sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

I do, yes.

[He's about to say he also needs to read for work, but stops himself. That's too close. Too soon. It's best if he just doesn't say anything and Kaveh thinks it's a hobby, which isn't a lie.

He smiles, though.] Oh? I'm curious now. But I want to see what other artistic things you have first. Tell me more. I want to hear all about it.

[ It's been a while since a date showed an active interest in the things Kaveh likes. Perhaps that's why it becomes so easy for him to start talking about the things he pulls one after the other out of the box. Posters of movies— animated and live action— that have struck a chord with him. More statues and figures. Photos. Photobooks and artbooks both. Each is taken from the box in turn and talked about, shown off to the camera as Kaveh smiles, relaxing more and more until his anxieties are all but forgotten.

It's not until that box is empty that he makes a face, a little embarrassed at how readily he was able to talk Euler's ears off. ]

Did I put you to sleep yet?

Not at all.

[He smiles, even if he has taken his laptop to his bed, and has laid down with it on his lap, his headphones plugged in. As much as he appreciates silence, watching Kaveh excitedly talk about the things he enjoys is something he's finding to be entirely relaxing. He has an interesting eye for things, little things that catch his eye and his heart, and that resonates with Alhaitham, a little bit.

It's interesting, and he feels grateful that he could share this moment with him, even if via a pseudonym and an anonymous identity.

But his headphones do sign that they're running out of battery.]

It's getting late, though. I'm glad we made some progress on your unpacking. [A pause, and he says this earnestly.] Thank you for showing me all of this.

[ He can hear the smile in Euler's voice when he talks, and that's enough for him to know that the other is being truthful in what he says. It brings a smile to Kaveh's own lips, even if he is disappointed that their call has to end after what feels like such a short time. With how little they've been able to talk lately, he's missed him a lot—

He doesn't complain, though. He wants the other to see him smiling, so he knows he's helped even after the day Kaveh has had. So he blows a kiss, leans his head on his hand as he peers into the camera. ]

It's my pleasure. I'll try to make sure I'm done before we chat next time. Then I can give you a tour.

[ A few more comments, a promise to talk soon, another blown kiss, and Kaveh ends the call, continuing his unpacking by placing some of the objects on his shelves, and laying out the posters and photos so he can decide where to display them once everything else is in its place.

The feeling of loneliness is quick to creep back, cold and discomforting, and even as he changes into his sleep pants and shirt and scrapes his hair back into a loose bun, Kaveh's not sure he'll be able to sleep just yet.

Maybe...

A few minutes later, with a Blu-Ray in hand, he pads across to Alhaitham's bedroom and, seeing the strip of light still glowing from underneath, knocks quietly on the door. ]

Hey.. [ He offers a small smile when the door opens. ] Um, I know this is kind of a weird favor to ask. But I was wondering if I could bum a cigarette?

[ It's not that he wants to smoke it. There's a part of him craving the taste of it, a hint of an alternate reality where Euler can kiss him goodnight and hold him as he sleeps. That's all. ]

[He's not expecting a knock.

But when he hears it, he's expecting everything.

Maybe a good night, maybe a thanks once again for allowing him to move in. Maybe a warning, say to be quiet in the morning, or some sort of idiosyncrasy that Kaveh hadn't revealed yet.

That he figured everything out. That the gig is up.

He's not expecting Kaveh to ask him for a cigarette, of all things.

So he blinks at him for a moment; two moments.

Alhaitham goes:] ... Sure. One minute.

[And steps out of the door, still a bit reeling from the request.]

Just the one? Here. [He stretches his hand out with the pack so Kaveh can pluck the cigarette from it.] Take the lighter that's inside.

...Yeah. Just the one.

[ He takes it as offered, takes the lighter along with it. ]

Do you prefer it only used outside, or is inside okay?

[ After all, the last thing he wants is to break Alhaitham's rules on day one, of all things. This isn't something they've talked about for obvious reasons— Kaveh isn't a smoker.

...Which explains the look Alhaitham is giving him. ]

It's. I'm not gonna smoke it, really. I know that's kind of a waste. I just.. the taste is.. it's kind of comforting. I know that's a really weird thing to say about cigarettes but.. yeah.

Inside is fine, but I do open the windows and smoke near them. [He starts to explain.

But then Kaveh goes and justifies his request and—

The taste.

The taste is comforting.

What tastes— Ah.

Kaveh is going to kill him.]

Anyway. Those things will kill you. [He says, because he's a little petty.]

Okay. I'll open the window and sit near it.

[ And then Alhaitham makes a comment that, for a moment, Kaveh finds completely confusing. Yes, these things will kill him. But why would Alhaitham say that? The one between the two of them who actually smokes—

The memory hits him halfway into opening his mouth, and with a roll of his eyes, he reaches out, shoves lightly at Alhaitham's shoulder. ]

Shut up.

[Oh, there's a reaction he didn't expect.

But it's beautiful to watch unfold, anyway. The moment where the idea clicks, and Kaveh rolls his eyes upon the realization, and Alhaitham is shoved but can't help chuckle.]

Have a good night, Kaveh.

Have a good night, Alhaitham. I'll return the lighter to you in the morning.

[ He starts to turn, and then pauses, biting his lip. ]

Actually...

[ And he turns back around, holding out the Blu-Ray in his hand. ]

If you're not planning on sleeping anytime soon, did you wanna watch a movie with me? It's a Studio Scirocco film; they're known for their beautiful animation styles and watercolor backgrounds. You can bring a book out if you want.. I was just thinking the company might be nice.

[Kaveh could tell him that it's the most hideous of B Movies to ever exist.]

Sure.

[He steps out of his room, putting on his slippers.]

If we're watching this, do you want anything to drink? Some tea?

Tea sounds nice. And...

[ He chews on his lip for a moment. ]

I have some snacks in my room. Terribly horribly unhealthy, but they'll be good to nibble on while we watch.

[ And so, while he waits for Alhaitham to ready the tea, Kaveh goes to get the snacks, setting them on the coffee table while he gets the movie set up. He opens the window a little to vent the scent of cigarettes out of the room; because the sofa is a little further away from it than he would like, he puts a desk fan on the edge of the table to help waft it out. He even goes to the effort to get a blanket for them, getting himself cozy underneath it when he's done. ]

Edited 2024-07-01 14:22 (UTC)

[Alhaitham enters the living area, balancing a tray with two steaming cups of herbal tea, a soothing blend of chamomile and mint that he selected to help calm their nerves after the emotionally charged day. As he sets the tray down on the coffee table, his gaze sweeps over the thoughtful setup Kaveh has prepared for their movie night. Various snacks are neatly arranged next to a cozy, plush blanket that's draped over the back of the sofa.]

You went all in. I'm impressed.

[His voice carries a note of genuine appreciation as he lowers himself onto the sofa, the cushions yielding softly under his weight. Carefully, he adjusts the blanket, spreading it over their laps to share. His movements are cautious and purposefully slow to ensure he respects Kaveh’s personal space, yet the gesture of pulling the blanket over both their legs bridges a subtle gap between them.

As he settles in, Alhaitham takes one of the cups and offers the other to Kaveh. The warm glow of the room, softened by the dimmed lights and the flicker of the television screen waiting on the movie's start menu, casts a relaxing ambiance.

All's well when it ends well? He's half waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He sips his tea, savoring the gentle heat and the herbal aroma that blends seamlessly with the quieter, more contemplative atmosphere they’ve cocooned themselves in for the evening. As the opening credits of the movie begin to roll, Alhaitham allows himself a moment to fully relax into the cushions, the shared blanket, and the company of someone who is slowly but surely painting his evenings with broader strokes of color and emotion.]

[ Kaveh laughs softly at that. ]

Of course I did. If you're gonna watch a movie with me, you have to do it properly.

[ "Properly" meaning with drinks and snacks and dimmed lights and blankets— and, apparently, cigarettes. He smiles when Alhaitham spreads the blanket over the two of them, and he doesn't move in close the way he would if they were on a date or something similar, but he doesn't move away either, the small space between them comfortable enough for him. ]

Ready?

[ He starts the movie, sips his tea with an appreciative hum. The mint gives a refreshing life to the chamomile, which in turn helps to further dull the sharpened edges of his nerves. And it's about 10 minutes in that he lights the cigarette, allowing himself just enough of a breath to feel and taste it, a soft cloud in the air when he breathes it out.

And, feeling bad about stubbing it out already when the man who let him take it is right next to him, he turns slightly, nudges his knee against the other man's thigh. ]

Not to encourage you in your habits any further, but... Did you want it?

[The whimsical and harmonious strains of the movie's soundtrack fill the room and Alhaitham finds the gentle sway of the narrative and the soothing blend of chamomile and mint in his tea coaxing his senses into a state of relaxed alertness.

He watches Kaveh out of the corner of his eye as he lights the cigarette, taking only a brief draw before exhaling a thin wisp of smoke. The action seems to satisfy some deep-seated craving, and Alhaitham wonders if the taste of nicotine is what Kaveh was truly after—a lingering remnant of the night they shared at the club, perhaps, where amidst the noise and chaos, their kisses were marked by the sharp, underlying bite of smoke. A bit of Euler in the room, while Euler himself watches.]

I don't smoke, [Alhaitham jokes softly, a snort escaping him as he smiles and adds,] I’m good, really. I'll refrain before bed.

[Leaning forward, he reaches for a small, unassuming circular trinket box on the coffee table, opening it to reveal it’s an ashtray. He places it between them, a silent offer of convenience.]

It’s okay if you don’t want more of it. You can stub it out here.

[ He starts a little at the statement that Alhaitham makes, his attention drawn momentarily from the movie. Then, he laughs, a gentle and yet robust sound, another nudge against the other's side as he makes a show of rolling his eyes in the other's direction. ]

You are such an idiot..

[ There's a fondness to his tone that surprises even Kaveh, a warmth in his smile that is completely genuine as his attention follows Alhaitham's hands, watches him open a delicate and beautiful little ornament to reveal it as an ashtray.

Huh. Apparently the man has some aesthetic sense after all. Pleased with the revelation, Kaveh allows himself one more not-quite puff from the cigarette, eyes closing at the way the acrid taste rolls onto his tongue. It's not good, but it's somehow nice, and only as he breathes out once more does he reach to stub it, leaning back into the couch again. ]

Thanks for that. I know it was a weird request.

[The playful rebuke from Kaveh draws a genuine chuckle from Alhaitham, the moment feeling lighter and more personal than many of their previous interactions. The fondness in Kaveh’s voice doesn’t go unnoticed, and it adds a layer of comfort, softening the edges of his usual reserved demeanor.]

Not a problem at all. [Alhaitham’s response is gentle, acknowledging the peculiar request with an understanding nod. He watches Kaveh extinguish the cigarette, glad to have provided even a small comfort.

As the movie continues, the intricate animation and soothing soundtrack work their magic. Alhaitham's body gradually relaxes further into the soft cushions of the sofa, the shared warmth beneath the blanket and the calming herbal tea combining to lull him towards a state of drowsiness. He's spent so many nights with his mind racing, thoughts of work and complicated personal dynamics keeping him alert, that the peacefulness of this simple shared activity feels almost novel.

Gradually, as the movie unfolds its colorful scenes, Alhaitham’s eyelids grow heavy. The ambient light from the screen, the quiet sounds of the film, and the steady breathing beside him coalesce into a lulling rhythm. His head begins to tilt slightly, almost imperceptibly at first, as sleep beckons. Without realizing it, his body leans, seeking out a natural point of balance and warmth. As his head finds a soft landing against Kaveh’s shoulder, Alhaitham succumbs to sleep, the boundaries of their usual interactions blurring into the comforting simplicity of human contact.]

[ The movie is almost at its halfway point when Kaveh feels the additional lean of weight against his shoulder. It's with initial confusion that his head turns, a slight frown on his expression— although it quickly softens into a smile when he sees Alhaitham resting against his shoulder, eyes closed in the beginnings of sleep.

The other must have used a lot of energy helping him calm down earlier, he thinks, not even knowing what the other has gone through over the last few days and weeks since their meeting; and so, with that smile still gentle on his lips, he reaches to take the cup from the other's hands, placing it on the table in front of them with his own, and then settling back, tugging the blanket a little higher over the two of them. When the movie ends, he thinks, he'll extricate himself carefully from the other, lay him on the couch, and retire to his own room...

Of course, such a moment never comes. With the warmth of the other laid over him like a weighted blanket, the calming of the tea and the softness of the movie and its music, it's not long before he, too, starts to doze. He doesn't realize it, but little by little his head slips to rest on top of Alhaitham's, his eyes weighted and heavy as they sink shut against the stress and pain of the day.

The movie plays on unheeded, eventually landing back at its own menu screen and then lapsing onto suspend mode after extended inactivity. The night creeps on, and soon the colors of sunrise start to bleed in through the open window along with the sound of birds singing their morning songs. ]

[In the depths of sleep, Alhaitham drifts through a serene dreamscape, melting away into a warmth that envelops him completely. In his dream, he's aware of a comforting presence, a steady breathing that syncs with his own, lulling him deeper into tranquility. The sensations are vivid—soft fabric beneath him, a gentle weight against his side, and the reassuring rhythm of a heartbeat close to his own.

As the night progresses, their bodies naturally seek even closer contact in the shared space of the couch. Alhaitham's arm, initially resting awkwardly between them, finds a better position draped over Kaveh, pulling him closer. Subconsciously, they shift together until Alhaitham is half-draped over Kaveh, his head now comfortably tucked under the architect’s chin. The arrangement fits them perfectly as if they were meant to slot together just so.

The dream continues to weave its peaceful narrative, the background filled with soft hues much in the same way of the movie, plumes of smoke and odd stream layers, and the gentle murmur of an indistinct conversation, laughter, quiet chuckles—words not needed when the feeling of contentment speaks volumes. The dawn's early light begins to filter through the curtains, casting a soft glow that adds to the dreamlike quality of the moment.

Half-awake now, Alhaitham shifts slightly, his movements slow. As he looks up, his eyes meet Kaveh’s face, peaceful in sleep, so close that he can count the faint freckles dusting across his nose. For a moment, the line between sleep and wakefulness blurs, and he wonders if he’s still locked within his dream. The warmth, the comfort, the presence of Kaveh so close—it’s idyllic, surreal. It shouldn't happen.

A smile tugs at the corners of Alhaitham’s lips. He allows himself the luxury of this moment, the softness of it, the rightness. It feels like a reprieve from the complexities of their real lives, a simple, perfect interlude.]

[ For someone like Kaveh, who has always craved closeness, the shift in their sleeping selves is something more than welcomed, at least to his unconscious self. Alhaitham is not the only one of them who dreams; his own are laced with smiling voices, with the dark hair of a man for whom he's fallen and his coppered irises, mixed so smoothly in the dream with the emerald of his new roommate's eyes. Voices similar yet distinct whisper words of comfort and love in his ears, and Kaveh feels like he's come home.

Everything is perfect. He's not alone anymore— perhaps, truthfully, he never was.

His eyes open to the glimmering dawn, half-lidded and long lashes fluttering as he blinks slowly, peering at those eyes peering up at him, soft and smiling, and there's a strange moment where he understands that the two of them— Alhaitham and Euler— are the same, at least here in this world surely made up of his dreams, and Kaveh wonders how he could ever have questioned it.

When he wakes, he realizes, he'll have questions. In particular is the need to understand why his brain keeps linking Euler and Alhaitham like this. He knows his feelings for the former... is his heart really so attention starved that it will tie together the two men who have showed him the most kindness? Or is it something more complex than that? Those questions and more beg to be answered.

But for now, even though it is a dream, can't he just let himself bask in this a little while longer? ]

Hi. [ His voice is a soft, breathless whisper. ] Good morning.

[Gentle, his fingers trace the line of a jaw, to the corner of it underneath an ear. It feels real, to have him so close, that he can taste the acrid breath of a morning into his own mouth, coating his own tongue, and Alhaitham's lungs ache.

Somehow, everything got settled. Kaveh is seeing him for who he is, Alhaitham, Euler, himself. And he's telling him 'hi' with the softest of voices, is embracing him gently, looking at him like he's home.]

Good morning, [he whispers back, thumb stroking his cheek, before his mouth blooms against the architect's. Every other kiss they had shared had been needful, wanting, searching. This one is comfort, it's home. So slow and languid that makes Alhaitham himself sigh, tilting them so he can rest his head on the arm of the couch, and sink further into the dream.]

[ Kaveh's eyes flicker closed at the gentle touch of a hand over his jaw and ear; he meets the kiss with a soft mutter of surprise, yielding without a second thought. The bitter taste of morning in their mouths is barely noticeable to him, his attention focused instead on the sensation of the lips against his own, on the feeling of them being shifted so they're more comfortable against the couch.

His own fingers lift, carding into that silver hair, a sigh of content on his lips as he answers the kiss with one of his own, body canting and shifting closer. Like this, he feels loved, treasured... safe.

If his dreams want to be this pleasant, he thinks, let them go on forever. ]

[Wishing these dreams to go on, to keep going, to last until eternity, Alhaitham holds no illusions, no thoughts that it could be a good idea. Pragmatic as he is, that doesn't stop him from reveling on the softness of their embrace.

Tender, their lips brush, his hand slipping around Kaveh's back, his body melting at the feeling of fingers in his hair, softer than when he had it dyed, molding better into Kaveh's touch. And it's slow, the motion, and slower, and softer, lulling him into something golden and silent, until Alhaitham's mouth brushes on the corner of Kaveh's mouth, and rests still against his cheek.]

[ The pragmatist and the dreamer: one knowing that the fantasy cannot continue, one wishing it would, both allowing themselves to give in just for the moment. Kaveh's answer to Alhaitham's hand on his back is a soft sigh, a wordless whisper against his mouth, his hand coming to a rest against the other's cheek. And like Alhaitham, he lets the kiss lull him back into the softness of sleep, head tilting into that soft kiss at his cheek as he drifts back into full slumber.

It's a few hours more that pass before he starts to wake for real, stretching under Alhaitham's weight as he blinks into the sun-dappled light of the morning, the dream and his questions all but gone from his mind, leaving room for a confused fog as he blinks, a hand coming to the other's shoulder. ]

...Alhaitham? Ugh, we must've fallen asleep. What time is it..?

[ What day is it? He feels as if he hasn't slept so deeply in years. ]

[He's warm.

He is, in fact, too warm.

Comfortable but warm. Some parts of his skin are clammy.

And then he gets pushed, and the sand in his eyes budges.

He opens an eye.]

Hm? [Kaveh is laying next to him. Oh, right, the dream—

—what dream?

Ah, yes. They were watching a movie, and Alhaitham fell asleep. He was not expecting to have his legs tangled with Kaveh's, with Kaveh's voice so close he can almost feel his chest reverberating with it.

He stretches his arm, from behind Kaveh's back—oh, so that's, apparently, also a thing—takes a look at his watch.]

It's 9h30. [He stretches. Best to just untangle lazily without Kaveh realizing it and making a scene.] I need to get a cup of coffee.

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