sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[ It's not the first time Euler has called him perfect— and Kaveh hopes it's not the last. Every time it's said, he gets a silly little flutter in his chest, a feeling like swarming butterflies in his stomach; he's never felt perfect in his life, but when Euler names him as such, he can actually almost believe it. Despite the circumstances of their meeting, he trusts the other man that much, imagines he'll only say those things that he truly feels.

So too does he trust him enough to follow his instructions and requests without hesitation, nodding when he's told to let the other know if he becomes uncomfortable— that it's okay if he needs them to move.

This is why, Kaveh thinks, he wants it to be Euler. He already knows how well the other will treat him, does treat him, and he's thinking about telling the other man so much when the slow, gentle press of lips to his back distracts him.

Later, then. Later, because he really wants to say it, needs to say it even, but—

Kaveh moans, breath catching, when the bite against his cheek is followed by a slow stripe of Euler's tongue. His fingers scrabble, curling into the sheets. ]

[Here's something that Pharos can't achieve via his own fingers, via any toys at his disposal. Alhaitham knows that while Kaveh is flexible, there's only so much he can do to himself. So the moan delights him and he hums enough to be heard, grinning while he swirls his tongue once again, rubs at the puckered hole in slow, tantalizing circles as he kneads at the flesh of his ass.]

[ There is only so much that Kaveh can do to himself, and this is certainly not one of those things. Nor was it even at the top of his list for things he imagined Euler doing.

But it feels good, and there's no way that the other won't see it written all over Kaveh, the blonde writhing against the bed, pressing his face into the covers as if to muffle the soft, whiny moans that surface on his lips. ]

Eu-Euler..

[Alhaitham allows his hand to smack Kaveh's asscheek. Not enough to hurt, but just enough to startle, to give the threat of pain. He suckles, licks, prods at it with his tongue, with his thumb, teasing the rim of where he's most sensitive over and over.]

Let me hear you. [He says as he comes up for a short moment.] Call out to me.

[ Alhaitham is rewarded for the smack with a visceral jolt of Kaveh's body, a moan too loud even with his face pressed into the bed. Oh— that he likes, apparently, from the way it makes his cock spasm against the sheets, from the swell of pleasure in his gut.

And of course, the sensations of the other's tongue and mouth and thumb only add to it, teasing him until his eyes are rolling back in his head, until he's panting helplessly against the sheets.

Call out, Euler says, and he can't help but comply, lifting his head to gasp out the other's name once more. Like this, he doesn't know how long he'll last, but... ]

Gods— so good—

[Oh? He likes that, does he?

Alhaitham hums, rubs at the spot where his palm had landed, squeezes it, and then tugs Kaveh's hips a bit higher.

Not only the friction against his cock lessens, but he also gets more access to the back of his thighs.

Which he promptly bites, hard enough to leave a mark.]

Hm. Good. [He says, before he kisses the sore spot, the one on his buttock, and then nestles his face against his hole again, laving it with all the affection and love he can muster.]

[ The reduction in friction against his cock should make things a little easier for him. But in the same moment, teeth sink into his thigh hard enough to make him yelp, a sting of pain that has him twitch, fingers tightening on the bedspread until his knuckles are white. ]

Fuck—

[ A groan turns into a whine on his lips, Kaveh's hips arching against Euler's mouth, and his cock twitches in need; he's embarrassingly aroused over so little, and while he's not in the danger zone yet, he... ]

Euler, do you.. mn, do you think the vending machine has any, ngh. Any rings? I.. I don't wanna lose it too soon.

[So, a little bit of pain to spice up the pleasure. There's something that runs deeper alongside the contrast of pleasure and pain, but Alhaitham is way too focused on making Kaveh react rather than philosophize over it.

Later, though, he would. And he'd sigh with fondness. With a slight sliver of exasperation, his heart clenching.]

What if I want to see you come undone? [He says, blowing on the hole to tease it before thrusting his tongue in and out.] I'd like that. [He rakes his teeth over the flesh of his other cheek.] I like watching you lose your mind, Pharos.

[ He sucks in a soft gasp when Euler blows against him, teasing him about wanting to see him fall apart; then the other's tongue presses into him and thrusts, and he releases the gasp in a cry, biting down hard on his lower lip as he writhes under the other's ministrations. Euler says he wants to see him come undone, but... ]

But I— I don't want this to be over too soon.

[ It comes out almost as a whisper, his cheeks reddening on the admission. ]

I want.. I wanna be with you, Euler, I... nn, please.

Aren't you?

[Alhaitham draws back, crawling over him carefully, stroking up his spine, heavy handed, almost possessive. Euler has no claim over him, but acting as though he had seems to ground Kaveh into softness, into safety.] I'm here with you, as much as you are here with me.

[He presses a kiss to the crown of his head, hand coming up to stroke along his throat, tipping his head to stretch the beautiful column of his neck, kneading at his jaw.] I want to learn you, to give you something that you can't give yourself. Isn't that being with you?

I—

[ And it does ground him, turns him into something akin to putty in Euler's hold, letting him be guided the way the other sees fit. He feels safe with him, sighing as the other tilts back his head to press a kiss along it, hand stroking at his throat before fingers press over his jaw.

Kaveh pouts, because he thinks he understands what Euler means. And it makes sense...

and he hates that it does. ]

It is, but.. but you know what I mean. I want that too, Euler. I want..

[ A pause as his cheeks heat all over again, as his eyes dart away for a moment. ]

I want you to be my first.

[His fingers flare to stroke the velvet of Kaveh's cheek.

And the way he says this is so awestruck, so reverent:] My darling…

[This foolish, foolish man. Wanting a stranger from the internet, someone who paid him money to show and pleasure himself, someone who, when the mask is off, Kaveh doesn't want anything to do with. This beautiful, needy man just wanting to be well-treated. Alhaitham draws back, kneels behind Kaveh, and pulls him to kneel in front of him.] C'mere.

[Pressing close to his back, his erection digging into his ass, adding to the wetness left by his tongue, slipping and grinding into the cleft, as Alhaitham presses kisses on his neck, nips on the parts of his nape where they'd be covered. Nuzzles the beautiful shell of his ear.] Give us time, baby. I want to be inside you, too. But give us time. Give us thought.

[He rolls his hips in, looks over Kaveh's shoulder, stroking his stomach and navel and then pulls back, places his knees outside of Kaveh's and presses them together.] See? I want you so badly.

[ Darling, Euler calls him, and then baby again, soothing him as he shifts Kaveh to kneel in front of him and grinds against his ass, rewarding his skin with kisses and bites and making the blonde shudder and whine. He wants to be with him so desperately, but again the other's words make sense, even if Kaveh can't help but fear the idea of time becoming an impenetrable hurdle to a relationship had mostly online.

Can't help but fear the idea that Euler will tire of him and move on, annoyed by how depressed and whiny he can be when they talk.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, though, he doesn't say as much. Instead, he nods, turning his head so he can look at Euler a little better, nodding in response to the other's statement, to the way he rolls his hips and shows Kaveh how he's already hard again— for him, all for him.

...Surely this means Euler will want to see him again, right? Even if it's only for sex... and Kaveh can handle that, can't he? As long as he gets to see him.

He sighs, his hands bracing on his knees as he nods again. ]

Y-yeah. I see.. I feel it. Please, Mister E...

[Alhaitham's hand slips down Kaveh's stomach, strokes along the fine hair dusting his navel, and wraps around the girth of his erection, squeezing tight, hard. He had asked for a ring, after all, and while its rudy coloring is so tempting, he wants to give him a chance to last a little longer as he thrusts into the tight space between his thighs, spearing beneath his sack, prodding further to be seen at the front.

You feel so good already. He rasps against his jaw, pressing a kiss to it, wrapping his arm around his torso and holding him close.] I wish I could have you all for myself. I'd like to take my time with you, savor you, if you'll allow me.

[ Kaveh gasps again, whines, when the other man's hand wraps around his erection to squeeze, further staving off the erection that was building up. He asked for a ring, but he whines anyway as he leans back against him, groans at the sensation of Euler's cock thrusting between his legs, each movement moving along under his sack and making him shudder with pleasure. ]

You can—

[ It's a soft cry made in response to Euler's statement, Kaveh's eyes flicking shut as he rolls his hips down against the other, trying to create more friction. ]

You can have me all for yourself, Euler. You're the only one I want..

[ Like an intrusive thought, Alhaitham pops into his head, and Kaveh grits his teeth, willing him away. It's not like that.. ]

[He doesn't mean it.

He can't. Pharos' economic wealth would go against Alhaitham's own possessiveness. Euler would be banned from the site if it was known that he'd drive one of their top streamers out of it, and Pharos himself would be shunned by a community that welcomed and accepted him for who he is so well. Alhaitham could never take that away from him, and even if he grips him tight, even if he thrusts into the tight heat of his thighs and pelvis with a strong enough motion to make their flesh slap, he knows it's not out of jealousy or greed, but wanting Kaveh to forget about everything but the two of them.

So when Kaveh says that—that he's the one; the only one—he knows this is a foolish thing to say in an impulsive, mindless moment.]

You have me. [He says. Because it's true. Because Euler doesn't watch anyone else. Because Alhaitham has surrendered himself to him so easily, even if Kaveh wishes him gone. Pharos may be his viewers', but Euler is Pharos' alone.] I'm yours.

[ What's scary is that Kaveh does mean it. He's falling ~~(fallen)~~ hard and fast for this man, finds himself wanting to be with him more and more. In his idealistic, hopeful brain, he hasn't even thought about the contradictions, much less the inherent difficulties. In his mind, he isn't even considering the site or his other viewers, because Euler is the only one he looks forward to seeing.

That's okay, isn't it...?

He moans again when their flash starts to slap together, head tilting back slightly in an effort to lean it against Euler's shoulder, and then the other makes that promise to him and Kaveh feels his muscles tense, building toward an orgasm that refuses to happen, locked away by the ring of the other's hand. He whines, hips shuffling helplessly, and yet it's oh so good, and he doesn't complain or ask to be freed. ]

Then— I'm yours too. This is.. this is the only thing I want. I...

[ And he bites it back, bites back admitting that he's falling ~~(fallen)~~ for him. Surely it's too soon. ]

[Alhaitham lets go.

He releases Kaveh, pushes him forward, knowing that it would eventually make him drop to the mattress again, nimble enough to pull a pillow closer so it would rest under his belly to give him more of an angle. He lets go, and he follows suit once Kaveh is laying down again, to reach for his cock again and stroke, slow but still tight, small motions of friction to make Pharos lose his mind, just a little bit. And he lets gravity, that inexorable thing that makes them orbit around each other, do the rest with his hips as he thrusts once again, as though he would actually fuck into Kaveh.]

You deserve more than this, Pharos. [Kaveh. He deserves to be treated with respect and affection by anyone, as a rule, not an exception. Because at this point, this is what Euler is—an exception to a very shitty, unfair rule.

Life isn't fair. Life isn't easy. Still, Kaveh of all people doesn't need to earn what's essentially a right. Doesn't need to prove anyone that he belongs here. Not just with Euler. Not just with Alhaitham. Here, in this Earth.

Because somehow, even his own rational brain has started to consider that Kaveh makes everything a bit more interesting. A bit more beautiful. This is why it pains him to see him tearing himself apart, with how much light he already refracts.

Alhaitham bites on the back of his neck, squeezing his fingers tightly again.] You deserve so much more.

[ He bites his lip as he's pushed forward, as Euler starts to stroke him again, writhing under the touches for how slow and tight it is; he can tell the other is keeping him teetering on the precipice and it drives him wild, makes him moan and whimper. The angle makes it seem like the other will actually fuck into him, which only makes it more agonizing every time he doesn't—

And then the quiet words start, and his eyes widen, attention momentarily pulled away entirely from what the other is doing, his heart hammering in his chest as he tries to pull his brain together enough that he can understand it, blinking slowly as his hips continue to move of their own accord. ]

I..

[ He doesn't understand. What is it that he deserves? What is Euler telling him? Surely it's not that he doesn't see this moment as enough... this is the best thing that's happened to Kaveh in years. But then what could he possibly mean?

His breath hitches as he moves, tries (and fails) to get a good view of the man still fucking firmly between his thighs, stroking him in a way that makes him want to combust. Instead, the back of his neck is bitten, and Kaveh gasps out. ]

Wha— what do you mean?

[Alhaitham's fingers find Kaveh's jaw, stroke the beautiful wings of his bones there, down to the graceful column of his throat as he keeps fucking him in earnest. As his other hand strokes him yet again, this time fast, light, as though asking for Kaveh to climax quickly.

Only to seize that pleasure again after a while. Alhaitham allows his hips to still, grinding in slow, languid circles instead, deep into the enclosure of Kaveh's body, and he groans into his ear.] Ask for it, darling. Ask for more.

[ Kaveh's question goes unanswered, but his attention is tugged away from it again by the way those fingers splay over his throat as Euler's other hand strokes him faster, drawing him closer and closer, right until Kaveh thinks he'll fall over the edge and then— ]

No— [ It's a wail of agony when his orgasm is choked off once more, muscles tensing to no reward, hips stuttering under the other's hand, gasping for breath and trying to roll his hips in the next moment as if that will help him when he's being held so firmly. Euler even slows his own thrusts, and Kaveh whines again: now he has no answer and no release, and he's going crazy.

But that voice groans in his ear, telling him to ask, and the words immediately find Kaveh's lips, tone pleading and desperate: ]

Please, please Euler, I need more, I need to cum please let me cum.. fuck me, do something please—

[Alhaitham smiles. Presses a kiss to his ear.

He won't attend to what he's being asked, but Alhaitham knows that this won't really solve what he thinks is wrong with this whole ordeal, what Kaveh really needs to figure out for himself. He's not in a place to teach or tutor him, either. But at least—

At least he's asking for what he wants and needs here. Underneath him is but a small space, but it's done.]

That's my good baby. [He purrs, and his hand moves again, steady and in sync with the motion of his waist, with the nips on his neck.] Let me see you.

[ It doesn't take him long. Really, he never fell far enough down from the peak for much build up to be required— even with Euler's hand tight around him, he was right there, ready, and so the release of that hand is on its own almost enough of a trigger for him to release.

But the other purrs in his ear, starts moving again all at once, and that is definitely enough, a sharp gasp on Kaveh's lips as everything tightens up and his orgasm hits hard, spilling him over the other's fingers as he cries out, calling his nickname to the air.

He gasps for breath and pants it out in turn, heart hammering in his chest. ]

[Alhaitham follows rather quickly. There's a particular sharp thrust, and he spills over Kaveh's thighs, onto the bedsheets. This is not the first time he's seen Kaveh come undone, and with his beautiful blue eyes closing, the arch of his body, the way he shivers underneath, are still dazzling to witness, and enough to bring Alhaitham to the brink. He holds him tight, groaning his username into his hair, sighing and kissing along his temple, flopping and turning them so he doesn't smother him with his weight, and yet still holds him tight, legs tangled, offering his bicep for Kaveh to use as a pillow.

He sighs. Nuzzles.] Thank you. [He rasps, leaving kisses to his shoulder blades.] You're so beautiful.

[ Kaveh whimpers when he feels the wet heat of Euler's orgasm coating the insides of his thighs. It's far from the first time he's made another person come— he brought Euler over the edge just before, even— but something about it feels unique and special.

Maybe it's how close they were to actually fucking.

He sighs softly as they're turned, still trying to catch his breath, immediately taking the offered bicep and resting his head against it. ]

Mm... you don't have to thank me. I got just as much out of it as you did... You're— you're really amazing, Euler.

[ He yawns, and nuzzles in closer, mostly mindless except for one niggling thought. ]

What did you mean before? When you said I deserve more?

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