sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

I can hear you just fine.

[ Once again, the sound of that voice is soothing to his ears. He offers a quick smile to the camera, something pleased and content. If it weren't for the fact that he only just mentally moved on from the concept of Alhaitham and Euler being the same person, he might have taken pause at the similarities of their voices. But for now he says and notices nothing.

And as for the comment about their getting distracted... Kaveh can't help but laugh at that, a soft, amused sound that forms as easily on his lips as had he never been so upset just a short while earlier. But he nods, and moves over to the corner so that he can bring those boxes over nearer to the camera. He puts them down and then sits in his chair again, reaching for scissors to cut the tape open. ]

This one just has clothes. But this one...

[ He pauses, and his cheeks turn a pretty pink. ]

I'm about to tell you something about me, Euler. But you can't tell anyone. Okay???

[Alhaitham listens attentively, his curiosity piqued by the hint of secrecy in Kaveh's tone. The faint flush on Kaveh's cheeks on the screen adds a layer of intimacy to their conversation. What could a sexy streamer be suddenly embarrassed about?]

Your secrets are safe with me.

[Aiming for his voice to be reassuring, a gentle nudge for Kaveh to continue. He is so curious.]

[ The reassuring tone in Euler's voice is noted, and Kaveh takes a soft breath before he cuts the tape and opens the box, carefully starting to move its contents from within to the desk and the nearby shelf so that he can sort them better. ]

I um. I dunno if I've told you this before, but I'm kind of an artist. So I really like anything that's artistic or aesthetic. So there's.. um, there's some video games I really like. Animations, too. If it's pretty, I wanna watch it or play it. And sometimes I like it enough that I buy... stuff. Statues, or posters. Things like that. This box has that kind of stuff.

[ And without another word, he lifts a statuette from the box, a figure from one of the games he's played. ]

[As Kaveh reveals his artistic inclinations and shows off a statuette from his collection, Alhaitham's perspective shifts subtly. This new layer to Kaveh's persona—a blend of professional rigor and personal passion for the arts and aesthetics, a new perspective into Kaveh's hobbies, typically unseen in the austere halls of academia or the performative space of streaming, paints him in a more multifaceted light.]

Oh? It's great to see you have such a passion for the arts and aesthetics. It explains why you care about what you wear, too.

[Alhaitham’s response is genuine, his voice conveying a warmth that invites Kaveh to share more. He recognizes the vulnerability in sharing personal hobbies that might not align with public perception, and he feels heightened respect for Kaveh’s openness.]

It's incredibly detailed. Which game is it from?

[ When Euler answers not with laughter or teasing, but warmth and genuine curiosity, Kaveh's smile broadens. He wasn't expecting such a kind reaction— as nice as Euler is, as much as he likes him, he wouldn't have blamed him for a gentle tease, especially with how much of an effort Kaveh has gone to him his interests.

(Even now, the shelf where these will be displayed is set up at a point behind his desk, where the camera won't be able to see.) ]

It's called... Lowlight Spirits. It's an action RPG, famous for being really difficult. [ He realizes it sounds like he's bragging— and he laughs, shakes his head. ] I'm terrible at it, I always have to get co-op players to help me... but the environments are stunning, and the stories for the characters are moving in ways you wouldn't expect. There's this one city that's full of light, and one time I pressed the wrong button and accidentally attacked the guardian, and then everything plunged into darkness. It was so haunting. And I felt really guilty, even though it's just a game...

[Alhaitham listens intently as Kaveh describes his experience with the game, intrigued by the emotional depth Kaveh finds in these digital worlds. It's a side of him that Alhaitham hadn't fully appreciated before—the sensitivity to story and environment, even within a game.]

Fascinating. It’s like a good book or a film, isn’t it? Pulling you into its world completely.

[His tone is encouraging, inviting Kaveh to continue sharing. This interaction feels like a discovery, peeling back layers of someone he thought he knew in a professional capacity and revealing a richer, deeper persona beneath.]

I'm impressed that you engage so fully with it, even when it’s challenging. It says a lot about your appreciation for art and narrative.

[ Kaveh's brows lift in response to Euler's comment, a brightness taking over his expression. Here he was, thinking that he was rambling on about something in which the other would take no interest (and for the second time this evening, what with Alhaitham's questions and the resulting lecture on his feelings about architecture). But Euler responds with a comment of his own, rather than placating him.

And there's a compliment there, too. But for now, Kaveh is much more interested in his thoughts— ]

Do you enjoy reading, then, Euler? I've got a lot of books in another couple of boxes, so we can do those ones next..

I do, yes.

[He's about to say he also needs to read for work, but stops himself. That's too close. Too soon. It's best if he just doesn't say anything and Kaveh thinks it's a hobby, which isn't a lie.

He smiles, though.] Oh? I'm curious now. But I want to see what other artistic things you have first. Tell me more. I want to hear all about it.

[ It's been a while since a date showed an active interest in the things Kaveh likes. Perhaps that's why it becomes so easy for him to start talking about the things he pulls one after the other out of the box. Posters of movies— animated and live action— that have struck a chord with him. More statues and figures. Photos. Photobooks and artbooks both. Each is taken from the box in turn and talked about, shown off to the camera as Kaveh smiles, relaxing more and more until his anxieties are all but forgotten.

It's not until that box is empty that he makes a face, a little embarrassed at how readily he was able to talk Euler's ears off. ]

Did I put you to sleep yet?

Not at all.

[He smiles, even if he has taken his laptop to his bed, and has laid down with it on his lap, his headphones plugged in. As much as he appreciates silence, watching Kaveh excitedly talk about the things he enjoys is something he's finding to be entirely relaxing. He has an interesting eye for things, little things that catch his eye and his heart, and that resonates with Alhaitham, a little bit.

It's interesting, and he feels grateful that he could share this moment with him, even if via a pseudonym and an anonymous identity.

But his headphones do sign that they're running out of battery.]

It's getting late, though. I'm glad we made some progress on your unpacking. [A pause, and he says this earnestly.] Thank you for showing me all of this.

[ He can hear the smile in Euler's voice when he talks, and that's enough for him to know that the other is being truthful in what he says. It brings a smile to Kaveh's own lips, even if he is disappointed that their call has to end after what feels like such a short time. With how little they've been able to talk lately, he's missed him a lot—

He doesn't complain, though. He wants the other to see him smiling, so he knows he's helped even after the day Kaveh has had. So he blows a kiss, leans his head on his hand as he peers into the camera. ]

It's my pleasure. I'll try to make sure I'm done before we chat next time. Then I can give you a tour.

[ A few more comments, a promise to talk soon, another blown kiss, and Kaveh ends the call, continuing his unpacking by placing some of the objects on his shelves, and laying out the posters and photos so he can decide where to display them once everything else is in its place.

The feeling of loneliness is quick to creep back, cold and discomforting, and even as he changes into his sleep pants and shirt and scrapes his hair back into a loose bun, Kaveh's not sure he'll be able to sleep just yet.

Maybe...

A few minutes later, with a Blu-Ray in hand, he pads across to Alhaitham's bedroom and, seeing the strip of light still glowing from underneath, knocks quietly on the door. ]

Hey.. [ He offers a small smile when the door opens. ] Um, I know this is kind of a weird favor to ask. But I was wondering if I could bum a cigarette?

[ It's not that he wants to smoke it. There's a part of him craving the taste of it, a hint of an alternate reality where Euler can kiss him goodnight and hold him as he sleeps. That's all. ]

[He's not expecting a knock.

But when he hears it, he's expecting everything.

Maybe a good night, maybe a thanks once again for allowing him to move in. Maybe a warning, say to be quiet in the morning, or some sort of idiosyncrasy that Kaveh hadn't revealed yet.

That he figured everything out. That the gig is up.

He's not expecting Kaveh to ask him for a cigarette, of all things.

So he blinks at him for a moment; two moments.

Alhaitham goes:] ... Sure. One minute.

[And steps out of the door, still a bit reeling from the request.]

Just the one? Here. [He stretches his hand out with the pack so Kaveh can pluck the cigarette from it.] Take the lighter that's inside.

...Yeah. Just the one.

[ He takes it as offered, takes the lighter along with it. ]

Do you prefer it only used outside, or is inside okay?

[ After all, the last thing he wants is to break Alhaitham's rules on day one, of all things. This isn't something they've talked about for obvious reasons— Kaveh isn't a smoker.

...Which explains the look Alhaitham is giving him. ]

It's. I'm not gonna smoke it, really. I know that's kind of a waste. I just.. the taste is.. it's kind of comforting. I know that's a really weird thing to say about cigarettes but.. yeah.

Inside is fine, but I do open the windows and smoke near them. [He starts to explain.

But then Kaveh goes and justifies his request and—

The taste.

The taste is comforting.

What tastes— Ah.

Kaveh is going to kill him.]

Anyway. Those things will kill you. [He says, because he's a little petty.]

Okay. I'll open the window and sit near it.

[ And then Alhaitham makes a comment that, for a moment, Kaveh finds completely confusing. Yes, these things will kill him. But why would Alhaitham say that? The one between the two of them who actually smokes—

The memory hits him halfway into opening his mouth, and with a roll of his eyes, he reaches out, shoves lightly at Alhaitham's shoulder. ]

Shut up.

[Oh, there's a reaction he didn't expect.

But it's beautiful to watch unfold, anyway. The moment where the idea clicks, and Kaveh rolls his eyes upon the realization, and Alhaitham is shoved but can't help chuckle.]

Have a good night, Kaveh.

Have a good night, Alhaitham. I'll return the lighter to you in the morning.

[ He starts to turn, and then pauses, biting his lip. ]

Actually...

[ And he turns back around, holding out the Blu-Ray in his hand. ]

If you're not planning on sleeping anytime soon, did you wanna watch a movie with me? It's a Studio Scirocco film; they're known for their beautiful animation styles and watercolor backgrounds. You can bring a book out if you want.. I was just thinking the company might be nice.

[Kaveh could tell him that it's the most hideous of B Movies to ever exist.]

Sure.

[He steps out of his room, putting on his slippers.]

If we're watching this, do you want anything to drink? Some tea?

Tea sounds nice. And...

[ He chews on his lip for a moment. ]

I have some snacks in my room. Terribly horribly unhealthy, but they'll be good to nibble on while we watch.

[ And so, while he waits for Alhaitham to ready the tea, Kaveh goes to get the snacks, setting them on the coffee table while he gets the movie set up. He opens the window a little to vent the scent of cigarettes out of the room; because the sofa is a little further away from it than he would like, he puts a desk fan on the edge of the table to help waft it out. He even goes to the effort to get a blanket for them, getting himself cozy underneath it when he's done. ]

Edited 2024-07-01 14:22 (UTC)

[Alhaitham enters the living area, balancing a tray with two steaming cups of herbal tea, a soothing blend of chamomile and mint that he selected to help calm their nerves after the emotionally charged day. As he sets the tray down on the coffee table, his gaze sweeps over the thoughtful setup Kaveh has prepared for their movie night. Various snacks are neatly arranged next to a cozy, plush blanket that's draped over the back of the sofa.]

You went all in. I'm impressed.

[His voice carries a note of genuine appreciation as he lowers himself onto the sofa, the cushions yielding softly under his weight. Carefully, he adjusts the blanket, spreading it over their laps to share. His movements are cautious and purposefully slow to ensure he respects Kaveh’s personal space, yet the gesture of pulling the blanket over both their legs bridges a subtle gap between them.

As he settles in, Alhaitham takes one of the cups and offers the other to Kaveh. The warm glow of the room, softened by the dimmed lights and the flicker of the television screen waiting on the movie's start menu, casts a relaxing ambiance.

All's well when it ends well? He's half waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He sips his tea, savoring the gentle heat and the herbal aroma that blends seamlessly with the quieter, more contemplative atmosphere they’ve cocooned themselves in for the evening. As the opening credits of the movie begin to roll, Alhaitham allows himself a moment to fully relax into the cushions, the shared blanket, and the company of someone who is slowly but surely painting his evenings with broader strokes of color and emotion.]

[ Kaveh laughs softly at that. ]

Of course I did. If you're gonna watch a movie with me, you have to do it properly.

[ "Properly" meaning with drinks and snacks and dimmed lights and blankets— and, apparently, cigarettes. He smiles when Alhaitham spreads the blanket over the two of them, and he doesn't move in close the way he would if they were on a date or something similar, but he doesn't move away either, the small space between them comfortable enough for him. ]

Ready?

[ He starts the movie, sips his tea with an appreciative hum. The mint gives a refreshing life to the chamomile, which in turn helps to further dull the sharpened edges of his nerves. And it's about 10 minutes in that he lights the cigarette, allowing himself just enough of a breath to feel and taste it, a soft cloud in the air when he breathes it out.

And, feeling bad about stubbing it out already when the man who let him take it is right next to him, he turns slightly, nudges his knee against the other man's thigh. ]

Not to encourage you in your habits any further, but... Did you want it?

[The whimsical and harmonious strains of the movie's soundtrack fill the room and Alhaitham finds the gentle sway of the narrative and the soothing blend of chamomile and mint in his tea coaxing his senses into a state of relaxed alertness.

He watches Kaveh out of the corner of his eye as he lights the cigarette, taking only a brief draw before exhaling a thin wisp of smoke. The action seems to satisfy some deep-seated craving, and Alhaitham wonders if the taste of nicotine is what Kaveh was truly after—a lingering remnant of the night they shared at the club, perhaps, where amidst the noise and chaos, their kisses were marked by the sharp, underlying bite of smoke. A bit of Euler in the room, while Euler himself watches.]

I don't smoke, [Alhaitham jokes softly, a snort escaping him as he smiles and adds,] I’m good, really. I'll refrain before bed.

[Leaning forward, he reaches for a small, unassuming circular trinket box on the coffee table, opening it to reveal it’s an ashtray. He places it between them, a silent offer of convenience.]

It’s okay if you don’t want more of it. You can stub it out here.

[ He starts a little at the statement that Alhaitham makes, his attention drawn momentarily from the movie. Then, he laughs, a gentle and yet robust sound, another nudge against the other's side as he makes a show of rolling his eyes in the other's direction. ]

You are such an idiot..

[ There's a fondness to his tone that surprises even Kaveh, a warmth in his smile that is completely genuine as his attention follows Alhaitham's hands, watches him open a delicate and beautiful little ornament to reveal it as an ashtray.

Huh. Apparently the man has some aesthetic sense after all. Pleased with the revelation, Kaveh allows himself one more not-quite puff from the cigarette, eyes closing at the way the acrid taste rolls onto his tongue. It's not good, but it's somehow nice, and only as he breathes out once more does he reach to stub it, leaning back into the couch again. ]

Thanks for that. I know it was a weird request.

[The playful rebuke from Kaveh draws a genuine chuckle from Alhaitham, the moment feeling lighter and more personal than many of their previous interactions. The fondness in Kaveh’s voice doesn’t go unnoticed, and it adds a layer of comfort, softening the edges of his usual reserved demeanor.]

Not a problem at all. [Alhaitham’s response is gentle, acknowledging the peculiar request with an understanding nod. He watches Kaveh extinguish the cigarette, glad to have provided even a small comfort.

As the movie continues, the intricate animation and soothing soundtrack work their magic. Alhaitham's body gradually relaxes further into the soft cushions of the sofa, the shared warmth beneath the blanket and the calming herbal tea combining to lull him towards a state of drowsiness. He's spent so many nights with his mind racing, thoughts of work and complicated personal dynamics keeping him alert, that the peacefulness of this simple shared activity feels almost novel.

Gradually, as the movie unfolds its colorful scenes, Alhaitham’s eyelids grow heavy. The ambient light from the screen, the quiet sounds of the film, and the steady breathing beside him coalesce into a lulling rhythm. His head begins to tilt slightly, almost imperceptibly at first, as sleep beckons. Without realizing it, his body leans, seeking out a natural point of balance and warmth. As his head finds a soft landing against Kaveh’s shoulder, Alhaitham succumbs to sleep, the boundaries of their usual interactions blurring into the comforting simplicity of human contact.]

[ The movie is almost at its halfway point when Kaveh feels the additional lean of weight against his shoulder. It's with initial confusion that his head turns, a slight frown on his expression— although it quickly softens into a smile when he sees Alhaitham resting against his shoulder, eyes closed in the beginnings of sleep.

The other must have used a lot of energy helping him calm down earlier, he thinks, not even knowing what the other has gone through over the last few days and weeks since their meeting; and so, with that smile still gentle on his lips, he reaches to take the cup from the other's hands, placing it on the table in front of them with his own, and then settling back, tugging the blanket a little higher over the two of them. When the movie ends, he thinks, he'll extricate himself carefully from the other, lay him on the couch, and retire to his own room...

Of course, such a moment never comes. With the warmth of the other laid over him like a weighted blanket, the calming of the tea and the softness of the movie and its music, it's not long before he, too, starts to doze. He doesn't realize it, but little by little his head slips to rest on top of Alhaitham's, his eyes weighted and heavy as they sink shut against the stress and pain of the day.

The movie plays on unheeded, eventually landing back at its own menu screen and then lapsing onto suspend mode after extended inactivity. The night creeps on, and soon the colors of sunrise start to bleed in through the open window along with the sound of birds singing their morning songs. ]

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