sempiternals | Hang up all my fragile thoughts

[Seeping through the thin layer of his clothes is Kaveh's warmth, the clutch on his chest. Alhaitham's fingertip traces the beautiful dark eyelashes always framing multiple refractions of color—green, red, blue, violet,—the gorgeous line of his jawline. The need of him translates into tenderness, his lips blooming against the slick of Kaveh's tongue to kiss it, as well. Venomous and aggressive turned pliable, he pays reverence to it, scoops Kaveh's knees together with one hand to have his legs fold over his thighs.

It feels adolescent, when he cradles him close to lean against the cushions of the couch and the nook of Alhaitham's shoulder, tonguing tentatively the shape of his cupid's bow, to gasp when he finds Kaveh's tongue. His heart thrums through his ears, he hears the buzzing of his refrigerator in the distance and the television and his and Kaveh's breath but nothing else. Everything amplified and narrowed into the two of them, as all things should be.

Alhaitham pulls back just enough, watching Kaveh intently for a second before he nudges under his chin up towards him again for another kiss.]

[ There's no "little by little" for how Kaveh finds himself lost in the other's kisses. One moment, they're sitting and looking at one another, and in the next he's lost in a way from which there's no coming back. For every breath shared between their lips, Kaveh knows somewhere deep that getting out will be harder still. Yet he doesn't stop or shy away, allowing his heart instead to give him over, to cave into a desire both complex and simple all at once.

And cave he does. He shuffles willingly when his legs are folded over Alhaitham's thighs, moving closer in such a way that he's all but in the other's lap, pressing into those kisses without any hesitation, and one hand slips from where it's clenched with the other into the fabric of Alhaitham's shirt to wind instead around his shoulders.

When the kiss is broken, Kaveh blinks in soft confusion for a moment, eyes soft and wondering as they look at the other man. For a moment, the barest of worries— did he do something wrong— flits across his thoughts, but then Alhaitham's hand curls under his chin, tugs him back into a kiss.

He makes a soft sound— half moan, half breathless gasp— against the other's mouth, giving himself over to his kisses once more. ]

[Alhaitham huffs a soft sound, something giddy tugging at his lips that's so fond, so warm, he doesn't recognize himself if he were looking inward.

So he shushes Kaveh softly, presses his lips again, strokes down his arm, up his side, down his back, then up to cradle the base of his skull, and tilts his head further so they slot in. And it's perfect. It could be. Alhaitham isn't Euler (he is), and can't maybe give what Kaveh needs right then (he can), but he'll motion to him with the shape of his lips and the gentle hold of his fingers that he's there, for him, with him. That all worries and every need he has, Alhaitham can take care of. So he cradles him close, parting his lips, deepening the kisses between them, unhurried, undemanding, the only thing he requires of the other to enjoy the softness, the comfort, the feeling of their togetherness.]

[ It's true that Kaveh wants Euler, that he needs Euler. But it's just that right now, he's not thinking about Euler.. not even a little. While he doesn't realize it, it makes a lot of sense. After all, the man in question is here, holding him, making him feel safe and wanted and all those things he's dreamed about. If he has everything he needs and wants, how can he dream of anything else?

It won't, however, stop guilt from playing its role later on. Deep down somewhere within him, Kaveh knows something that he consciously does not, and his mind will wreak havoc on him for not knowing it.

But that is later, not now. Now, Kaveh answers every kiss the way Alhaitham offers it: as slow and tender as they are deep and passionate, tongue licking into his mouth between soft stolen breaths, fingers curling around the nape of his neck and splaying over his too-quick heart. Alhaitham would shush him, but his name falls soft from Kaveh's mouth anyway, a trembling, sweet sound. ]

[Kaveh's voice slips through and into his mouth and Alhaitham wishes to swallow it, drown in it, breathe only but the breath that Kaveh exhales. His remnants are his treasure, but then they take shape of Alhaitham's name, like it's made of crystal.

Alhaitham groans, his hand curled around Kaveh's nape tightens, a full body shudder slipping down his skin, rolling in goosebumps, clawing at his core to reach for more, to have the man in his arms cry out his name more, more often, with feeling.

He swallows down his own want. Kisses him deeper just for a fraction before tying it off with sweetness, then nuzzles his cheekbone, and presses small kisses under his ear.]

[ His voice, an involuntary call of Alhaitham's name, is met with a groan that sends shivers of delight down his spine, a shudder that he swears he can feel as fingers tighten at the nape of his neck, making him arch, and for a moment the kiss deepens and Kaveh chases it with hunger, breath sharp and tongue tangling—

And then it's sweet again as the other tugs away, nuzzles against his cheek and presses soft kisses to the skin.

Kaveh bites his lip, trying not to be so needy that he damn near whimpers— and failing. ]

You don't.. mn. Please don't stop.

[He's going to kill him. Alhaitham's breath comes out in a rushed sigh. He kisses along the delicate line of Kaveh's jaw, tipping his head up to draw him into another kiss, and it's still soft, still holding himself back from doing beautifully unspeakable things to him.]

Kaveh. [He chides, and the word is shaped with affection around his voice, between the gentle kisses that he presses to his lips. He asks for no answer, merely rakes his teeth over his tongue lightly to keep him still, strokes his hair as he maneuvers them so they lay on the couch, Kaveh half-draped over him. ]

What?

[ The answer comes on a soft whine, even as Kaveh is tugged so that he's laying half-draped across Alhaitham, as he's rewarded for his stubborn request with more kisses— gentle kisses that have his heart fluttering in his chest, seeing for more more more even as he can feel the other holding back from him.

And his lips part, to tell him he doesn't have to hold back, but at the same time his brain asks him why that holding back is happening—

As soon as the thought happens, others crash down around it, and Kaveh pulls back from their kiss, looking down quietly at Alhaitham, an unhappy expression forming quickly on his features. ]

I'm— I'm sorry. With everything I said to you, I shouldn't have—

[ Not to mention Euler. It's not like they agreed to be exclusive, they said they'd talk about it if something came up, but... but... ]

I shouldn't have.

[Fanning fingers over his ear to tuck hair behind it, Alhaitham looks at Kaveh in the same way he looks at ancient runes that have yet to be deciphered—yet that most people know. Looking for the things underlined and underlying the slant of his brow, the mysteries of the downturn of his lips as he apologizes, again and again.

Alhaitham leans in, presses his lips again to Kaveh's, gentle at first, hard at second, pulling back and shaking his head.] Don't. I'm not holding back, I just felt like—[Softness, tenderness, something chaste for once, though their need and want slip onto the surface of their turvy emotions.

Alhaitham sates his thirst on Kaveh's mouth again, cradling his face and suckling on his upper lip, on his lower lip, slotting both of them together with his tongue.] Mm.

[ He's halfway to another apology when Alhaitham's mouth catches his, and there's a blessed, blissful moment of silence where Kaveh's brain stops for a moment, letting him just sink into the other without worry. And as it deepens, he finds himself clambering into the other's lap, sitting astride him as his arms both move to rest around Alhaitham's shoulders.

He shouldn't, but he wants to so desperately, and if the other isn't going to stop him, then why would he stop?

One question remains, though; when the younger pulls back to shake his head, Kaveh's head tilts as it finds his lips. ]

You felt like—?

[ But it's a question unfinished just like the apology before it, a low sound on his mouth as Alhaitham takes it with his, the hum of pleasure on his lips sending a sparking heat all the way down Kaveh's spine. ]

[Alhaitham wouldn't be able to explain the wish for him to keep kissing, be soft, and do something different than the needful, wanting personas they embody when they're together. He wouldn't be able to say how much he feels like taking care of Kaveh in his loneliness, how he's truly not alone, at all. He could, words don't miss him and he articulates them expertly if he wishes to.

But then Kaveh's thighs settle around his hips and his hands come up to stroke the firmness of them, up to the curve of his ass and the tapered slope of his waist.

He's no better than Euler. Who is he kidding? Even if his mouth wears the guise of affection, his hands are greedy as they knead at the firm flesh of his lower back, guiding Kaveh to grind against him. He groans, gasping for air as he turns his head back to catch his breath.]

[ He's not entirely sure what he's expecting next. Perhaps, if anything, an answer to his question. It's not the way his thighs and ass are suddenly touched with firm hands. It's not the grasp of fingers pulling him close so that he grinds into the other man. It's not the groan on Alhaitham's lips when his head turns, a gasp for breath on his lips.

Yet every single one of these things stirs him, sends liquid fire through his veins and right between his legs.

And maybe he should pull back, apologize again; he knows he shouldn't be doing this, not only for his sake and for Euler's sake but for the fact that it's taking advantage of Alhaitham's feelings for him.

But Kaveh answers instead by grinding down against Alhaitham again, this time without being guided into it. His hips roll, and he pants out a sharp sound of pleasure. He can't explain it, but he wants this— ]

[He grows unaware of any potential conflict within Kaveh's mind, his own focused on the weight of the man rolling on top of him, gasping into and for the friction, for more of it, and Alhaitham cradles the back of the architect's head, bunching beautiful golden hair in his fingers to lap into the warmth of his mouth with another hum.

Kaveh may not want him. Not in the same way he wants Euler. Not in the same way Alhaitham wants him. But he still wishes to show him what it means, what he needs. Wrapping his arm tight around Kaveh's waist, he keeps the motion of his body steady, still, so he can roll his own hips painstakingly slow and meaningfully.

He'll grind him into the core of the earth.

With that thought in mind, he kisses him, bringing him down and close against his body, holding him tight before he twists them and turns—

And they're not on a bed, or a flat surface. So plummet to the floor they do.]

[ Oh, fuck.

Alhaitham's movements, the tight of the arm around Kaveh's waist, have him singing like a bird, a sharp sound into the now-limited space between their mouths. In a single moment, his guilt is dashed away and forgotten in favor of the pleasure bestowed upon him, and every thought he's had of pulling away, of apologizing, is written over with the desire for more.

He grinds down against him, fresh moans on his breath as his mouth presses hungrily into the other's again. He's hardening quickly, and he wants Alhaitham to feel it too, wants the other to see what he's doing to him—

But then they're in freefall, and Kaveh's head rings with a sudden ache as it hits the table before they crash to the floor.

For a moment, he sees stars.

Kaveh groans, and this time it's a different kind of sound, somewhere midway between pain, disbelief, and amusement. ]

..H— Haitham?

[Well.

Alhaitham is a very intelligent man.

But this is not a very intelligent moment. Half-dazed by the tumble, the fall, the fact that his neck got into a weird position as he falls into Kaveh's chest and his arm rakes over the edge of the table, leaving an angry red mark, and he pulls back and instinctively cradling the bump on Kaveh's head.

'Haitham?' Kaveh calls out. And his heart does the equivalent of a somersault.]

Are you alright? [He asks, winded, but still unable to unsee the ridiculous of this situation. Never let it be said that Alhaitham takes himself too seriously.]

[ He blinks, taking a moment to process the question and find the answer. Is he alright? His head hurts, and he feels a little dizzy, but it's nothing serious, probably just from the impact.

Alhaitham on the other hand sounds breathless, even as he cradles his head, and Kaveh isn't sure if it's from the fall or the kiss. His head tilts in concern, and he offers him a small smile. ]

I am. I hit my head but I don't think it's too bad or anything— what about you? You sound winded.

[ The angle they've landed in is awkward enough that it's hard to see his face well, which makes it hard for Kaveh to get a read on him past "breathless".

And also, one of Alhaitham's knees is between his legs, perhaps from trying to brace himself, which means he can definitely feel— ]

Also, uh. Sorry about. That.

Yeah, I'm fine.

[Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.

Alhaitham groans, and tries to get up, but ends up also bumping his head against the underside of the table with an 'ow!' and he just.

Gives up. Slumps, defeated, face on Kaveh's chest with a resigned hum.

He shakes his head.]Don't apologize. [He shifts his weight pointedly, his groin against Kaveh's thigh. He's also erect.] One second.

[ He gasps when Alhaitham manages to bump his head on the table, the other's name a shocked breath of his voice as he reaches, for a moment unsure of what to do as he settles against him, slumps with his face pressed into his chest.

Oh. That's kind of cute of him...

The descriptor of "cute" leaves Kaveh's head almost as quickly as it arrives, though, a soft groan on his lips as the other man shifts, presses his own groin into Kaveh's thigh so that he can feel an answering hardness there. And Kaveh knows the moment is gone, spoiled, but also... ]

One second isn't going to fix this, Alhaitham. Here, let me..

[ He slips a hand between them, cupping the younger's arousal through his pants as his teeth press into his lower lip. ]

Is this okay?

[The moment is off. Or it should be off. Both of them are interrupted, nursing their respective bumps on their heads, awkwardly scrambling to get back up.

Alhaitham is deflated, sunk into the scent of Kaveh's shirt as he tries to recoup when he feels the architect's beautiful fingers sneak between them and touches his erection through his joggers—

Alhaitham's mouth muffles a moan against Kaveh's chest, his hips grinding into and away from the touch as if jolted.] Kaveh.

[It's. Does Kaveh really want this?

His hand reaches out and he

pushes the coffee table to the side, away from them, with a scrape of the table legs against the area rug underneath it, and he pulls himself up, weight propped by the heels of his wrists. He doesn't move Kaveh's hand away, but he's flushed at the ears, at the neck. Looking up at Kaveh's eyes, he rolls his hips again, hoping that the pressure between bodies and hand at least have some effect in return.] You… tell me…

[ Something about his name, spoken like that on the other's mouth, sends a delighted shiver down Kaveh's spine. It's nicer even than the moan that lifts to Alhaitham's lips in response to the touch, almost as nice as the way the other man suddenly shoves the coffee table away from them in a show of quick strength.

(Okay, so it's not the heaviest coffee table in the world, but still—)

Yet again, his thoughts are interrupted by the way the other starts to move, hips rolling against Kaveh's own hand, the angle between them enough that the movement pushes the back of his hand against his own arousal, and his eyes widen as his head tilts back, a breathless gasp on his lips. As his hand continues to caress and feel, so too does he get the benefit of the touch, inspiring his hips to press up harder in response. ]

Of course— of course it's alright with me, I'm... mn, I'm the one who started it..

[And there's something to Kaveh's eagerness, even as he grinds past the boundaries of what they had fallen into each other to seek, that Alhaitham can't blame for the greed that he's also feeling. It's then that he does remove Kaveh's hand from his erection, even if his own body is screaming for more.

He wants more, he does, the gyrating motion of his hips doesn't stop even as he shifts his weight and straddles the other's hips. He's not thinking when he grabs both of the blonde's wrists with one hand while tipping his chin towards him and steal a kiss with the other, pushing those wrists over Kaveh's head and away from the slow, purposeful, seeking pressure of his body, spilling a groan into the other's mouth as he goes.]

[ He yelps, stunned, when his wrists are caught in one large hand and pushed above his head, and even as Alhaitham's mouth presses against his again he can't help but wonder for a moment if he made a mistake, pushed it too far.

But the pleasure between them continues unheeded, and too slow Kaveh realizes that the other is continuing his slow grind down into his body, bringing them together in a way that has him aching for more. His own hips continue to arch up, this time into Alhaitham instead of his own hand, and he gasps into the other's mouth, wrists squirming slightly in the other's hold. ]

Mnn. Alhaitham, you—

[ Teeth nip softly at a lip, almost in reprimand, although it comes across perhaps more sulky than anything. ]

You won't let me touch you?

[With a gasp and a groan, Alhaitham punctuates that nip with one of his own, licking the ache from it after with a lingering lap. He searches for the right angle of his hips to slot just right as he grinds his erection as though through his trousers, through Kaveh's, pressing into the other's so he can feel the length of him against his own.]

You already are. [He whispers with a soft smile, humming as he steals another kiss, soft and gentle even as he increases the pressure with a subtle hiss, weaving his fingers through Kaveh's and squeezing.] Can't you feel it?

Y-yeah, but I—

[ He cuts himself off with a gasp, appreciating from the increase in pressure the way that Alhaitham has shifted, allowing them to better press up into one another as their hips move and shift in the most delightful of rhythms. With a soft, whiny sound, he tugs at his hands again, but there's something deeply pleasurable about how fast he's held, how strong the fingers are around him that he can't break free.

And all the while, the pleasure of their movements coursing through him, pulling him closer and closer to a fall he doesn't want to experience too soon— ]

Gods, I.. Mm, it feels so good..

[Ask him once, if this is to make any sense. Ask him twice, and his answer would be the same. Three times, and Alhaitham would say to stop asking.

He's not going to answer. Because he can't. Everything is shaped in the form of Kaveh's sides underneath his thighs, the squeeze of them around the architect's hips, the line of their cocks making a mess of the thin material of their loungewear, the slick heat of Kaveh's tongue against his own. He will not answer because he doesn't care about the answer.] Yeah… [he whispers, and pulls back enough to bring Kaveh's hands underneath his sweatshirt, to guide them over his chest.] You feel amazing.

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