sempiternals | How could your heart be stolen by a human?

I don't have anything else to say, Kaveh.

( Kaveh is a scholar, a genius at that, he shouldn't have to listen to the words when everything is spelled clearly between words. Wriothesley is still trying to determine his own emotions so giving Kaveh the clear-cut answer he so desperately wants is still universes away.

He's not running from him, but from himself, and how frightening it is to leave his emotions in the hands of another. He's not handing out his heart on a silver platter just because someone asks him to.

Words muffle between their lips as Kaveh rushes his arms around his neck. Is this truly the right way to communicate when the conversation is over? Wriothesley tries to lean away from his kiss so he can at least voice whatever else is on his mind.

Kaveh...

He mutters as their lips collide more. Wriothesley pushes him back against the other side of the frame with the same energy, though most of the impact is cushioned by his arms wrapping up around Kaveh's waist. His breath is harsh against him and he pulls away after some labor.

This isn't right. It's not right that Kaveh keeps breaking his boundaries when there's a heap of issues to settle. As much as he likes kissing him, something about this is reasonably bitter. )

I need you to stop.

[ For a moment, it seems like it will be okay. That he's been forgiven the trespass he took to get them here and that maybe, where words failed them, the feelings between them can speak. But then Wriothesley pulls himself out of the kiss, tells Kaveh in no uncertain terms to stop— and the blonde does. He pulls himself away, folds his arms over his chest as if it will somehow fix everything, takes a deep, shuddering breath. ]

Okay. Alright. I get it.

[ Why, why does he keep fighting so hard for this? Every single time, all that happens is that he winds up alone and hurting, and Kaveh has spent his whole fucking life being both of those things, and he's tired of it—

He straightens up, and whatever tears he would usually cry don't come. Not this time. ]

I'm sorry. That wasn't like me, and I shouldn't have done it. I, um... you go ahead and change. I'll go back to my room, and— get ready for work, and once I've cleaned these I'll drop them back off to you, okay?

[ Maybe it really is just time for him to stop. ]

I'll see you later, Your Grace.

( There's a red line between persistence and betrayal and he knows that perhaps to some extent, he deserved betrayal. This is Kaveh handing him back the karma for subduing him with alcohol and kissing him. That's why it feels like poison, it feels like all the wrong steps are being taken just so they can race to the finish line.

He's hurting, too, especially as he watches everything built over the night collapse in front of him and leave him at ground zero. If he's going to live it up in his room again while he's still bruised to hell, he'll need to deal with Mael as soon as feasibly possible. )

Please see Sigewinne before you go back to work.

( He lets the rest of his words choke right under his tongue. He's unsure what else he's supposed to explain when he already said enough. He told Kaveh essentially the same thing he told Navia. Clearly, Navia's way of doing things isn't what's right for Kaveh, and what Kaveh wants isn't something Wriothesley can readily provide.

To think he'd ever hear the words "Your Grace" and feel them carve out a hole in his heart.

He grabs breakfast after he showers and changes with newly found rage specially made for Mael.

More guards are moving around the factory area and Kaveh's grounds, too. Surely it's because Wriothesley is upping the security after the incident.

Thanks to his network and Gardes, Wriothesley gets through the piping leading to the room where Mael's guys live in. It's no wonder he preferred Kaveh's room, but that ends today. )

Sorry, ladies.

You, come with me. We're going on a field trip. It'll be fun.

[ When Kaveh gets to the Infirmary, it's to be told that in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS is he going back to work that day. Instead, he ends up spending it alone in his room, sketching miserable image after miserable image until he gives up and buries himself in a pile of pillows and blankets. Sleep doesn't come easy either, though, and the architect spends the night tossing and turning trying to chase it, and by the time he goes back to work the following day, his bruises have faded, but the circles under his eyes are dark on a pale face.

He washes Wriothesley's clothes, and he's halfway through drying them when Mael comes into the communal laundry, flanked on either side by a lackey, and Kaveh's heart sinks into his stomach when he recognizes the other man, something almost impossible to do through the extent of the bruising on his face, and the sickening sneer twisting it into something ugly and cold. ]

Look who we have here, boys, [ he drawls, strolling into the laundry with the two of them a step behind, drawing invisible circles around Kaveh as the blonde seeks a way out. ] It's the guard dog's favorite bitch.

Leave me alone, Mael—

[ Lips press to his ear— shh— and Kaveh feels something sharp at his throat. He swallows, larynx bobbing against the blade, trying to steady his breathing as the criminal breathes instructions in his ear. ]

Here's what's going to happen, bitch. You're going back to the Warden, and you're gonna tell him you lied, alright? That you couldn't keep your whore legs shut and somehow poor Mael got caught in the middle—

I said leave me alone! [ Kaveh shoves against the grip holding him, and things are suddenly moving too fast for him to comprehend. There's the flash of a knife— he dodges— blinding pain in an explosion across his chest, a splash of blood— Mael's lackeys are wide-eyed with panic— shit! this wasn't meant to happen, boss! you said we was just scarin' him!— they run— Mael lunges again and this time Kaveh is fast enough, eyes closing and a flash of green coiling around the man's feet like a vine, tripping him.

Kaveh runs.

And for the second time in three days, he knocks on Wriothesley's door, injured. ]

( He'd counted at least ten bruises on Kaveh's arms and face combined, so Wriothesley gives him twenty. In another circumstance, he would let his Gardes handle any incidents and punishments, namely consisting of solitary confinement.

This, Mael understands, is more than personal, and even Wriothesley can't hide the fact from him. Mael doesn't need the wording to understand the meaning behind each of his punches and perhaps if Kaveh hadn't confessed, he wouldn't have hit him this hard.

When he's back in his room for the day, he treats his fists first thing. Impacting bones that much does a number on him. From permanent scars and gashes cutting over his knuckles, to the bruising of punching itself. Even after they're wrapped and hidden behind the black bandages he wears, his fingers still show signs of bruising. His knuckles are still prominently swelled. )

Kaveh?

( He fastens the last bit of bandage before he exits the bathroom to open his door. Then something else takes over. Muted silence ringing between his ears the instance he's met with Kaveh drenched in blood. At first, he thinks it might be a red shirt he's wearing if it wasn't for the punch of iron hitting his nostrils. It's a smell he's far too familiar with.

A sight he hasn't seen in a long, long time.

Wriothesley moves quickly, pulling Kaveh in to guide him to the bathroom. He's not as dexterous with his beat hands. He drops the rolls of bandages and forgets about them, moving on to grabbing the first aid kit before the situation slowly permeates his brain. After a minute, he begins to listen again, searching Kaveh's face and examining for more injuries.

This is why. This is why they can't work. Or why Kaveh doesn't belong here. He shouldn't have to bleed to prove his point, Wriothesley never wanted it to come to this. He would ask what happened, but something else is far more pressing. )

We need to clean your wound immediately. Would you please have a seat?

( There's a chair in the bathroom near the powder area by the sink. )

Can you move your arms? I'll have to cut your shirt so I can see better.

Was it him? Yes or no.

I'm okay. I'm okay, Wriothesley.

[ Kaveh says it at least three times, but the words seem to fall on deaf ears. He's probably been hurt worse in the desert before, if he's honest, and he wants to tell the other man as much, but there's something between them in this moment, something fogging the warden's vision as he grabs Kaveh with swollen hands to drag him into the bathroom, to sit him down and ask if he can move, a flood of instructions and questions falling over him before he can event complete the first.

And in Wriothesley's eyes, something that frightens him, something faraway and distant and cold.

For now, all Kaveh can really do is let himself be swept along with the deluge of ice, so he lifts his arms to answer one question, and nods to answer another, and doesn't speak to answer until the other man is already working on it, knowing there's no point trying to stop him or slow him down.

Only once his shirt has been cut off does he open his mouth again— and then close it again, not really sure what to say. He could try to lighten the air, make a joke, say maybe he'll have a sexy scar now too. He could ask if it's as bad as it looked at first, now that he can see it more closely. There are a lot of things he could say or do— but none of them feel right.

Instead, he just says quietly once more: ] I'm okay. I got away.

( The gash isn't as deep as the amount of blood makes it seem, that much is revealed after Wriothesley uses multiple small towels to absorb and clean it off. Antiseptic is diluted in some water to not cause Kaveh a worse sting, and then he covers it with cotton squares and bandages, visibly calmer.

Eyes flicker towards Kaveh's face as he loops the bandage around his torso for a snug fit. It will become a sexy scar, surely, not that Kaveh needs it to accentuate his allure. He could stand in the middle of the room doing nothing and still draw in Wriothesley's gaze. )

Did he do this, Kaveh?

( He asks again, taking in a long breath to fill his lungs and release all the tension building pressure in his mind. He already gave Mael his two chances. He's not waiting for Kaveh to get hurt again, or worse. In the Fortress, Wriothesley can make his own rules if he wishes, or he can bend them on a case-by-case basis. )

Tell me what happened.

...Yeah. He did.

[ This time, Kaveh confirms it out loud, rather than simply nodding. A guaranteed answer for the other man who earlier was too caught up in his own head to see through the rage and worry to the blonde's nodding. At least now Wriothesley seems to be breathing again, his gaze more focused as he looks back up at Kaveh's face.

He asks for details, so Kaveh gives them. ]

I was in the laundry, and he came in with two of his friends. He was circling me, taunting me, and when I told him to leave me alone, he put something sharp— I guess it was probably a knife— against my throat and threatened me. Told me I had to fix everything so he was right with you again. I shoved him off and then he came for me, and...

[ He frowns. This is where things start to get a little hazy. ]

I think he was trying to stab. But I moved, and I got this instead. His friends panicked and ran away. They said something, I don't remember what. And he came at me again, so I used my Vision to trip him.

Then I ran, and I didn't stop until I got here.

[ He's been dry-eyed since their last fight, and it seems to continue even now, his expression tired but not weepy as he looks up at the other. ]

Did I... do the right thing?

( Indeed, Kaveh nodding was previously missed due to his vision going red. Now, with the confirmation, he can better prepare himself psychologically to welcome back justice into his own hands. )

You did the right thing, Kaveh.
I want to propose you something. You don't have to agree to it, but just know it comes from a place of care.

( He glances down, too, lost amidst the haze of vivid rage still. To think Mael was attempting to snuff out the life out of Kaveh for no reason at all, he hates the thought of it. )

I want you to stay here with me, at least for tonight and maybe tomorrow night. If you need anything, I can assign you a personal escort until this incident is filed properly. After that, you're free to do whatever you'd like like usual.

How does that sound?

[ Kaveh is quiet for a moment as the question is asked of him. He understands why Wriothesley is asking it, too— and of course, there's an immediate, aching urge to say yes. He's scared, after all— terrified; while he may have gotten the upper hand over Mael this time, it doesn't mean he will next time. Staying here in the warden's protection makes the most sense.

But last time he was here, they woke up... like that, and Kaveh promised himself it wouldn't happen again, and... ]

I... I think we'll need some ground rules, if this is what we're going to do. [ His voice is quiet, possibly quieter than Wriothesley has ever heard it, as they feel their way over the words. ] But... I agree that it's the best idea we have right now.

( He’s fully prepared to actually take the couch upstairs in his office so Kaveh can take over his bed. He, too, is offering his safety with additional precautions in mind to prevent them from having another argument.

Kaveh’s voice is so quiet, it makes Wriothesley wonder if he’s reluctantly asking for rules. He helps him up so they can continue their conversation in the bedroom. )

I’m all ears. Anything you need.

[ He smiles as he's helped up, and then moves alongside him in silence for a moment or two, trying to think of how to say what he needs to in words— without causing another fight between the two of them.

After a moment, he tries: ]

Could we... bring in a mattress or something for me to sleep on? I don't think either of us should sleep on the floor or the couch. But I also... it's probably not best if we're sleeping next to each other again, is it?

[ Although the truth is that he would in a heartbeat, if push came to shove. He can't help himself in that way. ]

( He pulls out the chair from his small desk in case Kaveh rather use it than sitting on the bed. As for Wriothesley, he gives him plenty of space as he stands off to a side, leaning on a wall.

It’s as he expects, though part of him hoped Kaveh would want him in bed together. )

Of course. I’ll have someone bring one in for you.

Anything else?

[ Noting the chair pulled out for him, Kaveh takes it— he sees what Wriothesley is doing, and appreciates it— appreciates it more when the other agrees to have a bed pulled in for him.

And then he's asked if he needs anything else, and he frowns, shakes his head. No, there's really... he should be fine, as long as he can sleep and do his work...

He pauses, chews on his lower lip for a little. ]

Could we talk?

( The follow up question feels like a surprise. For some reason, he also didn’t expect Kaveh to dive into a talk of any gravity when he clearly needs the rest more than anything. At least his bruises have mostly faded, but the violence left on him is still obvious. Stress piles on like the ceiling slowly inching down until there’s nowhere else to run to. )

Of course.

[ He can see the stress practically bearing down on Wriothesley in response to his words, and he offers the man a small smile as he shakes his head. ]

Don't worry, [ he says, and then he drops his gaze away from the other man's for a moment. ] I'm not going to ask you to say much. I just— after our last fight, I thought that I should probably...

There are things about me that I feel like I should tell you. If only to... I'd like you to get to know me better.

( Wriothesley walks across to be closer to him, leaning on his small desk instead. He’s fully attentive to him as if nobody else matters in the world. Fetching his mattress can also wait. Kaveh is deceivingly conservative about his personal life, that much Wriothesley knows from the first few times they talked. He knows this because well— he’s the same way. )

I’ve wanted to get to know you from the moment I first saw you, Kaveh.

[ The words are exactly what he's always wanted to hear— but he tries not to let himself lean into the hope too much. Wriothesley has made things all too clear about where they continue to stand in spite of his feelings, and Kaveh sees no reason for that to change anytime soon.

What he can do, though, is explain to the other why he is the way he is, why he's stumbled so many times along the way, made mistake after mistake, held on in the face of no hope. ]

When I was just a kid, there was a festival held in Sumeru. It was celebrated with a championship, and the prize... was the most beautiful diadem I had ever seen. I loved it so much— I even told my father I wanted it. So... he said he'd get it for me. He didn't win, but the championship changed him. As a kid, I didn't understand why, but... anyway, he died in the desert some weeks later.

[ Kaveh closes his eyes, taking in a slow, deep breath. ]

It broke my mother. She would just stare into space and cry a lot. And I guess I kind of ended up being the adult in the house for both of us. But I... I blamed myself for it. For a really long time. Sometimes I still do. If I hadn't eyed that stupid diadem, perhaps he would never have participated—

[ —And that asshole Sachin would never have gotten his claws into him, is the end of that story, even if it's a little too complicated to explain. ]

So... yeah.

( The picture slowly begins to fill itself the more Kaveh explains. He wishes to reach out and pull him into his arms, or give him any sense of condolences. It’s always those who truly have a happy, normal family who end up in ruins.

It’s an unfortunate situation for Kaveh, carrying his father’s death on his shoulders. Wriothesley might also feel the same way if he were a child like Kaveh at the time. )

Sorry about your father, Kaveh.
Circumstance is cruel to live with, but that blame is only going to eat you up inside and leave you with nothing.

I take it you’re not fond of your step father, then?

[ Kaveh listens to Wriothesley's words, shaking his head with a slight protest— ] I don't blame myself anymore! [ —a lie, and not one told with enough time to make it remotely believable. He pauses, and sighs. ] I'm trying not to. I learned some stuff about it that changes my feelings somewhat but... I'm trying.

[ The smile he offers is tired and weak, but genuine, showing the truth of his words this time around. Although in response to the next question, it fades a little, turns more distant. ]

My step father? It's not that I'm not fond of him. He seems like a nice enough guy, and... he makes my mom happy, so that's what really counts, right?

[ Why couldn't I make her happy?

His fingers are trembling. ]

She went to Fontaine on a job once I was in school. Then she fell in love, and left everything in Sumeru behind for good.

[ She left me behind.

While unsaid, the truth of Kaveh's pain underscores each of his words, if Wriothesley looks close enough. ]

( He knows him well enough at this point to tell he's trying to convince himself of something he hasn't quite achieved and that is moving on. Closing the chapter rather than allowing the pages to still cut and wound. The progress is never easy and he knows it might be a long way ahead for Kaveh.

Something else he mentions sinks deep in him. He straightens up as he watches him, alert and focused. Sure, leaving behind a loved one to find a new life could leave even more tender scars. Wriothesley understands the sentiment featured in Kaveh's eyes, and how terrifying it would have been to be left alone without true guidance.

It's very little to go off of, so he's not sure if this is another unresolved issue Kaveh may have with her, or if she was a "bad" mother. Considering how well Kaveh's heart turned out, he doubts it would have been the case. )

Would you have preferred her to stay with you?

[ In response to Wriothesley's words, Kaveh is quiet for a moment.

Then, slowly, he nods. ]

Of course. I would have wanted that more than anything. But at the time I felt like... I didn't have the right to ask her not to leave. I was the one who destroyed her happiness, after all. How could I have asked her to stay and destroy it all over again?

...That was when I learned what the difference is between a house and a home.

[ He remembers sitting there on the divan, having come home from her wedding, looking around at the house that they used to share together, the three of them, full of memories and light and laughter, now empty and cold. ]

Anyway, I... When you don't like yourself much to begin with, and the people you love the most choose to leave you, it... it becomes very hard to believe anyone would ever want to stay by your side. [ He talks carefully, here, using the third person as shield, not allowing his words to become too personal. ] Sometimes it becomes about running away to protect yourself before you can get hurt.

There’s everything to like about you. Aren’t you being too hard on yourself? I’ve seen the way you work, which may not be so bad in the field when everything has to be perfect.

But you’re a person, not a robot or building.

( He carefully reaches over to drag fingers through his hair, then moves closer to him.

He could try to convince Wriothesley of anything but the guilt is vivid on his face. It’s poisoning him and Wriothesley can’t do much to help Kaveh through this.

He’ll have to face his own demons rather than expect the world to shift for his sake.

Perhaps he has heard words like this in the past, but Wriothesley knows better than to point it out. He does live in an underwater prison factory, after all. What right does he have to tell Kaveh how to live his life? )

Have you told her how you feel about her having left you? I admit it seems selfish from where I stand, leaving a child behind like that.

But I don’t know her like you do.

( This makes Wriothesley think more, he should have never confessed or kissed or given him any room for a chance at all. Just to watch him wither in pain again?

But they’re here and he’ll play the cards he has.
He looks away with a stern smile, oh Wriothesley knows everything about running away. )

Sometimes protecting ourselves is all we have learned to do.

[ He smiles at the hand through his hair, eyes briefly closing. But in response to Wriothesley's question, Kaveh shakes his head. ]

Of course not. How could I? If I were a parent, there's no way I could do the same, but— it was her grief, right? She had to process it the best way she knew how. And... [ He falls off for a moment, offering the other man a helpless little smile, one that says that he can't blame her when he still blames himself. ] Anyway.. I don't think it would do any good anymore. It was in the past. I know she loves me. And it's not like she's gonna come back to Sumeru. Besides—

[ That sentence stops more abruptly, and he shakes his head again. ]

Nevermind.

[ Protecting oneself.

And he wonders: is that what Wriothesley's really been doing this entire time, pushing him away and acting like it's all for Kaveh's sake, like he's protecting him from the injustice of being in a relationship that "would never work"? It brings a small, thoughtful frown to his expression, and he falls silent. ]

If she loves you, that's what matters. But if there's something still weighing heavy in your heart, well, she's your mom...

( A concept Wriothesley never became familiarized with. He looks away and his arms cross. He only ever fell for a beautiful lie in the shape of a family and a normal childhood is something well out of his understanding or reach.

He can trust himself, though. His attraction for Kaveh is real and burning but the bigger issue is dormant beneath every nuance. The closer one gets, the more difficult Wriothesley makes it for them to walk through open doors.

Of course, his concern about Kaveh's safety is also well intended. Especially his freedom. )

Are you alright? If you want to get some rest, I'll go ahead and get my mattress. Or I can always make us some tea.

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