands go back to his shirt, pulling him back into a kiss now that she doesn't need the mental acuity to focus anymore, her mouth working hard against his and her leg arching up to coil around one of his. ]

There. [ It's a breathless moan against his mouth, another rut of her hips against his as she allows herself to sink back into the mindlessness of her need and want for him. ] Now you don't have to.

(As hazed as his mind is, he does find himself in that time apart looking curiously about what she wore this time once he spots the black thong she had on beneath the dress. His hips rutting did pause enough to make this easier but gods that was harder than he'd like to admit to do.) ... thong this time? (He can get out that much after some thought. Compliments might be a little too far-fetched but he can try that maybe a little even if his arousal is making this harder. It being freed just adds on to it given the ache is much more noticeable.

Diluc himself is by no means amazing at 'dirty talk', as he's realized before that's more Kaeya's show. Yet it isn't as if he can't help the imagery in his mind of her in them. Honestly that flame that's been ignited seems pleased at the thought by how his eyes look since he doesn't have the mental capacity to speak out everything as much as he'd like.

Maybe he even would tried but the thought goes back out the window once her mouth is back on his, thinking going out the window with his own lips back at it hard with hers once one of his hands finds it's way on the leg she coils around him. With their hips rutting together, almost mindlessly, he shouldn't keep her waiting too long anyway.

Length in his other hand, he soon enough lines up with her core and pushes onward, to the hilt and deep. There's almost a sigh of relief in their kiss from his part from how much he needed her in that time frame, even with his mind being in a haze to a degree he manages to mutter against her lips:) ... I really did miss you. (Not just the physical part, but in general is what's unsaid there knowing words are hard.)

[ There's a slight smile on her lips at his comment, a temptation to explain the undergarment now wrapped around her thighs, but the press of his length into her core leaves her gasping out instead, eyes fluttering closed as her fingers tighten in the material of his clothing, as her hips stutter in a helpless movement against his. Oh, by the gods has she needed this...

How much she's changed, Eula realizes, when the joining of their bodies feels like she's come home, an answer to all that she's been missing over the past few weeks. It's more than that with him of course, more than just the physical, but like this it feels like a culmination of everything, of their feelings and desires and—

Gods, there's no denying it any longer, is there? Eula Lawrence has gone from a soldier who relies on no one— who trusts no one— to a woman whose feelings are deep in the heart of the man whose body is connected to hers right now.

She's in love.

She loves him. ]

Me too. [ It's a breathless murmur against his mouth, an answer to his words and also a substitute for what she truthfully wants to say, hips arching into his as she deepens their kiss, as one hand slips from his shirt to wind around his shoulders, pulling him in as close as she can without crushing him. Right now, she doesn't want to be apart. ]

(The sweltering heat from his body is strong, strong enough that were he not careful they'd both be leaving with this with more burn marks than marks left out of the unspoken emotions that the two of them have felt together. For now he's stopping it, fighting it down so that it didn't dare to interrupt them by making it harder once Diluc finds himself drawn in closer after noticing the way she even felt relieved by their reunion in a sense.

This isn't something he wants to let go of even now with his heart pounding, it felt all too similar to his first with her. Diluc rarely trusts, trust was something one had to work hard to obtain and yet he finds himself unable to help the emotions, the thoughts, and the feelings that were rising from this. He knew by now what this was he felt but it only drives it home further for him.

He's in love with her and it's so maddeningly deep that he swears she could ask him to do anything and he'd do it for her. All within some manner of reason once he finds himself at hearing her reply, melt, their bodies were close enough she'd feel the heat easing in a sense from being near positively boiling them.

All from this love he has for her.

He won't tell a soul but her those words whenever he could finally say them to their face; this silence is more than enough with their bodies saying it and answering it for them instead. After the pause, it's soon enough his work starts in earnest with his thrusts beginning again.

It's taking everything he has and more to give her all of him now without that blame searing them both into a shared hell due to it. Something that Diluc would give her time and time again regardless of his vision being an issue to some thanks to the sheer heat from his body.)

Edited (I went to double check after waking up) 2023-02-07 21:05 (UTC)

[ Fighting it he may be but the heat is still dizzying, near enough to burning against the usual cool of Eula's skin, and it's almost a relief when it eases a little into a roiling, melted wash against her. His hips start moving and behind closed eyelids, her eyes roll back a little, a low moan on her lips as her own waist arches against his, as the leg coiled around his tries to tug him in closer to her on the inwards rhythm of his thrusts.

It's a bewildering realization that she will never have her fill of this, that no matter how much he gives her she'll want more of him, need more of him, not only like this but in any way he wishes to give himself to her. The feeling of it is strong, like nothing else she's ever experienced, and yet there's no doubt in her mind that she understands it, knows what it is telling her.

They've barely started and yet she feels like she won't make it much longer, the wait having frayed her senses until even the barest of touches seems like too much, until her desire has her weak in the knees. It's hard to think let alone hold herself back, but she tries nonetheless, trying to focus on kissing him and rocking her hips in rhythm with him instead of how good it feels, instead of the coil tightening in her stomach, instead of the warmth of his mouth on hers, instead of—

Mm, it's not working. ]

Don't judge me. [ It's a mumble into his mouth, a soft laugh on her lips despite herself. ] But I'm not going to last long if you keep up this pace...

(Ironically that makes two of them, with how long it's been, causing him to wonder if he should slow down to savor it more. Maybe, since the thought of it being slow isn't all bad... it just would make it a lot different than simply sex as Kaeya describes it often times much to his rather large annoyance. However his mind would much rather not think about that whenever he's drawn in so closely; like neither of them wished to let go which he's almost certain is true enough given their track record.

More, more, and more. The feeling has yet to fade, to seek more of her in everything she wants to give him from their bodies to moments they both long since told themselves they shouldn't dream about to begin with. It's only now that he for the time being eases into something slower with his rhythm, the fire still there, but something more different than the heated passion that they've had.

A slow burning passion even if his heat is dizzying for the two of them; as if to greet her with something more 'appropriate' than just the heat intensely taking everything at the start from them. This time to him it feels as if he's made a return home and only seeks to take something of these moments with her slow before it consumes them further.

Whether it works or not, he's not going to be sure though the feeling of it is something else he's welcoming immensely.

He can speed up again if she wants him to, since Diluc knows he'll always want to at any time she needs.)

I'm not, tell me if it's too slow... (Because he didn't want her to think he'd stay at that pace either if she finds it too fast or slow for her liking.)

[ She gasps out against his lips when the rhythm of his movement changes, slows in an effort to hold her— hold them— back from that peak, and Archons it's so frustrating that she wants to scream despite being exactly what she needed to make this last, exactly what they needed to make this about them and not just about the physical act of joining their bodies together. The arm around his shoulders locks in closer, the hand still coiled in his shirt tightens its grip, her hips rock up against those thrusts, and gods she needs more of him even as she welcomes the new speed for what it is. ]

It's... it's perfect.

[ It's a mumble against his lips, a confidence that is only half of the truth but all of it at the same time, and it's followed by a soft moan at the realization that the slower pace allows her to feel him differently, increasing the pleasure even as it delays it. Gods, she has needed this, but more than this she has needed him, hasn't stopped needing him since that night on the side of Dragonspine—

The murmur of his name is shaky as she breaks their kiss for a moment, something dark and serious in her eyes before pressing back against him, and there's something near desperation in the movement of her lips, the realization that she needs to shut herself up before she says something she can't take back, because Archons help her she loves him— she's in love with him and there's not a single intrusive thought her mind can throw her way to make that stop, the words sitting on the tip of her tongue despite her best effort. ]

(Slow burning passion, something that feels romantic in it's slowness even if prolonging it can be frustrating on both sides. He's close to her by now enough that emotion in his eyes he knows is love seems to peer out enough though wordlessly. The fast pace as nice as it was isn't something he wants her to think he's only after, the intimacy of this with his slow and deep rhythm is enough to make him melt more by now.

It's perfect she says, then he'll have to remember this for if they find themselves ignoring dinner to simply just lose themselves in what is their hearts singing in a way out to one another. Begging for their partner in their dance to respond though he knew how much he did need her, will always need her as this realization sinks in further.

His grunts are soft, the brief moment of air he gets from her parting soon taken away.

He can see something is in her eyes but the desperation of this kiss makes him wonder if she was trying to say more than she knew for now. Who knows, but, he does know that he can't help the way he meets her desperation with his own. His own love and desperation as his intrusive thoughts are quelled to silence. A much welcomed surprise, a much needed one. She knows his answer after all. He loves her, more than he ever would have thought.)

[ She's starting to feel like she can't breathe. Between the desperation of their kisses, the feelings she can feel emanating from him as certainly as she's aware of her own, the way his movements bring her ever closer to her peak while his speed tries to hold her back from it, the soft sound of his voice grunting against her lips— It's almost too much for her, overwhelming every inch of her with the heat of him. Her hips arch, and she answers every sound of his with one of her own, breathlessly gasping against his lips.

She confessed to it being perfect, but the words feel insufficient, don't do justice to the molten fire of her blood, to the way she knows that he's too much and yet at the same time not enough, and the words are still there at the corners of her lips, fighting her on slipping through, waiting for the moment she loses enough of her control over herself—

Ah, she needs... How is she already so close again when he's pulled her back from that edge once already? ]

Can't— can't hold it, Diluc...

[ Does she want him to slow down even more? Or speed up and bring her over? Is both a valid option, is the wild thought, even as she knows it's impossible. She just ~~wantsneeds~~aches for as much of him as she can have, in every possible way. ]

... that... makes two of us. (Gods. He's been teetering between it this whole time, not enough yet enough, wanting and needing yet aching in it once he finds himself speeding up just enough to not lose the more tender feeling of this pace he took up. He's so very close to the edge and not wanting to let go of her nor for her to let go of him once his heat builds into an intensity it's a wonder his clothes aren't on fire.

That can be something he worries about later, the fire in him wants out, wants out so desperately in the way he's staring at her. In the way he's up against her right as he doesn't notice how disheveled his ponytail has become, the way it's draping over them just enough with the sweat coming off his body in such a way others would be concerned at the sight.

He'll need water after this before they carry on, is his only thought, that way she didn't worry completely about him knowing his vision can raise his heat to some rather... interesting levels. Especially whenever it comes to them being joined together like this.)

... hold on to me... just like this...

(There's a tenderness in the way he says it, the way he's breathless and wanting. She'd likely want to see more of this from him is his last coherent thought on the matter, before his head goes empty with nothing more than her, only her, in how she drives him insane, how she causes him to melt away into something he thought long gone.

Something he deems will always be meant for her.)

[ Just like this. Eula nods, the slightest movement that at the same time is careful not to break the kiss between them, her fingers and tight on his shirt as her hips continue to arch into his, the increase in speed enough to have her reeling, gasping out in wordless pleasure at the way his thrusts bring her ever closer, the heat building between their bodies until her dress practically sticks to her from the sheen of sweat on her own skin.

When she hits the top of the peak, it's with a sharp cry, her head falling back from the kiss and against the wall, her body stiffening against his for a moment, stretching out like a metal pole, straight and unbending, back arching and breasts pillowing against his chest— And then she comes undone in the next moment, the dam breaking suddenly enough that she sees stars, that she slumps bonelessly back, half against the wall and half against him, eyelids fluttering weakly as her head falls to his shoulder, body still rocking in time with his movements. ]

Diluc— [ It's a helpless, broken gasp against his shoulder, the clutch of her fingers somehow still tight as the rest of her is languid and loose against him. Her mind is temporarily gone in the delayed feeling of pleasure swamping all of her senses, the desperate focus of before shattered and the words able to slip from her tongue and the corners of her lips and into the material of his vest, a murmur spoken mindlessly but in complete honesty. ]

I love you, Diluc.

(There's a moment of silence as his own release follows, tense muscles easing with him taking care to hold her knowing that she likely won't be anywhere near capable of moving. Then again he's not any better, having to support himself with her like this knowing that he did over do it a little with how the start went. He's quiet and breathing, catching his breath from how his panting sounds near ragged whenever she speaks at first.

There's nothing said yet but he is looking at her, wondering what it is she might wish to say before the realization creeps in. Eyes soon widening at hearing those words but not out of fear or anything in the way his cheeks soon heat up similarly to his scarlet locks; did she just... no, he knows he heard it right, here and now then? That's the surprise of it.

At first he contemplates how to answer, if he should knowing she was out of it. Not giving her an answer is worse knowing there's no running away from any of this once he kisses her, preemptively, to help first with any frightened thoughts she might get about it knowing how it just came out.

The answer she deserves, he'll meet it then:)

I love you too, Eula...

(That isn't said through the alcohol either, nor their inability to hold back from being physical, but truly something he wants to say. Wanted to tell her even.)

[ Her eyes close as she feels his heat spill inside her, a softly-voiced exhale of pleasure against his shoulder as her hips finally slow their movements against his, her breath fluttering in the same way her eyes do, her body trembling between the wall and him. And for that vague, dreamy moment, she doesn't even realize what she's said until his mouth finds hers, until he says the same in reply.

I love you too.

She feels her back stiffen, a cord of anxiety tugging tight all of a sudden, and of course there's the immediate urge to flee, to somehow extract herself from between the wall and the man— but as he intended, his kiss works to soothe her suddenly-frayed nerves, and after a moment or two she melts to him, returning the kiss as her body starts to quiver once more, no longer from her release but from the fears settling in.

She doesn't, however, run away, not even when she breaks the kiss to look up at him, a trembling smile on her lips and water in the corners of her eyes. ]

I. I... I didn't mean to say that. [ And yet, she knows, there's no reversing it, no pretending it didn't happen. Not when it's perhaps the most honest thing she's ever said to another person. She is, however, going to stumble over every single one of her words in attempting to explain herself. ] I know it wasn't what we... what we, um, planned. Agreed.

[ It's a good thing she's between him and the wall, because her legs feel as if they're about to give out. ]

Eula.

(For once he looks seriously at her, almost as if mulling over where to start with this at. First would be reminding her that he understands plans don't always stay the same given he knows his back injury is the best example of that. Feelings are a different thing even as he makes sure that she stays still instead of attempting to run again if the thought crosses her mind.

Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's not but there's something he can't deny. Not now or ever when she speaks those words. Her honesty is a rarity which is why at this point he knows better than anyone else to brush it off.) I hate to use my injury as an example but plans can go differently with these things, feelings don't follow a blueprint so to speak which is why I'm telling you I'm not upset. It can be said once in a blue moon and I'd understand why. You don't say these things easily and I'm not going to force you despite it coming out now. (Since that's not how Diluc is as a person. He's not forceful by any means with emotions such as this and with her in general knowing that there's much more she's not use to.)

We're similar yes, but, that doesn't mean that I hold it against you. Say it whenever you wish to I said, I'd answer back with my own heart. So yes, I'll remind you of that as I said before... you don't have to speak it unless you yourself wish to, even if it did come out now. (Because he didn't want her to think that he's going to abandon her. Just for speaking it now, just for being unable to deny the feelings that they both kept quiet for her sake. After spending this long near burning himself into his death with the way he kept pressing onward; of course he's not going to run away or scold her for this.)

I won't say it again unless you wish for me to. If you want to hear me say it, then I'll answer you truthfully no matter how much you're not use to it. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone else other than Kaeya. (He can only hope these words do manage to help. Obviously he stands by not forcing her in addition to him only wanting her to know just how far it goes for him; she may have thought originally he was too bold but it's now that makes him realize he was right in two regards. He was in love with her and he always would be.

That part will of course remain quiet because she's already at a point she's dealing with anxiety flaring. It's best to not overload her with all of it for her sake. For now he finds himself wondering if he might have to calm her down more given that his priority is letting her calm down instead of them carrying on first. She does need a chance to gather herself back together.)

Edited 2023-02-11 11:01 (UTC)

[ There's a tremble that passes down her spine from the way he says her name, from the serious look in his eyes as he looks at her, as he starts to talk, and when he's done she's not entirely sure she's heard each of them individually; between the haze from her orgasm and the mingled shock and panic at what she's just said, she's not entirely sure she's processing things correctly. The meaning of them, however, is clear, and Eula reaches up with both hands to cup either side of his face, looking at him in silence for a long moment, her eyes wet and her heart pounding in her breast.

She's scared, but she doesn't want to be. Not when the man in front of her— still joined with her— has given her so much of himself, so willingly, offering kindness and patience and asking for nothing in return. He deserves to have all of her in return, to hear the whole of her heart whenever he wishes rather than rely only on the knowledge he already has.

If you want to hear me say it...

Biting her lower lip, Eula unhooks her leg from where it has been wrapped around Diluc, quiet as her eyes search his face. ]

Then tell me. [ She can feel the anxiety pulling at the edges of her voice even as she looks at him, her eyes pleading and her breath short. ] Say it over and over, as many times as it takes until I don't want to run anymore.

[ Perhaps it's a strange solution, but right now it's the only one she's got. And if it means being able to give him everything, like he deserves, then she has to try. ]

(To say it until she wants to stop running, her pleading and the way she looks at him makes him soften. Telling her until his lungs give out, until he can't say a word anymore or beyond that once he presses forehead to forehead with her at the feeling of her hands cupping his cheeks. There's a sleekness to his skin from how much he was perspiring earlier but that's nothing they mind once he decides he'll give her that answer no matter what; how could he not at seeing her pleas and the way she sounds as if it's not ever enough?)

... I love you. (All spoken before a kiss, murmured again and again between them, all given slowly yet filled with that fire he's long since been giving her. This is all so new to him but he's not backing down from telling her even now with the way he keeps kissing her, speaking it into it, holding her against him knowing they haven't parted yet.

Unless she asks him to stop, he'll keep saying it throughout the night at this rate knowing that he's loved her. Giving her every part of him is something he's long since decided on and this is just something that they both desperately need to say, to remind themselves with even now. His heart burns, but it feels at ease with her ice around it as if a reminder of its own about her feelings.

He needs her so much more than he ever has anyone before, he wants her to the point a lot of his own personal rules have been falling apart into pieces, he aches for her almost as if it'd destroy him more if they for whatever reason became separated or worse.

His lungs burn with all the confessions he makes into her lips, all the slow heated kisses he's giving with a sense of urgency and desperation to the point he didn't wish to part from her. Not for long, not now or ever.

She's the only one who could see him and make him like this.)

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