sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[ He's not entirely sure what he's expecting next. Perhaps, if anything, an answer to his question. It's not the way his thighs and ass are suddenly touched with firm hands. It's not the grasp of fingers pulling him close so that he grinds into the other man. It's not the groan on Alhaitham's lips when his head turns, a gasp for breath on his lips.

Yet every single one of these things stirs him, sends liquid fire through his veins and right between his legs.

And maybe he should pull back, apologize again; he knows he shouldn't be doing this, not only for his sake and for Euler's sake but for the fact that it's taking advantage of Alhaitham's feelings for him.

But Kaveh answers instead by grinding down against Alhaitham again, this time without being guided into it. His hips roll, and he pants out a sharp sound of pleasure. He can't explain it, but he wants this— ]

[He grows unaware of any potential conflict within Kaveh's mind, his own focused on the weight of the man rolling on top of him, gasping into and for the friction, for more of it, and Alhaitham cradles the back of the architect's head, bunching beautiful golden hair in his fingers to lap into the warmth of his mouth with another hum.

Kaveh may not want him. Not in the same way he wants Euler. Not in the same way Alhaitham wants him. But he still wishes to show him what it means, what he needs. Wrapping his arm tight around Kaveh's waist, he keeps the motion of his body steady, still, so he can roll his own hips painstakingly slow and meaningfully.

He'll grind him into the core of the earth.

With that thought in mind, he kisses him, bringing him down and close against his body, holding him tight before he twists them and turns—

And they're not on a bed, or a flat surface. So plummet to the floor they do.]

[ Oh, fuck.

Alhaitham's movements, the tight of the arm around Kaveh's waist, have him singing like a bird, a sharp sound into the now-limited space between their mouths. In a single moment, his guilt is dashed away and forgotten in favor of the pleasure bestowed upon him, and every thought he's had of pulling away, of apologizing, is written over with the desire for more.

He grinds down against him, fresh moans on his breath as his mouth presses hungrily into the other's again. He's hardening quickly, and he wants Alhaitham to feel it too, wants the other to see what he's doing to him—

But then they're in freefall, and Kaveh's head rings with a sudden ache as it hits the table before they crash to the floor.

For a moment, he sees stars.

Kaveh groans, and this time it's a different kind of sound, somewhere midway between pain, disbelief, and amusement. ]

..H— Haitham?

[Well.

Alhaitham is a very intelligent man.

But this is not a very intelligent moment. Half-dazed by the tumble, the fall, the fact that his neck got into a weird position as he falls into Kaveh's chest and his arm rakes over the edge of the table, leaving an angry red mark, and he pulls back and instinctively cradling the bump on Kaveh's head.

'Haitham?' Kaveh calls out. And his heart does the equivalent of a somersault.]

Are you alright? [He asks, winded, but still unable to unsee the ridiculous of this situation. Never let it be said that Alhaitham takes himself too seriously.]

[ He blinks, taking a moment to process the question and find the answer. Is he alright? His head hurts, and he feels a little dizzy, but it's nothing serious, probably just from the impact.

Alhaitham on the other hand sounds breathless, even as he cradles his head, and Kaveh isn't sure if it's from the fall or the kiss. His head tilts in concern, and he offers him a small smile. ]

I am. I hit my head but I don't think it's too bad or anything— what about you? You sound winded.

[ The angle they've landed in is awkward enough that it's hard to see his face well, which makes it hard for Kaveh to get a read on him past "breathless".

And also, one of Alhaitham's knees is between his legs, perhaps from trying to brace himself, which means he can definitely feel— ]

Also, uh. Sorry about. That.

Yeah, I'm fine.

[Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.

Alhaitham groans, and tries to get up, but ends up also bumping his head against the underside of the table with an 'ow!' and he just.

Gives up. Slumps, defeated, face on Kaveh's chest with a resigned hum.

He shakes his head.]Don't apologize. [He shifts his weight pointedly, his groin against Kaveh's thigh. He's also erect.] One second.

[ He gasps when Alhaitham manages to bump his head on the table, the other's name a shocked breath of his voice as he reaches, for a moment unsure of what to do as he settles against him, slumps with his face pressed into his chest.

Oh. That's kind of cute of him...

The descriptor of "cute" leaves Kaveh's head almost as quickly as it arrives, though, a soft groan on his lips as the other man shifts, presses his own groin into Kaveh's thigh so that he can feel an answering hardness there. And Kaveh knows the moment is gone, spoiled, but also... ]

One second isn't going to fix this, Alhaitham. Here, let me..

[ He slips a hand between them, cupping the younger's arousal through his pants as his teeth press into his lower lip. ]

Is this okay?

[The moment is off. Or it should be off. Both of them are interrupted, nursing their respective bumps on their heads, awkwardly scrambling to get back up.

Alhaitham is deflated, sunk into the scent of Kaveh's shirt as he tries to recoup when he feels the architect's beautiful fingers sneak between them and touches his erection through his joggers—

Alhaitham's mouth muffles a moan against Kaveh's chest, his hips grinding into and away from the touch as if jolted.] Kaveh.

[It's. Does Kaveh really want this?

His hand reaches out and he

pushes the coffee table to the side, away from them, with a scrape of the table legs against the area rug underneath it, and he pulls himself up, weight propped by the heels of his wrists. He doesn't move Kaveh's hand away, but he's flushed at the ears, at the neck. Looking up at Kaveh's eyes, he rolls his hips again, hoping that the pressure between bodies and hand at least have some effect in return.] You… tell me…

[ Something about his name, spoken like that on the other's mouth, sends a delighted shiver down Kaveh's spine. It's nicer even than the moan that lifts to Alhaitham's lips in response to the touch, almost as nice as the way the other man suddenly shoves the coffee table away from them in a show of quick strength.

(Okay, so it's not the heaviest coffee table in the world, but still—)

Yet again, his thoughts are interrupted by the way the other starts to move, hips rolling against Kaveh's own hand, the angle between them enough that the movement pushes the back of his hand against his own arousal, and his eyes widen as his head tilts back, a breathless gasp on his lips. As his hand continues to caress and feel, so too does he get the benefit of the touch, inspiring his hips to press up harder in response. ]

Of course— of course it's alright with me, I'm... mn, I'm the one who started it..

[And there's something to Kaveh's eagerness, even as he grinds past the boundaries of what they had fallen into each other to seek, that Alhaitham can't blame for the greed that he's also feeling. It's then that he does remove Kaveh's hand from his erection, even if his own body is screaming for more.

He wants more, he does, the gyrating motion of his hips doesn't stop even as he shifts his weight and straddles the other's hips. He's not thinking when he grabs both of the blonde's wrists with one hand while tipping his chin towards him and steal a kiss with the other, pushing those wrists over Kaveh's head and away from the slow, purposeful, seeking pressure of his body, spilling a groan into the other's mouth as he goes.]

[ He yelps, stunned, when his wrists are caught in one large hand and pushed above his head, and even as Alhaitham's mouth presses against his again he can't help but wonder for a moment if he made a mistake, pushed it too far.

But the pleasure between them continues unheeded, and too slow Kaveh realizes that the other is continuing his slow grind down into his body, bringing them together in a way that has him aching for more. His own hips continue to arch up, this time into Alhaitham instead of his own hand, and he gasps into the other's mouth, wrists squirming slightly in the other's hold. ]

Mnn. Alhaitham, you—

[ Teeth nip softly at a lip, almost in reprimand, although it comes across perhaps more sulky than anything. ]

You won't let me touch you?

[With a gasp and a groan, Alhaitham punctuates that nip with one of his own, licking the ache from it after with a lingering lap. He searches for the right angle of his hips to slot just right as he grinds his erection as though through his trousers, through Kaveh's, pressing into the other's so he can feel the length of him against his own.]

You already are. [He whispers with a soft smile, humming as he steals another kiss, soft and gentle even as he increases the pressure with a subtle hiss, weaving his fingers through Kaveh's and squeezing.] Can't you feel it?

Y-yeah, but I—

[ He cuts himself off with a gasp, appreciating from the increase in pressure the way that Alhaitham has shifted, allowing them to better press up into one another as their hips move and shift in the most delightful of rhythms. With a soft, whiny sound, he tugs at his hands again, but there's something deeply pleasurable about how fast he's held, how strong the fingers are around him that he can't break free.

And all the while, the pleasure of their movements coursing through him, pulling him closer and closer to a fall he doesn't want to experience too soon— ]

Gods, I.. Mm, it feels so good..

[Ask him once, if this is to make any sense. Ask him twice, and his answer would be the same. Three times, and Alhaitham would say to stop asking.

He's not going to answer. Because he can't. Everything is shaped in the form of Kaveh's sides underneath his thighs, the squeeze of them around the architect's hips, the line of their cocks making a mess of the thin material of their loungewear, the slick heat of Kaveh's tongue against his own. He will not answer because he doesn't care about the answer.] Yeah… [he whispers, and pulls back enough to bring Kaveh's hands underneath his sweatshirt, to guide them over his chest.] You feel amazing.

[ They're words that Kaveh has certainly heard before.. but never in this context. Usually it's from people fucking into his mouth, or blowing their load after something else he's done, some other pleasure he's offered them. Even Euler has said it, praising him for simulated sex—

Never once has someone told him he feels amazing in the midst of a messy makeout session, as his arms are held back and his cock is ground into in a way that he knows he won't hold out against much longer. Somehow it's even more of a turn-on, something Kaveh can't defend himself against, leaving him gasping breathlessly against the other's mouth.

When his hands are guided under the material of Alhaitham's sweatshirt, there's no hesitation— the blonde is quick to explore, fingers dragging over lines over muscle, rolling over his nipples, taking handfuls of strong pectorals and marveling at the strength he can feel.

And there's something about that strength that's such a turn on, knowing his roommate could manhandle him, could throw him into bed and have his way with him in a heartbeat— and yet he's so gentle, so sweet in everything he does— In some ways, comes the wild thought, he's so much like Euler, but also so different—

Kaveh breaks the kiss with a soft, whiny gasp, half-lidded red eyes seeking Alhaitham's gaze. ]

If we keep— mm, if we keep going like this, I'm. I'll come.

[ It's something of a threat, of a promise, and from the way Kaveh's hips continue working up against the other man's, it's one he intends on keeping. ]

I know. [He rasps as he leans his forehead against Kaveh's. With the other's hands exploring his body, he allows himself to release his wrists, to sink into him further, to reach around Kaveh's waist, under the curve of the small of his back, and slip his fingers lower to hoist his hips upwards, pressing an increment further against the roll of his own.

Pained, needful—desperate. Like he's a man starved, he nips at Kaveh's lips like they're the only thing that will sate him.] I want you to. I'm— close, too.

[ Kaveh groans as Alhaitham reaches around behind him to hoist and press his hips up further, a shudder of pleasure running down his spine at how well he can feel the other against him, even through the material of their pants. With how thin they are, made for casual rest around the home, it's perhaps no surprise, but there's something about it that makes it all the more real, and he groans, answers each kiss like he can't get enough. ]

Please—

[ It's as far as he gets before he breaks off with a sharp, whiny moan, the same kind that Alhaitham has heard in his headphones before but this time right against his lips, sweet and needy. His hips stutter as he comes; his lips too, mumbling out soft, shaky whines against the other. ]

[Everything about this man drives him to madness. Alhaitham can only explain his actions—irrational, impulsive, and so very, very tender—by placing the blame on the man writhing underneath him with a want that he's never exposed to his viewers, except his most special one.

Alhaitham laps at those whines with a greed that he doesn't recognize, rolls his hips further like he's riding a high that he can't climb out of. Until he does careen out of the hike, parting his lips with a body-rattling shiver, finally closing his eyes as he makes a mess out of them both, stroking Kaveh's hair back, and his cheek, cradling his face like he's precious, even as he reaches his own orgasm.

He exhales shakily, utterly surrendered.]

[ Kaveh's not quite sure what he likes more— the shaky sound on Alhaitham's lips, or the feeling of the other's warmth between them, briefly palpable despite the clothes they wear.

All he knows is that there's a part of him that doesn't want it where it is— he wants it in him, wants that sensation filling him up, warming from the inside instead, wants Alhaitham pressed deep into him, sweating as he moves—

(Fuck, how is he still this horny?) ]

I—

[ He should say something, but he doesn't know what to say, and so instead he just reaches up, sliding one hand out from under Alhaitham's shirt so that he can cup it over the side of the other's neck, pressing the softest, sweetest of kisses to his mouth. ]

[Utterly spent, utterly lost, he's dizzy still when Kaveh's fingers curl around his neck, when his lips brush against his own to kiss him so tenderly. Alhaitham sighs, and melts further as if that were still possible, his lungs spilling out a feeling of completion even if softened.

It's mindless, warm, the way he tilts his head to kiss Kaveh back, to goad more kisses into him, into his breath, into his core. His thumbs stroke over his cheeks.]

[ The first time anything happened between the two of them, it was late at night, and Kaveh was drunk. It was his first time experiencing something so intense in person, and he fell asleep in mere seconds.

This time, he's not drunk, and he has no such excuse. And yet as their bodies settle against each other, as Alhaitham tilts his head to kiss him more, he finds his body relaxing, a slow but sure pull away from the realm of wakefulness. Between the recent release and the overwhelming stress of grading that has taken over his life these last couple of days, he finds himself drifting off, falling into a contented slumber even as he returns those kisses, both arms sliding around Alhaitham's shoulders.

Someday, perhaps, Kaveh will be able to stay awake after having some form of sex with Alhaitham. But today is not that day. ]

[Soft, small, lingering kisses, they both share through their slow and languid states as they tangle closer, more comfortable, even if on the floor. When Kaveh stills, slumber taking over, Alhaitham spends a moment watching his face, wondering how tired he must truly have been, to not hold his walls so well as he should. To be so needful, so trusting.

Alhaitham presses a kiss to his cheek before he carefully gets up, picks Kaveh up into his arms, and takes him to his bedroom. He heads to the ensuite bathroom, wraps his waist with a towel from there, before taking off his soiled trousers and underwear and giving him some semblance of privacy. With the towel still wrapped around him, he wraps Kaveh in his blankets, and can't help himself but stroke his golden tendrils away from his face.

He pads over to the laundry room, takes off his own clothes, and throws all of them into the washer. Goes to his room and turns on the shower in his own, a towel wrapped over him as he picks up the remains of the snacks and tea they made and takes them to the kitchen. He'll clean those the next day.

And when Alhaitham finally steps into the shower, he can't help but smile ruefully. What kind of intricate play have they fallen into?]

[ He sleeps long and deep, dreamless and calm. It's not until early the next morning that he awakens again, having slept almost twelve hours, wrapped in a towel and his blankets both, not exactly clean but comfortable. At first, as he goes through the motions of getting up and cleaning up, he doesn't really register what happened— it's not really until after, as he sits back on his bed again, toweling his hair dry, that it sticks fully in his mind, and his cheeks turn red despite no one being there to see.

God, he...

They should talk about it, he thinks, but before he even thinks about leaving his room, he reaches for his phone, trembling fingers keying in a familiar name. ]

I wanna see u asap
I'll finish my contract 2day
I hav 2 talk to u about something
it's important

[ A pause, and he sighs. It sounds like he's in trouble, so... ]

I'm ok
I just
something happened with my roommate again
we didn't have sex but
you and I promised we'd talk abt anything like that right?

[Alhaitham's sleep is wrecked.

His dreams are filled with strong, slender thighs, chuckles, and breath tasting of mint. Alhaitham wakes up again and again, frustrated, incredibly frustrated, even if the actions both Kaveh and he took were supposed to sate him.

He's overcome with need, he realizes, as he takes a cold shower in the early morning hours, thankful for the insolation of the walls around him.

Alhaitham rolls on his bed when he senses his phone vibrating. He has to blink once, twice. He thought this was Kaveh texting Alhaitham.

But no, it's Pharos texting Euler.

He sits up, rubbing his eyes. Of course Kaveh would fret. There was nothing Euler could have said for him not to worry about, and nothing that Alhaitham could have done to prevent this. If anything he's aware of his own shortcomings when it comes to Kaveh. When they're so glaringly, vexingly obvious, he has nothing to do but accept them.

Alhaitham sighs, texts back:]

Is this evening alright? We can meet at the club again. I'll get us a private room so we have privacy to discuss.

[A moment after, and he shakes his head.]

Thank you for telling me. It's alright. Please don't stress about it. We can talk about it further when we meet, if you want.

[ The message comes sooner than he would have expected. He looks at the clock, blinking at the time, and then back at his phone, finding a relieved sigh on his lips. Despite everything, Euler is okay. They're okay. He's lucky—

And perhaps it's the giddiness of relief that overtakes him for a moment, has him shoot off a text before he even stops to think about what he's saying: ]

Euler, it's so early
why r u awake?

[ As if he's not the one who started the conversation. He calms in the next moment, takes a breath, sends another message with his actual thoughts, not giddy flirting. ]

Anyway, yeah.
this evening sounds good, Im free
but u paid last time, do u want me to? I don't mind
and... thx. I'd like to talk abt it more.

[ A pause, as his teeth rake over his lower lip, worry in his face. ]

I cant wait 2 see u.

[ He sits down after that, spends a solid 30 minutes finishing off the contract he and Euler talked about. And then, as if to shake off the anxiety, he stands, takes another shower, and only then emerges into the kitchen to (quietly) make himself some tea. He's craving the bitter taste of a cigarette, but it's neither the time nor the place for that. At some point, when Alhaitham wakes up, he's going to have to face him too.. and he has no idea what he's going to say. ]

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