sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[Well.

None of this is new to Alhaitham, yet he frowns, reassuring Kaveh that he's listening intently. Because he truly is. How can he not be, when what he tells him is basically a confession?

Warmth blooms in his chest, and he nuzzles Kaveh's hair as he explains, breathing him in, the scent of his shampoo, the soft warmth from his skin. Alhaitham isn't sure how this came to be, but he doesn't feel like diving too deep into the origins and the hows.

Not when Alhaitham feels the same, anyway. As Euler, as Alhaitham himself. Kaveh is quickly coiling into the depths of his psyche, and he allows for it, craves it.] Baby… [he whispers, cuddles close, hooking a foot to tangle between his own, soothing a knuckle across a lashline.] It's alright. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Well, wouldn't fairness involve both of us getting what we want? [He tips his head, presses a kiss onto his temple.] What if I want you not to feel constricted?

Then you're a better person than I am.

[ Not that he didn't already know that. Euler is someone special, someone who treats him than so much more than what he deserves. Where Kaveh would go to pieces if their positions were reversed, he just...

He bites his lower lip, chews at his gloss some more. Alhaitham told him he should ask about it, though, didn't he? So he takes a breath, pulls back just enough that he can finally look up at the other even as Euler moves to curl them in more closely to one another. ]

...Doesn't it bother you? I know you want me not to feel constricted, but— [ He bites his lip, asks it again: ] Doesn't it bother you, Euler? If I'm with someone else too?

[ It's a horrible thing to feel, but part of Kaveh wants the answer to be "yes". For Euler to want more from him just like Alhaitham does. Because that will mean that he really wants him, right? ]

[With a shake of his head, he chuckles.] This doesn't make a person bad or good.

[He begins to say, but Kaveh's questions don't truly sound like questions, but an imploration of some kind. 'You expected him to be upset about it,' they had discussed. The shiver of delight in the architect's body the moment Alhaitham pressed a little closer and claimed to want a little bit of Kaveh for himself.]

I didn't think I should be. [He presses another kiss to the crown of his head, tips Pharos' chin up so he can peck his nose, his lips, his cheek.] We've met through a very public channel, after all. If we're talking about fairness, it wouldn't be fair of me to want to change you.

[Absently, he tugs Kaveh's leg so it drapes across, almost hooked around his waist, and he strokes from knee to hip, then down again.] Besides, you said it yourself. You want me to be your first, you do all these special streams with just me, you meet with me here, and when you don't you miss me. You told me you were mine right here in this room. That's what I want.

[His hand stops at the curve of Pharos' upper thigh, his fingers squeezing.] But it seems you want me to act upset.

[ Despite the worry and upset written all over him, a small smile tugs at Kaveh's lips when Euler pecks kisses against his crown, his nose, his lips, his cheeks, when the other man drags him closer and touches him so casually and confidently all at once even as he talks through his feelings on it, explains his reasonings—

And despite all of Kaveh's concerns and misgivings and fears, he can't help but think it makes a lot of sense. Everything Euler has said is true, after all. Pharos does treat him differently, puts on special streams just for him and meets him outside of the bounds of his role as a streamer. And he's admitted to wanting, still wanting, Euler to be his first, to belonging to him—

Everything Euler says is true, so why does Kaveh feel something eating him up from the inside out?

His lips part, a small frown creasing his brow, and he's not sure what he's going to say but he has to say something— or at least he thinks he does until Euler keeps speaking, fingers squeezing at his thigh as he talks, and Kaveh's cheeks turn pink. ]

I...

[ He chews on his lower lip, looking up at the other man. ]

Maybe if you did, maybe if I had to.. if you made me make it up to you somehow, maybe I'd feel less guilty.

[He can't say no to that.]

Oh? [A slight twitch to his lip, and Alhaitham—Euler—schools his expression into seriousness. Into a moment of cold calculation, as though he's assessing Pharos' very core through his color-lensed eyes.

Kaveh's way of finding himself back towards guilt seems to be an issue that keeps showing up, and Alhaitham isn't sure if it's the right way to go about it. But he looks up through the mask, long lashes, bitten lip, and Alhaitham's fingers splay wide until the round of his ass, patting it lightly as a tease before he squeezes it again.] I see. How naughty. Do you enjoy the punishment that much?

Mm.. maybe.

[ Maybe, he says, but it's perhaps obvious from the way that he squirms a little under the light pat, the squeeze of his ass, that he very much does. Whether it's because of the pleasure inherent in the action, or even just the ability to release some of the stress, he's not sure. But—

He hums softly, and he curls in closer, the length of his body flush against Euler's. ]

Maybe we should, mm, talk about the contracts too. So we can. You know. Figure out what works for us. Right?

[ Though if Euler wanted to punish him now, first, he can't say he'd protest either. ]

[Alhaitham tickles him playfully.]

Tempter… [He chuckles, kissing him again, taking a deep breath as he does so, relaxed, calm. Alhaitham knows that whether as Euler or Alhaitham, he can reassure Kaveh's concerns and even offer some distraction. A bit of playfulness also helps.

How strange, to go out of one's way for this one person alone.] You can't just throw a business proposal while you're distracting me like this.

[But he still twists, scooping Pharos up onto his lap as he sits sideways for them both to get up. He gives Kaveh a light pat on the behind again as he walks to the folder he had dropped onto the desk before gathering him into his arms as he arrived. He takes a seat on one of the chairs, and drags the other so that Kaveh can sit close to him and pore over the conditions they wrote.

He arches an eyebrow at double penetration, already had an inkling over face-fucking, and all the things that involve mirrors and exhibitionism.

He circles a couple of his own on his contract. 'Body worship', 'risk of discovery'.] What do you think of these? I know you mention exhaustion, too, but what about frustration?

[He mulls over the greens, yellows, reds. Everything seems to match. His hand finds Pharos' thigh to stroke as he reads through and while they decide on a safeword, obviously pleased by the fact that they're very compatible about what they like and don't like. He finds it funny that Kaveh seems to have a penchant for things regarding his mouth. He wonders why that is.] What do you think of 'Lotus' for a safeword?

[ Naturally, he yelps and jerks when Euler tickles him, starts to protest— I said no tickling, oh my god— but the other stops before he can complain too much and lifts him up again, leaving Kaveh feeling doted on and cared for for the second time in mere minutes.

(is it bad how he thinks he could really get used to this?)

He reads over what Euler has marked on his conditions just as the other sits and looks over his own, although he can't help but steal the occasional glimpse over toward the other man, seeing the way his eyebrow lifts at something (and Kaveh wonders at what? but doesn't say anything). All in all, they seem remarkably compatible— not an entire surprise, but something pleasant to note all the same.

When the other leans over to circle some things on his own, Kaveh's brows rise over the mask, and his face heats. ]

Body worship, risk of discovery— [ And he's imagining himself on his knees, supplicant, pressing kisses to Euler's body, exploring inch by inch and finding what he likes the most; and he's imagining the two of them pressed together hot and heated somewhere where an open door would spell the end of the encounter and—

he shifts in his seat. ] Mm. I like those a lot, I'm okay to include those too. As for frustration... [ A tilt of his head. ] I know what the word means but I'm not sure how it would be used in a sexual context. Could you give me an example, Mister E?

[ Unable to help himself, he closes his hand over the top of Euler's, holding onto it, just allowing himself to enjoy the contact even if it means the other can't stroke his thigh quite as well.

(Probably for the best when his imagination has him bordering on hard.) ]

And I think "Lotus" is a good choice. I can't imagine either of us ever needing to use that for any other reason.

[This close, he can see the other shift around and try to ground himself by clasping their hands together. He's so expressive, even when trying to keep it subtle. The power of suggestion is a strong one, however, so he's not entirely surprised. He's been sending him written words and it has been enough for Pharos to get all worked up, the last session had him basically face-fuck him upside down. Kaveh is a very creative person, it's only natural for his imagination to be kickstarted so easily.

It makes him fun to tease.]

Let's imagine you're wearing a toy I can control. [He leans his temple against his propped hand, looking at Pharos thoughtfully. While he can't move his hand to and fro so easily, he can knead at the flesh regardless, soft and gentle for the time being. ] But I only set it to get you worked up, and not to get you to climax. Imagine that for several hours, maybe 2 or 3. Or 3 or 4. You're not allowed to work on or touch yourself, only I get you to make you come. [He gives Pharos' thigh a squeeze.] What do you think of that?

Oh. That sounds— I'd be so—

[ Any attempts that Kaveh is making to calm himself are summarily pulled apart and stomped over by Euler's explanation of frustration. His cheeks darken, and he shifts once more in his seat, even though he knows that doing so will jostle the hand squeezing against his thigh. The images of before are replaced by the distant feeling of pleasure, by the thought of him squirming and begging through text as Euler just smiles— ]

Yeah. I think I'd really like that.

[ And, turning his face into Euler's neck, he adds: ]

I'm imagining how it would be, trying to go about my day with you controlling my pleasure like that..

[With a chuckle, he tips Pharos' head to steal a sweet kiss from him, petting his thigh soothingly and teasingly. He's pleased that they're so compatible, that they seem to be aligned in so many ways like this. If only they had aligned before, their relationship was probably ending up differently.

But no matter, now. He gives him another kiss.] Finally, about names. Do I keep calling you 'baby'?

[ Kaveh hums, leaning into that kiss, a soft sigh of content on his lips. He feels like he could just keep kissing him, but instead Euler asks a question— a very fair one, at that. He tilts his head, not really backing up at all, hovering close as he considers it. ]

I don't mind "baby".. I like it. It makes me feel special. But was there something else you had in mind?

No. [He nuzzles his nose playfully, setting the pen in his hand on the table and skimming little circles with his fingertips on Kaveh's inner thigh. Enough discussion, his focus is entirely on the streamer beside him.] But I do like how you react to "baby". [A peck.] My baby.

[ Of all the things—

Kaveh's cheeks flare with fresh heat, and he ducks his head after the soft peck, doing everything he can to conceal his embarrassment without outright hiding his face. For Euler to go so far as to say that... ]

I. Um. Well, if you like my reaction, then.. I like being called that, so. It works out. Right?

It does. [He wants to laugh. While he expected Kaveh to be bashful about it, or a bit embarrassed, he was not expecting for him to react how he did. He tips his head towards him, pecks him again as he maneuvers him to sit on his lap.] So 'baby' if alright, but 'my baby' is too much?

[ Kaveh colors a little more darkly, and presses in closer as he's pulled into Euler's lap. To the question, though, he shakes his head. ]

It's new. I like it, it's just. Different.

[ But he does like it. It's a reminder, isn't it? No matter how much his mind ~~and heart~~ might have led him astray as of late, the nickname brings him back to the safety of this place, this person. When he's here, when he's with Euler, when it's just the two of them...

He rests his forehead against the other man's. ]

It's fitting, anyway. I am yours.

[For a moment, he allows himself to bask in the closeness, in the warmth of the man pressed and sat on him, the scent of him and his breath, the tender scrapes of his voice through his throat now that he's close. Alhaitham sighs, nuzzles a bit further, tilting his head and almost slotting their mouths together before a hand curls on the base of Pharos' neck, pulling him slightly apart.]

Show me. [He demands, though it's not without pressing a soft kiss to his lips to soothe the aggression. He doesn't want to lead or dominate by force.] But first, be good for me and get me my cigarettes, the pack is in my jacket pocket by the door?

[ For a moment, Kaveh starts to feel guilty over the words, especially given the conversation they had earlier. But Euler reacts well, pulls him in for a slow, tender kiss, nuzzling against him and tilting his head, and Kaveh answers in kind, a sigh on his lips as he parts them for the other's mouth.

The tenderness, though, is cut short by a hand on his neck, a demand on Euler's tongue. He appreciates the sharpness of it; he appreciates just as much the gentleness that accompanies it—

And his toes practically curl with curiosity and arousal, wanting to know what it is Euler has planned for them.

He nods, and slides off the other's lap, and maybe he makes a show of swaying his hips a little as he walks over to collect the pack for the other man. He moves back with a smile more confident than he himself is, and stands in front of him. He could sit again, but with the previous demand, he knows a shift in dynamic has occurred; he knows the right thing to do is to wait. So he holds them out patiently, offering them to Euler. ]

These are yours. How should I show you, Mister E?

[Euler leans forward to grab the pack from Pharos' fingers, opens it and withdraws a cigarette and the lighter inside, lets the pack itself rest on the desk in front of him.

And then he leans back, eyes slightly crinkled with fondness, a bit of amusement since the streamer had sashayed away from him, then come back. His knees scatter slowly, his legs spreading as he makes a show of rolling and shifting his hips upwards as though adjusting on his seat.

And then he lights up the cigarette, letting the lighter skitter over the surface of the table. His starting drag is enough to get him to look over Kaveh's body, the slope on his groin, through the see-through of his shirt. Eyes stopping at his bellybutton, nipple; Euler blows a plume of smoke away from him as he looks at his lips.

And then he pats on his thigh.] C'mere.

[ Kaveh finds himself watching with rapt attention as Euler stretches out, shifting and adjusting on his seat in a way he has to know is the hottest thing the other has ever seem. And then it's followed by—

Oh. No, scratch that, this is the hottest thing Kaveh has ever seen: the way Euler takes a drag from his cigarette as his eyes trail over his companion, slow and sure in the way they take every last bit of Pharos in. It makes him squirm a little, restless as he stands before him, the conversation and the tension both combining to leave him starting to grow horny in an all too visible way.

And he pats his thigh and calls for him, and Pharos follows instantly, sitting so he's straddled over Euler's thigh, eyes soft and wide and wanting as he looks up at him, still waiting to hear what the other wants from him. ]

[His free hand splays over one of his thighs, kneading and stroking like he owns it, like he revels in how the flesh gives under his fingers. A thumb slips on the inseam of Pharos' tight trousers, squeezes the fold between thigh and hip leisurely, regardless of how Pharos reacts.]

Do you really want me, baby? [He asks, taking a quick drag to give a moment of silence and a break for Pharos to answer.]

[ Kaveh's eyes widen in shock, taking a moment to realize that Euler is just teasing him. A few syllables stutter helplessly off his lips as he searches for what to say— and then his cheeks color, and his gaze drops as he huffs out a sigh. ]

Of course I want you... I told you I'll show you that I'm yours, I just... tell me how you want me to show you and I will...

[ Despite his understanding now that the other is teasing, his eyes are wide and soft, wanting more from the other. ]

You're so sweet. [He rasps, his eyes unable to hold coldness towards him. Gentle until it's not, Alhaitham's hand skims over the line of Kaveh's spine underneath his shirt, pushing him closer, then downwards to force him to roll his hips against the slope of his own thigh.

He blows the smoke upwards, taking his time, giving Pharos time to grind a couple more times, before he nuzzles into his ear.] I want to feel you want me. Show me.

I—

[ Any protest that might otherwise find Kaveh's lips is taken instead by a soft sound, half gasp of surprise and half moan of pleasure, as Euler pushes him closer and down, causes his hips to roll down against him. And of course, with permission all but granted, he responds immediately, continuing to move his hips and grind down on him. Like this he knows it will barely take him any time to come to full hardness, knows he's bordering on enough of it already that Euler will feel him even through the layers of material that separate them.

He's starting to steady himself into a rhythm when lips find his ear, and his head tilts as Kaveh moans. ]

I... yes, I— can you feel me?

Baby… [he sighs, tenderness in his lips even if he brushes them softly across the line of Kaveh's neck. He can't help the warmth in his chest as Kaveh eagerly shows off his need, his want, wishing to keep him in a perpetual state of pleasure and safety. Alhaitham finds himself weakened to Kaveh's needful moan, and yet—

He has a role to play, so he takes another drag, rolls his own head away and picks up Pharos' chin with two fingers, tilts his head just enough to keep him close to his own mouth, tendrils of smoke out through his teeth as he speaks.] Not yet. Can you show me more? Can you wait until I finish my cigarette? I'll reward you if you do.

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