𝐄𝐮𝐥𝐚 𝐋𝐚𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (
vergeltung) wrote in
sempiternals2023-01-07 10:13 pm
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softer than rain, harder than pain | @dawnbreaked
[ Trusting him was a mistake.
It was easier when she was a free agent, not having to worry about anyone else, focusing only on what she needed, what her company needed, working on a professional and not personal level, keeping her distance from others and letting them keep their distance from her.
It was lonely, but it was easier.
As a free agent, for example, she never would have been pacing the kitchen of the Dawn Winery with clenched fists and burning eyes, trying not to just snap and break something while Diluc's staff tend to him behind closed doors, caring for him through an unconsciousness going on at least a few hours now. She wouldn't be trembling with the cold horror of her Vision's resonance, nor dealing with tears she's unable to hide, sparkling as they are like diamonds frosted to her eyelashes. It wouldn't have been her for whom Kaeya came running, grave anxiety written over his face, tears of his own evident in the redness of his eyes and cheeks despite his attempts to hide them; she wouldn't have even known this was happening—
Somehow the thought does nothing to ease her churning, angry stomach. Eula closes her eyes and cups a hand over her mouth, convinced for a moment she's going to vomit. The free hand waves away whatever staff member it is who's trying to comfort her— she doesn't know these people, not enough for this— before coming to rest on the counter in front of her. She can feel the anxiety trembling through her skin where it contacts the furniture.
I swear, Ragnvindr, she thinks, a tight hold on the counter as if that will somehow make it better, if you get through this I'm going to kill you myself.
...
He'd better get through this. ]
It was easier when she was a free agent, not having to worry about anyone else, focusing only on what she needed, what her company needed, working on a professional and not personal level, keeping her distance from others and letting them keep their distance from her.
It was lonely, but it was easier.
As a free agent, for example, she never would have been pacing the kitchen of the Dawn Winery with clenched fists and burning eyes, trying not to just snap and break something while Diluc's staff tend to him behind closed doors, caring for him through an unconsciousness going on at least a few hours now. She wouldn't be trembling with the cold horror of her Vision's resonance, nor dealing with tears she's unable to hide, sparkling as they are like diamonds frosted to her eyelashes. It wouldn't have been her for whom Kaeya came running, grave anxiety written over his face, tears of his own evident in the redness of his eyes and cheeks despite his attempts to hide them; she wouldn't have even known this was happening—
Somehow the thought does nothing to ease her churning, angry stomach. Eula closes her eyes and cups a hand over her mouth, convinced for a moment she's going to vomit. The free hand waves away whatever staff member it is who's trying to comfort her— she doesn't know these people, not enough for this— before coming to rest on the counter in front of her. She can feel the anxiety trembling through her skin where it contacts the furniture.
I swear, Ragnvindr, she thinks, a tight hold on the counter as if that will somehow make it better, if you get through this I'm going to kill you myself.
...
He'd better get through this. ]
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His heart pounds so fast which she must have felt in that time she presses her hand over his chest. He's trying to muster up more than just a wordless confession by kiss whenever she admits every part of her is fighting too; it's enough to cause him for a second time perhaps warrant another moment of retribution she would likely take later.)
... every part of me is fighting too, half calling me foolish, another half just wanting to melt, a third saying I shouldn't while recovering and yet I... (He again falls first, another moment of his lips seeking hers, another moment of the intensity of his heart's flame flooding into him past what could have been his mind arguing with him.
To confess something like this. To be weak... to be vulnerable and to open his fire filled heart into this moment; he had to give her it with thoughts of what could happen if he dares to not lingering with him just knowing this feeling will only deepen further. Further past what it is now, further in how it engulfs him and seeks her like it's found a miss piece he didn't know he was missing.
So he lets out all of it.
Heat. Unbearable but not in the way it was during his arousal, this heat is different in the way it seeks her through his resonance flaring with him forcing it to at least not set anything on fire.
That's the last thing that they need whenever they're in a bigger mess and falling faster than he'd ever have realized before.)
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Archons be good—
Her fingers clench, a fist balling against his chest where she'd otherwise grab a hold of clothing, a soft gasp against his lips as she returns the kiss, and the fingers at his cheek move up into his hair, fingers running gentle along the scalp, an inch of movement for every too-fast beat of her heart.
—She loves him.
It's all she can do not deepen the kiss— after all he's still recovering and the last thing she wants is for him to be hurt worse. But the temptation is there, especially when the ice is screaming, trying to claw precious ground back against the scalding heat of his body, the heat slowly turning Eula into soft, flowing water. ]
Diluc, I—
[ Oh, but this is dangerous.
She bites the words back from the tip of her tongue, pressing back into the kiss, turning herself over into it even as the tremors run through her body. It's too soon for the words, the ice reminds her, it's the wrong time, and even in her heart she knows that to be true, but she wants so much—
Just like that, he's taken her apart again. ]
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At this rate he wanted to pull her on top of him knowing he can't move much without the risk of injury being worsened. He finds himself struggling more to not put his scarred hands on her bare back again like he's done before; tremors that they both share with their own hearts pounding.
He loves her and that's what frightens him.
Diluc didn't even think he'd fall in love but he did, he fell in love with her as this unbearable heat demands he finally melts into her instead of ignoring it.
It's when he finds himself trying to pay attention to what she might wish to say only for that to go out the window whenever her lips are back against his. Falling apart and falling away from what logic his mind tries so desperately to bring back, telling him to stop chasing this so willingly and yet he ignores it.
A mutual moment of her taking him apart too in the end once he finds himself unable to resist his arms going around her fully with temptation cracking more into his restraint further.
This isn't the right time, he tries to tell himself, this is too soon which is what he should be remembering but it's all coming apart.
Gods above, at least spare him more internal arguing for his struggles in getting to this conclusion.)
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In some ways, she barely recognizes herself.
And there's a part of her quick to surface that reminds her that this is a good thing, that the Eula of a few weeks ago was miserable and alone, trying to convince herself of a happiness on which she had long since given up. Perhaps that's why the last of her resistance cracks as his arms wind fully around her; and suddenly it's so easy for her to give in, to press into the heat of his kisses as a tremble runs down her spine, to skim fingers through his hair in a caress both tender and needy, to brush her tongue along his lower lip as if to seek more, all the while knowing they can't push too much further.
...Archons, they really can't... ]
Your injuries.
[ It's a soft, panted moan against his lips, a reminder to both of them that they shouldn't— mustn't— go further than this, despite the heat burning in both of them. ]
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(... though if Mona herself said it he'd have thought she lost her mind but that's a different thing.)
But it's hard to recognize what parts of him were the man he shaped himself into being of his own volition to obtain his retribution; what parts of him were even that boy still he left far behind resurfacing now so heavily around her in the way it craves her. His lips were parted to her tongue as his mind tries to make him remember that they can't keep going even as he wishes to do so, with the way she's pressed up against him and further cracking his own resistance.
They shouldn't, they really shouldn't be...)
... I know.
(But it's her. It's her this heat wants even as that soft moan from her makes him shiver, even as he finds himself groaning from the intensity of it all. If he can't move then he would have taken her being in his lap; it's why he tries to keep resisting the urge but gods he's fighting a losing battle.
What has she done to him to cause him to teeter between a side he long thought dead and his current self so strongly...)
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And of course she knows that already, knows that he wants her, but something about him nearly dying and then coming back at admit-yet-not-admit a deepness of feelings that she knows terrifies him as much as it does her... there's something coiling in her stomach, that same thing that has her panting against his mouth, that has her needing to fight every last urge she has to just seat herself in his lap and take him into her. Such an action would be too much of a temptation for him to move, to rip the stitches open that the others have spent so much time and care over while she paced in the kitchen, anxious and unsure.
She sighs against his mouth; like him, the battle is a losing one, even as her brain reminds her again and again that this isn't good for him.
Eula's eyes are dark with want when she pulls away, moving herself out of his reach just enough that he can't pull her back. ] You should lie down, Ragnvindr. [ Her voice is still rough and husky, and she's trying to sound serious and stern but her tongue darts involuntarily over her lips, and for a moment she wonders if he can read her intent in her eyes or if he's clueless. ] Sitting up like this makes it easier for you to open your wounds again.
[ Her heart is going a thousand miles an hour in her chest even from something as simple as watching him; even knowing that she shouldn't right now, she wants. ]
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Fearful but he did seem to be taking it as best as he can despite himself once she pulls away; his urge to just grab her near flaring by how he has to force his arms to stop which she might on one hand be delighted by to a degree to see it.
Her voice... gods, he always might finding himself wanting to hear more of her whether it be these moments or not between them though him saying it out loud would not be something meant for the ears of others.
Though seeing her eyes and how she licks her lips causes him to catch on enough where he would have missed the intent. His own gaze dark with want at noticing how fixated she is on him and his every movement once he shifts about to lay down for her without a word or complaint. The staff had taken care of undressing him enough and he did this time have his hair down from once they finished; more she'd likely be delighted by he muses to himself with his own fire filled eyes fixated on her.
He's wondering what her plans even is, he wants her so badly that he's all but positive that had they both decided to hold off he would not be able to in the end. It's almost ironic. His brain and every logical part of him is reminding him too that he shouldn't be doing this yet he wants; he wants to tell her with his body how much he wanted to see her or maybe how much he does love her while the words were so frightening to say themselves.)
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You're not allowed to move. [ She says it in a soft voice, something gentler than before even as she tries to keep her tone stern to match her face; as she speaks, she reaches out, not for his face or even for him but for his pants, undoing them before working deftly to pull them down over his hips, catching his underwear in the same grip to take that too—
And her eyes widen as he springs free of the confines, not just hard but what looks to be achingly so, hard in the sort of way that makes her mouth dry and a pulse of heat throb between her legs, brings a soft gasp of pleasure to her lips as she fights once more against the urge to simply lower herself onto him.
Instead, she moves herself closer to him at a different angle, shifting so that she can hunch over him, her breath ghosting over the leaking tip of his arousal, eyes flicking up to his face to take in his expression as she speaks one last time before otherwise occupying her mouth: ]
I mean it. One movement, I stop this.
[ And then she lowers her mouth over him, taking him deep in one movement, eyes shutting against the reflex in her throat as she takes a moment to adjust, tongue fluttering, mouth swallowing in the effort. ]
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As soon as his trousers and briefs were tugged down, there's a degree of relief across his expression mixed into his hunger and want for her. The relief being purely because being trapped like that often times made his arousal ache further; idle thoughts aside he did at least have more of an idea on how things might go now. Given their current positions and somehow he doubts they'll stop at just this.)
... won't move then. (He'll give her the biggest part of his trust then, his body trusted to her. An honor Diluc did not give a single soul before prior to her; injured or not he trusts her to not reopen anything during her time taking control knowing that he can't necessarily do much as of now.
Whenever she breathes against his length, he near grinds his teeth at the sensation of it all, at least before she took him deep. The moment she did he finds himself clenching his teeth from the pleasure, the quick change as he forces his hands to keep hold of his sheets to ease any urge to move he may get. It's a better trade than near burning her or moving with how little he can hold back in the former case.
The latter is at least not being difficult, thankfully, it likely will change as it progresses but that is something he'll think of later. Not whenever he's groaning, not whenever he can barely think beyond his want for her currently and awareness of his own body.)
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It's enough to send a fresh jolt of pleasure between her legs, leaving Eula writhing for a moment against herself before she starts to move against him, her throat finally having found a degree of comfort that allows her to move without making herself sick, and there's a slow, wet drag as she lifts herself against his length before lowering once more, tongue dancing and swirling over skin.
The taste of him is enough to send a low moan of pleasure through her— the sound no doubt causing vibrations against the skin and heightening the pleasure for him. And where she's made him promise not to move, it's a rule she doesn't actually have to follow for herself, and so after a moment she shifts, curling her body enough that she can reach between her own legs, palming over her core through the material of her bodysuit even as her motions over Diluc continue. Her hips arch in a way his aren't allowed to, and she responds by speeding her movements a little— not against herself, but against him, another low moan sounding on her lips as she takes him totally to the hilt, swallowing a gag before she lifts again with a sharp gasp.
She'll make him lose himself like this as many times as she needs to, as many times as it takes to show him what words won't say. ]
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One of his heat filled hands does in fact release the sheets as if to unknowingly on his part leave it open for her in the event her own touch isn't enough, but that doesn't stop him from clenching with the other as a reminder to not move. His head nearly went blank and that's putting it lightly. Normally he isn't this sensitive but there's something about all of it that makes it different, from the way he choked keeping his groans, his moans quiet partly because letting the staff find out or especially Adelinde what was happening is not something either of them needed.
Knowing her, not only would she get on to them but she would not let Diluc hear the end of it and rightfully so. He shouldn't be doing this and Eula shouldn't be encouraging it but that's nothing he's worried too much about; for now he's certain he's getting to the edge far too quickly than he did the first time.
Maybe he's that much more sensitive to her in his current state with the two of them choosing to speak through their bodies. To say things they can't say without speaking once she takes him to the hilt, Archons, he near cursed under his breath from it. It took everything to force his hips to stay still and he's all but positive he near is tearing his own sheets but somehow not at the same time.
If she's aiming to make him lose himself with her despite his injury, she's definitely succeeding, in both making him lose it and maybe in killing him with how sensitive he is to her ministrations.)
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Should be, and yet despite all of that, Eula can't help herself. He came so frighteningly close to being gone, gone without her saying the things she knows she needs to say (even if she can't find a way to bring them to her lips), so frighteningly close that now with the anger gone it's the least she can do to show him—
—and maybe in a small part hearing him choke back his moans of pleasure is a reminder in and of itself that he's okay, that he made it through and he's here with her.
She moans once more around him as she finds a smooth rhythm that takes him to the back of her throat each time, and with him trying for quiet, the obscene noises of the act echo in the room along with her sharp breaths through her nose, her occasional whimper as she rubs her hand and fingers against herself. And it's not enough, can't be enough when the fabric of her bodysuit protects her from the most intimate of touches— but her focus right now is on him, on the way she can feel his muscles tensing as her tongue drags along his length with each pull up, the way his arousal throbs on each plunge back down. ]
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Closer into the edge that he's so near with each throb, the heat at a point if one might look closely it's almost as if he's breathing tiny sparks mixed into smoke from his resonance flaring by the sweat trailing along his body.
The feeling is enough to remind him that he's alive too. That she's there, she's not gone either even with what happened, that everything will be fine. He feels all of that is better than him being so stuck within himself that even Kaeya would grow worried about his current state due to unintentionally breaking that promise.
The heat soon enough swelters into his release as he falls, fast, unable to help himself in his desire, unable to help himself from simply craving more of her with the thoughts being left behind. As he thought, one time won't be enough with the release of feelings he tried to avoid building though he's not moving just as she wanted; giving her the control she wished for from his trust, every inch of him being hers to touch though he near thought she would have tied him down too.)
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Her mouth remains open as she sucks in breath after breath, eyes clouded and blown-out with her own lust even though her hand has stopped its movement against her own core for now, and she licks her lips as she watches him, knowing how she must look not just in action, but in the shameless, wanton expression on her face, the way her mouth is swollen and her cheeks pink. ]
...Well. [ It's about all she can really think enough to say right now, what with the throbbing between her own legs driving her mad, not to mention the pleasure of watching him freefall through his own afterglow. She wants to say much more, of course, but the words won't come regardless, so for now she just reaches up, brushes her fingers against his lips, a tender movement in sharp contrast to the way her tongue darts over the swollen lips once more. ]
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Her finger tips brushing up against his lips causes him to kiss into them, the heat of his lips strong still from this time the heat not fading as much as it did before. His body has gotten use to it more perhaps but there's still the fact he can't help it in the way she looks at him making him near shiver from want; gods, he can't talk either to her as much as he wants to but it's apparent that her actions is drawing more from him.
More heat, more desire.
It's going to be a miracle if he doesn't burn holes into his sheets throughout this potentially long night between them of keeping it down, of not alerting others that some things had boiled over between them both from their hearts to the point words fail them.)
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Archons, she's forbidden him from moving, he shouldn't move, and yet the want she's feeling— the want it seems he's feeling too— is as heavy in the air as that first night in his Mondstadt abode, the hunger after days of yearning. She wants to give him more, and yet...
What else can she do exactly while he's like this? Even seating herself in his lap like she did that night would be too much for him right now, she's sure.
She sighs, her fingers dipping between the crease of his lips, a teasing incursion as her other hand flutters close to her own abdomen, the ache between her own legs not aided at all by her actions or by the way he looks at her. And when she speaks, her voice is soft, perhaps even with a hint of shyness at the edges as the words come bluntly: ]
What can I do for you, Ragnvindr? Do you... I can use my mouth again, or my hand.... I just don't want you to move.
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It's going to pain him how much he'd want to but he'll remind himself to not dare; she would be upset if he did it.
He wants more so he wants her to give him everything. He won't completely lose himself as long as she doesn't decide to break him into moving in the end even if they both knew he shouldn't be. This isn't something that he can ignore with the fact that he doesn't think just that will be enough either; the ache was like before with wanting inside of her but he'd understand if she avoids it despite that ache.
Even the way she teases him into kissing along her fingers again from his current position due to them dipping the way they did. Gods, she really is going to make him lose his mind and he just barely survived the Lector itself.
It's killing him to know that she equally wants too and that she's restraining herself that much for his sake.)
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Sit up again. [ It's said as abruptly as the decision appears in her mind, and Eula stands up from the bed, forcibly pulling herself away from him and raising her hands to her clothing instead, her focus shifting away from him as much as it can to focus on ridding herself of the many layers she wears. Although she should at least...
Her voice is softer as she adds: ] Carefully. And... leave some room for me.
[ She lets him work at that while she strips down, removing first her support strap and her jacket, then the bodysuit and her thin black panties before finally unstrapping the tall boots she wears, stepping out of them and letting everything puddle on the floor behind her. Only then does she move back to the bed, sitting herself next to him, her eyes soft— yet hungry— as they examine his face. ]
Still no moving.
[ The arm nearest to him stretches across him, forearm laid across his abdomen so that she can take him up in her hand, a slow cup around his still-flagging arousal; at the same time she reaches between her own legs with the other, fingers slipping between her folds to tease at the throbbing heat. She moves slow, not wanting to overwhelm him with sensations despite it being torment for her own body and its hunger for release, something he can no doubt see in the way her expression turns into something strained, a sharp breath between her lips as her head leans into his. ]
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Diluc can truthfully say even now he'd never lose that feeling he gets from them both laid bare around one another whether it be after such moments of passion or not.
He did have a similar idea that he would have to wait, which is the intention, whenever he's healed he'll answer back with his own feelings and she can be certain of that too in the way that his own gaze softens even if he has his own hunger lacing every part of it in response to her. The heat filling his eyes and everything soft as ever toward her who he thinks now he yearns for deeply.
There's enough room as she wanted too before he near wonders if using his hand on her would count as moving too much. Likely would so he won't dare press that issue unless she chooses to take one of them instead once he finds himself hissing from pleasure again. The thoughts gone as quickly as they came between that and another kiss between them for now.
He'll count this as being enough of a second miracle that Adelinde is choosing to not come up to check on them.)
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—and hissing as he takes her mouth with his, capturing her moan as her hips cant toward her hand, aching in pleasure and need.
(Because oh, does she need—)
Her return of his kiss is a little sloppier than it might otherwise be, distracted in the way she rubs and rolls her fingers over him, slowly coaxing his body into wanting as much as his mind and heart do, fingertips stroking over his slit before cupping and sliding down his length, slow, drawn-out pumps of her open fist— But distracted even more by the way her legs flutter in anticipation; the slow pace is too little for the hunger, and it's almost impossible at this point to keep her hand in steady rhythm with his, her hips arching, body aching and trying to force her to move her fingers faster, push them further in search of pleasure she won't give herself just yet. It has her keening into his mouth even as she returns the kiss as best as she can, as she pants and moans and trembles next to him.
(Would that he could touch her too, she thinks, but the stubborn worry holds him back from asking it aloud.) ]
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That thought aside, he's also reaching a point his own body is craving more finally too with the way he's starting to throb, to ache, and to just simply crave her further beyond the slow pace. Maybe it's why during the kiss he can't help but murmur:) ... did you... want to use my hand then instead...? (Stubborn worry seems to have gone out the window finally, traded with a desire to touch her instead of holding himself back as he tried to earlier.
It's impossible to ignore it in the need he has, if he can't take her the way they both did desire thanks to his injury for now then he'll give her his heat in any other manner she wishes. Truthfully he doubts at this point he'd have minded if she quite literally found other ways to take advantage of him being unable to move if anything catches her fancy.
... gods, Kaeya would be laughing right now at the thought of Diluc doing something that obscene like letting Eula sit on his face if she wanted to or anything else.
But that isn't the point of him wanting to let her do whatever she chooses with him whether he's injured or not when their heat and more becomes unbearable. He'll let her take as she wishes too to, it wouldn't be fair if it was simply only him taking in the end as is.)
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[ It's not true; she does want his hand, almost desperately so, especially with the heat she can feel from where it sits, the heat it's generating in response to Diluc's want; she knows he wants to do it just as much as she wants him to do it— And yet her words hold firm between their lips, even as her hips stutter in frustration against her own fingers. ]
Told... told you... mmn. [ It's hard to even finish a sentence. She swallows hard, parting from the kiss long enough to do so, her breath harsh against his lips as she tries again: ] Told you not to move. That... a-ah, that would be moving. So no...
[ She presses her lips against his again, perhaps an effort to prevent him from arguing against her on it, her movements continuing at a pace far too slow for her own liking, although as she feels him hardening under her touch once more she does allow herself to speed up just a little. ]
Is it... it's okay? Not too much too soon?
[ And then, without even a pause for breath, a gasped-out request, the idea striking her lips before it even settles in her mind: ]
Tell me what you would do. If... If I let you touch.
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... maybe... press the heat into you... slowly... first. Work it into you through my fingers... but not enough to burn. (He wants her to feel pleasure not like she's going to have somewhere that sensitive melting and on fire in a painful way. Though he's positive she'd kill him if he did burn her folds.
His resonance can always complicate things which is maybe why he idly wonders if he should mention the other thought that he knows Kaeya would in fact label him obscene about with his usual tone being all too cheerful about it. Even if he'd want to punch him for it, it's still something Diluc himself wants to potentially do if she wants it more.)
That or... if you wanted my tongue instead... (At the cost of them not being able to kiss for awhile because he'd put it to task on her in retaliation to being driven this insane from want. Like right now with how much he's hardening and gods is it starting to get unbearable in both forms.)
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And at the same time, she spreads her legs a little wider, two fingers pressing into her entrance in a hard and fast rhythm, just in time for Diluc to start answering her other request, talking about pressing the heat into her... about taking his tongue to her...
She curses against his mouth, hips canting against her fingers almost frantically at this point, her movements against him stuttering just slightly although after a moment she manages to gain her momentum back, matching her own rhythm as she gasps and moans. ]
Gods. Tell me... tell me what you'd do with your tongue, Ragnvindr. Please.
[ Forget his resonance, she's burning up all on her own, practically able to feel the heat of his fingers in her despite the reality of it being her own cool touch, stomach clenching and thighs trembling as she draws ever closer, breath ragged and helpless. ]
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Though he's grunting quietly against her lips, it isn't long before he starts to use some of his newfound thoughts to his advantage but not before trying to get out some manner of words:) ... it near... feels impossible to think, so I'll show you another way. (Would Kaeya be proud of him? Probably. Whenever he runs that searing tongue of his across her lips, tortuously slowly, he's teasing her just about first knowing the heat of it.
Knowing that she can't get enough of that heat either. It feels almost like as if despite injury he's growing confident enough to experiment or maybe use other methods to express his intentions for these things since he knows that normally he tends to go off her mood. Initiating this is going to be a first since originally it was her tongue coaxing his to act to begin with anyway; a fact which he's hoping he learned enough from.
Honestly Diluc's more thankful that the experience he got from their time... dating? He guesses it's dating, was more than enough to learn from though some things like dirty talk are out of reach. Enough that Kaeya would laugh the two of them aren't use to it; maybe enough that Diluc would pour more mint berry down his throat.)
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