sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[And there's something to Kaveh's eagerness, even as he grinds past the boundaries of what they had fallen into each other to seek, that Alhaitham can't blame for the greed that he's also feeling. It's then that he does remove Kaveh's hand from his erection, even if his own body is screaming for more.

He wants more, he does, the gyrating motion of his hips doesn't stop even as he shifts his weight and straddles the other's hips. He's not thinking when he grabs both of the blonde's wrists with one hand while tipping his chin towards him and steal a kiss with the other, pushing those wrists over Kaveh's head and away from the slow, purposeful, seeking pressure of his body, spilling a groan into the other's mouth as he goes.]

[ He yelps, stunned, when his wrists are caught in one large hand and pushed above his head, and even as Alhaitham's mouth presses against his again he can't help but wonder for a moment if he made a mistake, pushed it too far.

But the pleasure between them continues unheeded, and too slow Kaveh realizes that the other is continuing his slow grind down into his body, bringing them together in a way that has him aching for more. His own hips continue to arch up, this time into Alhaitham instead of his own hand, and he gasps into the other's mouth, wrists squirming slightly in the other's hold. ]

Mnn. Alhaitham, you—

[ Teeth nip softly at a lip, almost in reprimand, although it comes across perhaps more sulky than anything. ]

You won't let me touch you?

[With a gasp and a groan, Alhaitham punctuates that nip with one of his own, licking the ache from it after with a lingering lap. He searches for the right angle of his hips to slot just right as he grinds his erection as though through his trousers, through Kaveh's, pressing into the other's so he can feel the length of him against his own.]

You already are. [He whispers with a soft smile, humming as he steals another kiss, soft and gentle even as he increases the pressure with a subtle hiss, weaving his fingers through Kaveh's and squeezing.] Can't you feel it?

Y-yeah, but I—

[ He cuts himself off with a gasp, appreciating from the increase in pressure the way that Alhaitham has shifted, allowing them to better press up into one another as their hips move and shift in the most delightful of rhythms. With a soft, whiny sound, he tugs at his hands again, but there's something deeply pleasurable about how fast he's held, how strong the fingers are around him that he can't break free.

And all the while, the pleasure of their movements coursing through him, pulling him closer and closer to a fall he doesn't want to experience too soon— ]

Gods, I.. Mm, it feels so good..

[Ask him once, if this is to make any sense. Ask him twice, and his answer would be the same. Three times, and Alhaitham would say to stop asking.

He's not going to answer. Because he can't. Everything is shaped in the form of Kaveh's sides underneath his thighs, the squeeze of them around the architect's hips, the line of their cocks making a mess of the thin material of their loungewear, the slick heat of Kaveh's tongue against his own. He will not answer because he doesn't care about the answer.] Yeah… [he whispers, and pulls back enough to bring Kaveh's hands underneath his sweatshirt, to guide them over his chest.] You feel amazing.

[ They're words that Kaveh has certainly heard before.. but never in this context. Usually it's from people fucking into his mouth, or blowing their load after something else he's done, some other pleasure he's offered them. Even Euler has said it, praising him for simulated sex—

Never once has someone told him he feels amazing in the midst of a messy makeout session, as his arms are held back and his cock is ground into in a way that he knows he won't hold out against much longer. Somehow it's even more of a turn-on, something Kaveh can't defend himself against, leaving him gasping breathlessly against the other's mouth.

When his hands are guided under the material of Alhaitham's sweatshirt, there's no hesitation— the blonde is quick to explore, fingers dragging over lines over muscle, rolling over his nipples, taking handfuls of strong pectorals and marveling at the strength he can feel.

And there's something about that strength that's such a turn on, knowing his roommate could manhandle him, could throw him into bed and have his way with him in a heartbeat— and yet he's so gentle, so sweet in everything he does— In some ways, comes the wild thought, he's so much like Euler, but also so different—

Kaveh breaks the kiss with a soft, whiny gasp, half-lidded red eyes seeking Alhaitham's gaze. ]

If we keep— mm, if we keep going like this, I'm. I'll come.

[ It's something of a threat, of a promise, and from the way Kaveh's hips continue working up against the other man's, it's one he intends on keeping. ]

I know. [He rasps as he leans his forehead against Kaveh's. With the other's hands exploring his body, he allows himself to release his wrists, to sink into him further, to reach around Kaveh's waist, under the curve of the small of his back, and slip his fingers lower to hoist his hips upwards, pressing an increment further against the roll of his own.

Pained, needful—desperate. Like he's a man starved, he nips at Kaveh's lips like they're the only thing that will sate him.] I want you to. I'm— close, too.

[ Kaveh groans as Alhaitham reaches around behind him to hoist and press his hips up further, a shudder of pleasure running down his spine at how well he can feel the other against him, even through the material of their pants. With how thin they are, made for casual rest around the home, it's perhaps no surprise, but there's something about it that makes it all the more real, and he groans, answers each kiss like he can't get enough. ]

Please—

[ It's as far as he gets before he breaks off with a sharp, whiny moan, the same kind that Alhaitham has heard in his headphones before but this time right against his lips, sweet and needy. His hips stutter as he comes; his lips too, mumbling out soft, shaky whines against the other. ]

[Everything about this man drives him to madness. Alhaitham can only explain his actions—irrational, impulsive, and so very, very tender—by placing the blame on the man writhing underneath him with a want that he's never exposed to his viewers, except his most special one.

Alhaitham laps at those whines with a greed that he doesn't recognize, rolls his hips further like he's riding a high that he can't climb out of. Until he does careen out of the hike, parting his lips with a body-rattling shiver, finally closing his eyes as he makes a mess out of them both, stroking Kaveh's hair back, and his cheek, cradling his face like he's precious, even as he reaches his own orgasm.

He exhales shakily, utterly surrendered.]

[ Kaveh's not quite sure what he likes more— the shaky sound on Alhaitham's lips, or the feeling of the other's warmth between them, briefly palpable despite the clothes they wear.

All he knows is that there's a part of him that doesn't want it where it is— he wants it in him, wants that sensation filling him up, warming from the inside instead, wants Alhaitham pressed deep into him, sweating as he moves—

(Fuck, how is he still this horny?) ]

I—

[ He should say something, but he doesn't know what to say, and so instead he just reaches up, sliding one hand out from under Alhaitham's shirt so that he can cup it over the side of the other's neck, pressing the softest, sweetest of kisses to his mouth. ]

[Utterly spent, utterly lost, he's dizzy still when Kaveh's fingers curl around his neck, when his lips brush against his own to kiss him so tenderly. Alhaitham sighs, and melts further as if that were still possible, his lungs spilling out a feeling of completion even if softened.

It's mindless, warm, the way he tilts his head to kiss Kaveh back, to goad more kisses into him, into his breath, into his core. His thumbs stroke over his cheeks.]

[ The first time anything happened between the two of them, it was late at night, and Kaveh was drunk. It was his first time experiencing something so intense in person, and he fell asleep in mere seconds.

This time, he's not drunk, and he has no such excuse. And yet as their bodies settle against each other, as Alhaitham tilts his head to kiss him more, he finds his body relaxing, a slow but sure pull away from the realm of wakefulness. Between the recent release and the overwhelming stress of grading that has taken over his life these last couple of days, he finds himself drifting off, falling into a contented slumber even as he returns those kisses, both arms sliding around Alhaitham's shoulders.

Someday, perhaps, Kaveh will be able to stay awake after having some form of sex with Alhaitham. But today is not that day. ]

[Soft, small, lingering kisses, they both share through their slow and languid states as they tangle closer, more comfortable, even if on the floor. When Kaveh stills, slumber taking over, Alhaitham spends a moment watching his face, wondering how tired he must truly have been, to not hold his walls so well as he should. To be so needful, so trusting.

Alhaitham presses a kiss to his cheek before he carefully gets up, picks Kaveh up into his arms, and takes him to his bedroom. He heads to the ensuite bathroom, wraps his waist with a towel from there, before taking off his soiled trousers and underwear and giving him some semblance of privacy. With the towel still wrapped around him, he wraps Kaveh in his blankets, and can't help himself but stroke his golden tendrils away from his face.

He pads over to the laundry room, takes off his own clothes, and throws all of them into the washer. Goes to his room and turns on the shower in his own, a towel wrapped over him as he picks up the remains of the snacks and tea they made and takes them to the kitchen. He'll clean those the next day.

And when Alhaitham finally steps into the shower, he can't help but smile ruefully. What kind of intricate play have they fallen into?]

[ He sleeps long and deep, dreamless and calm. It's not until early the next morning that he awakens again, having slept almost twelve hours, wrapped in a towel and his blankets both, not exactly clean but comfortable. At first, as he goes through the motions of getting up and cleaning up, he doesn't really register what happened— it's not really until after, as he sits back on his bed again, toweling his hair dry, that it sticks fully in his mind, and his cheeks turn red despite no one being there to see.

God, he...

They should talk about it, he thinks, but before he even thinks about leaving his room, he reaches for his phone, trembling fingers keying in a familiar name. ]

I wanna see u asap
I'll finish my contract 2day
I hav 2 talk to u about something
it's important

[ A pause, and he sighs. It sounds like he's in trouble, so... ]

I'm ok
I just
something happened with my roommate again
we didn't have sex but
you and I promised we'd talk abt anything like that right?

[Alhaitham's sleep is wrecked.

His dreams are filled with strong, slender thighs, chuckles, and breath tasting of mint. Alhaitham wakes up again and again, frustrated, incredibly frustrated, even if the actions both Kaveh and he took were supposed to sate him.

He's overcome with need, he realizes, as he takes a cold shower in the early morning hours, thankful for the insolation of the walls around him.

Alhaitham rolls on his bed when he senses his phone vibrating. He has to blink once, twice. He thought this was Kaveh texting Alhaitham.

But no, it's Pharos texting Euler.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes. Of course Kaveh would fret. There was nothing Euler could have said for him not to worry about, and nothing that Alhaitham could have done to prevent this. If anything he's aware of his own shortcomings when it comes to Kaveh. When they're so glaringly, vexingly obvious, he has nothing to do but accept them.

Alhaitham sighs, texts back:]

Is this evening alright? We can meet at the club again. I'll get us a private room so we have privacy to discuss.

[A moment after, and he shakes his head.]

Thank you for telling me. It's alright. Please don't stress about it. We can talk about it further when we meet, if you want.

[ The message comes sooner than he would have expected. He looks at the clock, blinking at the time, and then back at his phone, finding a relieved sigh on his lips. Despite everything, Euler is okay. They're okay. He's lucky—

And perhaps it's the giddiness of relief that overtakes him for a moment, has him shoot off a text before he even stops to think about what he's saying: ]

Euler, it's so early
why r u awake?

[ As if he's not the one who started the conversation. He calms in the next moment, takes a breath, sends another message with his actual thoughts, not giddy flirting. ]

Anyway, yeah.
this evening sounds good, Im free
but u paid last time, do u want me to? I don't mind
and... thx. I'd like to talk abt it more.

[ A pause, as his teeth rake over his lower lip, worry in his face. ]

I cant wait 2 see u.

[ He sits down after that, spends a solid 30 minutes finishing off the contract he and Euler talked about. And then, as if to shake off the anxiety, he stands, takes another shower, and only then emerges into the kitchen to (quietly) make himself some tea. He's craving the bitter taste of a cigarette, but it's neither the time nor the place for that. At some point, when Alhaitham wakes up, he's going to have to face him too.. and he has no idea what he's going to say. ]

Why are you?

[He snorts, rubbing at his eye again, still sleepy.]

I dreamt of you.

[Not a lie. And hopefully somewhat soothing. Maybe it eases up the idea of a conversation over Kaveh's 'roommate issues', but also the idea of Alhaitham insisting on paying for everything.]

It's fine, I got it. I miss you too.

Went to bed early, woke up early. I kinda fell asleep w/o meaning to.. guess i was tired.
but.. you did??
will you tell me abt it?

[ "I got it", Euler says, and Kaveh doesn't protest— for now. Maybe he can make an argument out of it later, though. ]

You've been working really hard. Did you sleep well, despite everything?

[He's concerned. Mostly, because he rarely sleeps badly, and he already knows it's going to destroy his whole routine. He feels like crawling into the covers of his bed, turning the AC on into sleep mode, and calling it a day already.]

I did. You were laughing. You sounded happy.

Mm, I did.
Usually I don't, so.. it was nice.

[ The kettle boils. Kaveh fills his mug, adds a squirt of honey, and then takes a seat at the kitchen counter, warming his hands around the surface without touching it. ]

I like the sound of your dream.
I'm always happy when I'm with you, so it makes sense that I was laughing.

That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.

[He spends some time listening to the comings and goings within the house. Finds it foreign, and yet not unwelcome. Alhaitham hasn’t lived with a person under the same roof for a long time, and it’s startlingly comfortable. He sighs.]

Well… I was also tickling your legs.

You
Euler, that's so weird.

[ He says that, but there's a silly little smile tugging at the corners of his lips, a soft laugh tumbling over his tongue. He sips at his tea, shaking his head. ]

I'm really really ticklish, so don't you dare, okay?

Is it? We were kissing, too. Does that make it less weird?

[Alhaitham gets up, ponders on yet again another shower. He decides against it, even if he still goes to the bathroom; washing his face with some cold water would help him wake up.]

Do you find it embarrassing to be ticklish?

[ Despite himself, he laughs— and then shushes himself. It's stupidly early still, and he doesn't want to disturb Alhaitham, after all.

(Oh, gods. Alhaitham. What is he going to do—)

Breathe. Focus on the text... ]

It's not so much that it's embarrassing
It's a weak point!
But if we were kissing too, I suppose it's not so bad..

[Through the piping, he hears the laugh. It's clear, and bright. Alhaitham takes a deep breath, his lip twitching, knowing he was the one to cause that.]

I don't think it's a weak point. It's a point of your body that makes you laugh. Isn't laughing a good thing?

[He can calculate that the moment he steps into view for Kaveh, he won't laugh or smile. But they can't avoid each other forever. So he gets out of his bedroom, pads still drowsily to the kitchen.

To find Kaveh propped on the counter, head bowed into his phone, the morning light hitting his side. A small smile on his lips, in his eyes.

The urge to kiss him again surges like a gunshot, to slip between his legs and hold him by the hips. He makes a beeline for the coffeemaker and turns it on.]

'Morning. [He says quietly.]

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