sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[Alhaitham enters the living area, balancing a tray with two steaming cups of herbal tea, a soothing blend of chamomile and mint that he selected to help calm their nerves after the emotionally charged day. As he sets the tray down on the coffee table, his gaze sweeps over the thoughtful setup Kaveh has prepared for their movie night. Various snacks are neatly arranged next to a cozy, plush blanket that's draped over the back of the sofa.]

You went all in. I'm impressed.

[His voice carries a note of genuine appreciation as he lowers himself onto the sofa, the cushions yielding softly under his weight. Carefully, he adjusts the blanket, spreading it over their laps to share. His movements are cautious and purposefully slow to ensure he respects Kaveh’s personal space, yet the gesture of pulling the blanket over both their legs bridges a subtle gap between them.

As he settles in, Alhaitham takes one of the cups and offers the other to Kaveh. The warm glow of the room, softened by the dimmed lights and the flicker of the television screen waiting on the movie's start menu, casts a relaxing ambiance.

All's well when it ends well? He's half waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He sips his tea, savoring the gentle heat and the herbal aroma that blends seamlessly with the quieter, more contemplative atmosphere they’ve cocooned themselves in for the evening. As the opening credits of the movie begin to roll, Alhaitham allows himself a moment to fully relax into the cushions, the shared blanket, and the company of someone who is slowly but surely painting his evenings with broader strokes of color and emotion.]

[ Kaveh laughs softly at that. ]

Of course I did. If you're gonna watch a movie with me, you have to do it properly.

[ "Properly" meaning with drinks and snacks and dimmed lights and blankets— and, apparently, cigarettes. He smiles when Alhaitham spreads the blanket over the two of them, and he doesn't move in close the way he would if they were on a date or something similar, but he doesn't move away either, the small space between them comfortable enough for him. ]

Ready?

[ He starts the movie, sips his tea with an appreciative hum. The mint gives a refreshing life to the chamomile, which in turn helps to further dull the sharpened edges of his nerves. And it's about 10 minutes in that he lights the cigarette, allowing himself just enough of a breath to feel and taste it, a soft cloud in the air when he breathes it out.

And, feeling bad about stubbing it out already when the man who let him take it is right next to him, he turns slightly, nudges his knee against the other man's thigh. ]

Not to encourage you in your habits any further, but... Did you want it?

[The whimsical and harmonious strains of the movie's soundtrack fill the room and Alhaitham finds the gentle sway of the narrative and the soothing blend of chamomile and mint in his tea coaxing his senses into a state of relaxed alertness.

He watches Kaveh out of the corner of his eye as he lights the cigarette, taking only a brief draw before exhaling a thin wisp of smoke. The action seems to satisfy some deep-seated craving, and Alhaitham wonders if the taste of nicotine is what Kaveh was truly after—a lingering remnant of the night they shared at the club, perhaps, where amidst the noise and chaos, their kisses were marked by the sharp, underlying bite of smoke. A bit of Euler in the room, while Euler himself watches.]

I don't smoke, [Alhaitham jokes softly, a snort escaping him as he smiles and adds,] I’m good, really. I'll refrain before bed.

[Leaning forward, he reaches for a small, unassuming circular trinket box on the coffee table, opening it to reveal it’s an ashtray. He places it between them, a silent offer of convenience.]

It’s okay if you don’t want more of it. You can stub it out here.

[ He starts a little at the statement that Alhaitham makes, his attention drawn momentarily from the movie. Then, he laughs, a gentle and yet robust sound, another nudge against the other's side as he makes a show of rolling his eyes in the other's direction. ]

You are such an idiot..

[ There's a fondness to his tone that surprises even Kaveh, a warmth in his smile that is completely genuine as his attention follows Alhaitham's hands, watches him open a delicate and beautiful little ornament to reveal it as an ashtray.

Huh. Apparently the man has some aesthetic sense after all. Pleased with the revelation, Kaveh allows himself one more not-quite puff from the cigarette, eyes closing at the way the acrid taste rolls onto his tongue. It's not good, but it's somehow nice, and only as he breathes out once more does he reach to stub it, leaning back into the couch again. ]

Thanks for that. I know it was a weird request.

[The playful rebuke from Kaveh draws a genuine chuckle from Alhaitham, the moment feeling lighter and more personal than many of their previous interactions. The fondness in Kaveh’s voice doesn’t go unnoticed, and it adds a layer of comfort, softening the edges of his usual reserved demeanor.]

Not a problem at all. [Alhaitham’s response is gentle, acknowledging the peculiar request with an understanding nod. He watches Kaveh extinguish the cigarette, glad to have provided even a small comfort.

As the movie continues, the intricate animation and soothing soundtrack work their magic. Alhaitham's body gradually relaxes further into the soft cushions of the sofa, the shared warmth beneath the blanket and the calming herbal tea combining to lull him towards a state of drowsiness. He's spent so many nights with his mind racing, thoughts of work and complicated personal dynamics keeping him alert, that the peacefulness of this simple shared activity feels almost novel.

Gradually, as the movie unfolds its colorful scenes, Alhaitham’s eyelids grow heavy. The ambient light from the screen, the quiet sounds of the film, and the steady breathing beside him coalesce into a lulling rhythm. His head begins to tilt slightly, almost imperceptibly at first, as sleep beckons. Without realizing it, his body leans, seeking out a natural point of balance and warmth. As his head finds a soft landing against Kaveh’s shoulder, Alhaitham succumbs to sleep, the boundaries of their usual interactions blurring into the comforting simplicity of human contact.]

[ The movie is almost at its halfway point when Kaveh feels the additional lean of weight against his shoulder. It's with initial confusion that his head turns, a slight frown on his expression— although it quickly softens into a smile when he sees Alhaitham resting against his shoulder, eyes closed in the beginnings of sleep.

The other must have used a lot of energy helping him calm down earlier, he thinks, not even knowing what the other has gone through over the last few days and weeks since their meeting; and so, with that smile still gentle on his lips, he reaches to take the cup from the other's hands, placing it on the table in front of them with his own, and then settling back, tugging the blanket a little higher over the two of them. When the movie ends, he thinks, he'll extricate himself carefully from the other, lay him on the couch, and retire to his own room...

Of course, such a moment never comes. With the warmth of the other laid over him like a weighted blanket, the calming of the tea and the softness of the movie and its music, it's not long before he, too, starts to doze. He doesn't realize it, but little by little his head slips to rest on top of Alhaitham's, his eyes weighted and heavy as they sink shut against the stress and pain of the day.

The movie plays on unheeded, eventually landing back at its own menu screen and then lapsing onto suspend mode after extended inactivity. The night creeps on, and soon the colors of sunrise start to bleed in through the open window along with the sound of birds singing their morning songs. ]

[In the depths of sleep, Alhaitham drifts through a serene dreamscape, melting away into a warmth that envelops him completely. In his dream, he's aware of a comforting presence, a steady breathing that syncs with his own, lulling him deeper into tranquility. The sensations are vivid—soft fabric beneath him, a gentle weight against his side, and the reassuring rhythm of a heartbeat close to his own.

As the night progresses, their bodies naturally seek even closer contact in the shared space of the couch. Alhaitham's arm, initially resting awkwardly between them, finds a better position draped over Kaveh, pulling him closer. Subconsciously, they shift together until Alhaitham is half-draped over Kaveh, his head now comfortably tucked under the architect’s chin. The arrangement fits them perfectly as if they were meant to slot together just so.

The dream continues to weave its peaceful narrative, the background filled with soft hues much in the same way of the movie, plumes of smoke and odd stream layers, and the gentle murmur of an indistinct conversation, laughter, quiet chuckles—words not needed when the feeling of contentment speaks volumes. The dawn's early light begins to filter through the curtains, casting a soft glow that adds to the dreamlike quality of the moment.

Half-awake now, Alhaitham shifts slightly, his movements slow. As he looks up, his eyes meet Kaveh’s face, peaceful in sleep, so close that he can count the faint freckles dusting across his nose. For a moment, the line between sleep and wakefulness blurs, and he wonders if he’s still locked within his dream. The warmth, the comfort, the presence of Kaveh so close—it’s idyllic, surreal. It shouldn't happen.

A smile tugs at the corners of Alhaitham’s lips. He allows himself the luxury of this moment, the softness of it, the rightness. It feels like a reprieve from the complexities of their real lives, a simple, perfect interlude.]

[ For someone like Kaveh, who has always craved closeness, the shift in their sleeping selves is something more than welcomed, at least to his unconscious self. Alhaitham is not the only one of them who dreams; his own are laced with smiling voices, with the dark hair of a man for whom he's fallen and his coppered irises, mixed so smoothly in the dream with the emerald of his new roommate's eyes. Voices similar yet distinct whisper words of comfort and love in his ears, and Kaveh feels like he's come home.

Everything is perfect. He's not alone anymore— perhaps, truthfully, he never was.

His eyes open to the glimmering dawn, half-lidded and long lashes fluttering as he blinks slowly, peering at those eyes peering up at him, soft and smiling, and there's a strange moment where he understands that the two of them— Alhaitham and Euler— are the same, at least here in this world surely made up of his dreams, and Kaveh wonders how he could ever have questioned it.

When he wakes, he realizes, he'll have questions. In particular is the need to understand why his brain keeps linking Euler and Alhaitham like this. He knows his feelings for the former... is his heart really so attention starved that it will tie together the two men who have showed him the most kindness? Or is it something more complex than that? Those questions and more beg to be answered.

But for now, even though it is a dream, can't he just let himself bask in this a little while longer? ]

Hi. [ His voice is a soft, breathless whisper. ] Good morning.

[Gentle, his fingers trace the line of a jaw, to the corner of it underneath an ear. It feels real, to have him so close, that he can taste the acrid breath of a morning into his own mouth, coating his own tongue, and Alhaitham's lungs ache.

Somehow, everything got settled. Kaveh is seeing him for who he is, Alhaitham, Euler, himself. And he's telling him 'hi' with the softest of voices, is embracing him gently, looking at him like he's home.]

Good morning, [he whispers back, thumb stroking his cheek, before his mouth blooms against the architect's. Every other kiss they had shared had been needful, wanting, searching. This one is comfort, it's home. So slow and languid that makes Alhaitham himself sigh, tilting them so he can rest his head on the arm of the couch, and sink further into the dream.]

[ Kaveh's eyes flicker closed at the gentle touch of a hand over his jaw and ear; he meets the kiss with a soft mutter of surprise, yielding without a second thought. The bitter taste of morning in their mouths is barely noticeable to him, his attention focused instead on the sensation of the lips against his own, on the feeling of them being shifted so they're more comfortable against the couch.

His own fingers lift, carding into that silver hair, a sigh of content on his lips as he answers the kiss with one of his own, body canting and shifting closer. Like this, he feels loved, treasured... safe.

If his dreams want to be this pleasant, he thinks, let them go on forever. ]

[Wishing these dreams to go on, to keep going, to last until eternity, Alhaitham holds no illusions, no thoughts that it could be a good idea. Pragmatic as he is, that doesn't stop him from reveling on the softness of their embrace.

Tender, their lips brush, his hand slipping around Kaveh's back, his body melting at the feeling of fingers in his hair, softer than when he had it dyed, molding better into Kaveh's touch. And it's slow, the motion, and slower, and softer, lulling him into something golden and silent, until Alhaitham's mouth brushes on the corner of Kaveh's mouth, and rests still against his cheek.]

[ The pragmatist and the dreamer: one knowing that the fantasy cannot continue, one wishing it would, both allowing themselves to give in just for the moment. Kaveh's answer to Alhaitham's hand on his back is a soft sigh, a wordless whisper against his mouth, his hand coming to a rest against the other's cheek. And like Alhaitham, he lets the kiss lull him back into the softness of sleep, head tilting into that soft kiss at his cheek as he drifts back into full slumber.

It's a few hours more that pass before he starts to wake for real, stretching under Alhaitham's weight as he blinks into the sun-dappled light of the morning, the dream and his questions all but gone from his mind, leaving room for a confused fog as he blinks, a hand coming to the other's shoulder. ]

...Alhaitham? Ugh, we must've fallen asleep. What time is it..?

[ What day is it? He feels as if he hasn't slept so deeply in years. ]

[He's warm.

He is, in fact, too warm.

Comfortable but warm. Some parts of his skin are clammy.

And then he gets pushed, and the sand in his eyes budges.

He opens an eye.]

Hm? [Kaveh is laying next to him. Oh, right, the dream—

—what dream?

Ah, yes. They were watching a movie, and Alhaitham fell asleep. He was not expecting to have his legs tangled with Kaveh's, with Kaveh's voice so close he can almost feel his chest reverberating with it.

He stretches his arm, from behind Kaveh's back—oh, so that's, apparently, also a thing—takes a look at his watch.]

It's 9h30. [He stretches. Best to just untangle lazily without Kaveh realizing it and making a scene.] I need to get a cup of coffee.

[ Despite Alhaitham's best efforts, his response is met with immediate panic.

Not because of the way they're curled up together— somehow, Kaveh still hasn't noticed that— but because of the time. ]

Archons! Why didn't I set an alarm? I'm teaching a class at 10! I need to shower— no, I don't have time— oh gods— What time do you start? How can you be so calm?!

[ Kaveh practically tears himself off of the couch and into his room— and two seconds later bursts back into their shared space, a whirlwind of panic and confusion. ]

My clothes aren't unpacked—!

[Slowly, he maneuvers himself from the couch, and onto the kitchen.

Two espresso cups, two pods in. He pads over to Kaveh with a warm cup, slips it into his hands gently, places a hand on his shoulder.]

There's no class today. [A sip. He wishes he could still be in the warmth of his couch, tangled together with the architect. Never mind that he'd been internally complaining a while ago.] It's a holiday.

[ Kaveh pauses mid-rant, mid-panic, as a cup of espresso is pushed into his hands. He's about to explode at Alhaitham in his panic about how the other man doesn't get it— once again, how can he be so calm?!?!?!— but then he hears the words the other is actually saying, and he blinks.

And he stares. ]

I.

[ Of course. It's what made this weekend just past so great for moving. He's got plenty of time today to unpack more of his things before work starts up again tomorrow, and... ]

Oh.

[ He sinks onto the couch, a faint flush of embarrassment on his cheeks. ]

The coffee is good.

[He says, sitting down, sipping some more of it. Cute. Though nothing to be embarrassed about.] I bought a special edition brew this time. What do you think?

[ He takes a slight sip at Alhaitham's comment, not realizing the way that his leg seems to migrate to rest against the other's own, a natural— but unnecessary— connection. The taste is mild and rich on his tongue, not too bitter and with a gentle thickness from the crema.

He hums. ]

I admit I'm more of a wine connoisseur than I am coffee... I usually find espresso really bitter, and I only really drink it to help me stay awake when I'm running late on a deadline or something. But... this is really good.

[He doesn't move it. Not because he doesn't want to move it (not only because of that) but because Alhaitham knows that the moment he moves his leg away from Kaveh's touch, it'll make it more noticeable that he is removing it and that the touch has happened.]

There are ways we can make it less bitter. [More water, more sweetener, different blends.] If you're interested, I can make you some.

[ His head tilts in curiosity, his interest piqued despite having never really being curious about coffee before. It's certainly not a taste that he knows many actively enjoy, and yet Alhaitham seems to be one of those people. And... it's strange, but something about him trusts the other on it.

(Something about him right now feels like he'd trust Alhaitham on many things, but that's neither here nor there, nor something he really wants to dwell on in order to hunt for reasons.) ]

I'd be interested, yeah.

[ He leans back into the couch, taking another sip of the coffee. ]

Could I... ask you something? [ He'll wait for confirmation before continuing: ] Why do you wear headphones all the time at work?

Alright.

[So, maybe get some supplies. Some syrup, some sugar, maybe brown sugar. A new blend more driven to the aromatics than the strength of the roast. That's feasible.

The question has him tilt his head in return. He was not expecting it.]

I don't enjoy idle noise, it makes me space out. [And it makes people think he's not listening.] And I tend to use voice commands because I'm usually holding books or writing. Why do you ask?

[ Having asked the question, he listens for the answer, nodding slowly as Alhaitham explains. It makes sense; with his straightforward ways, he does give the impression of being someone who might struggle with things like that, and so Kaveh isn't really surprised.

He does, however, smile bashfully at the question, offering the other a slight shrug. ]

I guess I was just curious. I wondered if it might be something like that.. and, you know. If I'm living with you, that's important for me to know. I wanna be respectful of your space, that's all.

I can turn them on to be noise-cancelling. You don't have to worry about making too much noise.

[That's. considerate is one way of putting it. Alhaitham supposes he shouldn't be surprised. Did the conversation with Euler about himself help Kaveh see him differently? Did the conversation they had yesterday? Even in the little space of time, he's known him, Kaveh has always been someone who thinks about other people first.] I suppose you need to be aware of that, I may not hear you if I have them on. At least until you make it clear to me that you're talking.

[ Kaveh nods at that, and then his expression turns thoughtful when Alhaitham mentions that he might not hear him. He sips at his espresso, and by the time he turns back to the other again, there's a playful glint in his eyes. ]

Hmm... How should I make it clear that I'm talking to you? Do I wave? Poke my tongue out? Tweak your nose?

[ And with one hand, he does the last thing, a playful little pinch to the bridge.

Where this nicer, more conciliatory attitude toward the other has come from, Kaveh doesn't know. Something has changed in the way he sees Alhaitham, but he doesn't really understand what or why. ]

Well—

[He's about to just say that a wave and standing in his line of sight to catch his attention would be enough. But then those fingers are in his nose and he blinks.

Once, twice. He looks at Kaveh sitting beside him.

And pokes his side.] Sure, if you allow me to do this back.

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