sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[Alhaitham's fingers find Kaveh's jaw, stroke the beautiful wings of his bones there, down to the graceful column of his throat as he keeps fucking him in earnest. As his other hand strokes him yet again, this time fast, light, as though asking for Kaveh to climax quickly.

Only to seize that pleasure again after a while. Alhaitham allows his hips to still, grinding in slow, languid circles instead, deep into the enclosure of Kaveh's body, and he groans into his ear.] Ask for it, darling. Ask for more.

[ Kaveh's question goes unanswered, but his attention is tugged away from it again by the way those fingers splay over his throat as Euler's other hand strokes him faster, drawing him closer and closer, right until Kaveh thinks he'll fall over the edge and then— ]

No— [ It's a wail of agony when his orgasm is choked off once more, muscles tensing to no reward, hips stuttering under the other's hand, gasping for breath and trying to roll his hips in the next moment as if that will help him when he's being held so firmly. Euler even slows his own thrusts, and Kaveh whines again: now he has no answer and no release, and he's going crazy.

But that voice groans in his ear, telling him to ask, and the words immediately find Kaveh's lips, tone pleading and desperate: ]

Please, please Euler, I need more, I need to cum please let me cum.. fuck me, do something please—

[Alhaitham smiles. Presses a kiss to his ear.

He won't attend to what he's being asked, but Alhaitham knows that this won't really solve what he thinks is wrong with this whole ordeal, what Kaveh really needs to figure out for himself. He's not in a place to teach or tutor him, either. But at least—

At least he's asking for what he wants and needs here. Underneath him is but a small space, but it's done.]

That's my good baby. [He purrs, and his hand moves again, steady and in sync with the motion of his waist, with the nips on his neck.] Let me see you.

[ It doesn't take him long. Really, he never fell far enough down from the peak for much build up to be required— even with Euler's hand tight around him, he was right there, ready, and so the release of that hand is on its own almost enough of a trigger for him to release.

But the other purrs in his ear, starts moving again all at once, and that is definitely enough, a sharp gasp on Kaveh's lips as everything tightens up and his orgasm hits hard, spilling him over the other's fingers as he cries out, calling his nickname to the air.

He gasps for breath and pants it out in turn, heart hammering in his chest. ]

[Alhaitham follows rather quickly. There's a particular sharp thrust, and he spills over Kaveh's thighs, onto the bedsheets. This is not the first time he's seen Kaveh come undone, and with his beautiful blue eyes closing, the arch of his body, the way he shivers underneath, are still dazzling to witness, and enough to bring Alhaitham to the brink. He holds him tight, groaning his username into his hair, sighing and kissing along his temple, flopping and turning them so he doesn't smother him with his weight, and yet still holds him tight, legs tangled, offering his bicep for Kaveh to use as a pillow.

He sighs. Nuzzles.] Thank you. [He rasps, leaving kisses to his shoulder blades.] You're so beautiful.

[ Kaveh whimpers when he feels the wet heat of Euler's orgasm coating the insides of his thighs. It's far from the first time he's made another person come— he brought Euler over the edge just before, even— but something about it feels unique and special.

Maybe it's how close they were to actually fucking.

He sighs softly as they're turned, still trying to catch his breath, immediately taking the offered bicep and resting his head against it. ]

Mm... you don't have to thank me. I got just as much out of it as you did... You're— you're really amazing, Euler.

[ He yawns, and nuzzles in closer, mostly mindless except for one niggling thought. ]

What did you mean before? When you said I deserve more?

You've provided me with so many good times. I wanted to at the very least return the favor. [It's the truth. He's given Euler so many shows, displaying his pleasure for him to see, treating him like royalty in those private streams. Engaging with him in conversation that's both titillating and intelligent.

But that's not just it. He strokes Pharos' hair behind his ear, careful not to remove the mask, checking on the streamer's wellbeing first and foremost.

He leans in slightly, lips parted, before he stops in his tracks, and lazily, languidly, twists the other way, shifting slightly with a "raise your head for a second?" to rummage through the bedside table.

Ah, there he is. Disinfectant mouthwash. A small sample bottle, which he chugs to swish, and a wet wipe to clean his mouth and spit into. He does everything promptly, throws the rest into a bin at the corner of the room, and then settles back as though nothing had happened.]

Hi. [He smiles, his amusement far more striking in his eyes than his mouth. He reaches to stroke Kaveh's cheek, and then leans in to kiss him. It's soft, so tender.] Is it wrong of me to think the world of you? That you deserve just as much? [He asks when he pulls back, thumb still swiping over his cheek.]

[ Kaveh can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips when Euler tells him that he wanted to return the favor. As far as he's concerned, there was no need for him to do that— after all, the other has paid him more than he'd imagined being paid for the vast majority of his streams, almost single-handedly keeping Kaveh in his too-small, too-expensive apartment. Then there's the conversation, the fact that he's both kind and brilliant, and Kaveh could have made himself be content with what he already had. But for Euler to want this as well... he feels luckier than he can say.

Kaveh is obedient, raising his head and watching idly as the other cleans his mouth, the blonde hit with a pang, once again, over how kind he is. He would have kissed him as they already were, but...

Needless to say, he leans into the kiss when it's given, one hand raising to cup the other man's cheek as he relaxes into it, just as soft and tender, warmly content. And after, he considers the question, lips pursed in a slight frown. ]

It's not... [ Hmm. ] I'm sure it's not wrong. I just.. I'm not really used to people thinking about what I want. But you—

[ A memory strikes him out of nowhere, and his frown deepens. ]

You remember that guy I told you about? He had the nerve to tell me that what you do for me is the bare minimum, and it just... it already made me mad then, but... [ He shrugs, and then pulls a slight face. ] Sorry, I know it's a weird thing to bring up. I just thought of it for some reason. You.. treat me better than anyone else. Like I'm a person, not just.. a sex object, or whatever.

Edited 2024-06-12 13:45 (UTC)

[He was not expecting to be brought up in the conversation, but fortunately for himself, Alhaitham is still riding the high of their post-coital bliss, so he barely reacts physically to it. His eyebrows arch slightly, and he distracts himself with playing with the necklace that Pharos is wearing.

Hm.

He thinks for a moment, chuckles.] Well, depends on what you have told him about me. [He shakes his head]. But I think, what he was poorly trying to say, may have been something along the lines of you being worth treated as a human being, as a person, as you said. And that is the bare minimum.

[He tugs at one blonde strand playfully, wraps it around his finger. Fitting imagery, really.] So in a sense, he may have a point. He may just be terrible at communicating.

[ Kaveh's quiet for a moment. On one hand, he is already mentally scolding himself for bringing Alhaitham into the conversation, for admitting that he was on his mind in some way during what should have been a moment for just the two of them.

On the other, what Euler says makes a lot of sense— not just for this topic, but for others too.

Like their first meeting.

...Ugh, no. Kaveh shakes the thought off and curls in a little closer, humming at the gentle way Euler plays with his necklace, with his hair. He doesn't want to think about Alhaitham right now at all— he's with the man he wants to be with, and it's evident to him that that man cares about him too, so... there's no need for his brain to focus on anyone else, not even for a second. As if to remind himself, he leans, presses a soft kiss to the corner of Euler's mouth.

Changes the topic. ]

You said you wanna work out what I like. [ A pause, as he smiles, as his cheeks redden slightly. ] I liked it when you slapped my ass. When you edged me, too. I know I whined about it, but I could go for longer..

[Seeing Pharos curl closer, lean into a soft kiss, even if his nose scrunches up adorably as he thinks about the reply Alhaitham gives him, is a definite new thing that Alhaitham is witnessing, one that makes his heart flutter, that gets him to fold his arms around him, cradling the streamer closer.

While he's a bit disappointed that Kaveh is changing the topic, he can understand it's probably for the best. There's only so much he can do when… well, talking about himself, so he allows it. He hums, tilting his head a little.] Does this mean you probably enjoy it if I am a little mean to you?

[ Of course, the reply only makes Kaveh's nose scrunch up more, the blonde coiling comfortably closer, legs tangling lazily with Euler's. There's something nice about this that he never expected, nakedly cuddling in the wake of the act even as his heart still works on finding a steady rhythm in his chest— something hard for it to do with the other man so close. ]

Mm... define "mean".

[ He liked what happened, after all. But with his mind so freshly on Alhaitham, supplying other sources of something Kaveh thinks of as unkind, he's not sure whether he likes the idea as a whole. ]

If I, ah, "punish" you, in a way.

[It's a straightforward answer. Alhaitham isn't making the connection, and he'd rather never do. However mean or unkind one can be should be left outside of the bedroom, in his opinion.] With due reward and care after, of course. There are ways I can go about it. Denying you a climax, tying you up. Blindfolds… Inflict a little bit of pain without harm.

Or just denying you, period.[He shakes his head.] Though I believe I'd have a hard time with that last one.

Oh.

[ Kaveh's voice is very quiet, but Alhaitham will see the heat on his cheeks even with the mask concealing part of them. Then, he nods. ]

That all sounds... mm. Except for the last one, they all sound really good. I'd like to try them. But I don't think I'd like it if you denied me as a punishment.

[ His teeth worry at his lower lip. How to go about explaining why without sounding completely pathetic? Without admitting that he's so, so afraid of being left alone that he knows it would paralyze him?

Falling quiet, he curls in closer still. ]

I wanna be yours, so don't deny me. Please.

[He strokes along his spine, and takes a deep breath.

Sweet Celestia, this man saying he wants to be his. Alhaitham's heart breaks as he presses kisses on the crown of his head.

A thumb comes up and soothes that bitten lip.]

Then no denial. I may punish you if you're ever behaving like a brat, but I won't ever leave you alone.

[He snorts.] I wasn't expecting this to be a kink talk, but I'm not complaining.

[ In so much as a breath, Kaveh goes from upset to chuckling, a smile forming on his lips and in his eyes as Euler talks. ]

It doesn't have to be! I was just thinking that... you know, before, you said you wanted to learn together what I liked, so...

[ He presses his own kiss into the other's bicep, where his head is still cradled. ]

I wanna ask what you like too. But we can talk about anything you want, Euler. I just.. honestly, I'm just happy to be here with you.

[The laughter is bound to kill him, more than the moans and the whimpers calling out his name. It's the laughter, that lends the garish colors of the room more life, and everything is sharper, more vivid.

Alhaitham knows he's lost.]

I'll be honest, I haven't been able to explore a lot yet. [He admits, stroking Kaveh's cheek, pinching gently on the flesh pulled by his smile. He's beautiful.] Any of what we discussed sounds very good to me. I can take a more dominating role if you'd like, but I am happy to explore other things, too.

[He presses a soft kiss on his temple.] You're sweet. I'm glad, too.

[ Kaveh yelps— a playful, silly sound— when Euler's fingers pull at his cheek, and he reaches up as if to swat him away, but instead his own fingers close around the other's, holding lightly even as a kiss is pressed to his temple in the moment after. ]

Mm, then we can explore together, right? I know it's not easy meeting up like this but.. I'd like to, when we can.

[ Another kiss to his bicep, and that thoughtful look comes to Kaveh's face again. ]

Will you tell me more about yourself, Mister E? I'm not trying to doxx you or anything— [ a weird thing to say when he's literally in the man's arms ] —but.. I feel like I've unloaded a lot of my problems on you in the past, and you haven't had the chance to share much. I mean if you prefer it that way that's okay too, I just.. thought I should give you the chance, or something. I'd like to know more, if you'll share.

[It's not as though he hadn't been expecting this type of question to come forth, after a while. Alhaitham had been feeding Kaveh some vague information—nothing about his work, nothing about his whereabouts. But Kaveh is, of course, a curious person, as all good scholars should be.

He hums a thoughtful sound.] I wasn't expecting my problems could be pillow talk, but I'm okay with sharing them if you want to listen.

[ Kaveh smiles at the other's comment, offering a slight shake of his head. ]

My problems have been pillow talk more than enough times for us, haven't they? Anyway, it doesn't have to be problems if you want.. I just want to get to know you better, so whatever you want to share, I'll listen to you.

[ He means it. Kaveh has always taken a keen interest in the lives of his loved ones, but this is something beyond that, like a craving to get to know the man better even as he tries to respect the distance he knows they have to have. ]

Alright. [That doesn't stop him from stealing a kiss. Or two. Or three. Kaveh is just a riptide of affection that Alhaitham can't help but sink into. It's with very sweet kisses that he interrupts their conversation, but he eventually does pull back to tug the streamer into a closer cuddle.]

I moved here recently because I was considered persona non grata at my old job. [And he shrugs.] Which is to be expected, considering I had our boss arrested. I found some documentation about the misusage of funds, delivered it to the authorities, and a lot of people were affected by the aftermath. I was not expecting people to congratulate me, but right now, you could say that I'm having some trouble adapting.

[ Despite very much wanting to hear about the other, Kaveh admittedly pouts a little when the other stops stealing those kisses in order to pull him closer. Each of them fills him with a giddiness that he can't exactly describe, and he finds himself smiling a little even as Euler starts to talk.

His expression, though, quickly becomes serious. Come to think of it, something similar happened in his own field recently, although he doesn't know what happened to the whistleblower. He has to imagine it's difficult, though, for Euler's old coworkers as well. If his own research were to get affected by something like this— and it very nearly did, given that that university was angling to buy off members of his own design and planning department— he could end up homeless, and yet at the same time he can't deny it was the right thing to do. ]

I think you did a brave thing, Euler. It's not easy to do the right thing when it's going to have a blowback like that, but you did it anyway. Maybe the people there now don't appreciate it, but others will benefit in the future, so.. yeah.

[ As for the trouble adjusting... ]

I think you told me about the rest, though. You said you worried you'd caused too strong an impression with your new coworkers?

[With a sigh, Alhaitham melts to Kaveh's words, to his earnestness and honesty. If Kaveh believes he did the right thing, then he'll believe Kaveh. And while he bears no guilt over what he's done, the fact is that it's unfortunate that so many people were associated with that malpractice.

He nods, the motion nuzzling into Kaveh's hair.]

I perhaps was too blunt with how I presented myself and the way things were done in my previous job. Was too quick to judge. Naturally, people took offense to it. Hopefully, with time things will change a bit.

[ Kaveh chuckles at that— a gentle, affectionate sound as he uncoils himself just a little, stretching so that he can properly press his mouth to Euler's, the kiss soft and sweet and tender, but also more than the brief pecks of the moments before. ]

You? Too blunt? [ he murmurs against the other's mouth, still smiling, before he pulls away, looking down at him with his eyes bright and warm. ] I think giving it some time is the right thing to do. Let them get to know you a little more, and they'll see you like I do.

[ A pause. ]

Maybe not quite like I do, but.. you know what I mean.

[Alhaitham smiles, his teeth raking over Kaveh's lips as he nips at his lower lip, as he kneads at the flesh of his waist playfully.] Maybe not. He repeats. You're giving me a lot of credit, though. I will admit that the way I went about it was improper.

[Reaching to stroke his hair, Alhaitham draws in a long breath.] I will also admit that I treat you a bit differently than everyone else.

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