[ kaveh's mouth is so warm, his lips so incredibly soft, pillowy and yielding wonderfully to tighnari's aggressive kiss. he licks into kaveh's mouth, tasting him, groaning against his open mouth as his fingers work, deft and quick and expert, the pads of his fingertips rubbing deep into him, against his sweet spot, relentless and surgically precise.
but gods, he wants more. needs more. he's so fucking hard in his shorts that it's painful, and feeling kaveh's cunt around his fingers is driving him out of his mind, imagining just how it would feel around his cock, so warm and welcoming, hugging so tightly..
and that godsdamned smell, the scent of that man clinging to kaveh sparks rage in tighnari's blood. he wants to wash it all away, to replace it with himself, his own scent and spend, his own marks. breaking the kiss with a wet smack, tighnari drags his mouth down kaveh's throat, fangs raking his pulse before he bites down on the dip where his shoulder and neck meet. ]
I need you..
[ he whispers, and with surprising strength he hauls kaveh closer with an arm around his waist, tugging him toward the edge of the table. his fingers slip against the blood on kaveh's back. ]
I'll destroy him, for hurting you -
[ nevermind that tighnari is the one hurting him now, as he withdraws his wet fingers and flicks away the residual cum of the interloper, before yanking down the front of his shorts to free his painful erection. ]
[ Kaveh isn't sure if it's from Tighnari's kisses stealing his breath, or from the way he's being manhandled and touched in all the right ways even as both of them know they wouldn't have chosen this—
(that's not true; Kaveh would have chosen this, just not like this, with Tighnari out of his mind with lust and need alike)
—but he's dizzy, oversensitive and somehow wanting all at once, a strange hunger in the pit of his stomach that it seems to his mind can only be fixed by Tighnari. It doesn't make any sense, and his logical mind will go over it later, question it, and— ]
A-ah—
[ His eyes squeeze shut as he's bitten, a sharp pain in the skin that seems reminiscent of a claim, and Tighnari is growling more, threatening violence on the man who caused the spill of blood in which his fingers now spill even as he drags Kaveh closer and yanks down his sleep shorts
(and the blonde whines petulantly as those fingers slip out of his cunt, stealing away the pleasure he'd started to chase with little rocks of his hips)
and Kaveh's eyes drop to the hardness between his friend's legs and his cunt clenches reflexively, less in pleasure and more in anxiety. ]
Is— is that gonna fit—
[ It's never a question he's had to ask before. He's taken plenty of cocks, some of them quite large, but nothing like this, a size surprising for Tighnari's diminutive form. Not to mention the burgeoning knot at the base, the sight of which makes crimson eyes widen. ]
[ admittedly, tighnari would have chosen this, also, under very different circumstances. he's so fond of kaveh, they're incredibly close, and in the back of his mind tighnari is screaming and shouting to stop, stop, stop -
he's ruining everything. he's breaking them apart. he can't control himself. ]
It will. You were made for me.
[ he rumbles softly, taking his cock in wet fingers, dragging the flushed tip through kaveh's puffy pink folds, rubbing it against the swell of his clit. he's so damned ready and feral that it's a wonder he hasn't shoved his way inside immediately, the last shreds of his control are clinging fast, but being torn away by his need, one by one. now that he's felt that perfect heat against his tip, he knows he can't resist.
tighnari's free hand slides down kaveh's thigh, grasping tightly and hiking it high onto his hip as he cants his hips forward, and begins to push inside. ]
[ You were made for me, Tighnari says, and Kaveh just stares at him wordlessly for a moment; he's sure there's an answer to the statement that would make sense, but he certainly doesn't have one, especially not with the head of that thick cock rubbing and dragging against his clit and his folds, leaving the blonde to huff out a whimper, a cry, even a whine. ]
Made— for you—
[ He repeats the words as Tighnari's hand grabs at his thigh, lifts it high so he can fuck into him, and Kaveh's head drops to his friend's shoulder, all his remaining air escaping him in a rush; his fingers clutch at the other's sides, holding tight, digging in— as fucked-out and wet as his cunt is, it's a stretch— ]
[ the moment tighnari begins to press into him, he's nearly overwhelmed. kaveh is so wonderfully tight, so incredibly warm and wet, those slick walls hugging his cock, pulsing around him as he pushes deeper. a low, rough moan issues against kaveh's skin, his eyes closing and his ears laying back.
a shudder sweeps down tighnari's spine, and he swallows thickly. kaveh's words reach him, but only just, and it takes every ounce of his self-control to do as he's asked, when all he wants to do is fuck into kaveh hard and relentlessly, until he can think of nothing else. but he cares for kaveh deeply, doesn't want to hurt him (he's already hurting him), so he does what he can to restrain himself, but it won't last.
slowly, inch by agonizing inch, tighnari slides his cock inside, feeling the hot sheath of kaveh's cunt all around him until at last he's fully buried, his half-swelled knot stretching him wide. ]
Fuck -
[ he whispers harshly, trembling from the effort it takes not to move. ]
[ It's a weak, helpless whisper into Tighnari's hair, Kaveh's arms tight around him as he takes one breath in after another, allowing himself the time and space to adjust to the other man's girth. It's slow just as he asked, but from the way Tighnari trembles Kaveh knows it isn't something he'll manage to hold for too long— that he'll want more, and he'll want more soon.
(Does it hurt? Kaveh wonders, heart aching in his chest. Does it hurt for Tighnari to hold back when his body is screaming for more?) ]
It's— it's okay—
[ It's not okay, not really, but more than anything else, Kaveh doesn't want Tighnari to suffer any more than he already has. His fingers run through the same soft hair into which his lips are pressed, trying to reassure them both. ]
[ a soft, strangled sound moves in tighnari's throat, like a frustrated sob, a fierce but quiet cry. yes, it hurts, but it's not the physical ache that makes his heart twist - it's the knowledge of what this will do to kaveh, what it will do to tighnari, what it will do to their relationship. this is something that cannot be apologized for, and cannot be mended. if only kaveh had left when tighnari had asked him to.. but of course he hadn't. kaveh is far too kind. far too giving.
it's okay, he says, and tighnari can hold on no longer.
with a sharp inhale, tighnari slides his hands along kaveh's thighs, pulling them tight around his waist as he begins to move, fucking into kaveh's weeping cunt hard and deep, taking him fully, at long last finding relief from the horrible, nagging itch that has settled into his bones, the primal, animal need hooked into his flesh. ]
Kaveh..
[ he whispers, growls, his mouth opening over kaveh's pulse, hot breath gusting as he begins sucking a dark bruise into the delicate skin there. ]
[ Yes— there's no denying that this will hurt them. But Kaveh is strong, and he is stubborn. There's no way he'll let it break them. It's what he tells himself now and what he'll tell himself later, as many times as it takes for him to remember it, because Tighnari is too important to him to lose over something he can't control.
And it's not like he hasn't wanted it anyway, is it?
The other man fucks into him, hard and deep in a way that has Kaveh's hands falling back to the table, scrabbling for some sort of purchase as he moans out, hips arching into each movement, and where his thighs are caught and held, his body yearns to part them yet further, to welcome Tighnari in deeper, let him take and take and take—
Each thrust makes an obscene sound, a filthy combination of Kaveh, and Tighnari, and the man before, and Kaveh feels used and spent and dirty but so good; it's almost as if his body is rewarding him for his submission, endorphins and dopamine warming him from the inside out as his head tilts, allowing Tighnari more access to the skin of his throat.
Yes, he wants to say, mark me, show them I'm yours— Instead, he whimpers, and grips at the table more closely. ]
[ tighnari wants nothing more than to mark kaveh, to claim him thoroughly and completely, but he's holding back from that final barrier - even in his rut, his heart and mind understand the commitment that comes along with a claiming bite. kaveh might not be valuka shuna, but tighnari is, and the bond of the bite would take hold for him for the rest of his life. but a bruise or two sucked into his neck.. that much, tighnari will give, without permission.
but good gods, kaveh feels like heaven. his cunt is wet and welcoming and incredibly, deliciously tight around him, squeezing from every angle, pulsing all around his length from root to tip. he's sure he's never been so hard in his life, his cock twitching with every hard, deep thrust, every exhale riding on a low, gravelly moan.
he can feel the way that kaveh squirms, how he clearly wants to spread his legs further, so tighnari moves with it, allows it, slipping his hands beneath kaveh's knees to lift them, pushing his soft thighs apart. it allows for tighnari to fuck into him even deeper, to shove in entirely from knot to tip, filling kaveh up to the absolute brim. ]
[ The sensations are overwhelming. Mouth and sharp teeth at his neck, sucking hickeys into the skin, the pain of the split welts decorating his back and ass as he's pressed back into the table, the hard, deep thrusts into his aching body, the soft sound of moaning against his neck for each of the other's movements.
And then Tighnari pulls his legs apart further and shoves in wholly, and the sound Kaveh makes is loud, shaky, almost inhuman as the medic's knot breaches his soaked cunt, stretching it even further— more than Kaveh thought possible before— and making the blonde thrash on the table as he tries to adjust to the new sensation. It's suddenly too much, and the blonde's fingers scrabble at Tighnari's shoulders, trying to get his attention through the fog of lust. ]
`Nari, f-fuck— `nari please wait, it's too much— I can't— I can't I can't—
[ His voice breaks off in a wail, fingernails drawing semi-circles into his friend's back as he clings to him tighter, hips arching up into those filling, deep thrusts even as his mouth babbles pleas for the other to slow down. ]
[ it's too late. tighnari is too far gone. distantly, he hears kaveh's cries, but they only irritate him - he is tighnari's, his partner, his mate, he belongs to tighnari, he cannot fight this. neither of them can. now that he's pushed so deep and sunk so far into his lust, there's no coming out of it.
tighnari presses for more. he yanks kaveh's thighs, pushing him down onto the table so he can climb over him, pinning him down, his arms hooking beneath kaveh's knees to shove him upward and into a mating press, thighs against his chest. this way, he can go deep, can fuck kaveh brutally hard and fast, chasing that high, that ancient, instinctual urge to take what is his.
he says nothing. he can't speak. tighnari is an animal right now, ferocious and driven by primal, irresistible need. ]
[ Even before Tighnari yanks his thighs upward, Kaveh spies a look in his eyes, a warning that his words have gone unheard and unheeded, that there's no slowing this down now that he's started it, that this can't be stopped no matter how overwhelming it might feel.
For a single, panicked moment, the blonde fights back, presses his hands into his friend's chest and tries to push, but despite the difference in their heights, Tighnari is strong, especially like this, and Kaveh finds himself pinned under the other's weight, thighs lifted to his chest so the other can fuck him properly.
Kaveh's eyes squeeze shut, and his head tilts back, gasping breathlessly into the air as he clings to the sides of the table. Despite the near-torture brought on by the abundance of stimulation, his body is adjusting to Tighnari's size, cunt weeping slick and welcoming each thrust with a hungry, needy clench, the ache of need building deep in his core,
and soon enough Kaveh's cries are mixed, no longer just pleading for less, but now also begging for more. If Tighnari keeps up like this, he won't last— ]
[ the way gets a little easier as kaveh grows accustomed to his size, his knot filling him up, swelling with every deep thrust until it's catching on kaveh's walls, popping in and out every time he slams his hips forward.
gods, he feels so good, tighnari can hardly take it - he's growing closer and closer with every snap of his hips, that hot coil in his belly tightening up like a closed fist, twisting up his insides. tighnari's body is slick with sweat by now, flushed and overheated, and every hard exhale is a low, needful moan as kaveh's cries fill his ears, spurring him onward, urging him to take him harder, to claim him, to show him who he belongs to.
tighnari's short claws dig deep, pressing red marks into kaveh's thighs as he presses their foreheads together, dark hair sticking to his shoulders and neck.
as a rule, tighnari is generally an attentive lover. he gives and takes, and he tries his best to always see to his partner's pleasure, but right now tighnari can't think of anything beyond his own need that claws at his belly with hot and steely talons. it's clear that he's at the brink.
with a sharp, guttural cry, tighnari cums, spilling hot, thick spend into kaveh's waiting, abused cunt, filling him up with wave after wave as his hips stutter. cum fills him entirely, gushing around his knot which soon swells further, locking him into place. at last.. at last, satisfaction. ]
[ In his time working as a courtesan, Kaveh has learned quickly that it's more pleasing to the client if they feel like they've made him cum— as such, he's trained himself, and while he's far from being able to cum on command, when he's aroused enough, he can make something happen. Maybe not always an orgasm, but something close enough that the client feels accomplished.
This... isn't that. When Tighnari's spend fills him in waves, with stutters of his hips, Kaveh cums hard, a sharp cry on his lips that will no doubt be heard through the halls of the brothel. His walls pulse, cunt clenching in its hunger and desire around the thickening knot pressed deep into him.
The trembling sigh on his lips, though, is more sob than anything else. His back hurts, his ass hurts, his cunt aches— his heart hurts, even though he knows deep down that it's not Tighnari's fault, that there was nothing the medic could do to stop what came over him just now. ]
`Nari...? Are you alright now...?
[ A hand, sticky with the blood spilled on the table, lifts to lay on his friend's shoulder even as tears spill from the corners of Kaveh's eyes, unbidden despite his best efforts. ]
[ for a brief, fleeting, all too short moment, tighnari feels.. at peace. he's scratched that awful, tortuous, burning itch, he's found deep satisfaction, and a rightness with his body.
which all too quickly turns to wrongness. tighnari is bleary, panting hard, his breath rattling and his body burning and trembling from the force he'd used and the ripping pleasure he'd felt, but it isn't long before the fog begins to clear, and tighnari slowly comes back to himself, second by agonizing second.
what have i done..?
the air smells of sweat and sex, but also of the coppery scent of blood. it's sticky on kaveh's palm when it lands on his shoulder, and tighnari pulls back, horrified and stricken. ]
Kaveh, I -
[ gods. oh, gods - a wave of guilt crashes over his head, punching the air from his lungs and grasping his heart in an icy fist. how had this happened? kaveh is his dear friend, his companion, and tighnari, he.. he's done something that cannot be undone, broken something that can never be fixed. swallowing around a dry throat, he searches for the right words, but none come to mind, for there are none. nothing could make up for what he has done. ]
[ Kaveh is still trying to ground himself again when his name is suddenly murmured, a voice horrified and broken, and the blonde's eyes open, filled with tears but with an odd clarity despite everything that has just happened between them. He sees the realization writing itself over Tighnari's face, the panicked way he pulls back, the stricken expression speaking of heartbreak and fear.
And Kaveh slowly shakes his head, hand coming up to the other's cheek and leaving a bloody print there— though the blonde barely notices it. ]
It's okay. [ His voice is a murmur, and there's a weak, tired smile on his lips as he looks up at him through the dim light of the room. ] You didn't mean to, `Nari. It's okay. I'm okay.
[ It's not okay, and neither is he. But he's not about to make this whole thing that much worse when he can already see the guilt written all over his friend's face, not when he knows that this was biological, that there was little Tighnari could do to prevent it other than telling Kaveh to leave—
[ he knows very well that this isn't okay, that kaveh isn't okay, that they are not okay. there is nothing even remotely okay about any of this, and he won't allow himself to be comforted when he has broken kaveh's trust so completely, when he has violated him in ways that may never heal. tighnari's chest feels tight, and he can sense the creeping panic climbing his shoulders. all he wants to do is run, to pull away and curl in a dark corner of his room and never, ever look kaveh in the eye again.
but that's not possible. they're tied together, his hips won't budge, and besides, kaveh deserves better. tighnari isn't a coward. he's done this terrible thing, and he needs to own up to it. tears fill his eyes, hot and stinging, but he blinks them back with a rough, rattling inhale; he doesn't deserve to cry, to have that outlet, and kaveh should not feel the need to comfort him when this is entirely and squarely on tighnari's shoulders. ]
And you shouldn't be sorry. You didn't - you didn't do anything wrong, it was.. I was..
[ he can't pull away from kaveh, all he can to is close his eyes and turn his face away, his trembling tail tucking between his legs in deep, consuming shame. ]
[ Kaveh doesn't know what to do. Tighnari (rightfully) won't listen when he says he's okay, and his knot keeps them from separating. He won't look at him, can barely talk to him— and... Archons, gods, are those tears welling in his friend's eyes?
Kaveh takes a deep, shuddering breath. ]
...Okay. I won't lie to you. [ His friend is always honest with everyone else, so doesn't he deserve honesty in return? And maybe it's the best way to explain how he feels over what has just happened to them. ] It's not okay. But it... it also wasn't your fault, okay? You didn't mean for it to happen. You tried... you tried really hard to fight it.
[ As he speaks, the tears flow over his lashes and down his cheeks. Yes, he's been hurt. Violated, even. He'll cry about it later, in the privacy of his own quarters, for it. Something has happened that they can't take back— but that doesn't mean it has to ruin them, either. Everything broken can be repaired. Right? ]
It's not okay but— but we're okay. [ The words aren't enough, but they're all he has right now. He just needs Tighnari to be okay again. ]
tighnari doesn't know, but he does appreciate kaveh's open honesty, even if it's a knife in his heart. kaveh is clinging desperately to their friendship, their relationship, and tighnari does not understand why, when he has betrayed kaveh so deeply, so completely..
he opens his mouth to reply, but all he can manage is a soft, painful, twisted sound like a quiet sob, broken and mournful. he can't look at kaveh, can't allow kaveh to see the mask of pain on his face, can't allow him to take any more blame for this than he already has. kaveh did nothing wrong, he was only trying to help, it was tighnari who could not control himself, who was careless enough to let this happen.
he's a healer. he's supposed to help, not to hurt.
dropping his head, tighnari's ears pin back against his skull, his shoulders shaking as he hides his face against kaveh's shoulder. ]
I'm.. I'm so sorry.
[ it's not enough. an apology could never be enough. ]
[ The sound Tighnari breaks serves only to break Kaveh's heart. The blonde's arms wrap tight around him, pull him close as that face presses into his shoulder.
The other is uttering apologies that he can't stop, and as much as he wants to claim he doesn't need them, he knows in his heart he does. He's hurt, he's hurting, and he knows Tighnari is the only who hurt him— but he also knows it's not Tighnari's fault.
His fingers thread into the other's hair, stroking through it softly, and lips press a soft kiss into his scalp even as his tears wet it in the same moment. ]
`Nari.
[ His voice is quiet, hushed against the other's hair. ]
Do you remember when I first told you that I'm a guy? I told you I wanted to die, because I felt like— [ he pauses, swallows hard against the lump in his throat ] —I told you I was a freak. Do you remember what you said?
[ kaveh holds to him, and tighnari wants so badly to pull away, to ask kaveh why he's bothering, why he still cares. it doesn't make sense. tighnari deserves his wrath, not his forgiveness - he has betrayed kaveh, and he has betrayed himself. the comfort he gets from kaveh's warm arms around him feels wrong, it feels forbidden, it feels utterly undeserved. tighnari is sure that he has never felt so low. everything feels broken.
the only reason he does not run is because he can't.
when kaveh speaks again, tighnari is silent. yes, he remembers, of course he remembers. he'd been so worried about kaveh, then, had been completely bent on helping him to move forward and heal and learn how to love himself in his own skin. ]
[ As uncomfortable as it feels with Tighnari's knot pressed firmly into him, Kaveh is almost glad for it in the moment. He can feel the other man twitching, feel the urge for him to run away, but the knot prevents him from doing so, forces him to stay pressed in close to the older of the two.
Because as hurt as Kaveh is, he won't just let Tighnari run from this. If he runs, then things stay broken, and that can't happen, not when the other man means so much to him, so...
He has to fix this. Somehow. ]
Tell me. [ His voice is quiet, shaky with exhaustion and emotion both, but insistent. ] Tell me what you said to me then.
[ kaveh is trying so hard to hold on, to make this all okay, and tighnari can't for the life of him understand why. why he would forgive this. why he would ever think that this would be okay. why he would want it to be okay. all of this is entirely baffling. ]
I.. I said..
[ he tries to think, tries to remember, though his mind is spinning, reeling. ]
I said.. there is only evolution and change. That it was beautiful.
[ but what could possibly be beautiful about this? how is it in any way the same? ]
[ Kaveh nods, the movement slow so as not to upset the delicate balance between the two of them right now. ]
Yeah. You did. At the time... I understood it as you telling me that... this is who I am, right? That it's something I can't change, but that makes me who I am?
[ Even in the dim light of the room, the scars from Kaveh's surgery are visible, underscoring each pectoral like a dark slash. At first, he'd hated them— now, they're a badge of pride. But Tighnari stood by him through all of it, helped him remember who he was. ]
[ but kaveh can't understand. his body, his transition didn't hurt anyone - it's not the same thing, tighnari has done something despicable, something that will surely haunt kaveh for the rest of his days. he's already been through so much..
but kaveh is trying so very hard to make this better, to make things okay, that tighnari does not have the heart to argue further, to tell him that he's wrong. to convince him that there's no healing this, that he shouldn't forgive tighnari for this. instead he falls silent, closing his eyes against the tears that threaten to spill, his throat working as he swallows thickly.
he's softening, his knot slowly receding, enough so that he is beginning to slip free. ]
Kaveh.. you should go, before I lose control again. I'll - I'll patch you up, but then you need to leave.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
indigently) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sempiternals2023-12-14 11:09 am
no subject
but gods, he wants more. needs more. he's so fucking hard in his shorts that it's painful, and feeling kaveh's cunt around his fingers is driving him out of his mind, imagining just how it would feel around his cock, so warm and welcoming, hugging so tightly..
and that godsdamned smell, the scent of that man clinging to kaveh sparks rage in tighnari's blood. he wants to wash it all away, to replace it with himself, his own scent and spend, his own marks. breaking the kiss with a wet smack, tighnari drags his mouth down kaveh's throat, fangs raking his pulse before he bites down on the dip where his shoulder and neck meet. ]
I need you..
[ he whispers, and with surprising strength he hauls kaveh closer with an arm around his waist, tugging him toward the edge of the table. his fingers slip against the blood on kaveh's back. ]
I'll destroy him, for hurting you -
[ nevermind that tighnari is the one hurting him now, as he withdraws his wet fingers and flicks away the residual cum of the interloper, before yanking down the front of his shorts to free his painful erection. ]
no subject
(that's not true; Kaveh would have chosen this, just not like this, with Tighnari out of his mind with lust and need alike)
—but he's dizzy, oversensitive and somehow wanting all at once, a strange hunger in the pit of his stomach that it seems to his mind can only be fixed by Tighnari. It doesn't make any sense, and his logical mind will go over it later, question it, and— ]
A-ah—
[ His eyes squeeze shut as he's bitten, a sharp pain in the skin that seems reminiscent of a claim, and Tighnari is growling more, threatening violence on the man who caused the spill of blood in which his fingers now spill even as he drags Kaveh closer and yanks down his sleep shorts
(and the blonde whines petulantly as those fingers slip out of his cunt, stealing away the pleasure he'd started to chase with little rocks of his hips)
and Kaveh's eyes drop to the hardness between his friend's legs and his cunt clenches reflexively, less in pleasure and more in anxiety. ]
Is— is that gonna fit—
[ It's never a question he's had to ask before. He's taken plenty of cocks, some of them quite large, but nothing like this, a size surprising for Tighnari's diminutive form. Not to mention the burgeoning knot at the base, the sight of which makes crimson eyes widen. ]
no subject
he's ruining everything. he's breaking them apart. he can't control himself. ]
It will. You were made for me.
[ he rumbles softly, taking his cock in wet fingers, dragging the flushed tip through kaveh's puffy pink folds, rubbing it against the swell of his clit. he's so damned ready and feral that it's a wonder he hasn't shoved his way inside immediately, the last shreds of his control are clinging fast, but being torn away by his need, one by one. now that he's felt that perfect heat against his tip, he knows he can't resist.
tighnari's free hand slides down kaveh's thigh, grasping tightly and hiking it high onto his hip as he cants his hips forward, and begins to push inside. ]
no subject
Made— for you—
[ He repeats the words as Tighnari's hand grabs at his thigh, lifts it high so he can fuck into him, and Kaveh's head drops to his friend's shoulder, all his remaining air escaping him in a rush; his fingers clutch at the other's sides, holding tight, digging in— as fucked-out and wet as his cunt is, it's a stretch— ]
N-Nari— a little... slowly, please..
no subject
a shudder sweeps down tighnari's spine, and he swallows thickly. kaveh's words reach him, but only just, and it takes every ounce of his self-control to do as he's asked, when all he wants to do is fuck into kaveh hard and relentlessly, until he can think of nothing else. but he cares for kaveh deeply, doesn't want to hurt him (he's already hurting him), so he does what he can to restrain himself, but it won't last.
slowly, inch by agonizing inch, tighnari slides his cock inside, feeling the hot sheath of kaveh's cunt all around him until at last he's fully buried, his half-swelled knot stretching him wide. ]
Fuck -
[ he whispers harshly, trembling from the effort it takes not to move. ]
no subject
[ It's a weak, helpless whisper into Tighnari's hair, Kaveh's arms tight around him as he takes one breath in after another, allowing himself the time and space to adjust to the other man's girth. It's slow just as he asked, but from the way Tighnari trembles Kaveh knows it isn't something he'll manage to hold for too long— that he'll want more, and he'll want more soon.
(Does it hurt? Kaveh wonders, heart aching in his chest. Does it hurt for Tighnari to hold back when his body is screaming for more?) ]
It's— it's okay—
[ It's not okay, not really, but more than anything else, Kaveh doesn't want Tighnari to suffer any more than he already has. His fingers run through the same soft hair into which his lips are pressed, trying to reassure them both. ]
It's okay, `nari.
no subject
it's okay, he says, and tighnari can hold on no longer.
with a sharp inhale, tighnari slides his hands along kaveh's thighs, pulling them tight around his waist as he begins to move, fucking into kaveh's weeping cunt hard and deep, taking him fully, at long last finding relief from the horrible, nagging itch that has settled into his bones, the primal, animal need hooked into his flesh. ]
Kaveh..
[ he whispers, growls, his mouth opening over kaveh's pulse, hot breath gusting as he begins sucking a dark bruise into the delicate skin there. ]
no subject
And it's not like he hasn't wanted it anyway, is it?
The other man fucks into him, hard and deep in a way that has Kaveh's hands falling back to the table, scrabbling for some sort of purchase as he moans out, hips arching into each movement, and where his thighs are caught and held, his body yearns to part them yet further, to welcome Tighnari in deeper, let him take and take and take—
Each thrust makes an obscene sound, a filthy combination of Kaveh, and Tighnari, and the man before, and Kaveh feels used and spent and dirty but so good; it's almost as if his body is rewarding him for his submission, endorphins and dopamine warming him from the inside out as his head tilts, allowing Tighnari more access to the skin of his throat.
Yes, he wants to say, mark me, show them I'm yours— Instead, he whimpers, and grips at the table more closely. ]
no subject
but good gods, kaveh feels like heaven. his cunt is wet and welcoming and incredibly, deliciously tight around him, squeezing from every angle, pulsing all around his length from root to tip. he's sure he's never been so hard in his life, his cock twitching with every hard, deep thrust, every exhale riding on a low, gravelly moan.
he can feel the way that kaveh squirms, how he clearly wants to spread his legs further, so tighnari moves with it, allows it, slipping his hands beneath kaveh's knees to lift them, pushing his soft thighs apart. it allows for tighnari to fuck into him even deeper, to shove in entirely from knot to tip, filling kaveh up to the absolute brim. ]
no subject
And then Tighnari pulls his legs apart further and shoves in wholly, and the sound Kaveh makes is loud, shaky, almost inhuman as the medic's knot breaches his soaked cunt, stretching it even further— more than Kaveh thought possible before— and making the blonde thrash on the table as he tries to adjust to the new sensation. It's suddenly too much, and the blonde's fingers scrabble at Tighnari's shoulders, trying to get his attention through the fog of lust. ]
`Nari, f-fuck— `nari please wait, it's too much— I can't— I can't I can't—
[ His voice breaks off in a wail, fingernails drawing semi-circles into his friend's back as he clings to him tighter, hips arching up into those filling, deep thrusts even as his mouth babbles pleas for the other to slow down. ]
no subject
tighnari presses for more. he yanks kaveh's thighs, pushing him down onto the table so he can climb over him, pinning him down, his arms hooking beneath kaveh's knees to shove him upward and into a mating press, thighs against his chest. this way, he can go deep, can fuck kaveh brutally hard and fast, chasing that high, that ancient, instinctual urge to take what is his.
he says nothing. he can't speak. tighnari is an animal right now, ferocious and driven by primal, irresistible need. ]
no subject
For a single, panicked moment, the blonde fights back, presses his hands into his friend's chest and tries to push, but despite the difference in their heights, Tighnari is strong, especially like this, and Kaveh finds himself pinned under the other's weight, thighs lifted to his chest so the other can fuck him properly.
Kaveh's eyes squeeze shut, and his head tilts back, gasping breathlessly into the air as he clings to the sides of the table. Despite the near-torture brought on by the abundance of stimulation, his body is adjusting to Tighnari's size, cunt weeping slick and welcoming each thrust with a hungry, needy clench, the ache of need building deep in his core,
and soon enough Kaveh's cries are mixed, no longer just pleading for less, but now also begging for more. If Tighnari keeps up like this, he won't last— ]
no subject
gods, he feels so good, tighnari can hardly take it - he's growing closer and closer with every snap of his hips, that hot coil in his belly tightening up like a closed fist, twisting up his insides. tighnari's body is slick with sweat by now, flushed and overheated, and every hard exhale is a low, needful moan as kaveh's cries fill his ears, spurring him onward, urging him to take him harder, to claim him, to show him who he belongs to.
tighnari's short claws dig deep, pressing red marks into kaveh's thighs as he presses their foreheads together, dark hair sticking to his shoulders and neck.
as a rule, tighnari is generally an attentive lover. he gives and takes, and he tries his best to always see to his partner's pleasure, but right now tighnari can't think of anything beyond his own need that claws at his belly with hot and steely talons. it's clear that he's at the brink.
with a sharp, guttural cry, tighnari cums, spilling hot, thick spend into kaveh's waiting, abused cunt, filling him up with wave after wave as his hips stutter. cum fills him entirely, gushing around his knot which soon swells further, locking him into place. at last.. at last, satisfaction. ]
no subject
This... isn't that. When Tighnari's spend fills him in waves, with stutters of his hips, Kaveh cums hard, a sharp cry on his lips that will no doubt be heard through the halls of the brothel. His walls pulse, cunt clenching in its hunger and desire around the thickening knot pressed deep into him.
The trembling sigh on his lips, though, is more sob than anything else. His back hurts, his ass hurts, his cunt aches— his heart hurts, even though he knows deep down that it's not Tighnari's fault, that there was nothing the medic could do to stop what came over him just now. ]
`Nari...? Are you alright now...?
[ A hand, sticky with the blood spilled on the table, lifts to lay on his friend's shoulder even as tears spill from the corners of Kaveh's eyes, unbidden despite his best efforts. ]
no subject
which all too quickly turns to wrongness. tighnari is bleary, panting hard, his breath rattling and his body burning and trembling from the force he'd used and the ripping pleasure he'd felt, but it isn't long before the fog begins to clear, and tighnari slowly comes back to himself, second by agonizing second.
what have i done..?
the air smells of sweat and sex, but also of the coppery scent of blood. it's sticky on kaveh's palm when it lands on his shoulder, and tighnari pulls back, horrified and stricken. ]
Kaveh, I -
[ gods. oh, gods - a wave of guilt crashes over his head, punching the air from his lungs and grasping his heart in an icy fist. how had this happened? kaveh is his dear friend, his companion, and tighnari, he.. he's done something that cannot be undone, broken something that can never be fixed. swallowing around a dry throat, he searches for the right words, but none come to mind, for there are none. nothing could make up for what he has done. ]
no subject
And Kaveh slowly shakes his head, hand coming up to the other's cheek and leaving a bloody print there— though the blonde barely notices it. ]
It's okay. [ His voice is a murmur, and there's a weak, tired smile on his lips as he looks up at him through the dim light of the room. ] You didn't mean to, `Nari. It's okay. I'm okay.
[ It's not okay, and neither is he. But he's not about to make this whole thing that much worse when he can already see the guilt written all over his friend's face, not when he knows that this was biological, that there was little Tighnari could do to prevent it other than telling Kaveh to leave—
which he did do. ]
I should've left when you said. I'm sorry.
no subject
Don't lie to me.
[ he knows very well that this isn't okay, that kaveh isn't okay, that they are not okay. there is nothing even remotely okay about any of this, and he won't allow himself to be comforted when he has broken kaveh's trust so completely, when he has violated him in ways that may never heal. tighnari's chest feels tight, and he can sense the creeping panic climbing his shoulders. all he wants to do is run, to pull away and curl in a dark corner of his room and never, ever look kaveh in the eye again.
but that's not possible. they're tied together, his hips won't budge, and besides, kaveh deserves better. tighnari isn't a coward. he's done this terrible thing, and he needs to own up to it. tears fill his eyes, hot and stinging, but he blinks them back with a rough, rattling inhale; he doesn't deserve to cry, to have that outlet, and kaveh should not feel the need to comfort him when this is entirely and squarely on tighnari's shoulders. ]
And you shouldn't be sorry. You didn't - you didn't do anything wrong, it was.. I was..
[ he can't pull away from kaveh, all he can to is close his eyes and turn his face away, his trembling tail tucking between his legs in deep, consuming shame. ]
no subject
Kaveh takes a deep, shuddering breath. ]
...Okay. I won't lie to you. [ His friend is always honest with everyone else, so doesn't he deserve honesty in return? And maybe it's the best way to explain how he feels over what has just happened to them. ] It's not okay. But it... it also wasn't your fault, okay? You didn't mean for it to happen. You tried... you tried really hard to fight it.
[ As he speaks, the tears flow over his lashes and down his cheeks. Yes, he's been hurt. Violated, even. He'll cry about it later, in the privacy of his own quarters, for it. Something has happened that they can't take back— but that doesn't mean it has to ruin them, either. Everything broken can be repaired. Right? ]
It's not okay but— but we're okay. [ The words aren't enough, but they're all he has right now. He just needs Tighnari to be okay again. ]
no subject
tighnari doesn't know, but he does appreciate kaveh's open honesty, even if it's a knife in his heart. kaveh is clinging desperately to their friendship, their relationship, and tighnari does not understand why, when he has betrayed kaveh so deeply, so completely..
he opens his mouth to reply, but all he can manage is a soft, painful, twisted sound like a quiet sob, broken and mournful. he can't look at kaveh, can't allow kaveh to see the mask of pain on his face, can't allow him to take any more blame for this than he already has. kaveh did nothing wrong, he was only trying to help, it was tighnari who could not control himself, who was careless enough to let this happen.
he's a healer. he's supposed to help, not to hurt.
dropping his head, tighnari's ears pin back against his skull, his shoulders shaking as he hides his face against kaveh's shoulder. ]
I'm.. I'm so sorry.
[ it's not enough. an apology could never be enough. ]
no subject
The other is uttering apologies that he can't stop, and as much as he wants to claim he doesn't need them, he knows in his heart he does. He's hurt, he's hurting, and he knows Tighnari is the only who hurt him— but he also knows it's not Tighnari's fault.
His fingers thread into the other's hair, stroking through it softly, and lips press a soft kiss into his scalp even as his tears wet it in the same moment. ]
`Nari.
[ His voice is quiet, hushed against the other's hair. ]
Do you remember when I first told you that I'm a guy? I told you I wanted to die, because I felt like— [ he pauses, swallows hard against the lump in his throat ] —I told you I was a freak. Do you remember what you said?
no subject
the only reason he does not run is because he can't.
when kaveh speaks again, tighnari is silent. yes, he remembers, of course he remembers. he'd been so worried about kaveh, then, had been completely bent on helping him to move forward and heal and learn how to love himself in his own skin. ]
.. yes, I remember.
no subject
Because as hurt as Kaveh is, he won't just let Tighnari run from this. If he runs, then things stay broken, and that can't happen, not when the other man means so much to him, so...
He has to fix this. Somehow. ]
Tell me. [ His voice is quiet, shaky with exhaustion and emotion both, but insistent. ] Tell me what you said to me then.
no subject
I.. I said..
[ he tries to think, tries to remember, though his mind is spinning, reeling. ]
I said.. there is only evolution and change. That it was beautiful.
[ but what could possibly be beautiful about this? how is it in any way the same? ]
no subject
Yeah. You did. At the time... I understood it as you telling me that... this is who I am, right? That it's something I can't change, but that makes me who I am?
[ Even in the dim light of the room, the scars from Kaveh's surgery are visible, underscoring each pectoral like a dark slash. At first, he'd hated them— now, they're a badge of pride. But Tighnari stood by him through all of it, helped him remember who he was. ]
Did I understand you wrongly?
no subject
[ but kaveh can't understand. his body, his transition didn't hurt anyone - it's not the same thing, tighnari has done something despicable, something that will surely haunt kaveh for the rest of his days. he's already been through so much..
but kaveh is trying so very hard to make this better, to make things okay, that tighnari does not have the heart to argue further, to tell him that he's wrong. to convince him that there's no healing this, that he shouldn't forgive tighnari for this. instead he falls silent, closing his eyes against the tears that threaten to spill, his throat working as he swallows thickly.
he's softening, his knot slowly receding, enough so that he is beginning to slip free. ]
Kaveh.. you should go, before I lose control again. I'll - I'll patch you up, but then you need to leave.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)