vergeltung: (013)
đ„đźđ„đš đ‹đšđ°đ«đžđ§đœđž ([personal profile] vergeltung) wrote in [community profile] sempiternals2023-01-07 10:13 pm

softer than rain, harder than pain | @dawnbreaked

[ Trusting him was a mistake.

It was easier when she was a free agent, not having to worry about anyone else, focusing only on what she needed, what her company needed, working on a professional and not personal level, keeping her distance from others and letting them keep their distance from her.

It was lonely, but it was easier.

As a free agent, for example, she never would have been pacing the kitchen of the Dawn Winery with clenched fists and burning eyes, trying not to just snap and break something while Diluc's staff tend to him behind closed doors, caring for him through an unconsciousness going on at least a few hours now. She wouldn't be trembling with the cold horror of her Vision's resonance, nor dealing with tears she's unable to hide, sparkling as they are like diamonds frosted to her eyelashes. It wouldn't have been her for whom Kaeya came running, grave anxiety written over his face, tears of his own evident in the redness of his eyes and cheeks despite his attempts to hide them; she wouldn't have even known this was happening—

Somehow the thought does nothing to ease her churning, angry stomach. Eula closes her eyes and cups a hand over her mouth, convinced for a moment she's going to vomit. The free hand waves away whatever staff member it is who's trying to comfort her— she doesn't know these people, not enough for this— before coming to rest on the counter in front of her. She can feel the anxiety trembling through her skin where it contacts the furniture.

I swear, Ragnvindr, she thinks, a tight hold on the counter as if that will somehow make it better, if you get through this I'm going to kill you myself.

...

He'd better get through this. ]
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-01 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
(It was in that moment he realizes he may have messed up in one way, knowing though she spent three weeks without touching him after that day, he spent way longer than that not touching her. A thought which he had forgotten about in the alcohol once he finds himself dragged toward her, their lips together for that brief moment so filled with heat. So filled with desire once he finds himself dealing with a sudden flare of his instincts knowing he should eat first.

That they should eat first once that hunger reaches his eyes, darker than ever, more fire consuming them in response as if showing he's very close already to being pushed over the edge from how his brain for a moment near forgets about the food he made. He's trying to not bend so early yet gods, that just made it harder knowing the wait was more torturous on him.

It's taking more than he thought he had to resist the urge to just pull her close and give her a kiss of his own in response to match that heat she gave him. If she was paying attention she'd likely notice the difficulties he's having too in resisting now completely.

That torture is going to obliterate his willpower.

Or to be more specific, it is already whenever he's at a point that the urge is there so intensely it's going to be a wonder if he can hold back fully. If not enough to at least give her the chance to finish eating first in exchange.)


... it's going to be a hard wait.

(And he'll be lucky to not ruin her dress.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039633)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-01 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
(Another flare up.

It's evident that he's just barely holding himself back but with the way that smoldering flame seems to be near igniting, fingers clenching tightly with him noticing his heat is at a level beyond his usual with this. Likely from the weeks of frustration but taking his eyes off her near feels impossible with him attempting to not act just yet being tested not only by the way she just made a show of licking her lips, but her words given in response.

His imagination flaring is making this worse too knowing that he's quite literally feeling as if he's on fire. All she has to do is push one more time by the look in his eyes and he'll break apart so easily from the frustration, from how much he wants her even as he tries to remind himself that they should finish eating in futility. There's not a chance they will at this rate.

Not with the way he's looking at her, having to completely concentrate instead of talking since he can't rip his eyes away long enough for anything else now in the way he's close to putting her against the table like this nearly or close to dragging her into his lap. His mind hasn't made a decision yet there but it's likely going to be his lap.)


... gods. (Though he says it more to himself, his tone betrays him in his hunger, his fire filled hunger that so badly wants to flood him through the restraint he's just barely holding against her. He's going to wind up doing something that dangerous knowing that with his heat the way it is, that it will be a miracle if he doesn't burn her.

... even if he doubts she'd mind that.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16057882)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-01 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
(Controlling himself is so difficult, so much more harder knowing that they were both wanting. She didn't just play too close to his flame but she managed to make it grow more with how much longer he himself had to abstain from touching her as much as he wanted to. This thought was driving him insane too, that aching want that wants to surround the two of them with him knowing she can just as easily reach over to grab his tie once he absentmindedly pops another Samosa into his mouth since his own part of the meal wasn't too far from finished.

He's trying to wait so that she can finish if anything.

It's obvious that's what he's trying to do knowing were he to wait any longer than that his patience is going to run out before he can remotely get anywhere near done on anything else with her. He can do that much knowing his struggle, knowing that between the two of them it's so very apparent that they're not going to get through the rest of the meal.

Knowing that if he drinks the rest of his wine, he'd be unable to stop himself from cracking entirely, he's abstaining from that too with how much the alcohol is pushing him toward caving as well. It seems this taught him another thing ironically. That he's prone to being hormonal like her by far more than his usual while under the influence, or rather, it's something she gets personally whereas others don't get to see it.

Others would only get to see him clingy and sleepy in contrast, she gets despite his best efforts from that torturous three weeks hormonal and clingy instead. Maybe it's a good thing he refuses to drink in public then.)


... I know. (Her words barely register, trying to keep himself together a little longer right as his eyes settle on her lips. The desires still there to take and to let this flame consume them but he has to force it down for now.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16033642)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-04 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
... I think so.

(Burning, he's burning and he can feel it eating at him more, more and more as the feeling of his body aches in a desire to burn them both into pieces. Burn away everything, their thoughts, their bodies, their hearts with him trying so very hard to not bend in the fact he needs so desperately her. Her touch, her lips, their bodies melting after this long wait that they both had to suffer through whenever he wanted more of her to the point he considers it a feat he didn't break earlier.

With the way he spoke it's far too late for them to stop. His need and his desperate want of the person who almost feels as if she completes him more than he would have once known before is so strong. Even if he can't reheat the food with it retaining it's flavor he'll consider it enough of a success that she enjoyed it down to the Samosa's since he did want to show off for a change.

Before they broke apart like this into pieces since he's withholding just a little longer, he's so very close to her and the alcohol making him looser isn't helping much either with the urge he has to just lean in and break apart the remaining wall.

That is until he gives up on holding back with the intensity of his need hitting strongly enough that aching fire in him that needed her grew so loud that he could no longer find his restraint as capable of holding himself back. In that moment he cracks, he leans in and kisses her, hard at that yet so filled with fire it's likely going to be a wonder he's not breathing it.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16062168)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-05 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
... could we even make it to my bed? (Good question is something that is hitting him, really he didn't care where they were as much as he had thoughts of taking her in his lap like this. Her pulling him close like this isn't helping either with his thoughts, through a mutual feeling of how much he missed her, had in fact needed her so badly that it was destroying him. If she says they couldn't then his option B is going to be the chair like this or against the wall on the way there.

Archons, even against his bedroom door is fine by him as long as it's her. The alcohol on her lips gives him a further sensation of feeling inebriated too. He's already against her in all the right ways by now and knows good and well she can feel how ready he is. The food comment can wait more though he knows she can easily drag him by his tie wherever she pleases given there's not a single complaint about it on his mind.

Just an urge to have her and to give her wordlessly those feelings again that were so strongly burning.

Even that didn't feel like enough, it never would feel like enough whether it be by words or their bodies. It's enough to make him wonder if this was how his father once felt with his mother but that's not a thought for this moment, he didn't need to be thinking more of that when she needs him most. That's something for when their want, their need is sated.)


I don't think I care much... where we wind up at. (Murmuring the words into their kiss, her lips aside, he found it best to voice that while he still could knowing he's so close to breaking still.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-05 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
(It's the thought that counts. Since not even he was wanting to use a kitchen chair knowing that he's at a point that if they wound up breaking it and on the floor he'd have rather them not there. So trying to reach the bed and winding up against the wall, door, wherever? That's fine as a trade off once he gets pulled into following her though the heat leaving him is worsening with each step; that craving he has growing and his eyes darkening further with his own hunger.

Barely restrained heat, intense want and need that's flaring so badly once she takes hold of his tie, his dress shirt again and dragging him up against her. Their hips were rocking together now, his arousal throbbing at this point with an ache he didn't think possible. That heat he felt was at a point the fire in him finds itself seeking her so desperately once he kisses her hard again, so very hard and fire filled.

He didn't know where to start, it already felt as if his hips were mindlessly following her rhythm knowing how much he's wanted this with her. It's hard to think, hard to pull away, hard to get his hands to do anything but taking hold of her thighs to get his belt undone and trousers down just enough for this. Gods he can't believe he's lost himself this much already.)


Can't... stop... (The words though breathlessly gasped out in between kisses were husky, raw, wanting and hungry even. He'll try to move after like she suggested, right now this is overloading his senses already.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039638)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-05 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
(As hazed as his mind is, he does find himself in that time apart looking curiously about what she wore this time once he spots the black thong she had on beneath the dress. His hips rutting did pause enough to make this easier but gods that was harder than he'd like to admit to do.) ... thong this time? (He can get out that much after some thought. Compliments might be a little too far-fetched but he can try that maybe a little even if his arousal is making this harder. It being freed just adds on to it given the ache is much more noticeable.

Diluc himself is by no means amazing at 'dirty talk', as he's realized before that's more Kaeya's show. Yet it isn't as if he can't help the imagery in his mind of her in them. Honestly that flame that's been ignited seems pleased at the thought by how his eyes look since he doesn't have the mental capacity to speak out everything as much as he'd like.

Maybe he even would tried but the thought goes back out the window once her mouth is back on his, thinking going out the window with his own lips back at it hard with hers once one of his hands finds it's way on the leg she coils around him. With their hips rutting together, almost mindlessly, he shouldn't keep her waiting too long anyway.

Length in his other hand, he soon enough lines up with her core and pushes onward, to the hilt and deep. There's almost a sigh of relief in their kiss from his part from how much he needed her in that time frame, even with his mind being in a haze to a degree he manages to mutter against her lips:)
... I really did miss you. (Not just the physical part, but in general is what's unsaid there knowing words are hard.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16035740)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-07 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
(The sweltering heat from his body is strong, strong enough that were he not careful they'd both be leaving with this with more burn marks than marks left out of the unspoken emotions that the two of them have felt together. For now he's stopping it, fighting it down so that it didn't dare to interrupt them by making it harder once Diluc finds himself drawn in closer after noticing the way she even felt relieved by their reunion in a sense.

This isn't something he wants to let go of even now with his heart pounding, it felt all too similar to his first with her. Diluc rarely trusts, trust was something one had to work hard to obtain and yet he finds himself unable to help the emotions, the thoughts, and the feelings that were rising from this. He knew by now what this was he felt but it only drives it home further for him.

He's in love with her and it's so maddeningly deep that he swears she could ask him to do anything and he'd do it for her. All within some manner of reason once he finds himself at hearing her reply, melt, their bodies were close enough she'd feel the heat easing in a sense from being near positively boiling them.

All from this love he has for her.

He won't tell a soul but her those words whenever he could finally say them to their face; this silence is more than enough with their bodies saying it and answering it for them instead. After the pause, it's soon enough his work starts in earnest with his thrusts beginning again.

It's taking everything he has and more to give her all of him now without that blame searing them both into a shared hell due to it. Something that Diluc would give her time and time again regardless of his vision being an issue to some thanks to the sheer heat from his body.)
Edited (I went to double check after waking up) 2023-02-07 21:05 (UTC)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16057883)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-09 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
(Ironically that makes two of them, with how long it's been, causing him to wonder if he should slow down to savor it more. Maybe, since the thought of it being slow isn't all bad... it just would make it a lot different than simply sex as Kaeya describes it often times much to his rather large annoyance. However his mind would much rather not think about that whenever he's drawn in so closely; like neither of them wished to let go which he's almost certain is true enough given their track record.

More, more, and more. The feeling has yet to fade, to seek more of her in everything she wants to give him from their bodies to moments they both long since told themselves they shouldn't dream about to begin with. It's only now that he for the time being eases into something slower with his rhythm, the fire still there, but something more different than the heated passion that they've had.

A slow burning passion even if his heat is dizzying for the two of them; as if to greet her with something more 'appropriate' than just the heat intensely taking everything at the start from them. This time to him it feels as if he's made a return home and only seeks to take something of these moments with her slow before it consumes them further.

Whether it works or not, he's not going to be sure though the feeling of it is something else he's welcoming immensely.

He can speed up again if she wants him to, since Diluc knows he'll always want to at any time she needs.)


I'm not, tell me if it's too slow... (Because he didn't want her to think he'd stay at that pace either if she finds it too fast or slow for her liking.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16051465)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-10 07:50 am (UTC)(link)
(Slow burning passion, something that feels romantic in it's slowness even if prolonging it can be frustrating on both sides. He's close to her by now enough that emotion in his eyes he knows is love seems to peer out enough though wordlessly. The fast pace as nice as it was isn't something he wants her to think he's only after, the intimacy of this with his slow and deep rhythm is enough to make him melt more by now.

It's perfect she says, then he'll have to remember this for if they find themselves ignoring dinner to simply just lose themselves in what is their hearts singing in a way out to one another. Begging for their partner in their dance to respond though he knew how much he did need her, will always need her as this realization sinks in further.

His grunts are soft, the brief moment of air he gets from her parting soon taken away.

He can see something is in her eyes but the desperation of this kiss makes him wonder if she was trying to say more than she knew for now. Who knows, but, he does know that he can't help the way he meets her desperation with his own. His own love and desperation as his intrusive thoughts are quelled to silence. A much welcomed surprise, a much needed one. She knows his answer after all. He loves her, more than he ever would have thought.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039635)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-11 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
... that... makes two of us. (Gods. He's been teetering between it this whole time, not enough yet enough, wanting and needing yet aching in it once he finds himself speeding up just enough to not lose the more tender feeling of this pace he took up. He's so very close to the edge and not wanting to let go of her nor for her to let go of him once his heat builds into an intensity it's a wonder his clothes aren't on fire.

That can be something he worries about later, the fire in him wants out, wants out so desperately in the way he's staring at her. In the way he's up against her right as he doesn't notice how disheveled his ponytail has become, the way it's draping over them just enough with the sweat coming off his body in such a way others would be concerned at the sight.

He'll need water after this before they carry on, is his only thought, that way she didn't worry completely about him knowing his vision can raise his heat to some rather... interesting levels. Especially whenever it comes to them being joined together like this.)


... hold on to me... just like this...

(There's a tenderness in the way he says it, the way he's breathless and wanting. She'd likely want to see more of this from him is his last coherent thought on the matter, before his head goes empty with nothing more than her, only her, in how she drives him insane, how she causes him to melt away into something he thought long gone.

Something he deems will always be meant for her.)
dawnbreaked: (pic#16039639)

[personal profile] dawnbreaked 2023-02-11 07:39 am (UTC)(link)
(There's a moment of silence as his own release follows, tense muscles easing with him taking care to hold her knowing that she likely won't be anywhere near capable of moving. Then again he's not any better, having to support himself with her like this knowing that he did over do it a little with how the start went. He's quiet and breathing, catching his breath from how his panting sounds near ragged whenever she speaks at first.

There's nothing said yet but he is looking at her, wondering what it is she might wish to say before the realization creeps in. Eyes soon widening at hearing those words but not out of fear or anything in the way his cheeks soon heat up similarly to his scarlet locks; did she just... no, he knows he heard it right, here and now then? That's the surprise of it.

At first he contemplates how to answer, if he should knowing she was out of it. Not giving her an answer is worse knowing there's no running away from any of this once he kisses her, preemptively, to help first with any frightened thoughts she might get about it knowing how it just came out.

The answer she deserves, he'll meet it then:)


I love you too, Eula...

(That isn't said through the alcohol either, nor their inability to hold back from being physical, but truly something he wants to say. Wanted to tell her even.)

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