sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[Slowly, he lavishes the pierced nipple with attention, but he looks up to meet his eyes as he moves and pays the unpierced nipple with the same love and care. Euler doesn't mind anything as long as it's Pharos' he's doing it to, showing his affection and want through actions that make him react like this, clutch to him like this, call out to him like this.

Euler pulls back, finally, to kiss Pharos full on the lips, and it ravenously feels like an ending and a beginning all at once, something he's been craving for so long and holding himself back from. It feels like a benediction, and his whole body melts into the man sitting astride and in his arms, cradling him close like he doesn't want to let go any time soon.]

[ Each moment of pleasure offered to him has Kaveh's eyes fluttering. He whimpers, hips still moving— but stopping abruptly at the press of the other's mouth to his. A soft, shaky moan finds the space between their mouths, and Kaveh's arms wrap tight around Euler's shoulders, holding him close as he sinks into him, caving to him with every second.

He doesn't dare move his hips any more; like this, close and pressed together, he feels as if he could fall apart at any moment, and he doesn't want to disappoint the other man.

Instead, he kisses back with all the need and desire he's been feeling, gasping and whimpering into the other's mouth as he slips his tongue out to taste. ]

[There's something to their kisses. As Euler, as Alhaitham, there's something that untethers from them both the moment their mouths latch together. As though their own notions and preconceptions are released for the sake of their own want, of their own need, whatever gravity that draws them together, through attrition or flow.

Petting heavily through Kaveh's hair, Alhaitham whispers a finally like he's not the one setting the pace, like he's the one who's been released from a cage of his own making. Holding Kaveh so close like the proximity would feed him, he groans as he gets them both up and sets Pharos on the table, on top of their own contracts, and makes quick work of his tight trousers to remove them, only to take his hard and rudy cock into his mouth the moment he sees it.]

[ That single word breathed out on Euler's lips makes Kaveh shudder viscerally, a whimper on his lips begging to answer the other's spoken word; he fails though, the verbiage he needs unable to surface on his mouth before he's suddenly pulled up and pushed onto the table, Euler's fingers working fast at his trousers. ]

Eu— Mister E, the contracts—

[ He barely gets the words out before the other's mouth closes around his cock, making Kaveh gasp, fingers curling into fists (one catching a contract page in it by accident and crumpling it, something he doesn't notice despite his protest a moment before) and body sharpening under the other's touch.

Oh, this is such a bad idea, he— ]

E-Euler, I.. I'm already too close, you shouldn't, I can't hold it—

[ It's about as much as he's got in him. Unless the other does something to stop him, he'll tip over the edge, and soon. ]

[And that's exactly what Alhaitham wants.

They've been teasing each other for so long already, Pharos has been so good for him, always aiming to please to his detriment. And Euler had promised a reward, after all. Green eyes looking up to meet Pharos' violet, he has the gall to narrow them warmly before he takes his full length into his mouth and hums, pulling at his hips to go as deep as he can, until he can feel the tip of him at the back of his throat, humming all the way.

It constricts, but Alhaitham remains there, eyes finally closing so Kaveh doesn't seem them watering.]

[ What Alhaitham wants, Euler gets— barely moments after Kaveh is settled deep in his throat does the blonde lose himself, head tipping back on a trembling moan as he tips over the peak and spills into Euler's mouth without any way of stopping himself. He fills his mouth, doing everything he can not to move his hips too much as his cock pulses once, twice, the blonde gasping out as his eyes squeeze momentarily shut.

He's left shaking in its wake, the fingers of his free hand loosely curling into Euler's dark strands as he pants for air. ]

S-sorry..

[It's only after a while that Euler draws back, lapping at his own mouth for the remnants of Pharos' spend and lapping his cock clean. Slowly, he presses soft kisses up his stomach, the center of his chest, and then his neck.]

Don't apologize. That was very good. [He clears his throat, reaching to stroke down Pharos' hair, his cheeks.] Did you like your reward?

[ The blonde's eyes watch, soft whimpers on his lips as Euler draws back, licking around his own mouth and Kaveh's cock besides, and then fall shut again as kisses are painted up his stomach and chest, all the way to his neck. He sighs, and his head tilts into Euler's touches, a faint smile finding his lips. ]

Mmm... I did. A lot. You always make me feel so important, Euler...

[ Does he make the other feel the same way...? He bites his lip. ]

I.. what can I— I wanna do something for you too—

[You're important to me. He says very matter-of-factly, but no less earnest. Gentle, he smiles and presses more kisses on his cheek, on his temple, under his ear. And Euler presses himself close, bracing his weight on the desk, nestled between Pharos' legs.]

Kiss me. [He doesn't mean to beg. But the ache in his voice leads him to it.] Kiss me and use your hands.

[ The way Euler sounds— almost begging, he thinks— sends a shudder of delight down Kaveh's spine, and there's no hesitation in the way he nods, leans forward into the other immediately to press their mouths together, and both of Kaveh's hands move between them to undo Euler's pants. When he cups the other's arousal, that's in both hands too, long and smooth strokes over his length even as their tongues tangle.

And he wishes, wants for them to be able to have more, wonders how it would feel to slide off the table and onto that waiting cock, give Euler all the pleasure he deserves—

But instead of saying that, he just deepens the kiss, losing himself in the other's mouth so he won't beg in answer. ]

[Spilling a moan into Kaveh's tongue as he tangles his own, Euler's head tips just slightly so they fit perfectly together. Pharos' hands had always entranced him and he's no different from Kaveh when Alhaitham kisses and touches him.]

Pha— [he pants, in between kisses, as he cradles the streamer's head for another one and rolls his hips into the touch.] I'm— I—

[It's all the warning he gives him before he spills onto Kaveh's fingers, his teeth still latching sweetly on his lower lip, inhaling his breath sharply as though it was the ultimate high.]

[ With everything they've just been through, perhaps he should have predicted that Euler would fall apart as quickly as him. And yet it's still the most pleasant of surprises, a tender smile finding Kaveh's lips when the other spills over his fingers. He breathes into Euler's mouth, kissing him softly and sweetly and letting the other come down, stroking him slowly a few more times before letting go, withdrawing his hands.

Fingers lift to his own mouth before he pauses, breaking their kiss to offer the other a soft, questioning look. ]

May I?

[ he whispers, touching one stained finger to his lips to show exactly what he wants to do. ]

[Maybe he should consider that he had, in fact, come too soon for someone who's supposed to have been in control of the situation. As someone who offered himself to dominate through the dynamic they fell into. Alhaitham will later consider that there's a lot more to be studied, surely there are other ways to stave off his own hunger.

But that's not then, when Kaveh asks if he can lick his fingers clean. And the breath he releases is shuddering.] Well done for asking me. [He presses his lips to his cheek.] Go ahead.

[ He all but beams at the praise, nodding before drawing his fingers into his mouth and licking them clean. He's not deliberately trying to put on any sort of show, but there's no doubt that his mouth drags wet and noisy along his own fingers, that his tongue trails to catch the last traces of saltiness from his skin, that when they pull free it's with a soft pop and a sigh from his tongue.

His eyes open again, and he smiles at Euler, expression fond and sweet. ]

You taste good. Thank you.

[The sound, the sight, the scent of him. All is enough to make Alhaitham shake to his core, and he drops his head to steal a kiss from Kaveh’s lips, filled with his own taste as they are, over and over again, mingling the taste of all of them together.

He adjusts himself before picking Kaveh up again; taking them both to the bed this time; a sheet of the contract sticking to Kaveh’s thigh and then slipping out onto the floor as he walks them over. As Euler, he perhaps shouldn’t be as affectionate, but it made no sense to him to keep him apart.

Once they’ve settled, he presses another soft, small kiss to his lips. ] Are you feeling better?

[ Honestly, Kaveh was feeling better. Getting lost in Euler like this and spending this time with just the two of them, it's easy to put all those other thoughts and worries aside. But then, after the sweet stolen kisses, he finds himself pulled into Euler's arms, carried to the bed with such affection and tenderness that it awakens the negativity all over again.

(It reminds him of Alhaitham.)

And so when the other settles them in place, presses a soft kiss to his mouth, asks if he's okay, Kaveh finds himself ducking his head. Hiding it, perhaps, against Euler's shoulder. ]

As long as you're okay, I'm okay.

[ It's not a great answer, and nor is it entirely honest. But it's the best he's got for now, when he doesn't want to spoil a good night with his anxieties. ]

Oh no. [He pretends to be distraught, though he's trying to keep things light, while nuzzling the streamer's temple and hair. The flimsy reply doesn't surprise him, even if Alhaitham didn't expect it to show up so soon.] Then we find ourselves in a conundrum. I happen to only be okay if you're okay, so one of us needs to be okay.

[He cradles Kaveh's jaw and tips him upwards, presses a nip to his nose, still playful.] If we're really pursuing this type of relationship, Pharos, then it's best if you're transparent with me. I promise you we can work things out.

[ Despite himself, Kaveh finds a soft chuckle on his lips. When his nose is nipped, he pulls a face, and then his eyes close and he rests quietly against the other for a moment, forehead to forehead. ]

Sorry. I'm not trying to hide anything. I just... we're having a nice night and I don't wanna ruin anything. Besides, I'm not even sure how to put it.

[ A breath, and he sighs. ]

I'll be okay. I guess I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I have feelings for two people and that at least one of them is remarkably okay with it.

Do you think he's not alright with it? [Curious.

Humming what he hopes is a comforting sound, he nods slowly, foreheads rubbing against each other, while he reaches for some of the covers to at least drape over Kaveh's naked legs.] I can assume it is the first time you find yourself interested in more than one person, then?

[ His smile is a little wry. ]

He is... we've only talked about it once. I haven't told him that I have feelings for him, though. I wanted to talk to you about it first. But... based on the conversation we had, it seemed like he was okay with it only because it was what I wanted.

[ He chews on his lip. Doesn't that make him so horribly selfish..? ]

But... Yeah. Yeah, it is. [ A breath, and then quietly: ] Honestly, it's the first time I've felt this strongly about anyone in a long time. And suddenly there's two of you, and I just. I feel so frustrated.

[Now that he does think of it, Kaveh hadn't really told him that he does have feelings, only that he shouldn't have done it in respect to Euler.]

Then I guess another conversation is in order… [he tilts his head, tugging playfully at his earlobe with his thumb and the crook of his finger.] Are they improving, at least?

[He finds himself once again feeling a bit guilty. On the one hand, there's Kaveh, concerned about the way he likes two people. Meanwhile, Alhaitham holds the key to the fact that it's not for nothing or coincidence that he does: they're just the same person.

Still, this is something that neither of them is ready to deal with.] Take it one step at a time. I'd say you've done all the right things so far. Thank you for reaching out to me so fast.

[ And there it is again: that weirdness. How strange it is to be told by the man for whom you hold feelings that you need to have a discussion with the other man for whom you hold feelings. While in bed. After being sexually intimate. Kaveh sighs, but he leans into Euler's touch all the same, tipping his head into the touch of that hand. ]

They are, yeah. Sometimes he still says irritating things, but I think it's like you said. Part of how he communicates. I'm learning to not let myself get offended and to look for what he's actually saying.

Anyway... of course. I.. You're really important to me. And when there's so much of myself that I want to give you, then.. then I think it's even more important to be honest. Right? It would be weird to keep all that from you. And.. and unfair.

[ His nose wrinkles. ]

I'm sorry. I'm still trying to get used to it all. I'm not used to having people pay attention to me in a serious way. And suddenly there are two of you, and. I guess I feel a little overwhelmed. And a lot guilty. I want to be fair to both of you.

[The urge to harrumph at the idea that he's "irritating" is easily squashed down, though he knows that frequently, the things that do get Kaveh mostly irritated he already knows will annoy him. He sometimes does it on purpose. It injects life into him, passion. He likes seeing it, that critical thinking, even if it's aimed at himself.

He wraps a finger around a lock of gold, tugs.] Hm, do we also get to decide what's fair and unfair?

[ Kaveh blinks.

It's not the tug on his hair that does it, as sweet and affectionate as it is, as much as it makes him want to lean forward and kiss Euler.

No, it's the question the other asks, challenging as much as it is thoughtful.

(And Kaveh thinks Alhaitham could learn some lessons from the way Euler talks.)

His lips part, and he smiles, embarrassment on his features. ]

I.. Well, in the end, I suppose what the two of you think is the most important, huh.

[ Which raises a question of its own. His hand comes up, covers that currently tugging at his hair. ]

...We talked about ground rules for the way we interact. [ His head moves a little to indicate the scattered contract. ] What about.. do you have any ground rules for this?

I wouldn't say it's the most important, either.

[He tugs it again, then weaves his fingers with Kaveh's.] I think we should all aim to be equal in this relationship. Whatever we think is the fairest compromise, what we feel comfortable with, is what we should aim at.

[He bumps their foreheads together, gentle.] And that involves what you think, too.

[At the question of rules, Alhaitham spends some time cradling Kaveh close while he hums in thought. Here's something he hadn't really considered even as he had stepped into this room. He hadn't ever thought that he'd have to think about rules and boundaries regarding a… polyamorous relationship.

Which isn't necessarily true, but. Well.]

Hm. We should establish how and when feelings, especially difficult ones, should be communicated, and especially what kind of emotional support you expect from each partner. [He nuzzles him.] That involves wanting us to act a certain way so our feelings can be processed.

[Even if it involves a controlled scenario of punishment and reward.] That reminds me…

[He pats Kaveh so he can extricate himself from the bed, only to walk to his jacket again and withdraw a flat box from it, sitting on its side and stretching it for the streamer to grab it.] Your reward.

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